"I THINK this is the first time na nakita kitang nakangiti," he said.
I immediately straightened my lips and squinted my eyes away from him.
He chuckled. "What are you doing here anyway? It's already past midnight. May nakalimutan ka ba ulit dito? Sarado na rin 'yung simbahan."
"W-Wala. N-Napadaan lang."
"With your pajamas on?"
I looked down at myself. I'm wearing pajamas and even house slippers. "Ano bang pake mo? Ikaw? Bakit andito ka? Bakit lagi kang nandito?"
"I told you already, malapit lang ako dito."
"Puro school and universities dito. Are you living in a dormitory? Are you still a student?"
Ngumiti lang ulit siya. "Halika nga dito." I was startled when he suddenly held my right hand and brought me closer to him.
He removed his jacket which revealed his white shirt inside, ang linis niyang tignan. Then he placed his jacket over my shoulders. I was blown away by his action.
"Let's exchange slippers too."
I came back to my senses when I saw him almost removing his slippers. "I'm okay. You don't have to do that."
"Are you sure? Manipis lang 'yan, malamig ang semento."
"Anong manipis? Excuse me, high quality 'to."
"Sabi ko nga," he said while smiling. Nakakainis, bakit palagi siyang nakangiti? "Anyway, where do you plan to go?"
"H-Hindi ko alam. Ikaw? Saan ba punta mo?"
"Hindi kasi ako makatulog so I plan to go at the near coffee shop."
"Sarado na 'yung Starbucks."
"Nope, not there. Sa Caffeine District."
"Bukas pa 'yun ng ganitong oras?"
"It's actually closed already but I know the owner. Nagsabi na ko sa kanyang if he can extend even for thirty minutes lang."
"Wow ha?"
"Let's go?"
"Let's use my car."
He nodded.
THE ambience is so good and relaxing. Kakilala nga siya ng owner as he welcomed us as we enter. He even looked at my pajamas, maybe because he's wondering. Ha! Pake niya?
I ordered coffee caramel and he ordered strawberry frappe.
"So you like pink?" I asked.
"Hmmm...kind of."
"Are you gay?"
Hindi man lang siya nagulat sa tanong ko so I guess it's confirmed. Instead, he just smirked then humalumbaba sa harap ko. He stared at me intently then blinked.
"Fine, fine, you're not."
Saka lang siya umayos ng upo. "Hindi mo pa sinasagot tanong ko."
"Ano 'yun?"
"Why are you here?"
"I told you already, napadaan lang ako."
"Liars go to hell."
"My life is already hell."
He cleared his throat. "Sorry." He sipped from his frappe and did not bother to speak again.
I sighed. "Andito ako kasi hinahanap kita."
"A-Ako? Bakit mo naman ako hinahanap? Saka how sure are you na makikita mo ko dito during this wee hours?"
"I just felt it."
"Your instincts are on point. Why you're searching for me anyway?"
Pinaglaruan ko ang cream sa ibabaw ng inumin ko using my straw. "I...I finally know the answer to your question." Tinignan ko siya and he seems confused so I continued explaining. "Tinanong mo ko kung ano bang pinagdarasal ko at bakit kailangan kong mag-novena for nine days. I told you na hindi ko rin alam because to be honest, pinilit lang ako ng bestfriend ko to do this."
He stared at me as if he is so amused while listening to my story.
"After everything that happened this day, alam ko na kung anong kailangan ko. Alam ko na kung anong hinahanap ko. Alam ko na kung anong kulang sa'kin."
"And that is?"
"Happiness. I want happiness in my life," my voice almost cracked. I slightly raised my head as I can feel my eyes at the verge of tears.
Seconds passed before he said something. "Thank you."
"Thank you saan?"
"I'm flattered. I'm flattered na pumunta ka pa talaga dito just to tell me that personally. I appreciate it, sobra."
Hindi ako sanay na may ganitong nagpapasalamat sa'kin, na someone is overwhelmed ng dahil sa'kin. "Maliit na bagay," sagot ko before licking the cream on my straw.
"But I don't think happiness ang kailangan mo."
"What?" I glared at him. "Nagsayang ako ng gas ko papunta dito para sabihin sa'yo 'yan only to find out that you're gonna contradict me? Na you're just gonna invalidate my answer?"
"No, it's not like that. I mean—"
"Alam mo, hindi na dapat ako nag-aksaya ng oras sa'yo. Natulog na lang dapat ako!" Tumayo na ko at akmang aalis pero pinigilan niya ko.
