Zoe was in a car with Benjamin Pavard. Zoe was in a car with Benjamin Pavard. Zoe was in a car with Benjamin Pavard.
She was mostly sober now, but everything still seemed a bit slow. It was a nice car, a sleek convertible that was oh so typical of rich footballers. Benjamin seemed at place behind the steering wheel, with one arm slung over the back of Zoe's seat.
"So where should I take you?" Ben asked. Zoe tilted her head back and shut her eyes for a second. She gripped the bottom of the leather seat.
"Uh, my parents house?" Zoe said, but it came out as more of a question. Ben pulled out of the parking space, and gave Zoe a questioning look.
"Do you have a key?"
"No?" Zoe answered. She raised an eyebrow. "My parents should be home, though."
Ben gave Zoe another look. Jesus, what was with people and looking at her?
"Your parents aren't home."
"How do you know that?" she shot Ben another accusatory glance. Zoe rolled down the window to take a breath of fresh air. The wind nipped at her skin, and she loved it. She missed home. Or her parents house. She missed a sense of belonging. She certainly didn't belong in Ben's car, that was for sure.
"Your brother told me."
"You still talk to Mathieu?"
"Of course I do." He laughed and drummed his fingers on Zoe's seat. Zoe could get used to that laugh; it was all encompassing, melodic. Like a lullaby. "He's my best friend. I told him I was coming up to Maubeuge, and I asked if he would mind if I stopped by to see Emma and Paul, and he said they want to visit your aunt Madeleine or something."
Oh, crap, Ben was right. Her mother's sister, Maddy, was sick. It wasn't like she was dying, but familial company would definitely soothe her spirits. She remembered her mother telling her something like that a couple weeks ago, but Zoe wasn't really paying any attention. She hated talking on the phone.
"And by the way you look right now, I'm assuming you didn't know."
Zoe let out a short laugh, tucking a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. "Uh, I knew, I just forgot."
"Do you have a key?"
Zoe blushed. What she was trying to avoid that entire night. "Um... no?"
Ben stared for a moment. "Well, how are you supposed to get inside? Should I just take you to Margot's?"
Zoe pondered her options for a moment. She could stop by Margot's to see if she was there, but Zoe highly doubted it. There was no way Margot would try to take back Lucas to her house to have sex. And Margot's parents weren't home either, as that was one of the main reasons they wanted Margot to live in Lille; because they wanted to travel Europe without the baggage that was Margot. It sucked, but that was the truth.
"No," I told him. "I think I should just wait for Margot back at Noelle's. It's easier that way. And I could just sleep over there, for free."
There was no stigma against passing out at a party. Zoe wanted to take full advantage of that.
"No, I don't wanna go back to Noelle's and I don't want you by yourself there. Especially after what happened with Jacques."
Frowning, Zoe crossed her arms over her chest. "Nothing happened with Jacques."
"Sure," Ben said, in a way that meant he was not at all convinced.
Zoe took a deep breath. And Ben did have a point, but she didn't want to tell him that. There was nothing worse than a man who was convinced he was right. Zoe's head began to throb, and she leaned her head out the window once more to get fresh air. A soft song played on the radio, and it felt like she was in a movie. She was in a car with a boy she had feelings for once, long ago, with a beautiful song playing and the wind in her hair. She was lost, without a plan, but it felt good. Or as good as it could feel with a headache coming on.
"What's up with you and Noelle, anyway?" Zoe found herself asking. "Weren't you guys a thing in lycée?"
Ben shook his head, and a grim smile appeared on his lips. "She wanted us to be a thing then, she wants us to be a thing now. Never gonna happen. Besides, I—" he stopped himself, and cleared his throat. "Yeah. It's not gonna happen."
Zoe watched him, silent for a few moments. She wanted to press him, but she didn't want to go too far. This was the first time she'd seen him in such a long time, the first time she'd seen him in person, and she didn't want to ruin it by being nosy. So Zoe settled into her seat, tucking a single leg beneath her, and resting her hands in her lap.
"You know, I almost didn't recognize you. I saw you earlier in the party, and I thought who is this cute girl—"
"No you did not—"
"— And then Noelle dragged me upstairs, and then you came in all drunk and then I knew for sure it was you, but you left, and I heard you talking to Jacques and like, I wasn't gonna let you go with him. So I got over there and saved you."
Zoe scoffed at that, laughter bubbling in her throat. "Saved me! What are you, my knight in shining armor?"
It almost seemed like Ben was flirting with her, but Zoe wasn't going to get her hopes up like that with him. She knew that all Ben would ever see her as was Mathieu's younger sister, the annoyance that always pestered to play with them, the little snitch. And yeah, she may have gone through puberty, but Ben had known her for way too long and had seen way too many embarrassing moments.
