"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." ― Kahlil Gibran
"Did I have to dress like this?" Julian mumbled as he fixed his collar on the black blazer he had on.
"Yes," Mark typed on his phone as the elevator started rising upwards. "If you really want this to happen Julian, you need to be as professional as possible in these situations, or they won't take you seriously."
Julian let out a sigh, shifting from foot to foot, being both nervous and excited. He had finished the first half of his European tour, and was allowed a little break before he started the second half. So Mark was able to set up a meeting with Julian's label to talk about him finally being able to come out.
"What if they say no?" Julian asked with worry clear in his tone, looking at Mark while chewing on his bottom lip anxiously.
Mark frowned softly and turned to him, holding both his shoulders firmly. "Julian, I will do whatever it takes to convince them that it's okay for you to be out. That it's okay for you to be gay," he said softly but seriously. Mark knew having to hide this big part of him for so long tore Julian up inside. So he needed to be told that there was nothing wrong with him.
Julian just threw his arms around Mark in a tight hug, whispering, "thank you."
"I won't let you see yourself as anything less than what you truly are Julian." Mark mumbled, rubbing his back affectionately.
He loved that he had Mark through all of this. Julian had never really been close with his parents, since they didn't approve of his career choice that much. So it was nice to have a fatherly figure to give him advice and to tell him everything will be okay.
When the Elevator dinged they broke apart and turned to face the doors as they opened up. Julian walked out with Mark right behind him.
Julian stopped in front of the door to the meeting room and hesitated on going inside. A hand coming down on his shoulder startled him out his trance. He looked back at Mark, who's face held nothing but support and pride for Julian.
Mark nodded his head, silently telling Julian that he could do this.
With a deep breath in and out, Julian opened the door, and walked inside.
~
Nova didn't really know what to do while Julian had gone to his meeting with Mark. He hadn't really had a lot of time to himself since he's been with Julian. They were really always together.
Also, he was anxious to know the outcome of the meeting, so he was currently just pacing the room of the hotel. Biting on the tip of his thumb of one of his hands while the other fell at his side, his fingers twitching slightly.
"Things will go fine," Nova mumbled to himself as he continued to pace.
"You need to get out of here."
Nova turned to look at Jack who had been sitting on the couch, watching him the whole time with an annoyed and bored look on his face. He had called Jack to come over to his room because he hadn't really liked just sitting in silence, so he thought that at least the presence of someone else would help him better.
"I'm fine." Nova said immediately, stopping in front of Jack. With Jack's raised eyebrow, he answered as confidently as he could, "I am, I'm just bored."
Jack chuckled softly, tipping his head back with a roll of his eyes. "Nova, come on, we both know I can tell when your lying."
Nova sighed and walked closer to him, falling down next to Jack on the couch. He leaned forward, his head between his knees as he ran his hands through his hair. He tried to calm down his fast beating heart and get his harsh breathing under control.
A hand rested on his back and rubbed soft circles into it, making Nova sit up to find Jack watching with concern clear in his eyes.
"Nova, did you remember to take your medicine this morning?" Jack asked gently, not removing his hand.
Nova had a flashback to Jack doing this before, remembering the feeling of his soothing hand. He shook out of those thoughts quickly, not wanting to remember why he had gotten that way in the first place.
"I think I did."
Jack removed his hand, getting up and walking over to the bathroom, where he knew Nova had put his pills. He remembered the trick Nova used to do when they lived together. If the pill bottle had it's capped side down against the sink then it meant he hadn't taken his pill.
Sure enough, when Jack got to the bathroom, he saw the bottle, cap side down. He grabbed it and walked back out to Nova, who was watching with curious and surprised eyes.
"You forgot to take it this morning," Jack said handing him the bottle before going to get him a glass of water to take it with. "I'm surprised." He spoke while he turned on the tap, "Doesn't Julian usually remind you?"
Nova swallowed hard before answering, "he had to go to that meeting really early remember?"
"Right," Jack said simply, walking back over to Nova and handing him the glass. He sat back down next to Nova and kept his eyes trained on him as he popped the pill into his mouth and took a drink of water with it.
Nova could feel his eyes the whole time and it for some reason, made him able to feel the pill travel all the way down. "Thanks," he said softly.
Jack waved off his thanks, "I would rather you be calm than an anxious mess. Which is why I suggested that we get out of here." He leaned closer into Nova and in-turn, Nova leaned back a little away from him. Jack pretended to notice, even though it sent a flicker of anger through him.
