Curly rested his head in his hands, attempting to listen to whatever Connie was going on about. He hadn't gotten much sleep the previous nights and he'd constantly find himself bolting awake in bed from a dream he couldn't quite remember. He had a strange feeling in his stomach and he didn't exactly know why. Business had been good, he had more money then he ever had and he was with a girl he absolutely adored. He just couldn't figure out why he was feeling so dull.
Connie asked him to meet her for lunch. He did about an hour after he dropped Daisy off at class. He thought she would've had something important to say but she just wanted to "shoot a breeze".
"So has Tim made any moves?" Curly asked while she was speaking mid-sentence.
Connie took in a deep breath and looked down, obviously holding on to something she didn't want Curly to know. "Uh.. He.. He's trying to get himself a little gang together but as far as I know it's dangerous over there. They're passed rumbles now.." Connie trailed off.
Curly chewed the dead skin on his lip and fiddled with his fingers. He never thought he'd see the days rumbles didn't work anymore. He had been to naive for his own good then, gangs just continue to advance and they continue wanting more. They want to inflict pain on everyone, over what? Money. Curly would often find himself in bed late at night asking if it was even worth it. Sure he felt good when he had money and conducted a big play. He felt powerful. But he reckoned he was only genuinely happy when he was with Daisy, actually laughing.
"Mm." Curly muttered out. "That sure is something."
A few awkward moments passed by before Connie leaned in slightly, "Jimmy and Tim really miss you."
Curly's eyes looked up to meet hers, Jimmy and Tim? Actually missing up? The thought seemed strange, foreign in his mind. He couldn't wrap his head around it, he thought Tim was glad he was gone. He didn't have anyone to look after anymore, no one to argue with him. He guessed it was one of Tim's non-sexual fantasies to get rid of him. Connie had to be bluffing, there had to be something she wanted. Was she attempting to butter him up and move in while he's vulnerable to make her plan?
"What's your deal, Connie? You ain't never been about the sentimental shit before. Why now?" Curly spits a bit too aggressively.
Connie flinches only slightly before the famous Winston scowl comes across her face. "Maybe I'm tryna be nice, ever thought about that?!"
"Huh." Curly says with a sarcastic chuckle. "A Winston ain't never nice."
"Alright fine. Everyone wants you home but you're too stupid to notice it. I thought maybe if you knew how much everyone missed you you'd come home and things would go back to normal.."
"Normal?"
"Yeah. Normal. Not that I don't enjoy selling together but y'know. Chilling back on the street, you and Tim hosting parties with your 'amigos' me and you.. Having fun." She trailed off.
Curly frowned. That wasn't normal, not to him. It was just a thing of the past. Just like she had been.
"Is it some sort of thought you get off to or something? Wanna fuck a Chicano and think you're a hot shot?" Curly shoots out.
"Fuck you!" Connie replies. "If you weren't being so dumb you'd realize I got feelings for you. You're so stupid you don't even notice that everyone's fucking obsessed with you, Curly.. your family, your friends."
He wanted to laugh, the words coming out of her mouth seemed so stupid. He wondered if this was some sort of plan between her and Dallas or her and Tim. Were they trying to get him to crave? Had they heard about his success and wanted a piece of the pie? He couldn't tell, her face was unreadable.
"Connie, I'm involved with someone else." Curly begins.
It's weird saying that too, he had never really said it out loud. He was set on trying to protect her so he avoided saying it out loud. Telling someone made it feel more official. More real. Even if it was just to a girl who confessed her feelings for him. "And as for mi familia. I'm sure I'm dead to them."
Over the past year his family proved to him how little family meant. Tim was selling drugs to the woman who gave birth to him and they covered up his old man's murder and his tios ostracized Jose. He was sure family almost meant nothing but some sort of title.
"Look, I gotta go. Maybe things'll be better next time we see each other." Curly said quickly.
He stood up from the booth and threw a few dollars on the table to settle the bill and quickly left before Connie could say anything. He didn't feel too hot. All he wanted to do was go home and smoke a cigarette, lay down with Daisy and not say anything, just listen to music. But Jose had something to take care of and Daisy had church. All that would just have to wait for when he wasn't busy all the time. He never would've thought selling would be more exhausting than school.
"Hey watch-" Curly began, looking up to see who he walked in to.