"Wait lang."
Inirapan ko lang siya at tinalikuran. Padabog akong naglakad papunta sa door pero napahinto ako dahil sa sinabi niya.
"Miss, hindi ka pa bayad."
Nag-init ang pisngi ko. There were still two or three customers, baka isipin nila wala kong pera! Naka-pajamas pa naman ako!
I prompt to face him again, nagulat pa ko dahil nasa harapan ko na pala siya. "Hindi ko dala wallet ko. Pay for it first, babayaran kita bukas triple the amount!" I rolled my eyes before exiting the shop.
Ha! Kainis!
"Miss..."
"Ano na naman?"
"Paano mo ko mababayaran? Wala tayong contact. I don't even know your name."
Pinapakulo talaga ng lalaking 'to ang dugo ko! "Fine! Do you have your phone with you? I'm going to save my number—"
"Chill. I was just joking." At nakuha pa niyang tumawa! "Hindi ko naman pababayaran sa'yo 'yun. I just don't want you to leave yet."
"Hindi ka nakakatawa!"
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't want you to misinterpret that thing I said a while ago. I'm not contradicting you nor invalidating you. I just want to make you realize something."
"Just get straight to the point!"
"I don't think you still need happiness...because you are already happy," he emphasized the last words.
"I don't get it. Paano mo nasabing masaya ko when I am crying myself to sleep? When I am still not satisfied with things that I have? How can I be already happy kung ganitong punong puno ng galit ang puso ko?"
"That's it. Punong puno ka ng galit, to the point na natabunan na 'yang saya sa puso mo. Your heart is already filled with joy and love, but it is being overpowered by your anger. Alam mo kung anong kulang sa'yo?" He slowly raised his index finger. "Siya."
Napalunok ako.
"You don't have to pray for happiness; you just need to let Him in inside your heart so He can help you to find the happiness that is already staying in your heart for a long time. Give yourself a chance, give Him a chance."
This is the first time that a man made me lost for words, the fact that I didn't know him, not even his name.
Hinawakan niya magkabila ang jacket niya na siyang suot ko pa rin. I thought he was going to take it back, but he just held it closer together to my chest. "It's almost one AM, you should go home already. Sigurado akong maraming nag-aalala para sa'yo." He placed his palm hand over my head. "Ingat sa pag-drive."
My heart is overflowing with emotions and gratitude. Even though I don't know who he is, even though this is only the fourth time we met, I have this urge inside me, kailangan kong gawin 'to. I slowly wrapped my arms around him and comfortably lean my face on his chest.
He gasped.
I closed my eyes. "Alam mo kung nasaan ako? Nasa gitna ako ng maraming gustong sabihin at walang masabi."
I felt both of his hand on my back. He did not hug me tightly, but it was gentle enough to make me feel secured. He did not say a single word. I adore his smart mouth and his words, but I never thought that I'm also going to adore his silence. His words speak for the truth, but his silence speaks for comfort.
When I am finally calmed down, ako na ang unang kumalas sa yakap namin. "I'm sorry. I was a bit carried away. Sige na, uuwi na ko."
"O-Okay. Ingat ka."
I looked at him. "This will be the first time na sasabihin ko 'to sa'yo. I don't how to express and say it in a proper way but believe me when I say...thank you. I mean it. I'll go now."
He smiled. "It's Sunday already. Don't forget to attend the mass, and don't forget your novena."
"Andito ka ba mamaya pagbalik ko? Makikita ba kita?"
"I'll be here, but I'm not sure if magkikita tayo, but I hope so."
Gusto kong malaman ang pangalan niya, ang number niya. I want to know him more, but I doubt, what if ayaw niya? This man is literally making me crazy. Never in my life akong nag-doubt, I'm always on taking the risk without minding the after effects pero dahil sa kanya, I'm having second thoughts.
"Sige, aalis na ko for real. See you when I see you."
I sighed first before ako pumasok sa kotse ko. Hindi ko na siya tinignan pa ulit, not even on the side mirror.
Ayoko nitong nararamdaman ko.
HINDI ako bumalik sa bahay nina Pam, umuwi ako sa bahay ko. Pagkapasok ko sa loob, I saw my mom sleeping on the sofa and she's holding her phone.
She probably fell asleep while waiting for me.
Dire-diretso akong umakyat sa taas at pumunta sa kwarto ko. Kumuha ko ng kumot at muling bumaba. Kinuha ko ang phone niya from her hand and pinatong ko sa center table saka ko siya kinumutan.