"The more you sit here, the more you'll be worried and thinking not stop about it. You need distraction Nova, so let's go out."
Nova watched him carefully, his hands resting on his knees. "This isn't like some sort of way to trick me into a date is it?"
Jack raised both eyebrows at the accusation and shook his head with a snort, "Nova, I respect your relationship with Julian."
"Even if you don't agree with it." Nova fired back, watching Jack's reaction to his words closely.
Jack sighed deeply, "it's not that I don't agree with it Nova. I just never figured you to be one of those people who's okay with hiding the fact that their gay."
"I'm not." Nova answered, tapping his fingers irritably against his thigh. "But I love Julian enough to wait for him to be comfortable with coming out."
"He seems to be more uncomfortable with the idea of coming out rather than keeping it to himself."
"You don't know anything about him." Nova defended his boyfriend instantly, standing up. "And if you just came over to criticize my relationship then you can leave."
Jack looked up at Nova for once, before standing up himself. "Nova, I"m sorry, I didn't meant to upset you," he spoke sincerely.
Nova pursed his lips, unsure, just turning his head to look at something else in the room.
"Look, we can just go out for an hour, and if you really despise me that much," Jack said the last part with sarcasm in his voice, causing Nova to look at him. "Then I'll bring you back, and leave you alone."
"You promise me?" Nova asked, still not sure of Jack's actions.
"Yes." Jack watched him with a raised eyebrow, in question. "So?"
"Fine." Nova mumbled, walking over and picking up his camera to put around his neck. It was like a comfort item for him, and being around Jack, he definitely needed something comforting.
Jack gave him an easy smile, one that brought back memories for Nova, ones he wished he could erase from his brain. "Okay, let's go."
Nova just nodded his head and walked towards the door, Jack following behind him as he opened it. Walking out together, Jack shut the door behind him and they walked off to the elevators.
The button lit up as Jack pushed it, humming softly to himself as he waited for it.
Nova watched him as he rocked back and forth on his feet, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. "What did you do when you," Jack looked at him as he continued. "When you got back after you know." Nova trailed off at the end awkwardly.
Jack rolled his eyes playfully at Nova's awkwardness, "uh, I lived with an old friend for a while, until I got enough money to get my own place. I didn't really want to work at that museum for the rest of my life, but it's hard to sell enough art to make a decent living off of."
He nodded his head listening to Jack as he spoke, then thanked god that the elevator came as quickly as it did. Nova was horrible at starting conversations. It was even more difficult when the person was someone you previously had thought would never be in your life again.
They both walked in and Jack pressed the button for the main floor. "What about you? Did you graduate on time?"
"It took a little bit of time to get, uhm, back on track after everything." Nova murmured quietly.
Jack pressed his lips into a thin line at Nova's words. "I'm sorry I made you do that."
Nova looked up from his fidgeting hands to Jack instantly, "You are?"
Jack gave him a look of disbelief, "Nova, I've told you how sorry I am. Why would I be happy to hear that I deterred you from what you really dreamed of doing because I was being an asshole?"
"It's still just all weird for me, you being here is something I never thought of happening." Nova answered truthfully while fixing his glasses consciously.
"Don't know whether to take that as an insult or not." Jack chuckled as the doors opened again, walking out into the lobby, Nova following.
"I don't not how you should take it either." Nova shook his head, a small smile on his face. He was still hesitant around Jack, but he figured he needed to at least give him a small chance. Jack's seemed to be trying really hard to be friends with Nova. One chance couldn't hurt anything.
~
"I don't understand why you're so against it." Julian repeated for probably the hundredth time these past two hours. "There are plenty of gay artist out there right now, and they're doing just fine in sales."
"But none of those artists started out like you did, or grew as big as you did." One of the executives of the label reasoned.
"My fans won't leave me because I come out as gay, and if they did then they never really cared about my music in the first place. Plus I would probably gain new ones just as quickly." Julian stressed, he couldn't leave here with a no.
"What he's saying is," Mark threw him a look to calm down, and Julian just slouched back in his chair with a huff falling from his lips. "That he doesn't really care if he looses some money for coming out, it won't be forever that he'll be loosing money."
"When he looses money we loose money." Another one of the many suited men said with a wave of his hand, leaning back. "And you couldn't possibly predict that his sales wouldn't go down indefinitely, something like this could ruin an image that an artist has worked so hard to build with their fanbase."
"Ruin an image." Julian spat sitting up straight again, ignoring Mark's warning as he continued. "So I'm ruined for being gay? Is that what you're telling me?" All the people in the room were silent, but Julian kept on going.
