Efflorescence

Chapter one 

The ISB isn't a place you ever want to visit. Trust me on that one. Lying awake in the hard bed, I thought back to before my parents left me in this mental institution. I was just so different. I didn't fit in then, and I sure as hell don't fit in now. Now they treat me like a serial killer in a jail cell, restricted and always - always - being watched. Then, as if it was planned, a snake slithered in from under the bed: a snake that had visited me every night for as long as I can remember: a deadly black snake with a bloody-red diamond back: a snake that only I could see. Nobody came running in as an attempt to kill her, but there was a stampede of people's feet hitting the floor as they rushed in to see what I was screaming about. You would think I'd be used to her by now, but seeing a man with a large needle aiming at me still scared me less than the snake I had named years back: Killer. I had decided that Killer was a she when I was about 5, after seeing her brilliant colors. As the needle penetrated my skin, I felt a burning for almost a second. Then, it was replaced with feelings of calmness. They had me on pills upon pills, but no medicine could ever stop Killer from visiting me at night. That's when they decided to use injections as a last resort. Although it made the screaming stop, it didn't make her go away. It blurred my vision, making the diamonds look more like circles and spinning my mind. I could already feel my eyes starting to droop, and before I knew it, I fell into a deep sleep filled with nightmares.

Chapter two 

"Zella!" a woman's voice that I wasn't familiar with screeched my name. It was fingernails rapping a chalkboard. I think I screamed for her to shut up, but I wasn't sane long enough to find out; the voices took over. "Zella... Zella... Zell..." they cackled madly. I fell to the floor from the bed, hands over my ears, desperately trying to make it go away. "STOP!" I shrieked as I felt cold hands clasp my arm. They started screaming bloody murder. No apparent reason, they were just being loud. They were going to blow my eardrums out.

Chapter three 

Whenever I woke again, I was strapped to a stretcher. Once my mind finally processed what was happening, I realized I was in the back of an ambulance. I allowed my eyes to focus around me. I noticed a boy sitting in the corner, and recognized him instantly as Sam, the guy who rode in the back with me the first time I was in an ambulance. I was being transported to the ISB a few weeks ago, but it seemed like years. "Where to?" I asked slowly. He looked up at me, careful not to make any sudden movements. He knew me too well; I'm sure the nurses told him about my episode earlier. "An advanced version of the ISB," he responded with no emotion. Now I guess would be a good time to tell you what the ISB is. It stands for Institution for Schizophrenic Behaviors (A.K.A. Insane Psycho Bitches). As you have probably figured out by now, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia (also, EDNOS, depression, anxiety, and I often self-harm; what a mix). My parents disowned me along with my diagnosis'. Summary: My name is Zella, and I am screwed up. "What do you mean 'advanced'?" I asked, freaking out a little. "Probably just more security. You are a hand full, sweety," he gave me a slight smirk. Maybe you're wondering why he was telling me all of these things, well, Sam was my older brother.

Chapter four 

Sam insisted on escorting me into the building, but a tall, lanky woman in a red turtle neck made it happen otherwise. Sam kissed me on the cheek and then the woman summoned a man over to me. I watched Sam climb into the ambulance with a sad expression, and disappear into the night. Although the overcast stole the stars' light, the moon still shone through enough for me to see the slick glare of the sky-scraping, metal, picket fence. The man walked up to me with a harsh expression glued on his face. "Zella Chandler," he said my name bluntly like a teacher calling roll. I was tempted to look around, act confused, and say "Nope, it doesn't look like she's here today," in the most sarcastic voice I could manage. Since, I had to admit, I was scared to be in these people's hands for the next - who knows how long - I settled for "That would be me." I didn't think it was possible, but his face hardened. I turned back to look into pure nothingness as the man started to talk. The only words I caught were "My name is Oliver Wade, but you will address me as Mr. Wade or Sir at all times. I am the head of the adolescent unit here in the improved version of the Institution for Schizophrenic Behavior. We have a zero tolerance policy for nonsense," before I tuned him out. I would catch up on all the info later. I tried as hard as I could to keep my guard up at all times, but I was not expecting the man I now knew as Mr. Wade (or Sir) to grab my wrist. He couldn't have lightly touched it to get my attention, no, he had to clutch it in his rough hand and squeeze. I swallowed a scream and jumped backwards. I could feel my jacket lining sticking to my unhealed cuts. "I'd advise you not to disrespect authority," He said sternly. I nodded slowly.

Chapter five 

Surprisingly, I didn't cry. As overwhelmed and stunned I was with this whole situation, I managed to hold myself together. I would say Mr. Wade guided me, but he more or less pushed and dragged me, where he wanted me go. I started to have suspicions that he was in charge of more than he let me know. We came to a corner enclosed with a thick blue curtain. Behind it was a large nurse sitting in a rolling chair with a pen and clipboard. "You're going to have to take off your clothes," she informed me as I stepped in. "Why?" I asked uncomfortably. "I'm supposed to check you for any bruises, cuts, and/or scars. Mandatory procedure," she answered bluntly. "Um," I said taking off my shirt. Her eyes were immediately glued to my mutilated body. She marked on her paper for a long time. Then, she took my shoelaces, clothes with strings, and anything else she thought I might be able to harm myself with. I finally had someone bring me to my new unit.

Chapter six 

There were two supervisors in the room that I entered. An older lady with a long black skirt on greeted me at the door. An African American guy who couldn't have been older than 20 was right behind her, both of whom had forced-looking smiles on their faces. I noticed that there were no people in the area, so I stole a glance at the large clock. It read 11:24 P.M., and I assumed that we had a bedtime here as we did at the old ISB. The lady showed me what there was to see of the unit: a long hallway which contained multiple rooms and two bathrooms - one for girls and one for boys. There was also a long curved desk where the doctor worked, and my eyes caught the word "histrionic" and "panic attacks" on a white forum. The doctor glared at me, taking his eyes away from the computer screen displaying surveillance cameras of each room. I made a mental note to myself to always change in the bathrooms where there - thank God - were no cameras.

Chapter seven 

The lady left me to my room. Technically, it wasn't my room; I had to share with some blonde chick that was asleep in the bed next to mine. There wasn't one ounce of color in the entire room, everything was white. Not that there was much in there to be colorful anyway. The room contained two small beds with two, also small, tables in the middle that was split into three drawers. My parents didn't pack much for me anyway: just a couple t-shirts, a pair of jeans, and a pair of pajama pants (Which the lady behind the curtain cut the strings off of). It took me a second before I realized I was staring out of the huge window, parallel with the heavy door. I crawled into the bed next to it and covered my entire body with the blanket. I heard muttering and I was sure it was my voices before I uncovered my face to see a wide eyed girl staring at me. "Um... hi?" I was wondering what her problem was.

Chapter eight 

"Why are you here?" she snapped. "The same reason everyone else is?" I said rubbing my temples. "I'm here for a different reason than everyone else. I am not a freak. I'm better than all of you. It was them! They told me so! It must be true!" She practically spat. It was way too late at night for all this. She can't possibly honestly think that hearing "them" (which I guessed was her voices) is normal, can she? If I didn't know better, I'd think she was shallow and self-centered. Then I remembered what I saw on the doctor's desk. I knew Histrionic people crave attention, for whatever reason, so I decided she can have it from everyone besides me. I just needed her to shut up. "Okaaaay," I said rolling over on my side to face the window. I don't know how long she babbled before her voice was replaced by hissing. In a way, seeing Killer was soothing, as much as she terrified me, it was still good to know one thing would never change.

Chapter nine  

I was woken up by one of the two nurses. She was short and had thick brown hair that came down to her shoulders. It reminded me of a rats nest. She didn't shake me, and even though she spoke in a low whisper, her voice still pierced my ears and sent chills down my spine. I pretended not to hear her until I could feel her coming closer. "My name is Mrs. Kimberly, it's time to get up," she said in a high pitched voice. Didn't they know not to startle me by now? I jumped out of bed in a swift movement and watched as the nurse backed away. I told her to save her breath on all of the "Good morning sunshine" bullshit. She told me to sit on the bench and get ready to have my vital signs taken.

Chapter ten 

Still uneasy from the feeling of the blood pressure cup making my blood pump through my veins rapidly, the nurses finally got me to sit down. The main room was rather large and had a couple of hard couches, two rectangular tables on either side of the room, a few plastic chairs, and the most comfortable thing in the room: a small wooden bench with a thin layer of cushion. Being the selfish girl that I was, I laid on the bench and closed my eyes.  

**** 

Someone tapped on the top of my head, then again, and again. I noticed the sound of plastic clashing lingering in my eardrum. I could practically feel the strands of my hair rising then falling down onto the back of my neck. Then there were hands; they tugged at my clothes. They grabbed at my wrists and pulled, making my cuts tear open. Blood leaked down my arm and the hands started slashing. But by bit I was ripped open. I felt the stone-hard, cold floor pressed against my body, and I started to shiver. The hands still worked at a rapid pace; my shivering turned into trembling, shaking, violently thrashing around. And then it just stopped.

Chapter eleven  

Whenever my eyes reopened, I was in a room with no walls; it was made of windows. I sat up in the softest surface I've laid in in a long while. I could see the doctor's desk, from the back, and the main room faintly. I noticed a tray of food beside me. Of course, I didn't actually see the food. Just little numbers that represented its worth, and frankly, the numbers were too damn high. I took the mount of empty calories out of my line of sight. As soon as an old man in a white shirt noticed I was getting up, he rushed to my side. If only they got paid for effort, and not by the hour. I got up and walked past him, back into the main room. I saw a tall man with big blue eyes yelling at a boy who looked very much like a jock. After hearing his name called about 800 times in 5 minutes, I finally learned that it was Jonah. I studied all of the faces in the room and realized that we all had the same illness. The thought in itself was sickening. (Get it? Illness? Sickening? Okay, bad pun). "So, what's your name?" A nerdy looking girl, with dark brown hair and freckles suddenly asked me. "Zella," I responded as she pushed up her square glasses. "You know, I feel really bad for you," she said. "Why?" I snapped, irritated. "Your roommate" she replied, a bit taken aback by my tone. I laughed and her look of concern vanished. "How come every time I open my eyes there are two new adults 'supervising' us?" I made finger quotations in the air. "Well, the nurses get here at midnight then leave around 7 after checking our vitals, then we have the old man, Mr. Lachlan, and the younger one Mr. Rolands, and from 4 In the afternoon To midnight We have Mr. Edwin and Mrs. McGrath," she stated pretending to gasp for breath. "Such a vicious cycle," I remarke; the girl smiled. "It's time for group therapy, everyone have a seat," said Mr. Roland. The girl with the glasses sat next to me on the bench. "Hey. I told you my name, what's yours?" I whispered to her. "Leia," she mouthed back.

