Hey, so there is a little bit of discrepancy between Lena's name. In a previous chapter, "Abandoned", I referenced her as Lina but it's actually Lena. I apologize for any confusion and will fix the mistake in said chapter.
Thanks, and enjoy!
Image to the right up top is of Lena (the actress is Anya Monzikova)
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Updated: April 15, 2019
Corvo
Flower buds hanging from skinny tree limbs grew into bright jade leaves, and the cool spring air sweltered into summer. Not long after we arrived home after the trial did the true realization of my new reality hit. A dead mate, and two dead friends I swore to protect from the Council. A gut-wrenching blow to my capabilities as an Alpha and friend, I succumbed to the calls of my bedroom and private floor most days. Dark clouds hung over Emerald the way depression rests on the backs of meek victims. My siblings didn't prod as I thought. The look on my face as I walked through the door answered the burning questions on the tips of their tongues. I left with four and came back with two. A failed mission to save three. L's death dangled in front of me on a loose rope. I did my best to look around it but her face, the longing look she sent my way moments before she plunged over the side of the cliff, haunted the inches in front of my face. The fall, every second of it, and my inability to get to her as I fought Luis and Mattias, occupied my dreams. Nightmares kept me awake at night. I stared at the ceiling and watched as it concaved into L's face, and her stretched out arms as she teetered on the edge of life. Terror-induced sweat-stained my clothing. A steady supply of shower steam filled my room every night. I stood under the rainfall faucet and allowed the scalding water to beat into my pores and leave red streaks in its wake. My mouth opened, and water filled my gums until it spilled over the side of my lips and crashed onto the tile under my feet. Numbing thoughts burned through my mind while I stood under the hot water. I thought of drowning.
"Corvo it's been three months," Jax huffed. He sat across from me at the dining room table. While the eggs in front of me tantalized the nerves in my nose, I couldn't bring myself to eat more than a bite or two. It hurt. Everything hurt. An empty shell of what used to be an Alpha sat before his Beta, and nothing Jax said broke through that barrier. "it's time to let go," he breathed out after a couple of moments of silence, most likely to see if I responded. Instead, I shoved the plate of food toward the center of the table and stood up. My chair screeched in protest.
Alpha Tyler called a dozen times within the first week. Twelve voicemails piled up on the office phone, a small red dot lit up every few seconds. I watched it through a dark room while I sat in the high-back chair and stared at the door. A reminder of a reality I wasn't ready to face. Jax had eyes everywhere, careful not to get too close, but never far. He refused to leave me alone for too long, afraid I may do something neither of us believed I had the capability to do. But his fear trickled into the others and they started tailing me as well. I caught their glances whenever I stepped into a room, only for them to dive off under the shadow of a doorway and slip out of sight before I had a chance to yell after them.
"Lena's coming today," Jax called before I escaped his arms reach. The already frozen scowl on my face worsened at the mention. I swallowed and shifted to face him.
"Is it that time already?" I asked, a bite in my tone. Jax nodded with a mouth full of food. He washed it down with coffee and stood to take our plates to the sink in the kitchen a doorway over. I watched him as he moved about the room, a near-floating entity whose body, besides his legs, remained perfectly still in stride. I followed him into the kitchen where several pack members loitered, plates in their hands. They talked loudly, a droning sound that carried through the entire room and bounced off every surface I saw.
"She comes at the same time every month," Jax called over his shoulder. I grumbled and grabbed at the coffee pot in its place at the machine. Sweet hazelnut filled my nose as the dark liquid cascaded into white porcelain, only to be tainted by leftover creamer flavored like a vanilla bean freshly plucked from its stem. I filled the cup with more creamer and stirred with an hour-old coffee spoon everyone in the kitchen used before me.
"When?"
"Fifteen minutes," Jax flipped the water off at the sink and turned abruptly, wiping his hands on a towel slung over his shoulder. "She called before you came down for breakfast," he added before tossing the towel onto a nearby counter. Jax strode past me and grabbed his forgotten mug of coffee on the breakfast table. One sip and a scowl later he dumped the last drops down the sink and left the mug in the sink with the rest of the dishes.
