a/n !
i'd like to apologize in advance for this long chapter skdjskjdks i kind of get carried away with writing lmao this is why i should never do social media books. so, if you have a 5 second attention span i suggest you just stop reading now
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new article from enews!
just a couple of hours ago, the stars of memories gathered together for their season two premiere and we couldn't be more prouder! right now, they are all currently at the after party, (rightfully) celebrating the amazing success of their tv show.
in particular, fans seem to be swooning over a post made by lucas jade zumann, in which he referred to bela as "pretty" (a common nickname between the two). how cute are they?!
and okay, while we're still totally obsessed with lucela, we must admit, bela and sean giambrone (sela) have also snuck their way into our hearts, as the two of them were spotted multiple times at the premiere together. a reliable source even said they were holding hands at one point!
the photo above, which was captured on the main stage before the season two premiere episode was shown, makes us think that sela MIGHT just be canon. and look at the way they're looking at each other?!
if sela is official, we're beyond stoked for bela! she's been through some tough times with relationships, so whether it is #lucela or #sela , as long as she's happy, we are too.
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spoilers ahead! recap of episode one in the latest season of memories
here's our fav moments from s2e01 of memories
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bela sat inside sean's car, staring blankly at the empty parking lot space in front of her through the front windscreen. it was past midnight when the afterparty for the premiere finished, and sean had suggested that they go to a fast food restaurant to officially end the night of celebrations.
bela smiled. he had even offered to pay. sean was good to her, he really was. but as much as she tried to convince herself that she was happy with him, she suddenly found her eyes wet with tears, with a sinking feeling in her heart and a thick lump at the base of her throat. she hadn't even noticed that she was crying.
her feet had also begun to hurt, and she decided to take off her heels to alleviate the pain. through her blurred, wet eyes, she noticed a figure walk out of the fast food restaurant and she quickly wiped her face just as sean opened his car door to enter.
"okay, i got us some─ hey, what's wrong?" he asked tenderly, cautiously placing the bag of food on the divider between them.
"hm? no, nothing's wrong," bela said, feigning nonchalance as she smiled at him.
"you're crying," he pointed out.
she opened her mouth to speak and the thick lump in her throat made her choke on her words. she coughed. "it's nothing," she whispered, shaking her head.
"bela, you know you can tell me anything," he said.
bela forced a wider smile this time, and without any thought, she leaned over, attaching her lips to his. to bela, the kiss felt soft, warm and innocent, and full of instant regret.
after a while, sean pulled back with a hearty grin etched on his face, but upon seeing her hesitant expression, his smile dropped. "you felt nothing, didn't you," he uttered disappointedly.
bela looked at him, and she felt herself drown in immense guilt. "you're the greatest guy i've ever met," she blurted, trying to somehow fix the situation. he looked at her strangely and she sighed. "sean ... you are so kind and genuine and smart, and for god's sake you know kermit memes. you can make me laugh for hours on end with your stupid puns and geeky humor. and i love that about you! i love everything about you. but i don't know, i─"
"you just don't love me," sean finished.
bela shook her head. "no, i just─"
"it's okay, bela," he said.
she sighed, turning her head and staring at the empty space in front of her. "no, it's not," she mumbled in a daze.
"look, bela. i like you. a lot. and i want nothing more than to be with you, but just not like this. not when you're clearly crying over the boy you're in love with," sean said.
bela snapped her head towards him, her brows knitting together in confusion. her lips were parted, ready to object when sean interrupted her. "come on, bela. don't lie to me. you're in love with lucas," he said simply, looking at her with knowing eyes.
she shook her head weakly, tiredly closing her eyes as she slouched back in her seat. "can we not talk about lucas? do you think we can just─ just sit here ... for a while? and not talk? can you do that?" she mumbled sleepily.
sean looked over at the girl next to him. she seemed so calm as her chest softly rose and fell with each small breath she took. right in front of him, he saw entire galaxies and constellations and whole universes filled with endless possibilities, all embodied in one small girl with short brown hair and a smile that could light up the night sky. and he asked himself if he could let all that go. if he could let her go, so that she could be happy.
"yeah, i can do that," he whispered, and he didn't know if he was answering her, or himself.
. . .
bela's eyes slowly opened. beyond the front windscreen of the car, she noticed that she was no longer in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant, but instead on an empty suburban road.
