A I DE N S • P O V
Wind whipped at Arian's hair. She sat in between my legs, her back to my chest. The moon shone on the waters surface, reflecting a luminous glow atop the rippling surface. The boat bounced as it sped around the island, towards the turtle release point.
We were among about another twelve people. Most were couples but there was a small friend group. One of the males in it kept glancing over at Arian. His hairline was borderline receding and chest hair was coming out of his neckline. As much as I didn't like the way that he kept glancing over at her, I couldn't blame him. I would have been as well.
We arrived at the turtle release point on the island and hopped off the boat beside the dock. Arian let me hoist her up because she was still in her tight dress. She left her big heels on the boat though and we walked hand in hand through the sand which had cooled under the moonlight. We arrived at a small space that was illuminated with lamps and staff who stood around a little pit in the sand where a dozen or so baby turtles were scuttling around with their fins.
Arian gasped and stared up at me with awe. "This is the most precious thing that I have ever seen."
I smiled. I knew that she would love it. She appreciated nature. She appreciated the stars and the sea. She appreciated flowers and the earths vibrant colours. She appreciated the finer details in life that a lot of people took for granted. It was such a wonderful thing to witness. And it had given me a sense of appreciation for such things as well. She'd opened my eyes so much.
The staff talked us through the process. Each group was given a baby turtle. We were able to name it and receive a photograph with it and all of the proceeds were given to a rescue retreat organisation that worked to protect sea life. That part seemed to be the most pleasing to Arian. We were given the certificate and a pen to scrawl our turtles name on the dotted line.
"What should we call our turtle?" I peered over Arian's shoulder while she held the clipboard in her hands.
She was quiet for a moment before she twisted and peered up at me. "What about Elijah?"
My stomach twisted into a knot and I felt my breath hitch as I stared down at her beautiful brown eyes. Elijah was my father's name. I'd told her that when she was in hospital. I was attempting to teach her how to play poker. Her third hand was better than the first two hands. But her poker face was terrible. She gave herself up so obviously and it was adorable. She'd asked where I learned how to play and I told her that Dad had taught me.
"What was your dad's name? He sounds like he was multitalented."
"Elijah. And uh yeah. He was brilliant at most things."
"That sounds perfect," I leaned in and kissed her. "You're thoughtful."
She shrugged a shoulder and glanced down at the clipboard before she scrawled the name on the dotted line. She had lost her parents too. I still wasn't sure how. She didn't seem to like talking about it a lot. But there was only one turtle and I doubt that she would have wanted to pick just one parent to name the turtle after.
We handed the clipboards back and the staff let us know that we'd get our certificates back with our photographs in a couple of days. That was when we were handed a little turtle and it was cute. Arian clenched her jaw with a quiet squeal and I let her hold it.
"Aiden," she cooed. "Look at him!"
"That one's a girl," the staff said as she held up a camera. "Stand together and smile!"
I wrapped an arm around Arian's waist and glanced down at the turtle before the flash lit up the beach for a brief moment. The flashes around the beach continued in quick concession. As soon as the staff moved on to the next person, Arian turned around with her jaw dropped.
"Elijah is a girl," she giggled.
I leaned down and got a closer look. "That's alright. Elijah doesn't know that she's got a man's name."
"Alright everyone," the woman running the group clapped her hands together. "Take your baby turtle to about a meter from the waters edge and let it go."
We wandered towards the waters edge and Ari held the little turtle up to her face with kiss lips. She didn't kiss the cute little creature but she did coo at it for a minute. "Bye Elijah," she let her bottom lip jut out with a sad gaze. "I'm going to miss her!"
"I bet she'll miss you too," I grinned.
We both crouched down and she set Elijah in the sand. She laughed when it's fins started pushing it towards the water. It was quick and beelined straight for the small waves that lapped at the shore. I wrapped an arm around Arian's shoulder and she leaned into me as she waved at her new friend. She was so sentimental and cute. It warmed me all over.
"She's going to love the ocean," she nodded. "This was the best thing ever."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," I said, pressing a soft kiss on her head.