"I have had to hide a big part of me for years now. Do you know how much it hurts to not be able to be with a person I love in public. To not be able to show them off and say how proud I am to be their's?" Julian started to feel tears form in his eyes from how angry he was.
"I know it's difficult for you to understand-"
Julian cut him off quickly before he could finish, "it seems like it's more difficult for you to understand that nothing is going to go wrong just because I love boys." He kept his hands on his knees, curled up tightly into shaking fists. Julian was beyond angry at this point, and Mark could see that, so he intervened.
"There has to be an agreement we can come too." Mark practically pleaded with the group of men. He knew how important this was for Julian, and for Nova. "We didn't come here to fight, or yell, we came because this has been something that you should've seen coming for a long time now. Especially since it's been years since Julian first came to ask about it."
The head of management sighed, rubbing his temples with his thin fingers. He was already tired of this. He dropped his hands and looked back to Julian and Mark. "Give us time alone to decide, you can wait outside."
Julian opened his mouth to protest but Mark quickly grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it hard. "Thank you." He drug Julian outside before he could say anything else that could sway their possible decision.
As soon as the door shut Julian just shouted in frustration and ran his fingers roughly through his hair. "This is ridiculous, I don't understand why they have to be so against it. I mean seriously they act like I'm asking to do drugs or something!"
Mark sighed softly to himself as he watched Julian pace back and forth, ranting off, looking more frustration. "I know how angry you are Julian, but yelling will not get your point across any better." He tried to suggest gently.
"I know that," Julian mumbled stopping his pacing before sitting down next to Mark on the small plush chair. "I just can't have them say no." He rubbed his hand across his mouth, taking a deep breath in and out to relax himself. "I don't think Nova can handle being hidden any longer."
"I know, but I don't think you can handle it either. With how much you two love each other, I can see how much strain it puts on you both to hide everything."
"If they say no it's gonna be worse for Nova when I have to bring Layla around him again. I feel like I'm cheating on him whenever I have her around him, even though he knows it's not real." Julian shook his head, another sigh falling from his lips. "What am I going to do if they say no Mark?"
Mark looked down at him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulders, squeezing it gently. "I don't know yet Julian, but I know that whatever happens, I'm gonna be here for you."
Julian let a soft smile come over his face at Mark's words, he nodded his head gently. "I know."
~
"That sounds like the worse date in the world." Nova snorted leaning back in his seat as he grabbed his mug of tea.
Jack nodded his blonde head, "it definitely felt like it was, but then again I guess I can't say the date was boring."
Nova skewered his face up a bit as he took a sip, humming slightly at the taste of peppermint. "I think someone who takes you to a mall for food than expects you to help them steal things qualifies as a bad date."
"I guess you're right," Jack said with a small chuckle and a smile on his face as he watched Nova. "Do you regret dating me?"
Nova choked on his tea and Jack reached out to help him but leaned away as the smaller boy waved him off. Once he finally managed to get breath back in his lungs he looked at Jack with wide eyes.
"W-Why would you ask me that?" Nova stuttered out finally, still taking heavy breaths into his chest.
Jack pursed his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know, I would regret dating me if I was the way I acted."
Nova rubbed his hands over his knees, his heart already beating fast at the topic, memories flashing through his mind like snapshots of photos' he'd taken. "I, I don't know how to answer. I can't exactly say what you did made me stronger, because it didn't."
"I know," Jack said softly, leaning forward towards Nova. "I was in a bad place then Nova, a bad mind set, it took me a long while to realize that what I did to you wasn't right."
"I know you're sorry Jack, you don't have to keep repeating yourself." Nova mumbled, his hazel eyes glancing around the small cafe, wanting to look anywhere but at Jack.
"I do though," Jack hesitated, but knew it was the only way he could get Nova's attention back to himself. He rested his hand gently over Nova's smaller one, his assumption being right, he looked immediately back to Jack.
Nova wanted to jerk his hand from right out under Jack's, but his words distracted him from doing anything.
"I will apologize and until I am able to feel like I deserve your forgiveness."
Looking back up to Jack, Nova swallowed hard, it feeling like a block of ice had formed around his vocal chords. "Jack," he started to say but the blonde cut him off gently.
"No, I don't need you to say anything Nova. I just want you to listen okay?"
Nova chewed on his lower lip in hesitation but nodded firmly. "Okay."