Chapter twelve 

A short woman with hard features and pixie cut black hair sat with perfect posture in one of the plastic chairs in the middle of the room. "My name is Ms. Jane. To start of this session, I would like for all of you to say your name and one fact about yourself. Young lady, will you start?" She asked in a commanding voice gesturing at me. "My name is Zella," I started, seeing around 20 eyes staring at me, including Leia. I bit my nails nervously. "C'mon we don't have all day!" She said impatiently, and I heard mutters of agreement among the others. "My name is Zella, and I have a feeling I'm going to hate you," I finished. It wasn't too bright of me to say that, but honestly, I don't think I could've controlled myself if I tried. Leia burst into a laughing fit along with a lightly-complected boy with straight, black hair wearing dark jeans and a white V-neck shirt. I shot them both a quick smile. "Okay. Your turn, smart ass," She fumed at Leia. "My name is Leia and I agree with Zella," she stated coldly. I couldn't blame Leia, though. At least she had an excuse for being disrespectful. I thought Ms. Jane was about to blow a fuse; and so it went, for the rest of the therapy hour people said amusing things. Well, they were funny to me. The only one who took it serious was Miss "My name is Carlie," she flipped her too-short bangs back, "and I have a passion for fixing my hair," Can you guess who that was? Why, my lovely roommate of course. I was just glad she did something with her life besides antagonize people. The pale boy who laughed at me earlier said, "My name is Alec and I don't want to be here." "Same," almost everyone chimed in. This had me clutching my stomach in hysteria until Ms. Jane concluded, "If you weren't such a freak, you wouldn't be."

Chapter thirteen 

After my oh-so-affective counseling session, Leia and I watched Carlie slut around. It was pretty funny actually, but Alec was practically drooling. "She needs a leash or something," I told Leia. I heard some of the other kids groaning about being hungry, and I had a reality check. I zoned out of what Leia was saying and put my hand on my stomach. I really hoped they wouldn't force-feed me. Maybe I could pretend to fall asleep or maybe nobody told them to make me eat. Maybe they'd fall for the typical "I'm not hungry"; they didn't seem too intelligent. "Zella?" Leia broke my train of thought. "Oh, sorry, what is it?" I asked trying not to sound as confused as I was. "Food's here Zell," she said shifting her attention to the white to-go boxes. I stayed put as everyone got in line to eat. These kids were a bunch of pigs. It was dinner and Mr. Edwin and Mrs. McGrath had the shift. Jonah and another boy I didn't know the name of started pushing and shoving each other. The other boy punched Jonah in his chest, causing him to bang the back of his head against the wall. Jonah swung for the boy's head, but he caught Jonah by his wrist and twisted. Mrs. McGrath got to them before Mr. Edwin, and somehow broke it up. "Don't you ever," she spat at the two boys "Jonah, Amare, fight again and see if I don't put you in isolation for a week. I started thinking that maybe I should get into a fight until Mrs. McGrath yelled at me to get my ass up and in line. I figured that, even being an old lady, she wasn't one that you should mess around with. I got into the line obediently.

Chapter fourteen 

There were a couple of boys extremely willing to eat my food for me without a single complaint. After everyone were finished stuffing their faces, Mrs. McGrath took me, Leia, Carlie, an Asian girl I remembered as Miki, and the oldest girl, Skylar, to the showers. I just knew I was in prison, then. In the old ISB, we had little walls separating the showers where we could change in private, but here, only the showers themselves were concealed. I grabbed one of the medicine cups filled with shampoo and headed for the shower against the wall, because it was the furthest away from everyone and was the biggest. Skylar pushed past me, making me drop my shampoo all over my pants, and took the last stall. I considered making a scene, but resisted, remembering how much bigger she was than me. After I showered, I somehow managed to dry off and get dressed without one person seeing me. Well, with the exemption of Mrs. McGrath, which was a bit freaky, considering that she sat in a plastic chair and "supervised" us as we showered. I picked up the box with my name on it that contained my brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. I stepped into the girls' bathroom. Then, I shut the door behind me and looked into the mirror. I ran the brush through my almost waist length, layered, red hair. I towel dried it and turned back to the mirror. My foggy grey eyes had traces of black makeup smeared under them and I quickly removed it, painfully, I might add, with a wet rag. After all, who did I have to impress? I felt a wave of nausea. I was so strung out on medicine that I could hardly think, and it was not making anything better. It doesn't make a difference. I'm still a freak, only one on drugs. Everything was so complicated. Constantly, I had to worry about my weight and how I was going to get out of this place and how everyone looked at me like I had just murdered 25 people. It was just all so much, and I needed a release. Before I could stop myself, I had already punched the mirror. I heard the clink of sharp glass hitting the floor.

Chapter fifteen 

Just like that, my voices greeted me. I realized what I had done when bright red blood dripped from my wrist. I didn't even know why I did it. It seemed like a way out of my thoughts, the only way out. No one wants me; no one cares I tortured myself. "Just one more cut, darling," my voices assured. I picked up another shard of glass and pressed it to my skin with force. I went for the lethal cut, making my way up my arm. I didn't know what I was doing, but in that moment there were no voices but my own. I wasn't being influenced, it was all me. Then I saw myself in the remaining piece of the mirror: a fragile girl lying on the bathroom floor soaked in tears and blood. I closed my eyes and all I saw was red. The scarlet deepened into darkness. Even that made me dizzy. Am I dead? I couldn't tell. Am I going to go to Heaven or am I damned to hell? Is this the end? What comes next? I didn't have time to think about how scared I actually was. I felt myself being moved and realized I was still conscious. Why can't I see? I heard terrified, bloodcurdling screams. I felt blind, but I could hear perfectly fine, and I was being talked to; although, I ignored whoever it was. I wanted to pass out and never wake up. What am I supposed to do now? My voices returned, and it sounded like a lullaby.

Chapter sixteen 

I don't remember falling asleep, but whenever I woke up I was back in my bed by the window. I sat up and noticed my wrists bandaged with gauze and tape. "Everyone knows you did it for attention," Carlie said evenly. I turned to face her and glared, "Look, I just woke up. Piss off for a few hours, yeah?" "No one feels sorry for you, just stop," she continued, faking a sweet-heart voice. "You have some nerve," I said yawning. "At least I'm not psychotic and needy," she taunted. That was enough for me. Who does this bitch think she is? In a matter of seconds, I was on top of her. I punched her in her jaw as hard as I could, and I heard a pleasurable crack. She tried digging her nails into my arm but I punched her again, this time square in her nose. Blood streamed down onto her lip. She started kicking madly and got one good one into my chest. I threw her against the wall and watched, wickedly, as she slid down to the floor. "Do not talk to me like that," I growled, stalking out of the room. I decided not to hurt her too bad, but damn, the look on her face. I couldn't stop smiling. I saw Alec staring at me wide eyed, then he grinned, and I did as well.

Chapter seventeen 

I was informed by one of the nurses, Mrs. Kimberly, that I would be on lock-down from here on out. Two days of "supervision" and I had managed to break a girls jaw (and nose), and succeeded in self destruction. Leia and I joked about the neck brace that Carlie had to wear. That night, Mrs. McGrath took all of the kids down to eat in the cafeteria except for Alec and I. Apparently my behavior had been extremely unacceptable and I deserved to be punished. I didn't mind it; Mr. Edwin didn't make me eat and there were no obnoxious people around. Alec and I didn't speak; I sat and thought while he started blankly at the celling. "So, what's your story, Zella?" He finally broke the silence by asking. "You don't want to know" I replied looking at my bandaged wrists. "Do you want to know what I did to have to stay in here?" he asked pulling up a chair next to mine.

Chapter eighteen 

"Nothing; I had nothing better to do," he answered himself, "especially in that lunchroom." I laughed at him for a little while. "I have honestly never heard anyone reference The Breakfast Club as a pickup line," I mused. "Who said it was a pickup line?" he asked jokingly. "You never denied it," I replied. I could not believe this. I was actually flirting. With a real life boy. In real life. With a boy. "You're neat, Zella. I like the way you look at things." He said, and for once, I actually looked at him. He had black, straight hair that fell above his emerald green eyes. He was well put together, muscular. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, he was kind of attractive. Okay, extremely attractive, and a bit familiar.

Chapter nineteen  

It had been three or four days since I first arrived in this treacherous place. I hadn't eaten either, and I could already imagine the beautiful outcome. I stared at the dark ceiling above me, trying not to think about Killer. I closed my eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to sleep. After I don't know how long, it felt like hours, I finally built up the courage to reopen my eyes. I looked around, but didn't see anything abnormal. Then I felt it slither across my body. I froze, the serpent had never come too close to me, much less touch me. I couldn't move a single muscle. I felt cold, scaly skin around my neck. I need to get up I thought to myself. If I don't get up right now, I'm going to die. I thought for a minute how that wouldn't be too bad, and felt fangs pierce my throat.

Chapter twenty 

I saw images, images of everything. My dad was before me, fighting with my mother. He turned around and faced me with a murderous look. He clutched a kitchen knife to my mom's throat. A tiny stream of crimson leaked onto the metal. I saw my brother yelling at my dad. I watched as my dad threw a punch and Sam pulled out his pistol. I saw myself as a younger kid, hugging tight to my teddy bear in bed. My dad crept in and flipped on the lights. He pushed me off onto the floor, making me tear my nightgown so I crawled to the wall. I tried to cover my face with my hands, but my dad sent a fist plunging right into it. Then I saw Killer, watching me as I slept, and that's when I realized they weren't images, they were memories.

Chapter twenty-one  

I started screaming. I sounded pathetic and horrified. I could still feel Killer's sharp teeth digging into my throat. I felt warm tears streaming down my face. "Somebody, please, make it stop!" I shrieked. I struggled to gain control of myself. Finally, I did; I sat up and started running out of the room. Carlie was sitting up staring at me with her mouth dropped. Killer hung from my neck. "Make it STOP!" I screamed as loud as I could. Another voice yelled the same thing with a split second delay. Then a needle was injected into me once again.