His body had froze, it felt like his mind had left completely and he was incapable of processing the moment. It had been about 5 months since he had last seen her, screaming with her boyfriend and making him hate his life. She looked better than she did last time, still beautiful but tired.
"Ma?"
"Chici?" Glorianna started.
Curly looked in her eyes, she looked confused, distraught. But she didn't look high or drunk and he was thankful for that. He stayed at a distance, he wasn't sure if he should hug her or walk away. She looked at him with guilt, tears pooled in her eyes giving her the appearance of a light glass. Curly flinched when she suddenly lunged at him and wrapped her arms around him. He thought about Angela and how she was so similar to their Ma. Yet she hated her. He wondered why it was so easy for Angela to hate her yet so hard for him? Through everything she put him through, he actually melted in her arms, he felt safe. And he hated that he felt that way.
"What you been up to mijo?" Glorianna asked as she sipped her coffee.
The two sat at a park bench, Glorianna sitting with her legs together like Daisy did, both hands wrapped around her coffee. Curly leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, smoking and blowing it out towards the ground. He couldn't face her, he felt too guilty, like he was betrayed Angela. And he couldn't leave or he'd betray his Ma.
"Nada.." Curly replied. "Y tu?" (Nothing, and you?)
Glorianna sighed and sipped her coffee. "I've been trying to get better, mijo. It's... it's hard baby."
"You could come back home.. or you could go to Jose's. I've been staying there."
Glorianna set her coffee down and turned to look at Curly. "You've been staying with Jose? Por que?"
"Tim kicked me out. He found out I was selling."
Glorianna kept a harsh stare before turned and shaking her head. "Dios mio, mijo. Jose's not good for you."
"And Tim is?" Curly scoffed.
Curly could see Glorianna's face turn red, both from the cold hair and from her anger. "Your hermano has done everything for you! I don't ever wanna hear you say that again."
"Like sell drugs to you?!"
"Callate!" (Shut up) "Don't go sticking your nose where it doesn't belong Charles, entiendes? Your brother has done everything in your favor! I would've gotten them anyway, at least I wouldn't of been dead on the street from being laced... Curly don't be mad at your brother, he's taken care of you when I didn't."
Curly didn't reply, instead he look down at his tattoo.
"Te quiero mucho. Pero don't be mad at your brother. He'd give his life for you."
Curly nodded slowly. He didn't completely agree with her and he didn't want to take the time to think about it. But he'd rather not waste the little bit of time he had with his mother, not when her life couldn't be promised. She was an addict and he learned at a young age not to trust her or else she'd hurt him once again.
"Hey Jose.. Is this shit important?" Curly asked as he looked out the window.
A few hours after Curly talked to his mom he met up with Jose. The sun was going down and they had been on a deserted road for quite some time. Curly wasn't sure but he felt like he was deep in the country, Jose hadn't told him anything about what they were doing, just that it was to be done tonight.
"It's something that needs to be done." Jose said simply.
Curly took a deep breath and leaned his headback on the headrest. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the car squeak. He thought back to his meeting with his mom and what she said. He wasn't sure if he was able to just forgive Tim for everything he did. He was sure Tim didn't give a shit anymore. And what would become of Curly if he did forgive him? The Shepard Gang was going through changes and he was probably already replaced.
"We're here." Jose said once the car stopped.
Curly opened his eyes and looked at his surroundings. They were in the deep plains of Oklahoma, where no one came unless you wanted to serious business like murder. Curly 2 other cars, parked with their lights still and men in the drivers seat. He looked towards Jose who motioned for him to get out of the car. Curly's heartbeat quickened and his legs felt like they'd give out. He wondered if Jose knew he had been pocketing extra money. Was he taking him out here to teach him a lesson? Jump him? Curly had done things like this before, taking someone to a deserted area and beating the shit out of them. He kept his mouth shut, just in case he didn't know. He had known that with working for police, never crack.
Jose whistled and motioned for the other men to come out. Curly had recognized them as people he had seen before when they were teaching him the basics and showing them about his side hustle. He felt Jose's hand come down and land on his shoulder which made Curly even more nervous. It was when Jose let out a soft chuckle that made Curly calm down some.
"Curly, this here is La Garcia Gang. Your reputation comes from this. You'll be 17 in shit... about a few days? It's time for you to really become a man. Tonight's the night. Let's go chicos."
