Even in the sad days of an old summer, I will know how to smile.
While walking barefoot in the sand by the sea, I will let the breeze make way to the new beginning.
And when I don't have these things to remember the warmth,
I will be at peace
in the circle of your arms.
Avinash
I wrapped my arms around her and she was comfortably leaning on my chest. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to remember every details that I could. Bea was waiting for me to start my story, she was just caressing my arms gently.
I let out a sigh as I open my eyes. I kissed her hair before I speak.
"It was summer vacation and we were in Boracay. I was just 4 that time but I can still remember what happened back then." I paused for a second. "Babe, will you be mad at me if I tell you that I met my puppy love there?"
I heard her giggle. "Ofcourse not Babe. That was in the past. But—" She slapped my arm, "you are malandi ah. 4 ka pa lang may puppy love ka na."
I laughed a little. "I am sorry Babe, charming kasi boyfriend mo simula bata pa lang." I tried my best to make this conversation as light as possible.
"Okay." She dismissed the topic. "Please continue Babe."
I hugged her tightly. "It was me and Yaya Nors having our morning walk in the seashore when we bumped into someone I cannot remember the name. She was Yaya's acquaintance, and she was with her alaga, too. Nagsimula na silang magkwentuhan while me and the baby girl were hiding behind our Yaya's. We oftenly caught glancing to each other."
***Flashback
"Nakalimutan na ata tayo ng mga Yaya natin." I mouthed while scratching my head.
"I think so." The little girl said and smile shyly.
"Since they are busy naman, do you want to play with me?" I saw a frown of disapproval on her face. "Okay lang naman kung ayaw mo, nagtatanong lang naman ako." I said on a very calm but sad voice.
I saw her face with a small smile. "No, it's okay. Let's play na lang. Mukhang matatagalan pa ang mga Yaya natin sa pagkukwentuhan eh." She said and grabbed my hand.
"Yaya, gagawa lang kami ng castle." She shouted as she pulled me to run.
Naupo kami sa may buhangin malapit sa dagat at nagsimulang bumuo ng kastilyo. She was smiling from ear to ear while gathering the sands. I stared at her for a moment, memorizing every angle of her angelic face. But something hit my head and it was a ball of sand. Ang pretty nya pero salbahe naman pala.
"Sabi ko, let's build castle. Pero bakit wala kang ginagawa jan." She said on her sungit face.
"Bakit mo ko binato?" I said and started forming a ball of sand. I threw it to her and it hits her body. Her swimwear was full of sands.
"Ahhh gusto mo pala bato ng sands ah, eto sayo." She tossed another ball of sands and it hits my body, too.
I lobbed an orb of sands for the second time around and regrettably thump her face.
"Ouch." She rubbed her eyes. "Napuwing ako. Sakit ng eyes ko."
I panicked and hurriedly went near her. I took off my tshirt and use the back of it to wipe her face. "Sorry." Iminulat ko ang kanang mata nya at hinipan, ganoon din ang ginawa ko sa kaliwang mata nya. "Sorry, sorry."
She nodded. "You, naughty." She said, arms crossed.
"Ikaw nauna kaya." I said and smiled at her. Maybe, she realized that she started it that's why she giggled.
"Sorry." She said then peace sign. "Ammm ako nga pala si Tri, ikaw, anong pangalan mo?" She extended her hand and I accepted it.
"Thirdy naman ako. Ang galing halos tulad tayo ng pangalan."
"Oo nga noh." Both of us laughed.
"Edi friends na tayo?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Yes, friends." She held my hand and intertwined our pinky fingers.
Tri and I started gathering sands again to form a castle. But she became grumpy as the sand she was forming collapsed. So I looked for an empty cup and got some sea water and gave it to her.
"Basain mo muna ng kaunti yung sand para mabuo sya." I said and she nodded. I saw her happy face when she finally built up her first sand formation.
"Yey. Thank you. Nakabuo din sa wakas." She said while clapping.
"You're welcome." I said and showed her my full teeth smile.
We helped each other to build the castle. I saw how her eyes twinkles and the way her lips formed into a sweet smile when we finished it.
"We made it." She said while jumping. "Yaya, look at our castle." Both of our Yaya's went near us.
"Good job, Tri. Tabi kayo, dali. Pipicturan ko kayong dalawa." Inilabas nila pareho ang kanilang camera.
"Thirdy lapit ka kay Tri, then smile." Yaya Nors said. Tumabi naman ako sakanya and both of us smiled infront of the camera. "Ang cute nyong dalawa."
Tri and I became friends, we see each other everyday for our morning walk with our Yayas and play different games. Nakakapagkwentuhan din kami tungkol sa mga simpleng bagay, like our favorite colors, games, foods and other petty things.
"Look at those birds, Thirdy oh. Gusto ko din lumipad like them." She said while pointing the flock of birds across the sea.
"Paano ka naman makakalipad eh you don't have wings?" I answered and that made her frown. "Bakit ba kasi gusto mo lumipad?"