"what?" she murmured, still not fully conscious yet. "sean, where are w─" she abruptly stopped as her eyes landed on the house to the right of her, and she began to panic.
"before you say anything, no, i'm not some crazy stalker. i got his address off finn," sean suddenly said.
"what? ... why did you bring me here, sean?" she asked defeatedly. "what are you doing?"
"i'm not doing anything," he said calmly. "you, on the other hand, are going to tell lucas you love him."
she was breathing heavily, her eyes wide with terror. "sean─"
he exhaled in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "come on bela, please. do this for me. i know that's a strange request, coming from someone who is kind of in love with you, but─ well, it doesn't matter. because you and i could never be real. not the kind of real that you and lucas have, anyway. and that's okay, bela. it really is okay," he reassured.
she paused for a brief moment. "why can't i just be in love with you?" she suddenly whined. "everything would be so much easier if i was just in love with you. you're a good guy. why don't i want to be with a good guy?" she murmured in disbelief.
he chuckled. "why do you want things to be easy? you're not in love with me because i don't challenge you the way lucas does. and believe it or not, that makes him the better guy. the better guy for you, anyway."
"challenge me?" bela asked incredulously. "oh, lucas does more than just challenge me. he angers me. he makes me so mad. he's so obstinate and argumentative and set in his stupid ways ─ and he's so stubborn!"
"hm, reminds me of someone else," sean remarked under his breath.
bela glared at him, deciding to ignore his little comment. she continued: "every time we argue, i just want to punch his throat, among other areas of his body ... preferably in the lower region. he's just so annoying. and difficult. and his stupid face is so stupid and i hate─ i really hate the fact that─"
"that you're in love with him?" sean finished, a small, slightly forced smirk playing on his features.
she paused for a long time, and then finally nodded her head. "fine. i guess. i know, i talk about wanting to punch the boy i'm in love with. nothing about this makes sense," she muttered.
sean shook his head. "you love him, and that doesn't always have to make proper sense. sometimes, things are just the way they are. no explanation needed," he said.
she sighed. "it's too late, anyway. i fucked up. he called me a coward and he was right. he was right about everything. and now i've lost him," she breathed.
"you haven't lost him. he's less than 100 feet away from you in that house, right now. and now you're going to do three things for me. one, you're going to stop feeling sorry for yourself. two, you're going to stop looking at me with guilt like i'm some broken, fragile puppy who can't handle a little heartbreak, and three ... you're going to get out of my car, and you're going to get him. please don't make the mistake of hiding your true feelings, bela," he said.
"mistake..." bela murmured out loud, her eyes widening.
"what?" sean said.
"i'll never know if it actually was a mistake unless i make the mistake. unless i take that risk. and even if i end up regretting it, at least i'll know..." she said, almost in recitation. a warm, understanding smile washed over her face. "i think i know now."
"what do you mean?" sean asked.
"i think you were the mistake i had to make before i realized what had been standing right in front of me the whole time," she murmured. his eyes narrowed, and she quickly shook her head. "oh, no, i'm sorry, that wasn't meant to sound as harsh as it did. i'm so sorry, sean. i never meant to hurt you. i wish there was something i could do─"
he smiled sympathetically. "there is something you can do. get out of my god damn car. and if you don't do that in less than 10 seconds, i will kick you out myself, scream 'lucas zumann' so loudly that the entire neighborhood wakes up, and then i will drive off and leave you here to explain to his parents why you're standing alone outside their house at three in the morning in a sparkling dress, with no shoes and smudged makeup on your face," he jokingly asserted.
bela laughed loudly, smiling at him. she lightly placed her hand on his, and her kind eyes crinkled in sadness. "thank you," she whispered, leaning over to kiss his cheek before she opened the car door to leave.
"hey," bela suddenly said, turning around. "you won't actually drive off, will you? what if things don't work out between lucas and i? you can't just leave me."
"it will," sean said quietly; reluctantly.
bela exhaled loudly, nodding her head. "okay. i guess i'm doing this then ... oh, and, um, sean? mind if i grab a few fries?" she asked hesitantly, nervously raising her eyebrows.
sean let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. "just take the whole damn bag," he said, laughing when bela eagerly reached into the car window and snatched the brown bag from his grip. he watched her walk away, and his expression immediately hardened. "i wasn't even that hungry, anyway," he murmured.
and when he drove home, he sat in his car the entire night, looking up at the night sky above him through the window screen of his car. he could no longer see entire galaxies and constellations and whole universes filled with endless possibilities. all he saw was pitch black.