The moonlight shone on the turtles shell just as she disappeared under the surface. Other couples beside us were clapping and snapping photos on their phones. But Arian just sat there. I could feel her cheeks swelling with a smile against my chest. She was absorbing the moment and I held her close. Loving every moment that she felt happiness. It was worth it. It was so worth all of it.
When the SUV pulled up at the resort later, Arian was asleep on my shoulder, curled up in the backseat beside me. I tipped the driver and slid out, scooping her up as gently as I could. She held on to me and startled with a little snore.
"Aiden," she murmured as I walked across the grounds towards our room. It wasn't far and she was as light as a feather. But as warm as the weather was, the night breeze was getting cooler and she wasn't dressed with long sleeves.
"Just sleep baby," I leaned down and grabbed the handle, being careful not to push Arian's back against it. I slid the door to our bedroom open and placed her in the bed before I jogged back to the door and closed it again.
She snuggled on to her side and mumbled my name again. Her movements were almost unsettled, fidgeting with restlessness. The room was dark but spotlights outside were offering a hint of luminous into the room. So I stripped down to my Calvin's as fast as I could and climbed into the bed beside her, pulling her into my chest.
Feeling her body relax was immediate. She settled and her breathing became more even. Knowing that I was helping her, just as much as she was helping me, was enough to make me feel more whole than I've felt in the longest time.
________
In the morning, the bed was empty beside me. I could feel the sun pouring in through the doors which were half pushed open, offering relief from the sweltering heat with a mild breeze. Outside, I could see the hammock stretched from one palm tree to the other. It moved with the wind, as did the palm branches and resort flags.
But what had me pushing the sheets back and wandering through into the kitchen and living area, was the aroma of hot food and coffee. Arian stood at the oven, pushing scrambled eggs around a pan while bacon sizzled in another. She had showered, her copper hair was damp and she had her favourite yellow bikini on with an almost white sundress draped over top.
I leaned against the countertop and watched her, not able to keep from smiling at how she bopped along to her own mumbled song. She turned around and stretched for something on the countertop that I was leaning on and gasped with fright.
"Ah," she laughed, clutching her chest. "You scared me. Do you have to sneak around like that?"
"I wasn't sneaking," I chuckled. She narrowed her gaze as she snatched up the salt shaker. Her attention fell to my torso for a brief moment and her cheeks turned a soft pink. I loved how she blushed whenever she admired me. I don't even think that she realised that she did it. But it was her poker face. She couldn't hide it.
When we met, she was hard to read. I never knew what she was thinking. It was more difficult because she would smile but her eyes said something else. With time, I've come to learn her tells. I'm more familiar with her expressions. Even if she does try to hide it, I was seeing better than I ever had before. However, her adorable blush has been around from the first moment that we met at the restaurant. It's so beautiful.
"What are you making?" I strolled over and stood behind her, resting my chin on her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her front. "Where did all of this come from?"
"Oh I woke up kind of early," she lowered the heat on the element and turned around, throwing her arms around my neck. "It wasn't even light out but I couldn't get back to sleep so I went down to the resort kitchen and started chatting to the chef who was getting breakfast prepped. We talked about food for a while and then I asked if I could have some ingredients. I offered to pay for them but he gave me some bacon and eggs and bread. Plus a few sausages and a few other things and I said thank you because he said I could have them for free. He said that we paid a lot for the resort so it seemed reasonable. Plus I think it was like a chef to chef favour. So that was nic—"
"Are you alright?"
She closed her mouth and stared up at me with a soft smile. "Yeah of course. Why?"
"Did you not sleep well last night?" I brushed her hair behind her ear, letting my hand come to rest at the back of her neck. "You just seem a little— wound up."
"Actually, I slept perfect last night," she ducked her head. "Like, right through. I didn't wake up or have a nightmare. I think that's why I was so well rested this morning."
I felt relieved as soon as she glanced back up and nodded. I wasn't in favour of her wandering around alone in the dark. It made me anxious. But she seemed so pleased with herself. So I let it go. She was here, she was safe. She was perfect.
"Well it smells incredible," I gave her a quick peck and started walking backwards. "I'm going to shower if I have enough time?"