"Only if you want me to be."
"Ugh!" Zoe couldn't help but laugh. "You're laying it on thick, aren't you?"
Ben glanced at Zoe out of the corner of his eye. "I'm just trying to keep you on your toes, you know? Can't have you falling asleep on me."
"Where are you even taking me?" Zoe hoped that Ben wasn't just driving aimlessly. She got motion sick easily.
Ben bit his lip, trying to stop his smile. "So, you live in Lille, right?"
"How do you know—" Zoe stopped herself. "Mathieu?"
Ben nodded. "I don't know why you're so surprised."
"I just forget that you guys are so close. He never talks about you to me, so it's weird that he talks about me to you."
"Yeah, he never talks about me to you because he doesn't want to reignite that fat crush you had on me."
If Zoe had water, she'd be spitting it out.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play coy with me! Mathieu and I read your diary."
Zoe's blue eyes widened in shock, and she did the first thing that came to mind: she leaned over and punched Ben in the shoulder. It caused him to swerve the car, causing Zoe to scream. Evidently, it did not hurt because Ben just laughed. And Zoe loved his laugh. He laughed unabashedly, wholeheartedly, and with his eyes.
"I haven't kept a diary since I was ten!"
"Yeah, that was when we read it."
"You ass!"
"You love my ass," Ben said, tossing Zoe a wink. It was actually super embarrassing that Ben had read her diary, but she couldn't even bring herself to care at that moment. It was eight years ago. Surely Ben doesn't think that Zoe still had a crush on him— too much time had passed.
"So. Lille. You don't have your keys, or your phone, you can't go to Margot's house, and I'm not letting you stay the night at Noelle's. Where does that leave us?"
"I could—"
"Nope. Wrong answer."
"You didn't even—"
"Well, what were you going to say, wise one?" Ben asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He tilted his head, questioningly. Zoe scoffed.
"I was going to say I could stay at Gabin's apartment until Margot came."
"Gabin? Who's Gabin?"
Zoe frowned. "Margot's boyfriend."
"I thought Margot was hooking up with Lucas?"
"She is." Zoe ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "That's what are our argument was about."
"You guys got into an argument?"
"Not the point! What's the right answer?" Zoe glared at him. She didn't want to rehash the fight with Margot because then she would remember all the nasty things Margot said about her and Ben. Or, mostly Zoe. Margot had a way of hitting people where it hurt and it worked.
"Okay, okay!" Ben gave in. "Come to Paris with me."
Silence. Then, laughter.
"You're joking, right? This is a joke." Zoe couldn't imagine why Ben would want to drive all the way to Paris with her. She didn't even know why he helped her with Jacques, why he offered her a ride. They weren't really anything, back when he would go over to her house to hang out with Mathieu. Zoe wasn't allowed to talk to any of Mathieu's friends, per Mathieu's orders. And it wasn't like Ben saw Zoe go through puberty or anything. The last image Ben had of Zoe was an awkward, oily haired, acne prone twelve year old. If Zoe were Ben, she'd tell herself to fuck right off.
"Why would I be joking?" Ben asked. And when Zoe looked at him, he actually looked confused. As if he hadn't had a clue why Zoe would think he was joking.
"Because I'm— you— we haven't seen each other in so long, Ben. What could we possibly do in Paris?"
"I have a hotel room there. You could spend the night—"
"Are you propositioning me?"
Ben's face burned a bright red, even Zoe could see it in the dark of the night. "No, no, no. If you come with me, to Paris, I could watch over you. Take care of you. Mathieu would kill me if anything happened to you at Noelle's, and he knows I was there."
Zoe frowned. The tiny part of her, the tiny twelve year old part of her, was secretly hoping that he actually had been propositioning her. It was better that he wasn't, anyway. Margot was probably right. He probably had a beautiful blonde, blue eyed model girlfriend waiting for him back in Monaco, where he now lived when he wasn't in Germany.
"That makes sense."
"I always make sense."
Ignoring that, Zoe continued: "I have to be back to Lille by Sunday night. I have a really important meeting Monday morning."
"Relax, you'll be back by tonight."
Zoe sank in her seat. "That's what Margot said, and now I'm on my way to Paris."
Ben glanced over at her, tossing her one of his trademark smiles. Zoe didn't fall for the bait, and she turned her head to hide her grin.
"Yeah, but you're going to Paris with me."
Ben reached forward, turning the radio up. He sang badly along to the song that was playing, one of those stereotypical songs about falling in love with a beautiful girl, and Zoe loved every second of it.
**
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