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lucas zumann received a new message from bela king!
bela king
i never said no
lucas zumann
what?
bela king
you told me you'd stop chasing me if i said no.
if i told you i didn't want to be with you.
but i never said no
lucas zumann
what?
you walked away from me. i think that's a pretty clear indication that you don't want to be with me.
bela king
okay but someone once told me that actions mean nothing and that words are far more sincere and real
and lucas
i never said no.
lucas zumann
i'm confused
bela king
of course you are
lucas zumann
do you really think now is the time to be attacking me because i am grouchy and i will fight you
bela king
but i've done nothing wrong !!!! :(
lucas zumann
you broke my heart for like the hundredth time and now you've woken me up from my sleep??
try again.
bela king
how could i have woken you up when you replied to my first message like 2 seconds after i sent it???
lucas zumann
okay fine i wasn't sleeping.
i can't sleep.
and you want to know why?
bela king
i'm assuming it has something to do with the whole "breaking your heart for the hundredth time" thing
which, by the way
HUNDRED? come on now
that's pushing it a bit
lucas zumann
what do you want, bela
bela king
come outside
lucas zumann
outside where?
bela king
outside your house
lucas zumann
why would i do that?
bela king
i'm sitting on your front porch
lucas zumann
what
bela it's 3 in the morning what are you doing outside my house
bela king
please
just come outside
lucas zumann
okay fine
bela king
jesus you're really not that hard to persuade
lucas zumann
i'm not going to just leave you outside my house in the cold
contrary to popular belief, i'm not an asshole.
i'm actually a nice guy
bela king
i was gonna suggest that you're just really whipped for me but i mean
nice guy works too
lucas zumann
bela i swear to fucking god
bela king
just come outside what's taking you so long
lucas zumann
the fact that i have to walk down my creaky ass stairs in the dark in order to not wake my parents because it is THREE IN THE MORNING ???
bela king
you're like 18
maybe you should consider moving out to avoid situations like these
lucas zumann
are we really going to be discussing my INDEPENDENCE as a young adult ??? right fucking now ?
bela king
ur sassy at night ooft
lucas zumann
technically it's morning.
and i will throw you across my front lawn i swear to god
bela king
i'm pretty sure that's assault
i think you can go to jail for assault
lucas zumann
i know
bela king
wow okay go off sis lol!!!
i must've hurt you really bad
lucas zumann
yeah. you did.
read 3:14am
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the front door squeaked open as lucas quietly exited his house, closing the door painfully slowly behind him. he tiptoed off his front porch, quietly walking towards bela who was sitting on the pavement, her heels in one hand and the brown bag of food in the other.
he hesitantly approached her, clearing his throat as she turned around, startled once she saw him. he joined her on the pavement, awkwardly tucking his legs towards his chest.
"want a fry?" she blurted suddenly, offering him the brown bag.
"uh, no thanks," he replied dubiously. his eyebrows then furrowed. "how did you even get those, anyway? how did you even get here? weren't you with sean when the afterparty finished? where is he?"
bela gulped. "he's not with me ... anymore," she said quietly.
he cocked his head to the side. "what do you─ oh," he breathed. "wait, so does that mean─"
"yeah," she said simply, placing the bag of food along with her heels on the pavement next to her. a cold gush of wind swept through the air and she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm.
lucas, in a grey sweater and black shorts, remained still. "so ... is that it, then?" he asked pointedly. "did you just come here to offer me some fries and tell me you ended your thing with sean? because that doesn't change anything, bela. it doesn't change what you said, and it─"
"i know! believe me, i know. i just want to say that i'm sorry for everything i did. i mean it. look, it wasn't exactly my decision to come to your house at three in the morning, believe me, but since i'm here, i might as well get this over and done with," she huffed.
"wow, you sure know how to work an apology," lucas muttered.
bela exhaled. "okay, okay, you're right. i'm terrible at doing stuff like this, and you know why? it's because i've never had to apologize for being such a shitty person before. because no one has ever called me out for being such a shitty person before. until you," she said.