Chapter twenty-two 

Alec was next to me, and we were both bound tightly to a bed by thick straps. We physically could not move. "What are you doing here?" He asked calmly. "What are YOU doing here?" I responded instantly. "I had a bad dream and ... you know.". I wasn't sure if he was lying, and I didn't feel like deciphering his sentences. Once we were released, we were allowed to remain in the front room together. "Zella, the doctor needs to see you for a moment," Mrs. Josephson shouted to me. It was still the middle of the night and I was sure I had woken up everyone in the unit. The doctor was a young woman with light blonde hair in a ponytail. She didn't even introduce herself. "Zella, you are to eat every time food is served from now on," she threatened then dismissed me.  

I walked back into the main room and sat a few feet from Alec. "What was that dream about?" I asked him slowly. It took him a while to respond, then, he said "a snake."

Chapter twenty-three  

I stared at the steaming plate of scrambled eggs, a flaky biscuit, greasy bacon, and sugar-drenched oatmeal. "There's no way I'm eating this," I said with confidence. Mrs. Josephson was practically huffing on the back of my neck. I was in the main room for breakfast and everyone else had finished scarfing down their food. I unwillingly picked up my fork and poked around at the eggs. I finally took a bite and almost spit it right back out. It tasted almost as disgusting as it looked. Mrs. Josephson stood behind me grinning. As unappetizing as the food was, I couldn't deny my cravings. The binge was horrible, so I'll spare you the details. Once I was finished pigging out, I walked over to where Alec and Leia were engaged in a conversation. "Oh, you're gonna love gym!" Leia teased, smiling with teeth in perfect unison. "Gym?" I asked stupidly.

Chapter twenty-four 

Mr. Rolands made us line up in a single file line and took us to the gym. I hadn't been outside since my arrival, and the weather didn't fit the situation at hand. The sun shone into the black gate and concrete. I got a glimpse of the adult unit because they were outside in luscious green grass sitting at stone tables. The only thing that seemed right was the frowns on everyone's face. Mr. Roland's typed in passwords, scanned his ID, and unlocked doors almost every four yards. Leia looked at me, "may the accused present her case," she said mimicking a court judge. I laughed and noticed Alec walking by himself, emotionless. He looked as if he was staring into outer space, as if he was in another world. "Alec?" I asked cautiously. Then his lips were moving, he was saying things under his breath that were too low for anyone to hear. Then his face changed back to normal. "Sorry, just daydreaming, that's all," he said but he still had an odd glow in his green eyes.

Chapter twenty-five  

As we walked into the gym, the instructor told us to call him coach. Coach was a fat man wearing too short athletic shorts and a too tight T-shirt. He was the stereotypical coach all right. He blew his whistle and started to give orders. "Boys on this side! Girls on the other! Boys chose your balls first!" I cracked an inappropriate joke louder than I intended to. Coach's face turned the color of a bright red apple. His triple chins all lit up evenly. "That's not to be said!" He shouted defensively. "I was just verbalizing what we all were thinking," I stated swiftly. I thought he deserved a chorus of "ooooo" and "owwwnneedd!" Even Mr. Rolands had to smother a chuckle. Leia and I walked over to the girls' side of the gym. "YOU'RE PHENOMENAL!" She worshipped. I grinned and she threw me the ball. Carlie and Skylar were arguing. "Wait. I cannot do sports," I said truthfully. "Just dribble and shoot!" Leia encouraged. I started incorrectly dribbling the basketball. All the girls from the unit joined in. A dark skinned girl with shoulder length black hair stole the ball from me with ease. I was going to let it slide, but Coach gave me an unexplainable look so I raced after her and stole it back before she could score. I stood there awkwardly for a second before making a shot. The ball went right through the hoop. "You're such a cheater," The girl said with her hands on her hips. Skylar and Carlie stood behind her. "You obviously don't know how to play. Don't stand there like you're a professional!" She said in a harsh tone, attracting the rest of the girls from the unit to stand on the sideline and watch the chaos. "What?" I said quietly. "Did I stutter?!" I didn't want to check, no I'd look weak, but I was relieved when I felt Leia tap the back of my hand, almost as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.

Chapter twenty-six 

"No one even likes you!" The girl complained and I stared at her. One guy joined her little riot. I saw Alec walk over and stand beside me. "What the hell is going on?" He asked roughly eyeing the girl. "None of your concern!" She threw back at him. "Actually, April, it is my concern whenever you're starting bullshit with my friends!" He said angrily, and I got the feeling that I knew him again. "You're just taking up for her because you want to get in her pants!" "SHUT UP YOU BITCH!" Leia screamed. At the same time, Leia and I charged into the group, fists clenched. April jumped back in surprise as Leia caught her in the face. I wanted to cheer. A boy came up behind me and put me in a not-so-sturdy headlock. What was this? April's disciples or something? Where was coach? I did a twist jump and rammed my head into his jaw. I heard his teeth clasp together. He let go of me in pain. Alec was holding his own with a couple guys much less muscular than him. I did a karate kid kick into the back of one of their heads. Leia was still kicking April's ass. The next thing I knew, the guy who had put me in a headlock had a gun to Leia's head.

Chapter twenty-seven 

I didn't have time to wonder how he got the gun in; I just knew it didn't look good pressed to Leia's temple. Blood ran down the guy's mouth. He looked absently at us, "yes, yes I will, her then myself," He answered to someone that no one else could hear. The next thing I did was mad. I lunged for the gun just as he pulled the trigger. I got Leia out of his grasp while everyone gawked. "Try turning the safety off next time," I mumbled blowing on the barrel of the pistol. Coach reached for it, but I didn't think I trusted him with a firearm in range of me, so I handed it to Mr. Rolands. April was still standing in a matter-of-factly stance. "That's enough gym for today!" Mr. Rolands suggested wisely.

Chapter twenty-eight 

Once we were all back to the unit, April and I were called into the doctor's office. "Hi, Miss Sally!" April greeted her sweetly. So that's her name. "Hey April!" Mrs. Sally responded with a smile, "I heard there was some trouble in the gym earlier, do you mind telling me your role in it?" "Sure," April answered quickly. I got ready to contradict everything she said. "We were in the gym playing a friendly game of basketball. Zella stole the ball from me and attempted to shoot and missed. I tried to encourage her to do better next time, but she got upset and attacked me!" April lied. I couldn't control my laughter, but on the inside I was fuming. "That was a nice little fairy tale, now let me tell you what really happened-" I began but Mrs. Sally cut me off. "April has already told me what happened and I have no reason not to believe her." She said in a case closed tone. I sat back in the chair with my arms behind my head and stared at the ugly popcorn ceiling. The doctor left to go answer the ringing phone.

Chapter twenty-nine 

April smirked at me, "What a fool." "She reminds me of you," I said impulsively. "Oh Zella, one day you'll learn. Everyone hates you. Your hair is a mess, your face makes me, and everyone around you, cringe," She said downgrading. "I don't know why Alec bothers with you, you're worthless. You're just a huge waste of space; maybe if you lost some weight you could make room for more important people," She continued and I looked down. She was completely right of course. I felt my eyes starting to blur and I blinked back tears. "Go ahead and cry. No one gives a care about you." She finished right as the doctor came back and let us go.

Chapter thirty 

The worst part is: I was forced to eat dinner too. Lying in bed, I felt sick and disgusting. I sat up and looked over at Carlie, realizing she had competition if she wanted to be on my "Most Hated" list. Maybe if I was thin and beautiful I could do something with my life. I ran my hands along the thick white bandages on my wrist. I got up silently and walked out. I didn't have to lie to anyone because the nurses were asleep in arm chairs. I wondered what Mr. Wade would've thought of that. I snuck in the bathroom and closed the door tightly. There was a dim nightlight in the electric socket so I didn't bother flipping the big switch. I took my shirt off and knelt in front of the toilet. I put my fingers down my throat as far as I could and gagged. I tried again and failed, but in the third time I finally purged. Again, I'll spare you all the details, but it wasn't a pleasant sight. Whenever I finished, I was empty and exhausted. I laid on the floor and realized I should probably hydrate myself and head off to bed, but I couldn't make myself get up, I heard the door creak open.

Chapter 31: 

I was expecting one of the nurses to come and begin shouting at me, but instead it was Alec who walked in. I gasped and threw my shirt back on. "What are you doing, Zella?" He asked shutting the door. "It's nothing," I responded sitting up against the wall. I put my knees to my chest, shaking a little. He decided not to push it and sat down next to me on the floor. "You do realize you're in the girls' bathroom, right?" I asked him with dull humor. "Yep," "And you do realize what everyone will think if they catch us in here, right?" "Yep, but who cares what they think?" Alec had a good point. "They sent the boy with the gun away," He said and relief flooded through me. We sat in silence for a few minutes. "I brought you something," he said pulling gauze from his pocket "They don't change your bandages enough; it'll get infected." He said in a [caring?] way. "Oh," was all I managed to say. He slid his hand underneath mine and lifted my arm from around my knees. Any other time, I would have had a tantrum, but I couldn't even breathe now. He gently started undoing my old bandages. Once they were all tossed in the garbage, Alec covered them with paper towels. By the time he sat back down, I was trying to conceal my cuts. Since he had already seen them, there wasn't a reason for trying. My hair hung over my eyes, but I could still feel his fingers slightly trace the slits on my wrist. I tensed up, but it wasn't all a bad kind of tense. He ran his fingers through my hair and tucked it behind my ear. "Why do you do this to yourself?" He asked softly. He lifted my chin up and my eyes met his beautiful green ones. "I'm sorry," I whispered innocently. Instead of responding, he started rewrapping my wrist. I didn't know what to do. I almost wanted him to take me into his arms so I didn't have to see his expression anymore. It gave me butterflies, but I'd never tell him that. "I'm glad you didn't leave," he said in a quiet voice staring at my bandages, and I knew exactly what he meant. "I wish I could say the same" I said trailing off.

Chapter thirty-two  

Killer followed me back into the room. Silently.. As if I didn't know he could strike in any minute and I'd be gone. Free from pain, but he wouldn't do it. I was lost, alone, and confused. I was naive for thinking I could ever allow Alec to help me. He's too kindhearted; he's too sweet. I'd just wind up hurting him. My life isn't a Disney movie, or anything close to it. There is no such thing as love or happy endings. Death is the only pleasurable ending. I'd finally be nothing, as I have been all along. Alec shouldn't even be around me. I didn't deserve it, but I couldn't keep myself from thinking about the way he carefully ran his fingers along my wrist. Most people either completely ignore it, or stare without trying to hide curiosity, inquisitive, but never truly caring. They're interested in me as if I'm an animal on display, but Alec doesn't treat me that way. What he said: I'm glad you didn't leave. Someone was happy that I wasn't dead. That was a first.