"Wala lang. Para makita ko yung magagandang views sa itaas at para makapunta ako sa mga lugar na gusto kong puntahan." She said while swaying her arms like a bird.
"Hayaan mo Tri, paglaki ko, magiging pilot ako. Para kahit papaano, matupad ko yung gusto mo."
"Yehey. Promise mo saken yan ah." Tri said and pulled me while running to the seawater.
"Oo promise yan. Pero bakit mo ko dinala dito? Sabi ni Yaya doon lang tayo sa gilid." I said while trying to pull her pabalik sa may buhanginan. Nasa may dagat na kami and the water was knee level.
"Gusto ko na magswim kasi. Busy pa sila Yaya kaya tayo na lang. Dito lang tayo sa mababaw." She said and we were holding each others hand.
Since I don't have any choice, I stayed with Tri and enjoyed the gently wave of the sea. She started splashing water to me so I responded. Dahil sa sobrang pagkalibang namin ay hindi namin namalayan na napalayo na kami sa pampang. Both of us panicked as the water was almost shoulder level. I reached for Tri's hand, she was scared at kitang kita sa mga mata nya yon.
"Come on Tri, balik na tayo sa pampang." I said on my calm voice, she forced herself to smile.
Nakakailang hakbang pa lamang kami ng biglang humampas ang malaking alon. I held Tri's hand tightly para hindi ko sya mabitawan. But the sea was too wild that time and there were tidal surges, nabitawan ko ang kamay nya.
I forced myself to fight the water, kinampay ko ang mga kamay at paa ko kahit hindi ako marunong lumangoy. She was asking for help so I tried my very best para makalapit sakanya. But unfortunately, the giant waves move us apart. I saw her crying, she was so helpless and so I was. Nakita ko kung paano kami unti unting lumulubog sa tubig. And after that, everything went black.
***End of Flashback
Bea cupped my face and gently wiping my tears. Her eyes were watery but still forcing to smile.
"It's okay Babe, it's okay." She muttered.
"Nasa hospital na ako noong nagising ako. I looked for Tri but she was still missing that time. Sinisisi ko ang sarili ko kasi hindi ko sya nasagip, wala man lang akong nagawa noong mga panahong humihingi sya ng tulong sa akin. Pakiramdam ko, ang hinahina ko." My voice cracked.
"Shhh Babe, you we're too young back then." She said straight into my eyes.
"Natrauma ako sa nangyari. Madalas tahimik lang ako at naiyak." Bea held my hand and squeezed it lightly. "But you know what Babe, God is really good. After a year, nabalitaan ni Yaya Nors na buhay si Tri. But unfortunately, ayaw sabihin sakanya kung saan ba sila nakatira. Simula noon, sinubukan kong mabuhay ng normal. Para pag nagkita ulit kami, makahingi ako ng tawad sakanya. I attended swimming lesson para hindi na maulit yung nangyari sa amin. And she was the reason rin bakit ako nag pilot, pambawi para matupad yung isa sa pangarap nya."
"So, buhay pala si Tri?" Bea murmured.
"Oo. Simula noong nalaman kong buhay sya, I kept on chasing her. Nakakatawa noh. Hinahabol ko yung taong di ko naman na alam ang itsura at kung nasaan na ba sya. Para akong baliw. Kahit noong dumating na si Billie sa buhay ko before, si Tri pa din ang naaalala ko. Lagi pa din syang laman ng panaginip ko." I saw Bea vowed her head.
"But everything changed when I met you, Babe." I slowly held her chin, para tumingin sya sa akin. "No more bad dreams about Tri and she barely crossed my mind."
She gave me a small smile while looking into my eyes. "Still, I feel sorry about what happened to Tri and I. But I learned to forgive myself and finally, naging masaya na ako." I said calmly.
"Paano kung bigla kayong magkita ulit?" There was uncertainty in her eyes.
"Ofcourse, I will say sorry to her." I answered shortly.
"Paano kung she has feelings for you, too. Iiwan mo ba ako?" Bea asked, namumuo na ang luha sa mga mata nya.
Unti unti kong pinagdikit ang mga noo namin while staring at each others eyes. I brushed my nose to hers before I speak. "Walang dahilan para iwan ka Babe. Puppy love lang yun at nakaraan na. Ang importante ay yung ngayon. At ikaw yun. Masaya ako sayo Babe, at lagi mong tatandaan, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal, Beatriz."
Tears started falling from her eyes and I wiped it using my thumb. "Mahal din kita, Thirdy." She whispered and smile weakly.
I gave Bea a quick kiss on her lips. A short and warm kiss to assure her that everything is fine and everything will be okay.
"Matulog na tayo Baby." I lay down first and gently pulled her to lay down, too. Her head on my chest and her arm around my body. I kissed Bea's hair and said "Good night."
"Good night, Babe. I love you." Hinigpitan nya ang pagyakap sa akin.
"I love you more, Baby." I hope after I revealed my wretched childhood to you, nothing will change. Wag sanang sirain ng nakaraan yung masayang meron tayo ngayon.