05 | five
SHE FELT HER HEART POUND AGAINST HER ribcage uncomfortably, feet seeming to sink into the ground to the point where they seemed to mold with the cement and all demands of moving seemed futile. Because at that moment she was ill-equipped with the ability to interact with another human being on any basis, even the thought of looking one in the eye made her want to turn away into the dim stairwell and crawl back into a bed that didn't want her.
Aurora was drained, engulfed by a tiredness more than just skin-deep. But the mere idea of returning to a room that was too blank and a head that was too full made her stomach tie into knots. She felt her teeth clench, shoulders sagging as a long breath of air escaped her lungs.
A single lightbulb sitting atop the exit door illuminated a space roughly eight feet in diameter around Aurora, the light polluting the dark space around it and enabling her to only see a rough outline of a lone figure standing before the railing of the roof. Aurora had no idea who was accompanying her tonight but based on what little she could see, it wasn't someone she was familiar with.
She toyed with the idea of turning back in her head, despite the ache at the back of her neck that sealed the answer to be no. But perhaps she would drift off now, maybe it would work. The sheets could pull her away and sleep would finally come.
No, it won't.
That was that. The voice in her head was right. So, with a lump at the back of her throat, Aurora stepped forward, towards the spot she thought was her own on this lonely floor. Her arms were still pinned in front of her.
She was prepared to speak, prepared to make a light conversation. But she definitely wasn't prepared to do so with him. When the light gave way around her and Aurora was finally able to see her surroundings clearly, her feet almost stopped in their tracks. She should have known his shoulders by now, the way they always seemed to be tense and ready to react. She should have noticed him from a mile away and been able to pin an identity to this figure. But her head still felt light and she hadn't even thought of it to be him when she noticed the presence. It all felt too much like a torturous banality. Apparently, this was who she was: a magnet for all things plaguing and misleading. Ghosts liked to follow her around and haunt her as if she was some empty house with a curse set upon it.
However, her steps only faltered slightly and before she knew it she was getting closer and closer to James. His back was turned to her, but Aurora could see that he was aware of her. His posture was rigid as if bracing for some sort of impact. For someone so reserved and timid, he was surprisingly always on edge.
When she came to a stop a few feet to the right of him, he finally turned to glance at her out of the corner of his eye. Aurora tried to make herself look nonchalant and approachable, despite the steady pounding of her pulse that she could feel in her head. She didn't look at him, not yet. Instead, she focused her eyes on the picturesque scenery of city lights before her and untangled her arms in front of her to put them lightly in the pocket of her hoodie.
There was a soft breeze whistling past, and neither of them spoke for a long time. Aurora's fingers ghosted over the scab on her wrist and dug her nail into it slightly, a nervous habit that she so desperately needed to lose. She bit her lip and finally allowed herself to let her gaze stray and settle over the man next to her.
She forced herself to let her expression to brighten into an easy smile, but she didn't know how successful it was. "Um, hi," Aurora breathed, surprised at how smooth her voice was when it drifted from her lungs.
His posture was still tense, arms hanging stiffly at his sides. But through it all, James did turn his head slightly to offer her a negligible smile along with illusive eyes and a meager nod of greeting.
His simple reaction caused a feathery feeling to flutter through Aurora's chest and she felt herself burn in self-consciousness. She swallowed, feeling her mouth go dry. The only moments she's spent with this man were stolen seconds where she barely had time to absorb his presence, and now, when he lingered for minutes longer, she felt the curiosity rush over her again.
"It's nice up here, isn't it?" Aurora heard herself say, as if the logical reality of herself was floating off somewhere else. She heard James let out a small hum of agreement, turning back towards the scattered lights of the night. The sky was still impossibly dark, but Aurora knew that the first rays of light would break through soon. She was used to it by now, despite the fact that she hadn't needed to step up on this floor for the longest time.