Chapter thirty-three 

The next day, it was raining again. Water droplets clung to the large window. Alec, Leia, and I sat under it in a triangle format. "Zella?" She asked me. "Yeah?" "Thanks, for saving me." I almost winced at the memory. "You would've done the same for me," I replied modestly, "Besides, I owed you after what you did to April's face." Leia and I laughed, and Alec showed an unconvincing smile. I tried to ignore the pit feeling in my stomach. "Everyone line up, we're going down to the cafeteria" Mr. Lachlan called. "Even me?" I asked doubtfully. "Just line up," Mr. Roland chimed in. "I'm not feeling well," Alec said. "I'll stay with you while Mr. Lachlan takes the rest to eat," Mr. Roland responded. I was disappointed that Alec wasn't coming, but then I reminded myself not to care.

Chapter thirty-four 

Leia and I walked into the cafeteria side by side. The floors were large square tiles and the walls were smaller, rhombus shaped tiles. To the right of a door, there was a curved area of glass that concealed the food. Four ladies in hair nets stood behind it. There were around 30 long tables in the room. I followed Leia's lead as we each picked up a plastic red tray. Instead of the greasy breakfast they usually serve to the rooms, down here I had a choice to have cereal. I walked down to the drink station and poured chocolate milk into my frosted flakes. "You eat chocolate milk in your cereal? Gross!" Leia exclaimed. "Suit yourself," I replied taking a bite. "Remind me again why you're skinny?" I asked as she took a huge bite of pancake.

Chapter thirty-five 

Whenever we got back from the cafeteria, Alec was in the bathroom throwing up. When he finally came out, his long black hair was sticking up, and he looked paler than usual. I wondered if that's how I looked last night. "Holy hell, are you okay?" I asked him showing more concern than I intended. "103 degree fevers do this to you," he said sitting down on the bench and gesturing to himself. Miss Sally walked over to us. "Go away, Zella! I don't need two sick kids, and Alec, take this medicine," she ordered giving Alec a medicine cup. I glared at her and Alec sent me an apologetic glance. I walked away as fast as I could before I melted.

Chapter thirty-six 

A few hours later, I was in the warm shower. The water ran down my back and I relaxed. It really was a shame we weren't allowed to have razors because I really needed to shave. I scrubbed my hair with shampoo then rinsed it out. I fought back nausea and hurriedly got out of the shower. I got dressed into my fuzzy black pajama pants and a white t-shirt with the bolded words "music" written across it. My hair had grown almost an inch since I'd been here and it hung loose. My head started throbbing painfully and I sat down by Leia on the couch. Alec was fast asleep on the bench. He looked at ease whenever he was asleep. His features were softer, and he reminded me of an angel. I shook the thought and tried to focus on what Leia was saying. "Alec has to like you," she said confidently "Once you left to shower, he started looking really sick and tired but as soon as you walked up to him earlier he put on a smile and toughed it out!" She concluded. "Awwwww! That's so sweet!" She answered herself. I just stared at her, smiling stupidly, "Stop shipping us." Her face lit up, "Zalec!"

Chapter thirty-seven 

That night, I was on the bathroom floor again. I was nauseous, and for once, I wasn't making myself that way. I knew I was running fever and I was shivering. Everything on my body hurt. Once again, Alec walked into the bathroom. He didn't look much better than earlier. I didn't know what to say. "Feeling bad?" He asked sitting next to me and putting his hand on my forehead. "Nah, I'm lying on the bathroom floor because I like the smell," I said sarcastically, smiling a little. He didn't return the smile. For a few minutes we sat there in the usual silence. Then I felt another pang of nausea and leaned over the toilet. Alec slowly moved up behind me and held my hair back, frowning. After a few minutes of throwing my guts up, I put my mouth under the sink faucet and washed the taste from my mouth. Alec watched without saying a word. "This is gross. I'm gross. You should head off to bed," I said miserably. He shook his head "You aren't gross, Zella; you're sick. You can't help it." I shrugged. "I'll be right back," he said stepping out.

Chapter thirty-eight  

Whenever he returned, which I had myself convinced he wasn't going to, he was carrying a medicine cup of PeptoBismol. "I guess you're a full time doctor now," I said gulping down the thick liquid and almost gagging. "Something like that," he mused. "Why do you even bother helping me?" I asked him. He hesitated, "I don't know." I looked up at him to see what I thought was a troubled flicker in his eyes. I heard deep hissing sound, Alec and I both jerked our heads to see killer.

Chapter 39: 

I looked back at Alec, "You can see it too," I said. Spiders started crawling from the cracks in the room. Millions of them scurried across the floor to reach me. I started to scream but felt Alec's hand over my mouth. He was trying to suffocate me. Right as the spiders touched my skin, they disappeared in puffs of smoke. They stopped seeping in through the walls. I heard a jabbing sound and Alec fell into a puddle of blood. I looked into the mirror and placed my hand on my reflection. There was a squeaking noise as I drug it downwards, leaving streaks of scarlet. I looked at the knife in the sink. It had my fingerprints.

Chapter forty 

My eyes saw Alec with a look of deep concern. Beside him was a needle: an empty injection needle. I tried to scramble to my feet, but realized Alec had his arms around me tightly. "What are you doing?!" I exclaimed. "I had to do something," he said looking guilty. "What happened?" I shouted at him. "You started screaming and shaking" he stopped himself.. "So you put a fucking needle into me?! You don't know what you're doing!" I didn't realize I was still in his arms until he got up. Alec picked up the needle and walked out. I put my face in my hands and heard a door slam. I hoped no one would wake up. I adjusted myself against the wall and had an idea.

Chapter forty-one 

My mind and body filled with excitement. I could leave! I tiptoed over to where Mrs. Kimberly was drooling in her chair, and with a pang of reality I saw that the keys weren't there. I frowned and rubbed my eyebrow. "Think" I whispered to myself. I saw the keys dangling out of her pocket. I walked over to her and started breathing into her ear. I held my hand out and caught the keys as she moved to get comfortable again. I was quiet, very, very quiet as not to awake them. Once the keys were in my possession, I silently scanned the nurses ID under the unit door. It opened without a single delay. I heard the patter of feet behind me and I froze. I felt someone's hand spin me around. "Where are you going?" Alec asked with a smile tugging at his lower lip. "What does it matter to you?" I asked stubbornly. "What did you think you were going to do once you reached the front desk? Then what if you got outside? You'd freeze before you could take three steps," He said logically. "Ugh!" I groaned as I stomped back into my room, throwing the keys at Alec's chest. He caught them with a smirk.

Chapter forty-two  

Whenever you're locked up, you forget your purpose for living. I thought of this as I sat with Leia and Alec on either side of me. It was time for our daily "therapy" session that nobody ever got anything out of. Mrs. Jane walked into the main room and cleared her throat. Leia rolled her eyes at the same time as I did. "Today, we will talk about each of your biggest fears." She scanned all of our faces. I raised my hand mockingly and without her calling on me I allowed myself to speak, "Don't you think that's a bit dangerous? Why would we want to spill our biggest fears? Do you know how many people in this room would love to know my biggest fear so they can make my life a living nightmare?" "Poor little Zella has it so bad. Stop thinking about yourself. There are more people in this room. It's not just you." I kept my mouth shut at that. "Mikki?" Mrs. Jane asked the short shy girl who always kept to herself. I had to shove down a laugh because Mikki made no attempt to acknowledge Mrs. Jane. "Zella! Come take your meds!" The doctor called out. I stood up and walked to the counter. "You might want to make those a bit stronger, Doc," Mrs. Jane butted in. I turned around and gawked at her. "Look, bitch!" I started but was interrupted by Alec. "C'mon, Zella, calm down." "Oh yeah get your little boyfriend to save you," April instigated. I could feel myself trembling in anger. I felt like Jacob Black. I wished I could morph into a wolf right about now so I could tear them all limb from limb.

Chapter forty-three 

I started walking away and I felt Alec chase after me and grab my hand. Mrs. Jane and the doctor kept calling our names. "Zella," He tried reasoning. "I'm fine. I just need to get away. Go back to group," I told him standing my ground. He didn't move a muscle, and I unwillingly shook my hand from his grasp and hurried into my room. The next thing I knew, Carlie walked into the room flipping her hair. "Mrs. Jane wants to see you," She said. "Tell her I said to kiss my ass!" I said loud enough for the whole building to hear me. "Just get up! Jesus Christ! I've been trying not to get on your tail; I'm trying to get better! But you're just so damn aggravating!" She screamed. I tossed over in bed and gave her the birdy.

Chapter forty-four 

I put a blade to my skin once more. I kept it in my socks, where no one would find it. I only used it for emergencies, it didn't work too well, but it was fine for now. I wasn't startled this time whenever Alec walked into the bathroom and plopped down beside me. The usual burning in his eyes was brighter tonight, and it made me flood with warmth. "Sorry about earlier," I said putting my bleeding arm behind my back. "Nah, it's nothing. Mrs. Jane is a total bitch," He said laughing. I smiled too. "So I was thinking," he started "And I don't like what you're doing to yourself." "What do you mean?" I asked stupidly. "You know what I mean, Zella," He said sternly. He gently pulled my arm from behind me. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" Alec said examining the wounds. "Really?" I asked startled. "Yeah," he answered simply. "Well, what do I say?" "You talk about life. And me," He added grinning. "No I don't!" I said defensively. He just chuckled. Not expectantly, he kissed me. Not my lips, my cuts. "Please stop," he whispered.

Chapter forty-five 

Alec did something weird that night: he walked me into my room. Killer was waiting. My eyes leaked with fear. "Are you afraid?" He asked quietly. I hesitated before answering, "Yes." He tilted his head to look at me as I snuggled under the covers. "I feel like it's my duty to protect you from any monsters that lurk around at night, so I think I'll stay," he said only partly joking. I didn't let him see my smile. Part of me was expecting him to lean over and kiss my cheek, but the other part of me knew that was too good to happen.

