HOSUN was gone when she woke up. A maid helped her with her bath, and now fully awake, Jade was able to take in the magnificence of the whole house, clearly made to impress foreign dignitaries and the likes.
Their room itself was grand, golden tapestries on the walls, silk sheets, and small silver ornaments here and there. There were quite a few gorgeous paintings in the rest of the house, evidently done by someone very talented.
She had breakfast on her own, and then went into the back garden to explore. There were flowers, neatly arranged in sharp lines, all leading to a large fountain in the middle. And each line of flowers was different—from roses to lilies, but they were all either red or white, arranged in an alternating pattern.
Jade walked between a line of red roses and white to the center of the garden. The fountain was made of light stone, water forming a large pool at its base.
She sat on the edge of the fountain and put her hand into the stream of water running down. The drops were fresh and cool, flowing through her fingers and joining at the bottom.
Water could be pristine and calm, or it could be violent and thunderous. It depended on the external conditions. People generally were like that. Hosun especially. She had never seen him in combat, but she'd heard stories of Tsuchengko's fearless General. But with her, he was only her husband.
Did the leaders of the Gongjensu also have a softer side? How could they, when they had killed innocent men. Men who hadn't ever hurt them. Jade knew that soon she would have to face their sisters, mothers, fathers, brothers, and their widowed wives.
What scared her was that Jade could be in their position at any time.
She would soon see possible future versions of herself, except that their situation was even more pitiable as, while Jade knew she might lose Hosun, these women had been given no warning. It had just been announced to them that their husband was dead.
She stayed there for some time until the first few raindrops fell. She waited, letting the rain shower her—she did enjoy being outside in the rain, but not so long that she would get a cold.
She hurried inside, where a new gown was given to her. She asked for some books to pass the time and curled up on an armchair to read.
Before she knew it, it was time for lunch. Just as she was halfway through the meal, Hosun strode in, his eyes dark. Immediately, Jade knew that he hadn't had any good news.
He sat down at the table with a jolt, his shoulders slumping. "Not a single lead," he said, in a voice low enough for the servants not to hear, but Jade knew. She drew in a breath, feeling his frustration.
"It'll be okay," she promised. What else could she say? She could only offer him comfort and hope. It was always this way. She was his pillar, and she had to be strong for him.
Hosun only gave a sharp nod and began eating. Jade finished, but waited beside him, wanting to know if they would be leaving soon.
Hosun's dark mood lasted for as long as he was eating. When he finished, it was replaced by a more sorrowful, subdued one, and Jade knew that the time had come.
"We're leaving now, aren't we?" She asked. Hosun nodded, sharing a glance with her, and they walked outside into the ready carriage. They would be going to the Littoriana Captain's house, where the families would be presented with their compensation. Jade could imagine how pathetic that money would seem if she lost Hosun.
"What are going to say to them?" She asked softly.
A sigh blew out of Hosun's mouth, and his eyes met hers., "Something about how we are so sorry for their loss and many other words that won't do a thing to help them."
"Hosun, please don't blame yourself," Jade sighed.
Hosun looked away, "Whatever the case, they didn't deserve this. And I have to make some meaningless speech trying to comfort them."
"If you say it from your heart, as I know you will, then it won't be meaningless, Hosun," Jade said. After a short pause, she continued, "I know it's terrible, but all any of us can do is offer our support now. And you're doing that. You're protecting the rest of the kingdom, Hosun, but you can't protect every single person."
Hosun met her eyes once again, his face filled a sadness too old for his age, "That is my job."
Jade pressed her lips together, "You're an ordinary man, Hosun. You can't be held accountable for everything. You are doing a wonderful job protecting us, but there's only so much load you can bear."
Hosun didn't say anything, and neither did she, for a long time. Finally, he sighed, "Thank you, Jaden. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Jade smiled and moved to his side of the carriage, looking up into his eyes. She knew that at any moment Hosun might leave her, but if that was the case then she would spend as much time with him as she could.
They reached the Littoriana Captain's house, and Jade held Hosun's hand tightly as they were shown inside. Jade tried not to let her fear show as they walked inside the room, but as she looked around, her heart almost broke.
There were four women around her age- two weeping openly, one holding back her tears and one looking numb to the world. Four elderly people—two women and two men—were freely shaking as well. And three of the women were holding children—one a small baby, one a young boy of about four years old, and one an eight-year-old girl with shrewd eyes.
Jade sucked in a breath, risking a glance at Hosun. But his face was masked with a neutral expression, and Jade knew he had assumed the role of General.
He gave her hand a last squeeze and let go of it, walking to the front of the room. Jade followed him but hung to the side as he greeted the Littoriana Captain and Chiefs, all of them wearing a sorrowful expression on their faces.