The silence stretched on and Aurora felt James shift slightly beside her. The pair was a good five feet apart, but she swore she could feel every molecule of his presence sinking into her senses. A car horn blared somewhere in the distance. There was some kind of comfort in the lack of words exchanged, and Aurora thought back to the first day she had come across the mysterious figure who stood next to her. She knew she had promised Mrs. Salas that she would speak to James and become friendly, but hadn't had the chance to do so.
Aurora felt her jaw open and close, feeling a compelling urge to speak, but not exactly sure of what to say. This cycled for a few seconds before it ended up being, "I wasn't really expecting to see anyone up here."
She felt James duck his head, his feet shuffling beneath him. "I can leave if-"
Aurora's eyes widened, feeling a drop of panic twist in her gut. She had to choose her words wisely. "No, no, that's not what I meant," she turned her shoulders to face him. "You don't have to go," her voice was thin and papery, feeling heat creep up on her neck. "I enjoy your company." His eyes burned into hers and she felt her skin crawl.
He didn't speak, merely stared at her for a moment longer before his brows furrowed a fraction and his gaze disappeared from hers. Aurora felt foolish of her words, they were barely acquaintances and she'd taken a stab at something that wasn't even there. She turned away, focusing on the soft glow of a light somewhere off in the distance.
The moon had sunk away from view and a stillness fell over the two strangers once more. It was broken, however, by James this time, and Aurora never expected to hear his voice in such a gentle resonance.
"Why are you out here so late?" His voice was like ink, a rough silkiness that pooled into the air and stained her whirring thoughts and making everything else indecipherable. Aurora's head snapped back in the opposite direction, almost uncertain if it was actually James who had spoken.
Her shock delayed her response, it took a long second but he only looked at her with gentle eyes that held no judgement. Just curiosity.
"I couldn't sleep," Aurora answered finally. "And I knew this was a good place for some fresh air." She didn't hold back her words now, "can I ask you the same question?"
"Well, I also have the same answer." His eyes remained on the buildings before them.
"Insomnia?" Aurora inquired.
"Something like that." His words slowly decrescendo as they followed, head dropping down and brunette hair falling in a small curtain. By manner of his speech and the way his gaze found the ground, Aurora could tell that his sleeplessness wasn't pleasant either. The instinctual psychiatrist in her saw everything. She noticed how the muscles in his jaw rippled as he ground his teeth, and how the crease between his brow deepened. Aurora was more than capable of spotting the physical implications of those who held back and felt lost in the ruins of whatever circumstances overpowered them. But she always had that information printed in front of her in a file, even if the patient was unwilling to discuss it. This time, however, Aurora has no such previous knowledge and James was just a plain figure with a question mark lingering over him.
"This place doesn't exactly cure it," Aurora said after a while, managing to tear her surveying eyes away from her neighbor. "But it does help with the mind-clearing."
"It really does," James agreed, the corners of his lips curling upwards in a small grin. He lifted his eyes up to the sky and swept his blue gaze about the darkness, finding the weak hints of stars and planets dotting the horizon. Aurora did the same, but she paused to steal glances at him instead. She had memorized how the skies looked up here a long time ago, pondering the distant celestial beings that painted the universe. But this time, he was the new and mysterious thing that had surfaced in her atmosphere, and somehow she felt that it wouldn't be the last time she wanted to know more.
— note!
WOWOWOWOW IM SO CLICHE AND TRSHY ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY. SORRY IF I KILLED YOU WITH THAT CHEESINESS OF THE LAST PARAGRAPH BUT YA KNOW I HAD TO END IT SOMEWHERE. i wasn't particularly at the top of my concentration when writing this so i'm sry if its not so good. but anyways the fact that these two are finally conversing makes me sO hApPy AJXBSHHXBS. i hope you guys liked it, ty so much for reading <3
bUt IW IS OFFICIALLY IN HD AND IM CRYING IN HD, sOMebODy hOLd mE & JUST BC ITS EVERYWHERE AND I FEEL LIKE IT IM GONNA POST SOME GIFS HERE BC IM A BITCH:
( screw you wattpad and your file size limits )
i was literally dying as i made these.
that last one wasn't iw but it kills the same way.
hope you're still alive. BYE ILY ALL.