She glanced at the bench top elements and lifted the lids. The aroma became ten times stronger when the steam rose from the hot ingredients and she turned back, shaking her head. "You're going to have to shower after breakfast."
"That's alright. I'll chuck on some clothes."
"You don't have to," she quickly said, turning back to her food. "I don't mind."
I laughed but wandered over and sat down at the breakfast bar. "Can I help with anything?"
"Nope," she shook her head with her back to me.
I watched her move around piling plates with eggs, sausages, bacon. We hadn't eaten a hot breakfast so far. We ordered smoothies or just had coffee for the most part. But I was excited to have Arian's cooking. All of her meals, no matter how simple, were mouthwatering.
"So," she set the stacked plates down and hopped up on to the stool beside me. She pressed a little kiss on my shoulder and jiggled with a wide smile. "What should we do today?"
My heart felt like it was attempting to push right out of my ribs while I watched her brimming with excitement. "It's all sorted. You're going to love it. I hope."
"Another surprise?" She arched her brow as she stabbed her fork into her eggs. "You're full of those aren't you?"
"Mhmm," I smiled. "Just for you."
We ate our meals together and Arian occasionally paused to question me about our plans. But I gave up nothing. It was too heartwarming to watch her thrill and excitement whenever she discovered what I had in store. I offered to help clean up after we'd finished breakfast but she wouldn't have it. She claimed that it would slow us down and she was in too much of a hurry to find out what we were doing. So she sent me off to shower while she organised the kitchen.
The SUV picked us up at ten and drove us to the Marine Habitat. Arian wanted to squeal. I could feel it in the way her torso sort of expanded with a sharp inhale. She held my hand and bounced along beside me as we wandered through the lobby. The staff directed us into a room with wetsuits and a couple dozen posters full of facts on the marine life. Bench seats surrounded the square room and stacks of pamphlets sat on a white table in the corner.
The staff ran us through the procedures when we were in the pools with the sea life. We paid attention and listened attentively because we didn't want to ruin the experience by doing something wrong.
I'd booked us in to have a private experience in most of the lagoons. The hibiscus lagoon with green sea turtles and hawksbill turtles. The reef lagoon with the sharks. The estuary lagoon with the new born sea life. But our first stop was the stingray lagoon.
We suited up and were led out into the large pool enclosure where dozens of stingrays swam through the clear water. The sun hit the rippling surface, it was bright and sweltering against the thick wet suits but the water was cool and we stepped down until it was at our hips.
"Hey guys," the woman in her wet suit held a large bucket. She had a thick accent and a full head of dark curled hair that was pulled into a knot on the top of her head. "I'm Déjà," she held out her hand for Arian but she was too occupied watching the creatures floating through the water not more than five feet from her legs.
"Ari," I touched a hand to her back and she startled, blushing when she realised that she had been unintentionally ignoring the woman's hand.
"I'm Arian," she blushed.
"Aiden."
She dropped my hand and smiled. "Well, I won't delay for long, the rays are hungry. Don't be afraid to feed them, alright. They are so gentle and the southern sting rays and cownose stingrays and so docile and non venomous. They won't hurt. Just take a handful of the food from the bucket and put your hand under the water. When the ray comes forward, open your palm flat. They don't bite."
We both reached into the bucket and to be honest, it stunk. The fish guts were blended and felt disgusting but Arian didn't complain, she filled her small palm up and lowered her hand beside mine under the surface. A couple of rays swam forward, their gracious wings waved around their frames. I opened my palm and laughed when it swam over my arm, it's mouth swallowing the food. It was a strange feeling and I glanced over at Arian when she began giggling.
"Ah it tickles," she laughed and used her free hand to caress the smooth surface of the Ray.
She watched it with total awe, her expression full of wonder. Nothing else seemed to exist when I saw her appreciation for these sea creatures. She continued scooping food out of the bucket that Déjà held. Rays swam around us, their slippery wings brushing our thighs while our instructor talked about the marine habitat and gave us more facts about the stingrays. I wanted to listen, but I was lost in admiring this beautiful girl beside me.
She glanced up with a breathtaking smile while she rubbed her hand across the rays surface. "They are so slippery. They feel so weird. Ahhh. I love it."