"Send her upstairs when she gets here," I said and retreated from the well-lit kitchen. Bright walls on top of marble countertops and sterile white floors overshadowed the touches of color in spatulas and dishware. Before Jax added anything to the conversation I climbed the stairs, mug still in hand, and shoved open the door to the office with the side of my arm. My father's high-back chair still adorned the room. It's brass rivets and dark velvet exterior stood as a staple in the otherwise dark office, blacked out by dark curtains. The rest of his old furniture hit the bottom of the dumpster outside before his body was in the ground a month. I couldn't bear to sit at his desk and write with his pens. See with his lamps. The office sat empty for a couple of months after his death. The oversized chair was alone. Alone until I gathered the courage to replace my father's presence. Once he was gone, however, something lifted from the room. His aura, maybe, but I entered bereft the deeply gutted feeling of nausea.
I settled into the desk chair and pulled myself up to the desk. My desk. A deep cherry oak with a layer of enamel overtop. I rarely sat in this room anymore, only when Lena arrived to inspect. They only lasted an hour or so but each time she came I thought maybe the Council finally gave up on their witch hunt for evidence of mutiny. This would be her third visit since the trial. The Chancellor spared me the weeks following L's death, allowed time for the boiling pot to simmer off into nothing before he risked another one of his agent's lives. I wasn't prepared to kill Lena – but the thought passed through my fingers every time I grabbed for the sharpest object I laid my hands on. The steady grip on a kitchen knife as I stabbed into a freshly picked pepper. White knuckles while I wrote out reports. Clenched jaw. If timed perfectly, a boa constrictor only need strike once. And his prey knew.
A knock on the door made my hand loosen on a fountain pen I held over an innocent sheet of paper. Barely legible scribbles littered the page in stiff swirls and harsh lines that struck through the paper and marred the enamel below it. As soon as I signaled for the person to enter, I gathered the paper in my hands and crushed it beneath my fist. I took the ball and tossed it into the wastebasket beneath my desk.
Lena entered quietly. Just like at Cole and Roddy's house, her attire remained the same. Black skirt, blouse, and jacket, with matching heels. Her pin-straight blonde hair grew since the last time I saw her. But her scowl greeted me the same as it did months ago. She had a dark red pin holding back shorter hair from her face and large diamond earrings that appeared too heavy for her almost translucent earlobes.
"Lena, a pleasure." I didn't move. The Councilwoman came up to the chairs in front of the desk and stood. Her long fingers wrapped over the tufted tops of the chairs as she took a deep breath in. Long, sharp fingernails that acted as knives to the flesh of the chair she clutched, stared back at me as I raised my gaze to meet her eyes. They were dark and void. Black ribbons of emotionless history wrung around her pupils like two nooses.
"All mine, Corvo," she hissed. Lena tossed her eyes over the top of my head and another scowl came to her lips. "You really should get some light in here."
"That's Alpha to you," I corrected her but she chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"I'm a member of the Council, an asset for them. You are but a lowly Alpha far down on the food chain. I am above you in all sense of the word, Corvo."
"You're on my property, on my time," I stood. The chair rolled back away from the desk but I didn't take my eyes off the woman in front of my desk. "It's Alpha to you." We danced this waltz every time she showed up at our door, and every time she backed down by the end of the dance and allowed the dip to happen without much struggle.
Lena blinked a couple of times but ultimately moved to sit in one of the chairs.
"You know why I'm here," she changed the subject.
"Same reason for the past two visits," I muttered. "Frankly I'm surprised the Chancellor hasn't given up on his witch hunt. Isn't the drive down here a little tiring? Considering you're unable to shift."
"Given the circumstances of the past couple months, AlphaEdwards, it's only fair for the Chancellor to worry about his assets," Lena argued with a headshake. She ignored my comment about her lack of a wolf with a strained frown and a slight head jerk.
"Circumstances? It's over Lena. L's dead, the Ruby conspiracy is solved. You people can put it to rest once and for all. The newspapers need something new to report on – they're running out of headshots of L," I said. Lena lifted a brow at the crack in my voice at the mention of my dead ex-mate but didn't comment on it. Instead, she allowed her focus to stray around the room. She studied the wall covered entirely of books, and the other with family photos of my siblings and parents before the dynamic was destroyed. One of her eyebrows cocked at the photos but she ultimately returned her gaze to me.
