"There's no way around grief and loss: you can dodge all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and hopefully come out the other side. The wold you find there will never be the same as the world you left." -Johnny Cash
♥♥♥
♪Listening suggestion: Let Her Go by Passenger
----------
After school, at the agency. (Y/N)'s POV
School could not be over soon enough. I rushed back as fast my legs would carry me and locked myself in our room.
Kaito and Nachika jerked their heads up at my sudden entry.
"Is something wrong?" Nachika asked.
"Everything is wrong!" I exclaimed, tears threatening to choke me. However, I didn't want to go into explaining. Telling them what had happened between Shoto and Taega would only make me feel like I was reliving it. Besides, I could tell by their faces that the they both already knew.
"Is there any way I could go away for a while?" I asked quietly, looking at Kaito and Nachika for an answer. "I just . . . don't think I can go to school right now and act like everything's okay, and act all happy for Taega when she's here with us. I just. . ." I lost it, putting an end to my words.
Maybe I was overreacting. I'd told myself I was over and over during the past two weeks. But when I really thought about it, I thought I was handling it pretty well. It's not just that Shoto's got a girlfriend. It's also because it's Taega, someone I know would never give him the love he deserved; the love I could give him. Not only that, but she's the very worst person I've ever come across, and I don't know if I've ever hated anyone as much as I hate her.
I felt Nachika's arms around me. The small act of love made me cry even harder.
"There's a mission I was gonna leave for this afternoon," Kaito said. "It's not one that requires the whole squad, but you're welcome to come with me."
I sniffled a little. "What's the mission and where is it?"
"It's in Nagasaki and we're just tracking a suspect. We just have to follow him for a few days."
"That doesn't sound like you would need my help," I said. "Could I maybe just go instead of you? The bosses need you here a lot anyway."
He thought on it for a minute or so. "I don't know . . . sending you into a city like that all by yourself? Seems kinda dangerous."
"Kaito, I can do it! I know how to protect myself."
Nachika glanced at Kaito. "Let her do it. I believe in her, and so do you."
"Well, okay, but please promise me you'll be extra careful." Kaito stood up and walked towards the door. "Ever since Riku left, I became our team leader, so I'd be responsible if anything happens. If the suspect turns out to be the prime suspect, I'll be getting on the nearest train."
I nodded. "I promise. Sounds like a plan."
"Okay," he said. "I'll tell one of the officials that you're going in my stead. I'll also get them to alter your chip's location." He strode out the door.
"Just don't do anything reckless," Nachika warned.
"I won't." I went to my bed and lay down on it, phone in my hands. "I'll tell my friends and teachers that I won't be in school for a while."
----------
After school, Shoto's POV
I would be lying if I said all my friends agreed with my dating Taega. Actually, the only person that was for it was Bakugo. Uraraka, Iida, Kirishima, and especially Midoriya disagreed strongly.
Even myself . . . I was beginning to question what it was I'd gotten myself into. After just one day, I was exhausted. Taega gave me absolutely no breathing space, and she was with me all the time. Right now, I was hiding in one of the cleaning closets at U.A. so Taega wouldn't find me and take me on a walk around the park.
This isn't what I thought a relationship would be like, I thought.
Suddenly the door to the closet swung wide open. It was so close to giving me a heart attack that I accidently released a blast of icy air from my right hand and foot.
With hair and eyelashes frosted, Bakugo spat, "FOUND HIM! What's a dumbass like you doing in here?!"
"Todoroki, we were looking for you!" Iida said, grasping my hand and helping me out of the closet.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm hiding from Taega."
"Your girlfriend?" Kirishima huffed. "You okay, man?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Oh dear, that wasn't very convincing, was it Deku?" Uraraka said, standing near Midoriya.
"Hey, what happened to that one chick?" Kirishima asked. "(Y/N), the one that used to hang out with us all the time? "
I said nothing.
Midoriya pushed his way to me. "You seem sad, Todoroki . . . tell us what's wrong, we're all here for you." Uraraka, Kirishima, and Iida nodded in agreement.
I looked around at them, wondering what I should tell them. However, my tongue didn't wait.
"I feel like I made a mistake."
Iida cleared his throat. "You need to tell us more. Why do you feel that way?"
"You're not in love with Taega, are you?" Midoriya asserted. "She just pulled you into this relationship, didn't she?"
"What about (Y/N)?!" Kirishima demanded. "Everyone's ignoring me!"