Curly eyed the men as they went to the backseat of the car and dragged something out from the backseat. He figured it was a person once he heard the dreadful moaning. They shoved him into the middle, right in front of the car lights so everyone could see. "On your knees cabron." The man said, kicking the person in the back of his knee.
The person got on their knees, pleading over and over "Please don't hurt me."
It was when they removed the bandana Curly knew who it was and why they were there. The fucking screwdriver. This was an informal initiation. None of the gangs in Curly's neighborhood did this kind but it wasn't unheard of. The final step to a gang was to take someones life. Only then were you considered authentic and official. He was always curious how these went, Tim never spoke of it and now that he thought about it he figured it's because Tim went through one of his own.
"I've been grooming you. Selling, being around the block, getting you a gun. It's time chico." Jose said.
Curly looked to Jose, then the Garcia Gang, and then the kid. He was crying, begging with tears and snot. The sight made him almost laugh at how pitiful he looked, when Curly was jumped he wouldn't dare do it. It would only edge them on. He thought countless times and many nights how he'd get his revenge on the screwdriver but he never thought it would be like this. Killing him. Curly weighed his options, if he told Jose no, there's a good chance he'd die out there too. Gangs were like that, it was considered disrespectful.
He slowly reached in the waistband of his pants, still looking everyone over. They were waiting patiently and he wondered if they were always like this. Maybe it was because he was some sort of "legacy". Curly's hands shook as he looked over his gun, a pretty black thing. He wondered what Daisy would think if she saw him right now, if she'd cry or something. His mind flashed to her cross necklace, how it was always flashing in his eyes. He thought of Tim and what he would do. Would he say fuck it? How old was Tim when he killed someone?
"Go on, Curly. Don't be a fucking puta! Kill the fucking maricon, little worm." Jose egged on.
Curly took in a deep breath and looked at the Screwdriver kid. His eyes stared into Curly's like he was reading his soul. "Man, I'm sorry. Please. I got family. A daughter at home."
"Curly." Jose said again, a little bit of anger and impatience adding on.
Curly raised the gun, his hands shaking with every inch until he was sure his aim was perfect. He attempted to block out the screams of the kid. He didn't want to do this but it was his life or Curly's. He looked over at Jose, and Jose looked at him, giving him a slight nod. Curly took in a deep breath, looked down and pulled the trigger, immediately silencing the screams. It was deathly quiet, the sound of the gun firing still ringing in Curly's ears. He was frozen, stuck in place. Then suddenly he could hear laughter. He felt weird. Like he wasn't here, like he wasn't in his body.
"Good shot you bastard." Jose chuckled, slapping him on the back. "You're finally a man. Finally a Garcia."
Curly put the gun back in his pocket, barely listening to the orders Jose gave the men. He was focused on the body that was once alive. The body that was once a person who jumped him. A teenager. With a daughter. Who cried for his life. He just killed him. He took someones life. Was this what Tim was hiding from him? The guilt from a murder? Curly dropped the gun and quickly doubled over, knees on the ground, emptying the content in his stomach with the eyes staring at him. He could see now that he got him in the head. He now understood, what his dream had been about.
The rest of the night had been a blur and it felt like it was the nightmare Curly keep dreaming. Except it was now real. He had gotten back in the car and was taken to Jose's house. Pretending. But he wasn't really there. His mind was somewhere else. Anywhere else but with them. He had gotten a new tattoo on his arm, it said Garcia in small cursive letters. It was official now. He'd be considered a Garcia. He took a shower, attempting to wash his guilt off. He had been too far to get any blood on him but he felt like he had been covered in it. His skin was rubbed raw from scrubbing blood that he imagined to be there. Jose was passed out drunk once Curly slipped out the front door. He went to the only place he knew he could go to.
Her light had been out, like he expected. But she opened the window a few seconds after she knocked. She rubbed at her eyes, yawning as she opened her window. She sat in her bed and pulled her covers up. She hadn't said anything, he figured it was because she was sleeping. Curly relaxed back on the bed with Daisy's head resting on his chest. She had fallen asleep quickly as he he stared up at the window. It was in that moment he realized how thankful he was for her. That she was his everything. His "alma". He listened to her breathing and Stevie Wonder's Someday at Christmas. Man, had he fucked up.