"didn't amandla once call you out for being a shitty person?" lucas piped in.
bela glared at him. "you're really ruining the effect right now, buddy. i'm trying to have an intimate, heart-to-heart moment with you."
he nodded understandingly. "right. got it," he said.
"look, you were right. i was scared. i was a coward, and i still am. it's just that i had built up these walls because of peyton and then when you started tearing them down with your annoying charms and our stupid deep conversations that made me fall in love with you, i panicked. it's why i lashed out at you. and i know that's not an excuse for what i did, but at least it's an explanation," she said.
lucas sat stunned, his vision constantly dazing in and out of focus. he turned his head toward her. "wait ... you're in love with me?" he asked incredulously.
she stared at him. "um, yes, yes i am. so ... yeah, i came to offer you some fries, tell you i ended my thing with sean, and also tell you that i love you. that's all i guess. it's nothing serious. totally just cool. no big deal at all," she awkwardly blabbered on, her tone a few octaves higher than usual.
lucas stared at her, his furrowed brows and parted lips unmoving from its position.
bela suddenly stood up, bringing her two fingers to her temple as she flicked her wrist and smiled sheepishly at him.
did i really just salute him?
she mentally slapped herself, too embarrassed by what she had just done to grab her heels or the brown bag. she spun around on the ball of her foot, speed-walking down the street.
"wait, where are you going?" lucas asked, standing up as bela turned back around.
"i just assumed you didn't want to talk to me anymore. o-or ever again, for that matter. w-which is completely fair," she nervously stuttered.
"so what, you're just going to make a big speech proclaiming your undying love for me, give me a weird military salute and then ... walk home? in the cold? at three in the morning?" he asked, sarcasm laced in his cocky tone.
bela's lips parted. "uh, duh. of course. that was totally the plan ... and by the way, my love for you isn't undying, okay? if anything, it's definitely dying. it's like a squirrel, i-if that squirrel ran onto the road and got hit by a car and then slowly started to lose consciousness until it finally drew its last breath and passed away p-peacefully," she replied. she had awkwardly trailed off at the last few words once she realized her snarky attitude did not play out well.
lucas stifled a laugh, instead shaking his head in utter amusement. "god, you are so strange. how am i even in love with you?" he murmured.
"you're still in love with me?" she asked, slightly shocked.
he sighed. "look, you put me through absolute hell, bela. you've been nothing but cruel to me. you're annoying, stubborn, and you're so clueless half the time i have no idea how you even graduated high school. seriously, you're absolutely unbearable. and you don't appreciate any of my doctor puns, even though they're really good─"
"they're not," she muttered under her breath. he narrowed his eyes at her, and she put her hands up defensively. "sorry, continue, please," she said.
"and you always interrupt me! a-and have i mentioned you're annoying and unbearable? and even though i have every reason to hate you right now ... i-i can't. because even though your annoying, stubborn face rejected me like 100 times and left me heartbroken, i never gave up. i didn't want to, because i didn't want to give you up. i wanted to be selfish, just this once," lucas said, his voice slightly breathless.
bela smiled softly as she slowed walked closer towards lucas. "we are such a mess, aren't we," she remarked, sighing heavily as she stopped in front of him. "why does everything always have to be so complicated and scary and weird when it comes to us?" she asked.
lucas chuckled. "i don't know. but when i'm with you, everything feels ... less scary and weird. complicated, on the other hand, is a whole different thing," lucas said, stepping even closer to bela.
"you're right. you and i are so complicated. too complicated, even. it would never work out," she playfully teased, leaning her head closer towards his.
lucas nodded lazily, lingering for a moment until, finally, he pressed his lips against hers. he felt her body immediately loosen as she snaked her arms around his neck. his hands found her waist, firmly holding onto her as the kiss deepened and he felt her warm skin radiate off of her onto him. and finally, finally, it felt right.
they both pulled apart, their shaky breaths uneven as they laughed quietly. he pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "i love you, bela. with every fibre of my being. and i don't think there could be any other universe or version of reality in which i wouldn't fall in love with you. it's always going to be you. always," he whispered.
she kissed him again. "i love you too, lucas."
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a/n !
you may be wondering,, 'anna, why the hell would you make lucela have a huge fight in one chapter and then resolve everything in the FOLLOWING chapter?'
and the answer is ,,,,,, idk
perhaps i like angst ???
lol tbh i have no idea why i do what i do i guess y'all are just gonna have to deal with it