"I don't even know what love is," I admitted, my gaze on the floor.
Bakugo scoffed. "Oh please, love is you and Deku. He's the only one you listen to, geez." With that, he left the group and vanished down the hall.
Uraraka rolled her eyes. "That's just rubbish."
"I texted (Y/N) today," I continued, completely ignoring Bakugo. "She said she didn't thing it was right for her to text me, since I have Taega now."
"She has a point actually," Iida agreed. "I think you should be asking yourself why you're wanting to text (Y/N), when you should be texting Taega."
"The thing is, I actually felt a little stunned when she told me it didn't feel right to text me. Besides, she was also acting a little weird, but she said she was fine when I asked if she was okay. She didn't even open my last message."
"Sounds like you're worried about her," Uraraka observed.
Actually, Uraraka was right. I was worried I might've done something to hurt her. I wanted to text or call her, but I wasn't sure if she'd reply. I thought of the last message I sent and cringed. What have I gotten myself into?
Just then, Bakugo returned with his phone in his hands.
"Apparently (Y/N)'s gonna be gone for like two or three weeks. Mikura just texted me."
Wait, you have Mikura's number too?! we all thought.
"She's going to Nagasaki for something," he finished. However, he didn't take his eyes off the screen.
All of the sudden, I felt a strange kind of loneliness in my heart. I'd never felt this way before, and I didn't like it. Nagasaki for a few weeks?
"Did she tell you when she was leaving?" Iida asked.
"She's headed to the train station now," Bakugo responded.
I felt shook. But . . . I don't really want you to go, (Y/N). "Excuse me, guys," I said to my friends, "I gotta go." With that, I pushed my way through the groups of students in the hall way, running out of the school as fast as I could.
----------
Midoriya's POV
No one seemed to draw the conclusion between Kacchan's news and Todoroki's reaction, except for me and maybe Uraraka.
Kirishima began talking to Kacchan, and Iida headed to the office, but I watched Todoroki as he disappeared, filled with a new sense of urgency. He's so in love with (Y/N), yet he's only now realizing it.
Uraraka came up beside me. "Weird isn't it?" she said, watching in the same direction.
I looked at her. "What is?"
"You know. . . how you can't tell how much you really love someone, until you can't have them anymore." She was talking about how he'd entered a relationship already.
"Yeah. . ."
----------
A few minutes later, at the train station. (Y/N)'s POV
I waited patiently as my train took its time to arrive.
I grasped the handle of my suitcase with one hand, and secured my violin on my shoulder with my other. During my stay in Nagasaki, I planned on maintaining my sonata, and polishing it up so it would sound its best come the competition.
Presently, my train arrived and I fell into file with the rest of the passengers. Once on board, I took a seat near a window and put in my headphones.
Suddenly, my head shot up. I thought I'd heard someone call my name. Nah, I decided. I didn't know what that was.
I had almost turned on my music when I heard it again. I was certain this time.
I stood up and looked around the train, then out the window. At first, I wasn't sure if I was seeing correctly. Shoto?
He fell silent when he saw me already on the train. He gave me a small smile that was of both relief and embarrassment.
I waved a little and gave him a confused smile. What are you doing here?
He pulled out his phone and began to type something on it.
I opened our chat when I felt his vibration pattern.
I'm sorry I just wanted to say goodbye
Mikura texted Bakugo and said you were leaving
I hardly knew what to say. Why was he here? All by himself, without his friends, and without Taega? No matter the reason, it warmed my heart like nothing else.
Yeah sorry for the short notice and not telling you myself. I won't be in school for a few weeks
The train started moving, making me wish it would wait just one minute. I leaned closer to the window to keep Shoto in my sights for as long as possible. Hold on, hold on. . .
His reply came shortly.
I'll miss you
I saw the message, then watched him as the train pulled away from the station. He gave me a small smile as he waved. His figure began to diminish fast.
I waved back until I could no longer see him. Then I sat down again, and looked over our chat again.
I came across the message he had sent during class after I had put my phone away. It was the last message he sent before I'd started crying.
Can we just forget about Taega for now? I don't want you to stop being my friend
----------
Love is complicated. Scratch that - people are complicated.
Well, that's another chapter to add to the list! Hopefully I'm not moving this too fast. . . but this was already chapter 18. Anyway, I've been trying to slow the process.
Thank you readers!