"Once I realized that what I did to you was awful, I wanted to find you to apologize. I knew that was pretty impossible though considering you were most likely not in the same place as I last saw you. I didn't have anyway to contact you anymore since you had changed your number and email, but I knew if I ever met you again I would do whatever I could to make it up to you."
Nova listened to words with both surprise and caution. Why was he bringing this all up now of all times? He couldn't help but wonder to himself as Jack continued.
"Once I saw you, I don't know why my first reaction was to scare you again. Maybe I still had some lingering anger that I didn't work through yet, and once I saw Julian it was jealousy." Jack let out tired sigh, wringing his hands together. "Which was wrong of me to do, once I noticed how happy he made you."
Nova couldn't help but ask, "how did you get a job for Julian's team anyways?"
Jack didn't look annoyed at the interruption, which again, shocked Nova. In the past Jack would get angry at him if he ever talked while he was. "Um, I was getting tired of working at museum and looking for something new. I saw an offer to work for a celebrity as the fashion designer, it didn't say specifically who, and I didn't know it was Julian until the interview."
"Then why the blackmail?" Nova asked another question, still confused about that whole thing. If Jack really wanted to be his friend this whole time, he wouldn't have done something like that.
Jack smiled shyly for once and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "I should've guessed that would be brought up again. Look," he started as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He unlocked it and it quickly found the picture he had of Nova and Julian, before holding the phone out to him.
Nova looked at the phone then back at Jack, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. "What?"
"Take it," Jack insisted, wiggling the phone in front of him. "Take it and delete the photo, that way there's nothing to hold over you anymore."
Nova's hands froze from their twitching as they rested on the table. "Then Julian would be able to fire you.." He trailed off watching Jack's reaction to his words.
"I know," was all Jack said back to him. "If he does, then he does. I just don't want to have anything worth holding over you anymore." He finished his sentence with a nod, like his decision to do this was already final.
Not wanting to pass up the chance to delete something that could hurt Julian, but as his thumb hovered over the delete button, Nova hesitated.
Jack watched him curiously, his hands folded together in front of him. "What is it?"
"You kept this photo so you could out Julian because it wasn't what his management wanted, but he is ready. Julian wants to come out, so I don't know." Nova was confused on what to do. "On one hand, this photo won't really be needed when his management says yes, but on the other if-" Nova didn't want to even say the other option of what was going to happen.
"Nova," Jack said softly, reaching back and taking the phone. "You have to be prepared for if they do say no, everyone knows that big labels, especially ones with stars as big as Julian, only care about one thing. Money, that's all they want at the end of the day, they don't care about the celebrity as long as they don't do anything to jeopardize them getting that money."
Nova's heart squeezed in pain, knowing Jack's words were right. "I hope Julian and Mark can convince them."
Jack watched Nova with a concerned expression on his face. "Me too, for your sake." Jack made sure Nova could see as he deleted the picture from his phone, it disappearing from existence.
"Thank you," Nova smiled genuinely for the first time since he had been out with Jack.
"You don't need to thank me." Jack looked out the window and stood up as he said, "we should probably get back to the hotel before Julian and Mark get back."
Nova nodded in agreement before getting up and following Jack outside, letting his hands just fall to his sides. "It was nice to get a distraction." Nova broke the silence after a couple minutes.
Jack stuck his hands into his pockets as he answered back, "I'm glad I was able to keep you from getting nervous rather than make you nervous." He laughed softly with an easy smile.
Nova laughed with him and the walk back wasn't as awkward as he though it would be. When they got to the elevator he blurted out, "I think I can forgive you now."
Jack froze after he pushed the button for their floor, looking down at Nova with a face full of shock. "You what?"
"I forgive you," Nova repeated, gnawing on his lower lip for a second before giving a small smile. "I think you've done a lot to show that you're not here to ruin my life. You've wanted to make sure I'm happy in my situation and even helped me today by distracting me to keep me from having a panic attack."
Jack shook his head, "Nova I don't know if I should be forgiven yet just because of everything today."
Nova pursed his lips in a frown, shaking his head back, "I know you don't want to hurt me anymore. You've been apologizing the whole time you've been with us. I think it's time to accept that apology."
Still wondering if he was serious, Jack said slowly, "you're completely sure?"
Nova nodded as the dinging noise of the elevator rung out, "completely." When the doors opened and they walked out and Nova squeaked in surprise as Jack pulled him into a hug, his long arms wrapping around him tightly.
Jack let him go quickly and smiled lightly as he tilted his head, "sorry, to early for a hug?"