"Your mate-,"
"Ex-mate," I corrected.
"Your ex-mate killed one of the council's most valuable assets and took down two former-pack-leaders-turned-fugitives," Lena said. "The Chancellor is merely worried about your involvement."
"My involvement? What the hell would I have anything to do with it?"
"Oh please, you should know that we know. The council has eyes everywhere. Your little rendezvous with L in the cells? We know why L rejected you," Lena said with a frown. "Made it easier on you, right? Or did you still feel it when she jumped off that cliff? Did your wolf take over – even for a minute?" She leaned forward and pressed her elbows to the desk edge. "Well? And what about Mia? You were close to her and then she betrayed you."
"You have no right to ask how I felt. At least I can feel," I hissed and met her glare. "And Mia is nothing but one of you spineless leeches. It was a mistake believing her for a second."
"The great part about being a part of the Council is that you can't feel anything. When our wolves are ripped from our bodies our emotions go as well," she started. "And getting rid of all that really took a load off my shoulders."
"You're a heartless monster just like the rest of them," I growled, fists clenched and ready. A snake lying in wait for its prey. Zane mentally cowered at the idea of being pried from my head. I didn't blame him; it pained me to think about it as well.
"You flatter me, Corvo. Now if you'd please allow me to get on with my little investigation we can both get on with our lives," she chuckled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Go ahead," I stepped out from behind the desk and went for the door. "You won't find anything." I left the room and shut the door as I exited into the hallway. Outside Mattias stood side by side with Jax who stared down at his phone.
"Sounded friendly," Matty lifted a thick brow. Footsteps came up the main staircase. I followed the sound with my eyes to find Gina skipping up the steps. She gave me a quick smile before taking Matty into an embrace I craved with my own mate. Mattias planted a kiss atop her blonde head and shoved off the wall. He slung an arm around her shoulders, capturing a heap of hair in his hold. Gina exchanged a kiss to his jaw in return for a tight squeeze, bringing her closer with only the use of his arm.
"You have no idea," I rolled my eyes and stalked past them. Jax didn't even look up, eyes wide at whatever was on his phone. And as much as my curiosity dug and picked at my brain I couldn't bear to think about anything else. A mole digging into his home only to hit bedrock. Curiosity only went so far. Soon enough it would run out. Just like will. It runs out like a bottle of painkillers. A falcon shot down from the sky, only to be left tumbling through the grass and brush, a trail of blood left behind. Or maybe a wave crashing into a cliffside. A snake consumed by another of the same species.
*****
"You find anything?" I asked as soon as my office door swung open. A disgruntled, disheveled Lena emerged with nothing in her hands. "No?" I answered for her. She stopped just outside the doorway and lifted her head to look at me. The apple-red pin in her hair had been replaced with a thicker piece of hair since I last saw her an hour ago.
"I thought about something while I looked through your things," she said with a tick at the tip of her tongue. We exchanged a look, one that probably didn't bode as well for her as it did for me, but she kept herself planted regardless. "You ran to the edge of the cliff as if you didn't know L was going to jump," Lena said.
I scowled, half from annoyance and the other with anger, "yeah?"
"You had no idea she was going to jump, did you?" Something related to pity crossed Lena's face for a split second – if I blinked I would have missed it. I didn't want her pity if she even had any to give.
"Of course I didn't," I exasperated and made a move to step around Lena but she sidestepped, holding me in place with her movements. I wanted nothing more than to shove her to the side and fix the office up from the mess she created with her mission to find evidence of my supposed betrayal.
"Then why did you reject her back?" Lena pondered, not removing her eyes from mine. Again, pity seemed to showcase behind the monotonous façade she had over her features, but it only lasted a moment before her emotionless scowl took center stage.
"She told me to," I sighed.
"And you listened? Aren't mates supposed to be in it together for the long run?" Lena crossed over into curiosity, the same kind that could get her killed if she didn't drop the subject.
"As a Councilmember, you will never have any idea what it's like to find your mate."