Chapter forty-six 

The next day in gym, Alec and I got called out. Mr. Roland brought us to a door. It looked brand new and had a golden plate with "O. Wade" engraved into it. I reached for the door knob but Mr. Roland grabbed my wrist and I jerked back. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked defensively trying to get the idea of my cuts tearing open out of my mind. "Knock," Mr. Roland was most likely the coolest out of the unit workers, but he didn't play. He tapped the door with his palm and Mr. Wade opened it. I looked behind me and noticed Alec wasn't there. I spun in a circle, and as soon as turned back around, Alec was next to me grinning. "Come in, children," Mr. Wade led us into his office. Alec sat down in a brown cushion chair next to mine. "How are you two on this fine afternoon?" Mr. Wade asked, sarcasm hinting in his voice. "Wonderful," I said mocking his tone. He clapped his hands together loudly, "Great! Now, down to business!" I sat up a little straighter, but Alec remained slouched in his chair looking uninterested. The office smelled so clean. I didn't like it much; it made me feel uncomfortable. It reminded me of when you get called into the principal's office and you know you're going to be scolded for something you've done wrong. Mr. Wade stared at his pen which was in between his middle and pointer finger, "The Institution For Schizophrenic Behaviors will be shutting down soon."

Chapter forty-seven 

"What are you talking about?" I asked in disbelief. "It's just financial problems, nothing for you kids to worry about," he defended himself. "So, what?" Alec drilled, "you take us all to your house? Better yet, are you letting us all go home? Why did you call Zella and me in alone?" Mr. Wade frowned, "no, and no. You will all be moved into different institutions. Also, I would appreciate if you didn't question my motives, Alec, but if you must know, I'm calling everyone in by age, and the oldest have already been notified. You and Zella are the same age, correct?" Alec stiffly nodded; I could tell he was furious. "The transfers will begin to take place this week, be prepared. You are both dismissed. Mr. Roland is waiting outside the door."

Chapter forty-eight 

Alec and I stayed a good distance behind Mr. Roland as he supervised the walk back to our unit. Honestly, I was just glad gym was over: Alec walked close to me, staring at the floor with troubled eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked, instantly regretting asking such a stupid question. After staying silent a few moments more, he finally spoke, "nothing, I'm just thinking. Isn't this all a bit suspicious? Mr. Wade is loaded, and suddenly he's having financial problems? Even if that were true, he could sell the institution, so why go through the trouble of transferring everyone? It just seems fishy to me." I pondered it, and he had a point. Actually, he had multiple. "You're probably right," I said, then I lowered my voice to a whisper "Something has to be going on, most likely something that he can't risk anyone finding out about."  

Back in the unit, people were getting called out left and right. We got to skip our session with Mrs. Jane - thank God - because of it. "Dinner!" Mrs. McGrath called to us. Everyone rushed to the food cart, and as usual I got in the back of the line, hoping they'd be one plate short. Of course, they never were. Alec sat next to me, "have you seen Leia?" He asked taking a bite of spaghetti. I started to get jealous that he was worrying about where she was, until I realized that I didn't know either. "I haven't seen her all day," I said more to myself than him.

Chapter forty-nine 

"Neither have I," Alec confirmed after swallowing. Mrs. McGrath walked by and I immediately picked up my fork and started poking at my mashed potatoes. "What are you doing, Zella?" She taunted in a sour-sweet voice. I continued to pick at my food, hoping she'd go away. She never did. "I'm eating, I'm eating!" I lied for the millionth time. I had been getting away with it lately because I would either chew it and spit it out or push it to the side and make it look like I ate some of it. Besides, if those things didn't work, I always had the advantage of a bulimic on my side. Mrs. McGrath stared at me, anger on her lips, "get up, and come with me," she almost shouted, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet. My heart was pounding. Alec started to stand, but I gave him a glare that said "sit your ass down." I can't believe I actually thought he would listen. "Let her go, right now," Alec threatened. I was almost frightened of him. "Stay out of this," Mrs. McGrath said just as sternly. "I'm going to say this one more time, let her go." "I will not tolerate this from a patient!" "Stop!" Mr. Edwin shouted as he rushed over. He didn't look like he would put up much of a fight against Alec, who was stronger than most weight lifters. Everyone stopped eating to watch. Mr. Edwin got between Alec and Mrs. McGrath and I. Alec pushed him out of the way with ease, and he crashed into the table. Mr. Edwin pulled out a walkie-talkie and called for security. Not even 15 seconds later I could hear the security guards rushing in. Alec had enough time to pull me from Mrs. McGrath. He put both arms around me protectively and eyed her, "Don't you even think about taking her there." I didn't get the chance to ask him what he meant because five large security men loosened his grip on me and held him down. Mrs. McGrath dragged me down many hallways until we finally came to a staircase. She pushed me down it, and I couldn't protest. We entered a white room with a small hospital bed in the center. Beside the bed were tubes filled with a strange looking liquid and many needles. I started to panic. "What? What are we doing?" I scrambled for words. Someone came up behind me and injected a needle into my arm, instantly I felt dazed. Mrs. McGrath smiled and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Many nurses dressed in sugar white swarmed the room and strapped me to the bed. "It's okay," one assured, "it won't hurt but a little."

Chapter fifty 

I stared into the darkness. My eyes frantically searched for something to latch onto in the black abyss. My voices spoke angrily. "Go away!" I tried screaming, but I didn't hear anything that sounded like my voice. I detected something coming into view. I felt myself hit the ground and I attempted to stand up. I was still in the large, white room. There were no windows, and the floor was composed of white, square tile. The tubes and needles were stripped from the bed which was now pushed to the far left corner of the room. Dead smack in the middle was a tall, ovular mirror. I dared to look into the reflecting glass. I saw a monster and she resembled me, but more brutal. She was complete bones, her skin even looked stretched over them. She had bags under her eyes and not an ounce of color in her face. Thin, broken strands of hair fell to her cheek bones. Her entire body was covered in white scars and red gashes. She held a razor blade in her fragile hands, and she was pouring thick blood. She grinned at herself, flashing a set of decayed teeth. She slid a pistol back and forth across the room tauntingly. It was almost as if she was teasing herself. This went on for a while, and then, abruptly, she stopped tossing the gun and put it in her mouth. There was a flicker of agony in her eyes, and right before she pulled the trigger, I realized something. Killer was wrapped around her neck.

Chapter fifty-one 

"Zella, stay quiet," I heard Alec's familiar voice mutter. I was lying on the floor of the white room and there was no mirror in sight. "Where is it?" "Where is what?" "The mirror! The girl! The gun!" I explained frantically. I turned my head, searching. "Sweetheart... Sweetie. Look at me," He said putting his hands on the sides of my shoulders. I faced him and noticed that his choppy hair was covering half of his eyes. "It isn't real." "What do you mean? You didn't see it? You had to! You see her too! Don't you?!" I said trying not to sob. "You were dreaming," He confirmed. I studied his face and noticed the shadow-like bruises on his cheek. I saw that he also had a busted lip. "What happened?" I asked, secretly hoping he'd reveal his eyes. He smiled faintly, "as soon as everyone fell asleep, I stole the keys and hurried down to see you." He looked down, "one of our unit mates decided to challenge me." I wondered who it was, but thought it was best not to ask. "They'll come and get you in the morning. They only fed you and ran some blood tests. Crawl back into bed and get some sleep," He said still not looking at me. He stood up, pulled me to my feet, and walked out. I heard the doorknob click as he locked it back. I laid on the bed, and soon realized how uncomfortable it was. I tossed around and quickly gave up, eventually falling into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter fifty-two 

Leia was happily chatting with Alec and another girl whose name I forgot. She was beautiful and had wavy brown hair, and bangs, complete with yellow eyes and butterfly lashes. She was wearing a pink blouse and high-waisted shorts. The girl sat on Alec's lap playfully and batted her eyelashes. Leia called me over to sit with them and, reluctantly, I did. That damn girl had a perfect hourglass shape, which pissed me off even more because she was disgusting and ate 4 times the proper serving size every meal. She probably burns off all those calories by having sex. Okay, I didn't know for sure if she was a slut, but I like to think she was. She was flirting with Alec, and he flirted back. I felt my hands ball into fists and my fingernails dug into my palm. Leia was speaking to me but I had no idea what she was saying. All I knew was the girl was leaning in to kiss Alec, and I had her pinned down to the floor. I sat on her ribs hoping that I was crushing them, and punched her in the lower part of her face. Generally, the part she wanted Alec's lips on. "What the fuck was that for?" She shrieked spitting blood onto the floor. I jumped off of her and glanced at all of the shocked faces in the room. Except for one. Alec looked satisfied.

Chapter fifty-three 

That night in the showers, we were all told that tomorrow, during gym, we would be attending a dance for the ending of the ISB. "Can't we just dance on the ashes after this place is burnt down?" I snorted. Leia laughed loudly, "We can only wish they would burn it down!" Mrs. McGrath frowned at my rude comment but continued "Girls, if I were you, I'd wash up nicely tonight. You will be with the entire adolescent unit, not just our part. Hurry and get out, then right to bed." I got in the shower and tried to cleanse the embarrassment from myself. I can't believe I actually did that. The face that Alec made at me, like he knew exactly what he was doing; he acted like he had gotten some kind of confession from me. He looked amused and that made me angry. He thinks he can just have me, does he? Well, no! He can't! Actually, yes he can. But still, I found myself thoroughly washing my body and hair with the idea of the dance lurking in my mind.

Chapter fifty-four 

I purposefully avoided Alec and the girl all morning, even whenever he tried flashing me a smirk. That afternoon, I walked into the bathroom and almost laughed. They sure did an awful job repairing the mirror I broke. I hadn't noticed before, but now I could perfectly see every individual piece. It looked like it had been put together with a hot glue gun, and I didn't doubt it. I brushed my teeth and combed my red hair. I decided to tease it - not like I wanted to impress anyone or anything - it just made my layers look better. Once I was finished, I went into me and Carlie's room and saw her stuffing her bra with tissue. "Your left boob looks a little lumpy," I snorted. "I'd bet anything Alec picks Julie over you. Who wouldn't?" She said taking my advice and fixing it. "Fuck you," I said picking out a pair of faded, ripped skinny jeans, a white tank-top, and an oversized black sweater that came off my shoulders. "No thanks," she said pulling her shirt down to expose herself more. "That was an insult, not an invite. Not everyone wants to get your STD's, you know?" She started snickering but then straightened out after seeing the fury in my eyes. Maybe she remembered what happened to her the last time, or maybe it was Mrs. McGrath calling for us to line up.