"Maybe just a little," Nova said truthfully. It's been so long since Jack's touched him in a non threatening way, that it would take him more time to get use to him being affectionate again.
"Understood," Jack chuckled as they got to Nova's room.
Nova smiled to himself, getting his key-card out of his pocket to open the door. Once he walked inside his eyes widen in surprise at the sight before him.
Julian was sitting on the couch with Mark next to him, rubbing a hand comfortingly on his upper back as he sobbed into his hands.
"J-Julian," Nova stuttered out, dropping his key to the floor before rushing over to his boyfriend, leaving Jack to watch the whole scene curiously.
Julian looked up at instantly at the sound of Nova's voice, Mark moved to let the smaller boy sit down next to him.
"Julian what happened?," Nova whispered, holding his face in his hands. Though he had a sickening feeling that he had already knew what had happened.
Julian tried to take a deep breath so he could speak clearly, but his voice still came out choked, his throat tight from crying. "T-They said no." He broke out into sobs again as he collapsed in Nova's arms as they wrapped around him.
Nova just held his boyfriend close, being the one to try and calm down someone for once. He just rested a hand in Julian's hair, making small 'shh' noises and kept saying it would be okay. In his mind though his brain was completely fuzzy. Only repeating one phrase over and over.
They said no.
Four Weeks Later
Nova stood at the side of the stage watching as Julian played and sang the crowd of fans.
Things have been a little... distant between them. Ever since the label told Julian he couldn't come out he's been slowly getting more upset.
While he tried his best to make him happy, Nova couldn't help but feel like he was getting rejected from Julian. It hurt him, a lot. Julian still told him he loved him and would still be somewhat affectionate towards him, but it was like that was slowly dwindling.
It was driving Nova insane. He couldn't take Julian being upset, and really didn't want this to affect their relationship anymore.
When Julian came back stage for a small break between songs he gave Nova a small smile when he got to him. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Hey."
"Hey, you sounded beautiful, as always." Nova said with a smile back at him, wrapping his arms around Julian's neck. He let his eyes flicker over his boyfriend's face, worry the only thing he was feeling. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Julian's answer was automatic and he pulled back from Nova to take the water Mark handed him a water to drink from before he went back on stage. "There's nothing to worry about Nova. I promise," he said reassuringly once he saw Nova's anxious face.
When in reality, Julian was breaking down inside. He didn't know what to do, he tried his hardest to get them to say yes. Tried to plead to them that there would be nothing wrong with coming out, but in the end, it wasn't enough to sway them.
He knew he was hurting Nova by being distant, but he couldn't help but feel like he failed him. Julian felt like he didn't deserve him if he couldn't give Nova the relationship he deserved. To be able to be out in the open with their love was what he knew the photographer wanted more than anything.
Julian couldn't give that to him now, and he doesn't know if he ever will be able too. As he handed the water back to Mark, he looked at Nova who was already watching him. He caught the worry in his eyes before Nova whisked the feeling away and tried to hide behind a smile.
"I love you," Julian said and leaned forward to kiss Nova again.
Nova could feel the passion he put behind it, it worried him even more, but he kissed back with just as much passion, resting his hands on Julian's chest.
Mark waited for a minute before clearing his throat with a soft smile. He knew the couple had been having problems lately, but it was good to see them like this again. "As much as I would love to watch you to kiss forever, you have a job to do."
Julian groaned softly as he pulled back, throwing a playful glare at Mark, pecking Nova's lips once more before walking back onto the stage. His fans screaming instantly at the sight of him.
Nova watched after him with a wider smile on his face. He felt a little better, but knew these small instances of affection from Julian were now becoming more rare.
"He seems a little down."
Nova looked up to Jack, smiling gently at him, before looking back to Julian as his angelic voice started flowing through the speakers on stage. "Yeah, he is."
"I'm really sorry his management said no." Jack said with a small frown pulling down the corners of his lip. "I think it's awful that they are forcing Julian to be something he's not."
Nova let out a sigh, tapping his fingers against his side, his nerves spiking slightly. "I don't really wanna talk about them right now."
"Do you wanna talk about how you and Julian seem to be pulling away from each other." Jack said nonchalantly, looking down at Nova with a worried look on his face. "I see how upset it makes you when he doesn't hold your hand or kiss you as often Nova."
Nova flinched slightly, not wanting to think about this either. "I'm fine." He mumbled as he curled his shaking fingers inwards, his nails starting to dig into skin of his palm. "I love Julian and that's all that matters."