"Arian," I said, soaking in every inch of her gorgeous face. Water beads glistened on her skin. Her plump lips caught between her teeth as she raised her brows, waiting for me to continue. "I love you."
She recoiled a little, surprise smoothing her features. She didn't have to tell me that she loved me too. It just needed to come out. It needed to be said because it was consuming me, filling my chest with undeniable euphoric emotion and it was going to burst if I didn't get it off my tongue.
"I love you too," she murmured with a soft smile. Her chest rose and fell a little harder than before. I stole a quick glance at Déjà and realised that she was occupied with a Ray, feeding it and ignoring our intimate moment, which I was grateful for.
"I love you so much," she said again with a breathless laugh. "Give me a kiss!"
I laughed and leaned over, pressing our lips together.
We spent the entire day at the marine habitat. We met so many sea animals. We got so much sun but we kept cool in the water. It was an experience that I'll never forget. It was made more memorable with having Arian beside me. Her reactions were the best part.
"Thank you for today," she said after we'd cleaned up dinner. We stood at our bedroom sliding door which was wide open, allowing a view of the setting sun on the horizon. But it was still private. Arian was wearing her sundress again but nothing underneath it since she'd taken off her bikini when we got back.
"You don't have to thank me," I told her, running my hands up her back, the material bunching under my fingertips. "It was incredible. I loved it."
"I love you," she blushed, biting on her lip. "It feels nice saying that."
"And I love hearing it," I pulled her even closer against my shirtless torso. Her dress material was thin and I could feel her perfect figure against me.
She tiptoed up and kissed me. So I deepened it and our tongues met. Her hands clasped at the back of my neck and she pulled me in. I was lightheaded as our tongues moved together. She made me breathless. Her sweet scent, her gorgeous frame. My fingers danced over her silk smooth thighs as I walked her backwards towards the bed.
Her breathing was rapid and harsh as her hands travelled my shoulders and chest and I lifted her dress to pull it over her head. She leaned backwards enough to let me remove it and I glanced down at her perfect naked body for a moment until she met her mouth with mine again. As her hands tugged at my shorts to pull them down, I put my finger tips between her legs and began to slide inside of her.
"Wait," she stepped backwards and shook her head. "I'm just— I don't— um—"
I held my hands up. "It's okay. We can stop."
She dropped her gaze and snatched up her dress, pulling it over her head as she jogged past me towards the door. When I turned around, I found her standing just outside with her back to me. I cussed under my breath, not knowing what the fuck to do. I wanted to comfort her. But perhaps she didn't want to be touched. It wasn't often that I was at a loss.
But when I realised that she was sobbing and her shoulders shook, I jogged over and stepped in front of her, feeling my heart shatter as tears rolled down her sunkissed cheeks. "Baby—"
"I'm so sorry," she buried her face in her hands.
"Don't you dare apologise for not having sex with me," I tipped her chin back up and held her face so that she had to meet my eyes. It hurt more than I could fathom to see her in so much pain. "Don't apologise. Ever."
"But it's just unfair," she sniffed and almost choked on the words. "You paid for this trip and its be—been amazing and you told me you— you love me and I can't even—"
"I didn't tell you that I love you so that you'd have sex with me," I told her with a stern tone, rubbing my thumbs across her cheeks to rid her tears. "I told you that I love you because I felt it. Because I looked at you and saw the strongest girl, the most beautiful, the most appreciative, the one that has been saving my soul from the moment that we met. You don't owe me anything Arian. I owe you everything."
She smiled, her sobs catching in her throat as she tried to stop them from coming out. "But I want to do it. I want it. I just— I don't—"
"What happened was less than two weeks ago Arian," I pulled her in, resting my chin on her head. "You're healing and you can take as much time as you need."
She wrapped her petite arms around my middle. Her frame still shook but her sobs were slowing. "What if this doesn't go away?"
"It will," I kissed the top of her head. It occurred to me that she might— most likely — needed some therapy. But I'd suggest that when she wasn't so wound up. "And if it doesn't, I won't love you any less. I'm not going anywhere."
____
I was looking up male names for novels and I came across this and just died at how accurate it is.