ISABELLA
The greens of his eyes are imbedded into my memory. With each breath that I take, I can feel his heavy heartbeat. My skin burns with the loss of his touch; the way his calloused fingers would dig into my bare hip bone while he kissed me I think about his smell - the perfect amount of cigarette, mint and musky cologne- and his dimple that indents whenever he smirks or laughs. All of these things replay in the back of mind as I sit here in this bookstore alone.
As much as I wish it wouldn't, my mind is racing with a constant string of what ifs. What if I leave Chase for Harry, would he really want about me? What if I do and he decides that he doesn't care about me? What if Chase is actually the man for me and I'm too blinded by my mere lustful attraction towards Harry? All of these questions run through my mind like a broken record player.
I can't help the guilt that I feel for telling Chase that I love him. I hate that Harry was right; that he was right that I don't actually love him. It's funny what you can do and say in the heat of the moment. It's funny how anger and adrenaline can cause you to say things that only screw you over more than you already were. I needed to take a break: a break from men, work, and London.
It's in times like these that I am thankful for friends, especially Jaz Hemmings. She was truly a god-send. Without her, I would be more of a mess emotionally than I already was.
The reason that I came to London was to find myself. To get away from the fast paced dramatics of the Upper East Side and my parent's life to discover who I truly am. Instead, I have found myself with a man who is the embodiment of everything that I don't want to be. As well, I've met a man who reeks of instability and adventure who knows how to keep me on my toes and feel alive. I needed a moment to step back and reevaluate what I want to do with my life and why I came to Europe in the first place. Without the distraction of Chase and Harry.
Greece. Ever since I first watched Sisterhood of the Traveling pants (one and two, obviously), I have always dreamt about going to Greece. The food, the weather, the beaches, the men - my desire to go and visit this country has always been high on my bucket list. When Tiff mentioned to Jaz and I that her parents recently purchased a house there, we jumped on the opportunity to go away for the week and relax. A week of girl time, delicious food, and bottles of wine.
It's perfect. The timing is perfect. Everything about this trip was in fact perfect.
The only downside to this impromptu trip, was Chase's lack of enthusiasm.
"Explain to me again why you're going?" He asked me with a long winded sigh as I packed my suitcase.
"Tiff's parents bought a house there. We wanted to get away. I already told you all of this." I explained as I tried to keep my voice calm.
Ever since Harry and I talked at the bookstore, Chase has been overly sensitive and on edge. Whenever I would bring it up to him, he'd automatically deny that anything was wrong and change the subject. It was beginning to grow increasingly frustrating. Honestly, the timing of this trip couldn't be any more... perfect.
"Fine," he sighed once more, "whatever."
Today was the day that we were finally leaving. I double checked my suitcase and purse for the hundredth time that hour. Going over my packing check list once more and seeing again if my passport was in fact in my purse. It was. My excitement was overbearing and I was ready to go.
"Where's my hat?" Jaz screamed from her bedroom. I rolled my eyes at her procrastination and walked over to her room.
"Which hat?" I bit my lip, holding in any escaping giggles as I looked at my flustered roommate. She was sitting in her closet, piles upon piles of clothes scattered around her. Her blonde hair was a matted mess on top of her head and her make up smudged from the blistering heat that radiated from her floor heater.
"The tan one. It looks like a fedora? It has a thin black ribbon type thingy around it." She explained as she continued to dig through a box of hats and baseball caps.
"Um, I haven't seen it love. Sorry."
Jaz groaned once more before throwing her box of hats to the floor and crawling through her closet. "It has to be here somewhere."
"Well hurry up!" I laughed while walking out her door. As I made my way to our living room a loud knock came from the front door. "I think Tiff is here," I called to Jaz.
"Give me fifteen more minutes!" She called back, slamming the door behind her.
Rolling my eyes, I made my way towards the door. As I opened it up, my breathing hitched in my throat. Instead of Tiff's straight newly dyed brown locks, was a familiar head of brown curls.
"Harry?" He looked up from his phone, his dimpled smile that could cure world hunger smiling up at me.
"Hey," his voice sounded like sweet honey to my ears. His voice was heavy with it's usual rasp and still held that danger that I grew to enjoy.
"What are you doing here?" As I ask this, he pushes through my door and towards my bedroom. He takes a seat on my bed, his eyes locked on my packed suitcase.
"I heard you were going on vacation." He says, his voice deadpanned. I look around my room, a sudden wave of uncomfortableness overtaking my body. My arms are wrapped around my torso as my teeth bite down on the corner of my lip.
"Yeah. Mykonos, for the week." My eyes don't want to look his way. The strong scent of his cologne suffocating my senses in the most perfect way possible.
"Ah. I heard it's nice there."
"Yeah."
The silence between us is awkward. Neither one of us looking at one another. He is still seated on the bed as I stand next to my dresser with my side leaning against it. The door to my bedroom is shut but I can still manage to hear the shower running.
I glance up at him. My breath hitches in my throat as I take in his appearance. The black and white stripped t-shirt that he has on clings to his body in the most heavenly way possible. He wears his usual pair of black skinny jeans and tattered black boots. The way his body sits on my bed is enticing. With every ounce of restraint that I have left inside me, I refrain myself from doing something that I know I will regret later.
The silence was deafening. I open my mouth to speak, the words struggling to come out. "What - why are you here, Harry?"