"I never said you didn't, but Nova do I really need to ask it again?" Jack shook his head, a sigh falling from his lips. "Do you really think you can wait any longer for him?"
Nova didn't answer him, he didn't want to admit that he didn't know if he could wait longer. He didn't want to leave Julian, but with him now pulling away and being more distant, it made those doubts come back to his mind.
"You're not happy." Jack said the words as a statement, rather than asking Nova a question.
"I'm happy, please Jack," he begged in a tone that was barely above a whisper.
Jack scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. "I'm just looking out for you." He mumbled before walking away to talk to Cassie about an outfit for tomorrow's show.
Nova hugged himself, rubbing his hands over his arms, a child had gone through his body as if the air around him was now colder.
"Nova." Nova looked back to see Mark watching him, he gestured for the boy to come over to him.
Nova feeling even more nervous than before, walked over and gave Mark a smile, trying to hide his true feelings from him.
This was Mark though, and he could see right through the facade Nova put up. "Look, I know Julian's been strained from you lately, but he does love you a lot. You do know that don't you?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
Nova nodded his head quickly, looking down at his hands as his fingers fidgeted with each other. "I know he loves me, I don't doubt that."
"Then what is it?"
"Why did they say no?" Nova snapped his head back up to look Mark right in the eyes. Mark could see small tears building up in the corner of Nova's eyes. "They can't just, they can't," he stopped himself, biting on his lower lip hard and shut his eyes tightly. He couldn't cry, not here, not now.
"Hey," Mark said softly, resting both hands on Nova's shoulders. "It's okay Nova, deep breaths alright? In," he started to follow his own instructions to get Nova to copy him. Feeling better when the boy did, "and out."
Nova opened his eyes, blinking away the stray tears, wiping his hands roughly over his face to get them to go away. "I'm okay, I'm okay." He repeated to himself like a mantra.
Mark bobbed his head, dropping his hands from Nova's shoulders before continuing. "I don't know why they said no, Julian and I did everything we could to try and convince them. They are just to focused on numbers rather than people, pop stars are usually all replaceable in their eyes."
"But with Julian," Nova trailed off, already knowing the finished part of his sentence.
"He's their biggest star, so they won't let anything jeopardize that. Even if it means Julian's unhappy." Mark and Nova both looked to the stage to see Julian struggling to smile as he faked a laugh at his audience.
Nova couldn't stand seeing him like that, it hurt his heart that he had to fake being happy.
When Julian had finally finished he felt relieved at the knowing he could go back to the hotel after this. He got back stage and handed his guitar to one of the stage hands and let out a previously held in breath. Julian ran a hand through his hair and looked around for Nova.
Seeing him though caused nothing but anger to flow through Julian's body. Nova was standing with Jack and just talking, a smile on his face. Julian just swallowed hard, letting his hands curl into fists before walking off in the opposite direction.
Nova glanced away from Jack just as Julian was storming off, he felt his stomach twist up into knots. "Julian," he called out before walking after him when he didn't stop. "Julian!"
Jack watched after the pair with curiosity on his face, but inside himself all he felt was an immense feeling of pride.
It was working.
~
"Julian, stop, please talk to me." Nova called out, finally getting close enough to grab his boyfriends wrist to stop him in his tracks. "Look at me Julian, what's wrong?"
When Julian turned his head to look at him, Nova immediately shrunk back from him and let his hand go. Julian had an infuriated look on his face, one the chilled Nova's whole body.
"What's wrong?" Julian spat the words with venom.
"What did I do?," Nova whispered, already feeling his heart beating faster, his fingers twitching at his sides.
"I've been breaking inside these past weeks and you don't even seem to care Nova!," Julian shouted in anger and it only made Nova flinch back further from him.
"How you can say that Julian?" Nova looked at him with disbelief all over his face. "Of course I care that you're upset. You're the one who's been pushing me away," he spoke with a slight confidence, but still, he was afraid. They've never fought before.
"Yeah well seeing your boyfriend all smiley and chummy with their ex, who by the way, abused them." Julian emphasized the word, making Nova wince as memories flashed through his mind. "Doesn't exactly make me feel like being around him."
Nova shook his head, "H-He's been apologizing over and over again to me, and he kept me distracted to keep me from having a panic attack while you were gone." He was so confused and he felt like throwing up from how angry Julian seemed to be at him.
"He can apologize till the day he dies, doesn't mean you have to forgive him for what he did to you." Julian threw his hands up in frustration, his eyes wide. "Doesn't mean you have to be friends with him."