Hosun cleared his throat, and the noise in the room abruptly ceased, save for a leftover sniffle. He licked his lips, taking in a deep breath, "My greetings, to all of you. We owe a great debt to the five men who died in the Gongjensu attack, one which we cannot repay. There are no words to express how sorry we are that this has happened to you. Those men did not deserve to die."
"I wish we could have prevented the attack, but we did not. Those men are heroes for Tsuchengko, and we shall never forget them. I know we cannot, in any way, compensate you for your loss—but I hope that you shall all accept a monetary award for your upkeep, and rest assured, we will do our best to provide for you in the coming times."
A soft sob cam from the corner, and Jade looked to the side to see one of the weeping women cover her mouth and lean into the arms of one of the elder women, an arm on the slight bump on her stomach.
No.
Jade's throat went dry, and her gaze flew to Hosun's who looked, in that moment, as devastated as she. They held the gaze for a moment, until Hosun looked away and Jade's eyes dropped to the floor. She didn't want to look at the others in the room, she was too ashamed. Here she was, with Hosun by her side, while these women had lost their husbands.
She looked up to see Hosun swallow harshly and clench his jaw before speaking, "Will the family of Milo Carras please step up?" One of the elderly couples, the woman holding back tears and the young boy walked forward, and Jade stepped up beside Hosun.
Hosun gave them a sack of gold coins, and the Littoriana Chiefs and Captain promised to support them for as long as they needed. Jade met the woman's watery eyes, pressing her lips together, and gave her a look that conveyed her sympathy.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, leaning forward and embracing the woman. The woman went stiff, probably shocked, before her shaky arms touched Jade's back. Jade drew away and knelt down to the little boy's level, "What's your name?"
"Milak," the boy said, in his young voice, and evidently not knowing what was going on around him.
"Well, Milak, be proud of your father. He is a hero, alright?" Jade said. The little boy nodded, and she stood up again, giving a nod to the woman and the elderly, tearful couple before they walked away.
Next was the woman with the blank expression and the eight-year-old girl with her. They were given their money, and Jade touched the woman's arm, not needing to say any words. She glanced down at the girl and leaned forward to whisper into the woman's ear, "You're very brave for being strong for your daughter. But it's okay to cry."
The woman's face trembled for a split second, and she nodded, before nudging the girl forward. Jade looked down at the girl, and couldn't imagine what she would go through, losing her father so soon.
"My father's dead," the girl said, her eyes hard. Jade nodded, the lump in her throat making it hard for her to speak. "He's not coming back," she said, more to herself that to Jade.
Jade knelt and touched the girl's chest, feeling her heartbeat below her fingertips, "Not physically, no. But he lives on here. And in your memories, and with your mother. His spirit will always be with you, even if you don't see him."
The girl didn't reply as Jade stood up and locked eyes with the woman once more before they walked away as well.
Jade comforted the rest of the families, the pregnant woman and her parents-in-law being the last of the five. Jade knew that one day she could end up like the woman, and the woman clearly knew it too.
Jade hugged her, touching her stomach lightly and letting her heartbreak for them show. The woman's shoulders shook as she wept into Jade's embrace. Jade waited, holding her tight until her sobs stilled slightly, and the woman pulled away herself.
"I wish I could help more," Jade breathed, and the woman nodded, understanding in her eyes.
Jade and Hosun waited until all the families had left before turning to the Littoriana Captain and Chiefs. Each city had one Captain, who ranked only below Hosun, and two Chiefs, who were below the Captain. They bid somber goodbyes before getting into their own carriage.
This time, they sat side-by-side, but in silence at first. Jade was thinking about the wives, the children and the parents of the murdered men, and it was when her tears finally escaped that Hosun turned to her.
"I know," he whispered, before pulling her into him, one hand tight around her waist, and one making soothing strokes on her hair as she shook even more violently. His lips touched her forehead gently, and Jade's heart physically ached at the thought of losing him.
"We might—we might become like that, Hosun," she said, barely able to get the words out. Hosun's fingers tightened even more as he nodded.
"There are always risks, Jaden. Aren't you the one that says everything will be alright?"
"I—I know," Jade said, pulling away slightly, but close enough to remain in his arms. "I just don't want to lose you."
"Remember what you told that girl? Whatever happens, I will always be with you in spirit. And if we are lucky, I will be with you in body as well," Hosun said, his voice soft.
Jade nodded, looking into his eyes, "I know. I love you, Hosun."
Hosun pulled her back into his embrace, his voice slightly muffled by her hair, "And I love you, Jaden."
I almost cried, I swear. That was so sad for me to write. The next chapter's pretty surprising, too, so stay tuned! Don't forget to:
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