Chapter 55 

Even though it wasn't raining, it reminded me of the first night I arrived at the ISB, which seemed like years ago. In reality, it couldn't have been more than 3 months, but who knows? We walked under the breezeway and finally reached the gym. All the lights were dimmed low, and there were people everywhere. I made my way through the maze of chatting, dancing, laughing boys and girls. I reached the bleachers and climbed to the top. Leia followed, and we talked for a while. "What's been up with you lately?" she asked. "Nothing, I'm fine," I replied, staring off. "It's Alec isn't it?" she questioned. "No, well, I mean, yes, but that's not it. I can't explain how I feel, sorry." She looked at me sadly, and then Julie called her down. So, she left me to sit alone. Leia, Julie, Carlie, Alec, and a few others stood in one big group. I put my knees to my chest and closed my eyes. My only two friends with the two girls I despise most here. At least April wasn't among them. I heard someone walking up the bleachers and I looked to see April and three girls behind her. Speak of the devil. "Hey, Zella! What are you doing here alone? Alec is over there!" she shouted and pointed to him. He looked over, smile from someone's joke fading from his face. I blushed and looked down. "What do you want?" I asked, trying to sound stern. "For you to kill yourself, mostly," she said, and the two girls laughed. "Fuck off," I replied. "Are you trying to start a fight with me?" April yelled. "You mess with April, you mess with us!" one of the girls commented. "C'mon, you little bitch!" another added. Damn, April. That posse of yours could've been useful when Leia was smashing your face in. The last girl just smacked her lips and snapped her fingers. I saw Alec walking over.

Chapter fifty-six 

I was way beyond done. To be honest, I didn't care if I got beat up. I stood up and punched April square in the face. She fell down the bleachers, bringing the heaviest girl down with her. I prepared to throw another punch at the tall one, but she caught it and twisted my arm. I hit my head on the bottom of her chin, making her bite her tongue. By then, everyone was back up and the biggest held me down. They all took turns punching, kicking, and pulling my hair. "Such a fatass! Not so big and tough now, are you?" April chanted. Alec had just reached us. It surprised me that nobody else noticed what was going on. Alec ripped me out of the girls' grasps, and I spat out blood. Leia rushed over as well, along with a few other girls I had only spoken to once or twice. Carlie and Julie stayed put, and I can't say I blamed them. After all, I had busted both of their faces. April slapped Alec across the cheek, and something inside of me snapped. I brought her to the ground and slammed her head against the corner of the bleacher. Once I got up, she and her friends scrambled to the bathroom. I didn't even care if they were going to tell anyone. This whole fighting thing has become a multiple times a week reoccurrence. I'm pretty sure the fact that we outnumbered them scared them away. They all cling to April like a lost puppy. Leia motioned to the others to go, and she left as well after mouthing "good luck" to me. Then, Alec and I were alone.

Chapter fifty-seven 

"What happened?" he asked sincerely. I looked down and shrugged. "I'm sorry I didn't get here soon enough," he said, and I could feel his gaze on me. "Don't worry about it," I muttered. I was so embarrassed that I let April get even one hit on me. For a while, we sat in silence. I heard the music change from fast and uppity to a beautiful piano piece. I recognized it instantly as Who Am I to Say by Hope. Alec looked at me with a soft expression and put his hand on mine. My heart started pounding at his touch. His eyes glowed, even in darkness. "Zella, will you dance with me?" I stared at his innocent expression. "Umm, I can't dance," I said truthfully. "Neither do I. We can learn together," he winked. "I don't know..." I said indecisively. "There's two ways we can do this. The easy way, or the hard way: Either you can take my hand and come down to the dance floor, or I can carry you there. Either is okay with me," he said with a smile on his lips. He reached out right when I was about to give in, and literally swept me off my feet.

Chapter fifty-eight 

He had me in his arms like a princess. "Dear, God, Alec! Put me down!" I tried to convince him but ended up laughing. Everyone had their eyes on us, and for once, I didn't mind. I squirmed until he gently set me down and put his arms around my waist. I wasn't sure what to do. I hesitated before wrapping my arms around his neck. We rocked side to side, and he looked at me seriously. We weren't even on rhythm with the music. He took one of his hands off of my waist and tucked my hair behind my ear before resting it on my cheek. "You are the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen," he cooed. My heart stopped beating. One... two... three... Then it resumed, harder than before. I didn't know how to respond, but I'm positive my blushing gave me away. "Everything is going to be just fine," he half smiled. "I hope you're right," I whispered. He tilted his head to the side and his perfect eyes gazed mine. "I promise," he breathed before leaning in and softly kissing my lips.

Chapter fifty-nine 

I forgot who I was, where I was, what I was. All I knew was Alec. His arms around me, his body and lips pressed against mine. We slowly pulled apart, but not much. Our foreheads were touching and he looked at me comfortably. I closed my eyes and noticed the lovely piano fading and the lights turning back on. "Everyone gather around. I have an announcement to make," Mr. Wade called. Everyone in the gym formed a circle around him. "Tomorrow, we'll start transferring you all by age. We have already done the children's unit, so tomorrow will be adolescents. I advise you all to begin packing tonight, because when your age is called, you will be expected to get up and leave. Everyone may now line up in front of your supervisors and they will lead you out of the gym in an orderly fashion." I turned to find Mr. Rolands, but instead, I saw Alec looking down at me. He was so damn tall. He quirked a smile and slid his fingers between mine.

Chapter sixty 

That night, I fell into dreams of Alec's warm touch. I awoke to Carlie's voice whispering, "Zella! Dammit! Zella!" "What the?" I asked sleepily. "Be a little quieter? Get up. We're heading out," she demanded. "What? Who? Where?" I stumbled out of bed. I noticed Jonah and Amare, the ones who fought when I first arrived here, standing outside of the doorway holding hands. Skylar and Julie accompanied them. "Does anyone want to inform me about what the hell we're doing?" Alec said appearing on the side of my bed. He was wearing plaid pajama pants. That's all he was wearing. Until that moment, I hadn't realized how defined his muscles were. I remembered one time I liked a guy. He had messy brown hair and chestnut eyes. I shuddered at the thought. He had me convinced that he was in love with me. Until one day at school we got into an argument because I wouldn't do some questionable things with him. He told everyone that I did, and after that I got a lot of crude named thrown my way. I wondered, for a moment, if that contributed to my trust issues, then stopped because I knew for a fact that it did. "We're going down to the cafeteria for a late night snack. After all, we'll never get to spend another evening in this piece of shit place," Carlie explained. I was completely for it, considering the fact that the boy I liked was half naked and coming. I felt my stomach rumble and spoke to drown out the sound, "I'll go get Leia." "I'm going, too," Alec volunteered. We crept into her room, careful not to make a sound. Mikki was sleeping in the bed next to her. "Leia," I whispered, tapping her shoulder. She sprang up, but calmed down after seeing me. "Zella, dear, do you mind telling me why you're in my room at this hour?" I stared at her, "I was just wondering if you wanted to come get some food with us?" "I'm sleeping. Maybe tomorrow," she mumbled, rolling over. It wasn't like Leia to act this way.

Chapter sixty-one 

Alec walked next to me as we headed for the unit door. It was very quiet, almost too quiet. I glanced over to see Carlie searching for the keys with no luck. Julie spotted them and picked them up. At least she's good for something. Once we got through the first door, it hit me. "Where were the nurses?" I asked slowly. "What are you talking about?" Skylar asked. "The nurses are always asleep in those chairs at night." "Well this isn't good," Amare stated. We were standing between two steel doors and the carpet was thin. It was like a death trap, so I shouldn't have been surprised when the nurses came in the one we were supposed to be going out of next. They both had a coffee in their hands, and Mrs. Josephson dropped hers when she spotted us. "What are you all doing?" she and Mrs. Kimberly shrieked spontaneously. I had coffee all over my pajamas. As the door automatically slammed shut, I backed up and bumped into Alec. He didn't stumble, but instead placed his hands on my waist. "Get back into bed, all of you! Have you gone mad?" Mrs. Josephson yelled, "And give me these!" she snatched the keys away from Julie. As we walked back to our rooms, we heard the nurses muttering about how glad they were that they were getting rid of us. It shocked me that they didn't follow us to the end of the hallway. Alec joined Carlie and I in our room. "Alec, they're awake and can see the cameras," I said, secretly hoping he wouldn't care. "Don't worry. They're having some technical difficulties," he winked at me. "They are?" Carlie asked hopping out of bed and heading out the door, "Awesome!" "Where do you think she's going?" I asked Alec. "I presume Julie and Carlie have a thing." "So how exactly did you manage to cut off the cameras?" "That's for me to know. Maybe I'll teach you someday."

Chapter sixty-two 

I crawled into bed and got under the covers. Alec, for lack of a better phrase, tucked me in. He sat down next to me and ran his thumb over my cheekbone. I closed my eyes, "What do you think will happen?" He didn't reply, but he looked like he was trying to find comforting words. I tried again, "Will I ever see you again?" He smiled at me, and I felt my heart flutter. That was a cliché question. "Of course," he replied. "How can you be sure?" "You'll see soon," he said, making me think he was keeping something from me. "What?" "Don't worry about it right now," he kissed my forehead, "Go to sleep." I decided that arguing with him wouldn't get me anywhere, so I didn't. "Do you remember when I told you it was my duty to protect you from the monsters that lurk in the night?" he asked. I smiled and nodded. "That includes the monsters that live inside of you." "You can't save me from myself." "Maybe not, but I'm still going to try."

Chapter sixty-three 

I must've drifted off, because I was startled awake by something hitting the floor. I looked around, and sure enough, Alec was beside the bed picking up the fallen lamp. All I wanted was for Alec to come snuggle with me, but I knew there had to be something going me. I started to speak, but Alec put a finger over my lips and pointed to the open door. I caught a glimpse of Leia tip-toeing to the front desk. It looked like she was up to something that nobody else knew about. Soon, I was following her. Alec shook his head and gestured for me to come back, but being the stubborn girl I am, I continued on without second thought. I kept close to the walls, and I saw Alec behind me. He gave me a look that said "we're gonna get it now" and I had to smother a chuckle. Leia walked right up to the front desk and said, "My keys, please." My eyes widened as the nurses handed her a set of brass and silver keys with an ID attached. "We'll go phone your father and let him know you're on your way," Mrs. Josephson said before going to the back with Mrs. Kimberly. This is my chance. Leia walked with a purpose and didn't look back. Alec and I easily stayed on her tail. We made it to the lobby and a security guard glanced at Alec and me. I straightened my posture and walked like I belonged there. Obviously I didn't, but he didn't have to know that. To him, we probably looked like we were with Leia. I was relieved to see that Alec mimicked my actions. Leia lead us to an office that read "O. Wade." She walked in without knocking, "Hey daddy."