"I'm allowed to be friends with him, you told me you weren't going to push me to do something just because you weren't okay with it." Nova watched him closely, his eyes scanning up and down Julian, to take in his body language.
"Yeah, because I didn't want to be like him!" Julian shouted, gesturing his hand off in the direction of Jack.
Nova started to really feel like he was going to throw up, getting light headed.
"Julian."
Julian looked up as he breathed heavily, feeling nothing but anger.
Mark was standing there with cold look on his face, his arms tightly crossed over his chest. Cassie had come to get him quickly once she realized that yelling was coming from Julian.
"Walk away, now." Mark was firm in his tone and didn't break eye contact with the singer.
Julian grumbled, "fine." Then stormed off in the direction they had came from, leaving Nova to stand there completely frozen.
Nova's feelings were numb and his mind was blank, it felt like all his surroundings had melted around him. Which was why when Mark rested a hand on his shoulder, he jerked back from him instantly.
"Sorry," Nova said softly once he realized it was Mark.
"Nova, you don't have to apologize," Mark assured him with a shake of his head. "I know he's been upset lately but the way he talked to you was unacceptable. I'm so sorry."
Julian kept walking after Mark told him to walk away from Nova. He knew that he was wrong for blowing up on Nova. He was already starting to feel incredibly guilty for yelling at him like that. It was just so frustrating for him to know Nova forgave someone like Jack.
He got in the car waiting for him at the back of the venue, sliding into the back seat and shutting the door quickly. Julian just rested his head in his hands, ruffling his hair up.
The car door opened and he looked up automatically, hoping it was Nova. Much to his dismay, it was the last person he wanted to see right now.
"What are you doing here Jack? You usually ride back to the hotel with Cassie." Julian didn't want to see him right now, especially after the fight with Nova.
"Nova wanted to ride back with her instead, and Mark said he has stay back to talk about things with your stage crew for the next show. So it's just you and me," Jack smiled easily as he leaned back against the black leather seat of the car.
"I would rather walk."
Jack snorted before saying with sarcasm clear in his voice, "you seem to be in a great mood."
Julian rolled his eyes, just staring out the window, wanting to just ride back the whole way in silence.
"Nova seemed pretty shaken up when he left." Jack watched with slight satisfaction when Julian seemed to stiffen at the news. "Can't say I'm surprised, anyone would be shaken up after being screamed at."
"Look, I don't want to talk right now. I especially don't want to talk to you." Julian spat, turning his head to look at Jack, a glare coming over his features.
Jack rolled his eyes in return, "I don't know why you can't just see that I'm not going to hurt Nova. I helped him the day you were gone, and made sure he wasn't pacing in the room all day. He was on the verge of a panic attack."
Julian was silent, but his heart squeezed in pain at knowing that Nova almost broke down over the situation. He stared down at his hands while Jack continued.
"If I really wanted to hurt him again, I would've done it by now don't you think?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow as he leaned forward in his seat. "What are you going to do now that they won't let you come out?"
Julian looked up at you him, scrunching his nose up in confusion. "What do you mean, what am I going to do?"
Whistling, Jack just shook his head back and forth, a sly smile pulling over his face. "What's going to happen between you and Nova now?"
Julian scoffed at his question, "It's funny that you think I have to give you answer to that."
"I think you and I both know that Nova can't be okay with hiding this for much longer," Jack said, just ignoring his comment.
"You don't speak for how Nova feels, and neither do I." Julian's tone was as serious as face had gotten.
"If he wanted to leave though," Jack started to say, but Julian cut him off.
"He won't."
"If he did want to leave, would you let him?" Jack finished, not breaking the eye contact he and Julian had.
"Of course if he wanted to leave I would let him." Julian's heart faltered at his own words, as if Nova was already gone. "I'm not like you, I don't want to control what he does."
Jack narrowed his eyes, "I was in a bad place a few years ago when I was with Nova. I've gotten the help I needed, and I'm better now. I'm not a monster." He said each word firmly to get his point across.
"Sure, good luck getting me to believe that." Julian retorted, opening the door since they had gotten back to the hotel. "I know you're planning something. I'm not the type of person to forgive someone when they hurt the people I love." Julian looked from outside the door back to Jack.
"If you do anything to Nova, try to persuade him into anything he doesn't really want to do, know this," Julian's tone was hard as he spoke. "I don't care if you have something to blackmail me with. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you feel every ounce of pain, you made Nova go through when you were with him."