He looks up at me from his steady stare on his linked fingers. His plump lips are pursed as he holds back a smirk. His dimple fights to be shown, but he coughs, running his hand through his styled hair and straightening up his posture.
"I wanted to see you." He speaks the words carefully. The sounds drawling out.
"Why? It's been a week since I last saw you." I ask him. My breath hitches in my throat as he stands up. With each step that he walks closer to me, I take one step back. My body hits the door, shutting it behind me. My ears perk up to hear that Jaz is still taking her untimely shower.
Harry has me trapped with his hands resting on either side of my head. He uses one hand to lock the door behind me as he uses the other to push a piece of fallen hair back behind my ear. His minty breath fans over my lips. Involuntarily my eyes shut and breath hitches.
"What are you doing here, Harry." My voice comes out breathy while my body remains still.
"I wanted to see you." He speaks. The tone of his voice remains calm and collected; a vast contrast from the pounding madness of my heart.
"But why," I manage to open my eyes. His face is a mere inches away from me. "I thought you were done with me."
"I will never be done with you, Isabella." He smirks down at me. His legs spread mine apart so that he is now standing in between them. My mind is racing a mile a minute. Ever nerve ending is on fire from his touch.
"I don't understand."
"So I've been told." He chuckles. He runs his fingers up and down my arms. A fresh skin of goosebumps surfacing from his touch. "I want you, Isabella. I want you so fucking bad." His words course through me. "This past week without you has been fucking hell. I don't care if you keep running me in circles or that you have a boyfriend. I want you and will do everything that I can to make you mine."
"What about Hanna?" I quietly ask with furrowed brows and a confused heart.
Harry's hands find home on my hips, his fingers digging into the thin fabric of my leggings. He hooks his thumbs into the band and begin to press roughly on the skin of my hipbone. "She doesn't matter," He bites his lip while watching my reaction as he moves his hands from my sides and towards my backside.
"You seem pretty close."
"All I want is you."
My breathing gets caught in my throat and my tongue goes dry. The roof of my mouth has become like sand paper at the moment those five words escape his lips. He wanted me? This didn't seem right. The idea of Harry wanting me was a concept that went beyond my understanding. He had always seemed like the kind of man who would leave at the mere mention of a girlfriend (or rather, feelings). He was a fuck and leave kind of guy. Yet here he was, telling me that all he wanted was me.
My mind couldn't help but wonder if he was only saying this because of Chase.
"I'm in a relationship."
Harry scoffs at me. His hips touching my hips. The warmth of his body heating up my own. "There are things about your boyfriend that you don't know about. He's hiding things from you, Izzy. Leave him."
"He isn't hiding anything from me. That's ridiculous." My voice holds now conviction as I say these things. It's just another red flag in a sea of red flags when it comes to Chase and I's relationship.
"Oh?" He smirks. "I know Chase a lot better than you think." Harry pauses for a moment. His eyes study me as I stay still and wait for him to continue. "Ask him about why he calls you Ella."
"It's because he likes the name."
"Ask him why," he challenges.
I stare at Harry and observe his confident smirk and seemingly arrogant posture. His hands skim up my bare arms and towards the back of my neck. His lips inch closer to my face. My eyes shut involuntarily. My breathing grows slower and heavier. His lips skim over mine. The touch of his lips are soft. "I want you Isabella Maxwell," he breathes out.
His lips kiss my mouth.
It's gentle but passionate. The familiar spark that sparked during our previous first kiss is still there, but has grown stronger than ever. My hands automatically become entangled with the curls at the base of his neck. His hands move from my neck and down to my sides. With each part of my body that he touches, a fire is ignited. He wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. Keeping one hand on the base of my back, he moves his other under my shirt. It skims the bare skin of my stomach, up to the rim of my bra and down to the band of my leggings. He holds onto my hip, his fingers digging into it, causing a moan to escape my lips.
Harry takes this as an opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. The kiss is passionate and lustful, growing with each moment that passes. Every pent up emotion that we have seemingly held back from before Christmas is being poured into this moment.
Suddenly, the sound of a door slamming sounds throughout the flat. "I'm sorry! I needed to shower. I'm going to go change now Iz! Tiff called and she's running late. She'll be here in twenty minutes. We'll be going soon!" The sound of her bedroom door slams once again, causing me to push Harry away from me instinctively.
"Shit," I take a deep breath. My heart is pounding in my chest. My knees are weak. Every inch of my skin is already cold and longing his heated touch. Harry is staring at me. His green eyes dark with the passionate lust that he has for me.
"Think about what I said, Isabella. I want you and I will wait for you to end things with him. I will do everything that I can to make you mine." His words are so certain. His breathing is heavy as he speaks. He walks closer to me. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to his chest. "I know you feel what I feel. You can't deny the fucking attraction and pull that our bodies feel for one another. It's undeniable. We were meant for one another. It's time for you to pull your head out of your ass and stop being stubborn."
He leans in once more, his breath fanning over my lips. "Don't deny us, baby."
He leaves one more chaste kiss against my lips and one more on my forehead. He steps away from me, opening the bedroom door and making his way towards the front of the living room. I follow him close behind but stand far from him. Distance is needed, especially right now. Not when my hormones are racing and I'm ready to jump him here and now.
"Have a good trip." He gives me one last wink and smirk before he shuts the door behind him.
The moment Harry leaves, I let out a long breath. What the hell was that?