"For good reason," she huffed. Lena tucked a piece of hair behind her shoulder and stood back straight. "I made my decisions long ago and regret nothing," she added.
"Did you even stop to think about what your wolf wanted?" I shot back, knowing the mention of her since abandoned wolf startled something deep in her gut. "What did you tell her when you had her cut from inside you?" Not a second went by in my day where I thought of abandoning Zane. He was the other half of my brain, a part of me that, without, I wouldn't have anything to live for.
"You wouldn't make a good Councilman, Alpha Edwards," Lena said with a shake of her head. "The great part about not having any emotions is that you're able to look at everything from a rational point of view. No pity, no empathy, no judgment other than a strict order of apathy," she shrugged. Her porcelain pale skin acted like a dull mirror hanging on the wall. It was obvious she hadn't glanced in one lately; the cruel lines around her mouth were sunken from use. For council members, the kill is the best part – they can't help but smile.
"I have no interest."
"A relief, surely," Lena ended the conversation with a quick turn as she went for the stairs. After she moved I finally got a glance at the damage to the office. Papers were strewn on the floor, and several books pulled from the shelves and left wide open on their spines. I cringed at the sight but Lena's voice pulled me from the destruction. "I'll see you in a month, Corvo." She called over her shoulder. I watched Lena's movements as she headed to the stairs, only for her heels to come to an abrupt stop at the top step. Lena wrenched her head around to face me once more. "I told my wolf she wasn't needed anymore."
I could've sworn a laugh came after her words but ringing in my ears kept the last part from processing. Lena descended the stairs quickly, leaving with just as much of an exit as she received upon entering. Nobody at the door. Or at the foot of the stairs. Just her, the front door, and a clear path.
Once the front door slammed shut I retreated into the office with an audible huff. I went straight for the books on the floor and knelt to pick them up. I gathered the books in my hands, smoothing out the spines as I stacked them in my palms. A knock at the open door made me almost lose the stacked books but I grabbed the sides with my free hand.
"Yes?" I called over my shoulder.
"She gone?" Mattias asked.
"Yeah," I said and stood back up with the stack of books balanced against my chest. I walked them back over to the shelves and replaced them back into their distinct openings in random places along the entire wall.
"Did she have anything to say this time?"
"Other than catty insults? I asked her about her wolf."
"Yikes," Mattias' voice shivered. "What'd she say?"
"She talked about the separation as if it were nothing more than a prick in her arm. I can't even imagine giving up Zane."
My wolf purred at my words and settled into the back of my head with a burst of warmth that filled my spine and nerves with a numb feeling.
"Council members are sour when it comes to that topic. I asked a couple after you left with that Mia woman." Mattias snickered. He scooped up papers thrown from the desk and set them on the table in a messy pile with the paper edges in all directions.
"What did you guys end up doing after I left?"
"Besides torment the Council?"
"Hmmmm," I muttered as I straightened files in a drawer pulled almost all the way out. Mattias sunk into one of the armchairs and crossed his legs.
"Considering the people who spend their time at the compound don't have any feelings at all, they don't have a lot of entertainment up there."
"Did you stare at a wall until I showed back up?"
"There were some people from Hematite there so we hung out with them. Cole and Roddy went to bed early, pretty soon after you left, so Luis and I, and the Hematite members went to the bar attached to the restaurant and got a drink."
I grunted in response and, after the room was as tidy as I had the energy for, I slumped into the chair behind the desk and faced my friend who had his head thrown back while staring at the ceiling. His brown hair looped in curls that wrung loose on his scalp. He wore his standard active joggers and a matching sweatshirt of the same storm cloud color, with bright neon shoes that lit up the shaded office. We sat in silence, consumed by the haunting shadows that filled the room. The smell of old books and vanilla folders tucked away in metal filing drawers. I grabbed the abandoned fountain pen on the desk and twirled it between my fingers. It danced in circles, edges blurred.
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I just want to show my appreciation for everyone! Sticking with me through the inconsistent updates and less-than-stellar fillers has given me the confidence to continue!
I love all of you.
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Especially -hickman I love you a lot. Like a lot a lot.
(Go read her stuff. It's fantastic)