With that he got out of the car and stalked into the hotel quickly, leaving Jack in the car without a second thought. Julian hoped Nova was in their room. He needed to talk to him.
Julian tapped his fingers impatiently against his side as the elevator rose upwards. "Come on, come on," he mumbled to himself. When the ding sounded, he groaned in relief and rushed out as soon as the doors opened. He was rushing so much that he wasn't even paying attention and ran right into Mark.
"We need to talk, now." Mark didn't give him a chance to protest as he dragged Julian off to his own hotel room.
Meanwhile, Nova was just sitting down on the couch, watching the door. He wanted to see and talk to Julian just as much, to figure out what he could do to make sure he was happier from now on.
So when there was a knock on the door, Nova wasted no time in jumping up from the couch and rushing over to the door to answer.
"Julian," Nova started to say as he opened the door, then let his shoulders slump a little at who was there. "Oh, hi Jack." He gave a soft smile to the blonde as he stood in the doorway.
"Good to see you too," Jack joked and walked in as Nova moved aside to let him.
"Sorry I was just um, waiting for Julian." Nova said softly, closing the door as he kept his gaze on the ground. His thoughts were racing. The main one being, did Julian want to break up with him?
Jack sat down on the couch and watched as Nova just stood at the door, his eyes blank with thoughts. With a sigh, Jack patted the spot next to him. "Come here Nova, tell me what's going on in the beautiful head of yours."
Nova snapped out his thoughts at Jack's words and hesitated for a second, before walking over and slowly sinking down next to him. "I don't know what I did. Whatever it is, I just wanna fix it." Nova mumbled as he laced his fingers together.
Jack had an arm thrown over the back of the couch, right behind Nova. "Nova you did noting wrong, you know that right?"
Nova just shook his head, rubbing his cheeks with both hands. "I don't know that, maybe I haven't been noticing his feelings lately."
"Nova, stop doing that." Jack said with a scowl on his face. "Stop blaming yourself for something you didn't even do."
"I didn't do enough is the problem Jack," he whispered.
"If Julian expects you to be able to read every single mood change he goes through then he's really expecting too much from you."
Nova shrugged his shoulders and Jack let out a deep sigh.
"Nova, look at me."
When he did look at Jack, Nova squeaked softly as Jack took both his hands into his. "What are you doing?" Nova asked, going to pull his hands away quickly.
"Just listen to me," Jack said, gripping onto his hands so he couldn't pull away. "You deserve to be happy, you know that. With how your relationship with Julian is going, do you really think you can wait years for him to be able to show you as his in public?"
Nova looked away, gnawing on his bottom lip hard to try and stop from getting worked up.
"Are you gonna be able to handle him being around that girl, kissing her, and holding her hand in public. What if one day he has to fake propose to her?"
Nova flinched at the thought of having to watching Julian do that. The doubting thoughts in his mind getting louder.
"I just want you to be happy." Jack said tenderly, squeezing Nova's hands. "I just want you to be able to be with someone who's proud to be with you."
"Jack, I know you're just looking out for me, but I know Julian wouldn't let things go that far with Layla." Nova sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Jack.
"You don't though Nova," Jack pointed out, letting go of Nova's hands finally. "He's under contract with his label, and after what they've proven to be like, who knows that they won't."
"What do you expect me to Jack?" Nova asked with a defeated look on his face. "I love him, I don't want to leave him." He stopped in shock as soon as the words left his mouth. Why would he think of that?
Jack watched him, letting Nova be with his own thoughts for a minute.
"I, I don't know why I said that. I would never think of leaving Julian." Nova assured himself, looking at Jack with a panicked face.
Jack took a hold of his shoulders, "calm down Nova, it's not like you've decided to leave him."
"The thought is there though Jack!" Nova closed his eyes and tried to relax himself, he couldn't get worked up. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Jack was silent for a minute, then spoke up again, "Nova, can I ask you something?"
Nova opened his eyes and looked at Jack questioningly. "I guess.."
Jack took a deep breath in and then let it out just as quickly before saying anything. "Why don't you leave with me?"
Nova froze at his words, looking up at Jack with wide and shocked eyes.
"What?"
Yes, I know I know. How could I keep you waiting so long, only to leave you on a cliff hanger. This took forever for me to finish. It's like 22 pages, that's the longest I've ever written I think. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I love reading all the lovely comments you guys leave, and I try to reply to every single one. So please let me know how I'm doing. Also, per usual, this is being updated very late, so if any missing words or grammar mistakes I apologize in advance.
I hope your day/night is going well!!
- Jocelyn