Chapter sixty-four 

"Hey, baby," he replied as she took a seat. "Any news?" she asked casually. "They're going to let me buy the building I was telling you about." "Really? I'm so excited for you, my lord!" she squealed. Alec and I looked at each other with the same what the fuck just happened expression. "Well, that escalated quickly," Alec murmured. "You remember what I told you about lying low for a while, correct?" Mr. Wade asked. "I wouldn't disobey you. I did exactly what you told me. I even surrendered my feelings for Alec," she said proudly at first and then fading off as if she was lost in a memory. "Don't get attached, Leia. Remember what I told you: becoming fond of people will always get you hurt in the end. The only person who will never leave you is me." If I hadn't known better, I'd declare it as a love confession. "I know, it won't happen again," she said guiltily. "It better not. Now, off to bed with you. We have a big day tomorrow." She nodded and begun advancing towards the door. "Oh, and Leia," he started, "Get Zella and Alec back to the unit. Make sure they don't get out again."

Chapter sixty-five 

"Dammit," I whispered turning in the opposite direction. Leia caught me by my hair, blushing. "You made me look bad in front of my one and only," she accused with clenched teeth. "What is wrong with you?" I said. Instead of responding, she pushed me forwards. "Hands off," I said shrugging out of her reach. "Come on, Alec," she called softly. Anger rose inside of me at her tone of voice. "I thought you were my friend," he said and fury bubbled inside of my chest. Alec winked at me, letting me know it was an act. "I'm so sorry, Alec, I really am," she confessed sadly. I almost felt sorry for her in that moment. "Just tell me this," Alec mocked miserably, "Why did you do it?" "I'm not supposed to tell," she said regretfully. "The least you can do is give me an explanation. Can't you do that for me?" he persuaded. "I guess I owe it to you, don't I?" she contemplated. I love how she doesn't bother to include me. "I have to help my father." "How exactly is this helping him?" "Well, if I became friends with you guys, then you'd tell me more about your lives which I could transfer over to my father. He needed the information to keep you here longer." "Why would you want us to be here longer if you never cared in the first place?" I butted in. "I never said that!" Leia snapped. "Zella, let her finish," Alec said. "Kay," I mumbled, leaning against the wall. "The longer everyone stayed the more money my dad earned. Someone outside of the staff found out that I'm his daughter, and that isn't allowed. Now he has to buy a new institution," she explained. "Wait, why do they continue to allow him to buy new institutions?" Alec asked. "He does it under different identifications." Alec walked over to me, slipping his hand into mine. "All of this for money," he shook his head disapprovingly. "The root of all evil," I confirmed.

Chapter sixty-six 

I felt Leia's jealous vibe the entire was back. I think she lost it around the time that Alec leaned in to kiss me. "Just go back to your rooms!" she screamed. "Chill out," Alec said against my lips. Leia's face was tear-drenched and bloodshot. "That's enough, Alec," I said pushing him away. It doesn't matter how mad I am. I can't bear to see her like this. I walked over and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Zella," she sobbed, "I never meant to hurt anyone." "I know," I held her shaking body. "I don't want to do this anymore." "You have to. Never stop fighting. I'll come back for you Leia. Someday, I'll come back. I promise."

Chapter sixty-seven 

I cried myself to sleep that night. Alec must've heard, because I woke up at dawn to him walking out of my room. I rolled over to see that Carlie's bed was made and all of her suitcases gone. I felt a shock run through me as I realized that if I didn't hurry, I might miss Alec's departure. I ran to the main room to make sure he hadn't left yet. On my way, I knocked over Mrs. Kimberly. I can't really say that I was sorry. Alec sat with a small black bag on his lap. He smirked when he saw the relieved expression on my face. "It's not funny," I said, smiling. "Come here," he said in a melodic voice. I sat next to him, close enough that our legs touched. "Soon, you're going to find out something about me that you won't like, but I need you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that, don't you?" he asked me. "Well, yeah, but why?" I responded with curiosity. "You'll figure it out when the time is right. Don't worry, you'll get it soon enough." "Mikki," Mrs. Josephson called, leaving Alec and I alone in the unit. "But what if this is the last time I see you?" I asked trying to ignore the thought. "What did I tell you? Trust me, it won't be. Take it easy, darling." Secretly, I was still worried, but I tried to loosen up. "Alec and Zella," Mrs. Josephson called as we Mrs. Kimberly handed me my bags. We walked down the building with both of the nurses and out of the front door where two ambulances waited. "No, not again," I whined quietly. Alec flashed me a quick, but reassuring, smile before climbing into the back of one of them. I got into mine and hoped everything was going to be alright.

Chapter sixty-eight 

I didn't think my driver could drive any slower. Although I couldn't see, I could still feel us moving at what felt like two miles per hour. I tried to distract myself, but I couldn't keep my mind away from Alec. I was sure that he was doing just fine, probably much better than me. I bet there were a million other girls he kissed and stuff with. I couldn't have been anything special. He doesn't need me. I caught myself in mid-thought and tried to focus on the problems at hand. We were told we were being transferred closer to home, but not where exactly. For a moment, I wondered about my parents. I doubt I even cross their minds. They called me every night for about a week before cutting it off. They called once or twice after that, but not once did they visit. The thought of going anywhere close to the area my father was in made me sick to my stomach.

Chapter sixty-nine 

Speaking of sick to my stomach, the first thing the staff made me do, hardly after I stepped a foot away from the ambulance, is eat a meal. I didn't get the welcome wagon here like I did from Mr. Wade. Nothing was explained to me, and I was okay with that. I wasn't interested in anyone's voice crossing my ears unless it was Alec's. Much like the ISB, Strongedge Institute had their name on literally everything. A tall man with a point nose and military short hair showed me to my room. To my disbelief, I had it all to myself. Part of me was grateful, but the other part of me knew how scared I was going to get without another person in the room with me at night. Another difference was that here, no one was allowed to speak. Pain lurked in the still silence of the rooms. Something was off about this place, but I couldn't pinpoint it yet.

Chapter seventy  

I was going ballistic. I hadn't seen Alec since we left the ISB, and the only things I heard were other's breathing. That was the only indication that they were alive. No one even dared to release a sigh. What is this place? Finally, a staff member called us down for dinner, and I almost had a heart attack from the sound. Every corner we turned, I looked for Alec. Maybe he isn't here. But he has to be. He told me not to worry. He told me that he would see me again. Everyone lined up in an extremely orderly fashion. It reminded me of the boot camp my dad sent my brother to when he was 9 years old. There was a simple girl standing next to me and I waited for everyone to look forward before speaking to her. "What is going on with this place?" I asked almost silently. Her brown eyes widened in panic and she quickly shook her head back and forth. Her face pleaded for me to stop talking immediately. I made a "I surrender" gesture. I kind of wanted to scream my lungs out. I wasn't sure if I was crazy, or if everyone else was. We didn't get to choose where we sat or what we put on our plates either.

Chapter seventy-one 

It should've been expected, really. I almost had myself convinced that I could wait for the first sign of Alec, but deep down, I knew I wouldn't. The doors were heavy, black, and windowless. I opened mine, hours after bedtime, and snuck across the hall. I didn't know this place well, but I did know that every move I made had to be completely noiseless or I would get myself caught. I didn't have any idea where I was headed, so I just played it by the minute. Unfortunately, the staff here actually did their jobs on the nightshift. I sure had some nerve wandering around a mental ward with no clear destination. I heard the click of a light switch and everything faded to dark. The hands that grabbed my arms were warm and fierce. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound escaped from my chapped lips. When the lights came back on, I was back in my room with a man standing over me. He wore white attire and his identification tag read "Samuel Chandler." I slowly looked up at my brother. His hair had grown and darkened, and his face matured. He looked like a hippie, so I had to chuckle a little when his first words were, "Dude. Man." I had nothing to say at the moment. He scooped me up in his arms and swung me around in circles. "What are you doing here?" I managed. "I'm a pharmacist here. May I ask why you are, yet again, in another mental hospital?" he responded. "Pharmacist?" I echoed, "Sam, how long has it been?" His concerned eyes met mine, "Three years." "What?" I put my hands over my ears and began rocking back and forth. Three years? That's impossible! I have only been here a few months. Everything is wasting away. Three years. Three years and they still haven't helped me.

Chapter seventy-two 

After Sam calmed me down, I told him everything from the time he brought me to the improved ISB until I arrived here. He gaped when I got to the part about Leia being a traitor. "So, you and Alec see this same snake?" he questioned. "From what I know, yes," I replied. "I have never heard of that before, but I guess it's possible. You said he got in his ambulance and claimed to be going where you were?" "Yeah, but the problem is that I haven't seen him anywhere. I was actually going out to look for him when you grabbed me." He gave me a smug look, "If you promise me you'll stay in bed from now on, I can access the files and let you know if he's been admitted." "Really?" my face lit up, and for a moment, there was a thread of hope. "Why doesn't anyone speak?" "Strict rules here. If they're broken, they'll put you in isolation for days at a time. The government views this hospital as top quality because of how structured it's presented to be, so they don't look into it much," he paused for a moment, "I know this is a lot to take in, so get some rest. Tomorrow morning, I'll let you know about Alec." With that, Sam was gone.

Chapter seventy-three 

I couldn't imagine sleeping that night. My body crawled with anxiety. I could not wait to know if Alec was here, but I kind of had to. I may have fallen asleep for half an hour at the most because by the time sunlight hit my window, I was already out the door. I assumed I was the first one awake. Although, I didn't even think we were allowed out of bed this early. Oh well. Walking out of my room, I almost busted my ass. My socks were too slippery. I threw them at the wall and my bare feet hit the cold tile. I started to notice how sterile and tidy the hospital was. The ISB usually had food crumbs on the tables and stains on the floor. It was different here; I didn't like it. It was time to focus on Alec again. I sat alone at one of the circular tables, crisscross in a plastic blue chair. I stared at the wall for a long time and my eyes started to droop. I woke up with drool on the side of my mouth and my head on the table. A lady in an orange dress tapped me impatiently, "What do you think you're doing? Read the rules. You don't come out of your room unless you're eating or have been called," she said firmly. "Oh," was all I thought to say before getting up. I sat on my bed and waited some more. Finally, my door opened and the lady in the orange dress told me that it was time for breakfast. As I expected, no one spoke. I wondered how they were supposed to get better if they couldn't talk, and then I remembered that we're the ones they don't think will ever get better. We're the hopeless ones who can't be sent back into the real world because we're a danger to ourselves, others, and most of all, society. Sometimes, I think we're the only sane ones. Those that are broken. I guess I'll have to learn to live with the fact that I'll be caged up for the rest of my life. I ate my breakfast sadly, and threw away my plate before finding myself on the hard bed once more. I wished they had curtains so I could keep the sun away, but I guessed that was too much to ask for. We got called out of our rooms about three hours later to take our medicine, and low and behold, Sam the pharmacist was giving it to us. I washed it down with cranberry juice. "Did you find anything?" I asked. "Actually, yes," he looked troubled, "He's a few units down. I spoke with him this morning." My heart sped up. "But, Zella, there's something... Are you sure about him?" Sam continued. I was taken aback, "Of course I am. What makes you ask that?" "Nothing, dear. In about half an hour, I'll take everyone down for lunch. His unit always goes down for lunch, so you should see him there." I began to question him again, but he stopped me, "Just go to your room. I'll call you down soon."

Chapter seventy-four 

Thirty minutes my ass. It was at least a decade before Sam showed up to bring us to lunch. I could hardly breathe because I was so excited. We walked into the foul smelling cafeteria and my eyes searched for Alec instantly. There were people picking at their food and no one was smiling. I sat there for a good twenty minutes waiting for Alec to walk through the door, but no matter how intense my staring was, he never did. I decided to steady myself instead of falling into a panic attack caused by lack of Alec. I stood up and walked over to the trashcan. My butt was sore from the hard seat and almost everyone had cleared out of the room. Sam was discussing meds with some kid in dorky glasses across the cafeteria. Never trust kids in dorky glasses. It was weird to see Sam acting sophisticated, but I was happy for him. Lost in my thoughts, I accidently threw my entire plastic tray away. I swore under my breath and reached into the trashcan to retrieve it. I felt a hand over my mouth. I was being pushed through the big red doors into a room I hadn't seen before. From the looks of it, it was a punishment room off of the cafeteria for kids who misbehaved. There was a small bed on the floor, and get this, no windows. A man in a striped blue polo had me by the wrists. "I like the way you bend over," he said in a deep voice. I spit in his face. You see, in movies they show you how to get out of situations like this, but when you're as helpless as me, you're fucked. I fought as hard as I could to get the man off of me, and I finally did. Well, a boy with emerald green eyes did.

Chapter seventy-five 

"Alec?" I asked stupidly. Obviously it's him. "Stay back!" he shouted. Okay. You don't have to tell me twice. "You," he growled, "Will NEVER lay a hand on her again!" Alec smashed the man's head into the wall furiously. The man started to go limp. "Alec! Stop! That's enough!" I cried. "No, Zella." There was something familiar about that scene. My mind took me back to the playground seven years ago. I was swinging on the yellow swing. It was my favorite because it hung from a tree away from everyone else. I was looking at the clouds and making shapes when I heard high pitched laughing and loud footsteps. There were a couple of boys advancing towards me. They both had blond hair, but one was a bit larger than the other. The smaller one said, "We want the swing, don't we Derek?" Derek nodded and crossed his arms, "Yes, Brandt, we do." I looked down at my lap and Derek snatched the wildflower I was holding out of my hands. I felt tears rise and drop on my white stockings. "Aw, she's crying," teased Brandt. "GET OFF!" demanded Derek. Before I could react, he pushed me and I fell backwards, skull banging the ground. Derek sat on my swing as Brandt spun him, causing the rusty chains to creak. "Stop," I pleaded in a small voice, crawling backwards. They were going to break my swing. "Hey!" I heard another boy shout, "Leave her and her swing alone!" The duo cackled, "Or what? You'll tell on us?" "I'm not a pansy," the boy replied. He had shaggy black hair that covered the tips of his eyes. He walked up to the two boys and grabbed them both by the throat. I could tell he was squeezing as hard as he could because his hands were turning purple. Brandt managed to squirm out of his grasp and ran as fast as he could. Now both hands were on Derek. "Stop! That's enough!" I shouted. "No, Zella."

Chapter seventy-six 

Alec was the little boy with the shaggy hair. I remembered it clearly now. He got expelled after almost strangling Derek to death. He was sent off because - "Let's move, Zella," Alec ordered as he hopped over the man's unconscious body. "You killed him?!" "No. He's only passed out. HURRY." I had no choice but to follow him. "Where do you two think you're going?" I turned to see Sam. The nurse was next to him. The nurse. From the ISB. Next to my brother. "Meet my fiancé, Sally." "What the hell?" I started. "I'm sorry about what happened with April. I couldn't show any favoritism towards you or people might start to suspect things," Sally said defensively. "What kind of things?" "Things like the fact she's been plotting with me to get you out of these hospitals for months now," Sam answered for her. "So, you're not a bitch?" "Very funny, Zella," Sam answered again. "It's okay, Sam. I was pretty hard on her back there," Sally turned to face me, "I really am sorry about that. I love your brother, though. I was giving him reports on you every day." Great, that means Sam has heard about all the times I messed up. "But we had no idea you were coming here. We knew they were destroying the ISB, but we never could've guessed this." Sally finished. "Wonderful. Now, when are you getting us out of here?" Alec interrupted, agitated. "We didn't plan on getting you out. I've seen your files, boy," Sam replied. "I need a few minutes alone with Alec," I said with confidence. "Fine, but make it quick."

Chapter seventy-seven  

As soon as Sam and Sally walked out, I exploded. "You've been lying to me this whole time: about knowing me; your parents?!" "Calm down. I can explain." "You're damn right you can." "I didn't want you to be scared of me." "Oh! Why would I be scared of my boyfriend, or whatever we are these days, that MURDERED his parents and choked out a boy in elementary school? What else are you lying to me about?" I screeched, not expecting an answer. "I'm not schizophrenic," he confessed. "What?!" I shouted, exasperated. "I lied. I needed an excuse for killing my parents. I told the cops that the voices made me do it." I was fuming. "So why did you do it?" I spat. "They abused me." "And I'm supposed to believe you?" "No; but you asked, and I told you. It's up to you to decide if you believe me or not." "Okay, let's say you are being truthful," I glared at him, "And that's a big if because they better have done some awful things for the hand they were dealt, why did you do that to Derek back in school?" "I was trying to protect you." "By almost taking his life?" Alec's face turned beat red, "Yeah, Zella, if that's what it took. I would've gone to any lengths to protect you. I watched you every day, lost inside the world as you swung on that swing and I thought 'what a gorgeous creation.' I don't expect you to understand. No one ever understands how beautiful the universe is. And to have someone so complex but utterly revolting such as me live in it is a total disgrace. I was trying to do something good for once. As for my parents, my dad got drunk and repeatedly cut my sister with a knife. Eventually, she bled out and my parents told the authorities it was a suicide: that my sister self-harmed. Not even my mom stood up for her daughter. She let her die and then lied about how it happened. What kind of mother does that? They both deserved to go." I had to close my mouth because my jaw was dropped. "I..." I began. "Save it. I'm used to people judging before they hear the story. By the way, I told you I could see the snake because I didn't want you to feel alone. I read your files, so I knew. When I'd hear you screaming, I'd scream, too." "Alec," I threw myself into his arms. Why can't I stay mad at him? It was a pathetic move, but I didn't know what to say. He rubbed my back and I looked up at him, "I'm going to get you out."

Chapter seventy-eight 

After lots of (quiet) negotiating and explaining, I convinced Sam to get Alec out, too. "So, how exactly is this going to work?" I pressed. Sam lied and said he needed to see Alec and I for medication check-ups, so we were all in one room, Sally included. "I'm going to get into your files and put discharge papers in. I'll override a few things and clear your records, and then you two are on your own." "Where will we go?" I asked Sam. "Sally and I bought a small house. It's actually right on the beach. We'll visit often, but, for the most part, it's yours," he grinned. "Of course, you'll have to get jobs to buy clothes and food," he added. "Not a problem," Alec peeped in. "Both of you will be required to go to college," Sally informed us. "This is all fine by me. So when do we leave?" "In a few weeks when you prove to me that you're getting better, Zella," Sam said. "But..." "No butts. I'm not going to let you go out into the real world and end up killing yourself." "I wouldn't let her do that," Alec said in a matter-of-fact tone. "And if you were gone?" "I wasn't last time she tried." "Look-," "That's enough you guys," I demanded, "we'll wait until I prove myself to Sam. By the way, how'd you get Sally in here?" "I have my ways," Sam smiled.

Chapter seventy-nine 

Weeks went by. If I was lucky, I got a glimpse of Alec once a day. Sam made me eat, and I was watched like a hulk for hours afterwards. Sam had Sally check my body for cuts every day. He also found a medicine that made the hallucinations stop. He witnessed me taking it every night with a tiny cup of cranberry juice before bed. I was starting to think that it was all a joke and that I was never getting out. Until, one day, Sam showed up to my room with a bag, "Pack up. We're leaving in ten minutes flat." Man, was I hyped. I threw all my shit in the bag and waited anxiously for Sam to come and get me. Together, Alec and I walked out of the treacherous place holding hands. This is actually happening. I laid on Alec's chest in the backseat while Sally lectured us about responsibility from shotgun. All the excitement had made me forget something. "Wait! Sam!" I spurted, "We have to get Leia!" Sam and Sally shared the same guilty expression. "Sam! I promised Leia I'd come back for her. Sally knows who I'm talking about. Don't you, Sally? We have to go get her. Her dad is a total dick and -," "Zella," Sally said in a sad voice, "What?" "I'm sorry. Mr. Wade was arrested and Leia sent into foster care." "So? We can still get her. We'll figure something out." "She hung herself the first night. We wanted to tell you, but we were afraid it would be harder to get you to recover." "My best friend is dead?" I asked in more of a statement. "I'm so sorry," Alec whispered. I didn't talk the rest of the ride.

Chapter eighty 

Week one: 

I haven't gotten out of bed since we arrived here. It's a cute place, actually. Alec makes me eggs every morning and holds me all night.

Chapter eighty-two 

Week two: 

It hurts to breathe. When will it be over? I still haven't gotten out of bed.

Chapter eighty-three 

Week four: 

I got out of bed today. Alec took me to see the ocean. He's so pretty in the sunlight.

Chapter eighty-three 

Week eight: 

I'm doing a lot better now. I still wake up at midnight crying, and the nightmares don't stop, but Alec's always there.

Chapter eighty-four 

I got out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around myself. It was nice to be able to look at a razor without wanting to press it against my wrist. I opened me and Alec's bedroom door, and he was right in front of me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my throat. I slid my hand under his shirt and pulled it off. The window was open, so the moonlight shone on his perfectly pale skin. I traced every muscle on his body with my fingertips as they moved together with mine.

Chapter eighty-five 

Week eleven: 

I don't want to die anymore.

Written by Jaden Cuti