"Jesus Christ!!"
Through the blur of the moment, Connor could see the Lieutenant rise quickly to his feet, shooting the Deviant behind him. Connor could hear the Deviant fall to the floor, its biocomponents whirring to a stop. Connor saw the flashes of red across his eyes. He could feel something in him; was this what pain felt like? However in that moment, through the pain and the stress, Connor only cared about one thing; you.
"Connor!! Connor!!" You screamed. Connor could barely see your face through his quickly blurring eyes. But he could see that you were crying and this upset him more than his imminent shutting down. He touched your face. You were alive. And he; he was going to die. This was the end. But only for him. Without thinking, Connor raised his other hand, so that both of his hands were holding your face in them. He knew that if you were alive, he was alive too. You were everything. In this moment, he held the whole world in his hands. You still clung onto him, even now, begging him to stay. Connor was growing weaker. If he was going to shut down, he wanted to at least take something with him. Nothing mattered anymore. He couldn't even feel bothered to reupload his memories; he knew now that that replacement would not be him. There were no more orders from Cyberlife, no words from Amanda, no more missions. There was just Connor and you in that moment. Without thinking, Connor moved his face closer to yours, until he could feel your breath on his face, and you could feel his. There might be no heaven for androids; but Connor felt this was the closest he would ever be to it. Slowly your lips met. All the feelings Connor had been suppressing welled within him. Human feelings, feelings of longing, love... and something more. Connor wanted to pull you closer to him; to feel your touch. Everything was getting harder now. But Connor felt... happy? Yes... this is what happiness was. This is what it meant to be human. Connor kissed you one more time, before your face faded into darkness, and everything turned black.
---
Connor could see the back of his eyelids. Was this death? He didn't feel the pain anymore, so he supposed it must be. Slowly he opened his eyes. Connor was lying on a soft surface, a sofa, in a room he recognized. This was the Lieutenants house. He had been there once before, a few months back, when they were investigating the Eden Club. Connor looked at a clock on the far wall. It was late. How long had he been asleep? Or was he still dead?
Connor looked down at himself. Instead of his shirt, he found a bandage, wrapped neatly around where the bullet hit him. When he touched the area, he no longer felt any pain there, and he could tell the bullet had been removed. Connor glanced to the coffee table directly beside the lounge where he lay. His uniform shirt was clean, and neatly folded. Not a single drop of thyrium was left on it, or left on Connor. Connor's memories of the incident were still blurry in his mind. He could see his interrogation of the Deviant, the deviant running, and the deviant holding the gun. The rest was a blur. He could see Hank, and he could see you. He could remember your crying face, the feeling of your arms around him, holding him close. Connor quickly searched the room for your presence. The Lieutenant was sitting across from Connor, on a smaller lounge chair, snoring slightly. Nearby was another lounge chair, where you lay curled up, the Lieutenant's dog Sumo curling around you. Connor felt himself relax, seeing your calm sleeping face. Carefully Connor stood up. He could hear his biocomponents whirring at a good pace, his LED a calm blue; that was a good sign. Connor slowly moved towards you. Sumo opened one eye to look at the android, before closing it again, content in your arms. You lay clinging onto the dog, wearing an oversized T-shirt, your hair falling gently about your face.
"Connor..." You mumbled in your sleep, making Connor hesitate. Then he slowly moved his hand towards your face, to brush your hair away.
"You're awake."
Connor flinched. The Lieutenant sat in the chair, awake now, looking at Connor. Connor quickly moved away from you, looking a little defensive. Hank glanced between you and Connor, his expression not changing.
"What happened...?" Connor asked hesitantly. Hank gestured for Connor to sit again, and he did. Hank rubbed his hand over his weary eyes.
"You really fucking scared us back there, jumping in front of [F/N] like that..." Hank met Connor's gaze, and continued seriously, "We really thought you weren't going to make it..." Connor didn't reply.
Hank continued, "It's thanks to that woman sleeping over there that you're still here at all." Hank nodded in your direction, where you remained sleeping quietly.
"Did she do all this?" Connor looked down at the neat bandage over the wound, his cleaned and neatly folded clothes on the table.
"Well she wouldn't let any of us go near you, that's for sure," Hank chuckled dryly. "It's lucky she was there at the time. She was the only one who had enough knowledge on you androids that she knew how to patch you up..."
"Why am I... here?"
"We first took you back to the department. [F/N] insisted on us leaving her to repair you. She later told me that the bullet didn't hit a...a uh--"
"Biocomponent."
"Yeah, sure," Hank sighed. "She wants you to go and get more... more blood transplanted sometime to uh... to uhh... I don't know, just ask her about it." Hank continued, "She managed to stop anymore blue blood seeping out, but you still lost a lot and I mean a lot. Jesus those androids have a lot of work on their hands..."
"She saved me..." Connor tentatively touched the patched wound on his chest. Even though the bullet didn't hit a biocomponent, he was still extremely lucky to be functional.
"Yeah... she did," Hank's expression softened. "She saved your life Connor..." They both silently looked at you. Sumo was now awake, observing the situation from where he lay.
Hank proceeded to tell Connor that you refused to leave his side, even in your tired state. It was on Hank's suggestion that you were both moved to his place to recuperate, at least until Connor awoke. He awoke much sooner than any of them had expected, and that was thanks to your quick thinking in saving him. You insisted on stitching and cleaning his uniform, even though you knew he could get another one from Cyberlife. You wanted to stay awake and watch him rest, but you ended up falling asleep. Sumo had taken a liking to you, and refused to leave your side throughout the whole ordeal.
"Hey Connor... mind if I ask you something?"
"No... ask away."
"How much do you remember about what happened before you shut down?"
Connor blinked. He tried to recall all of the events that happened before he shut down. There was blurry patch, right before he shut down, where he saw your face.
"The last thing I remember was seeing [F/N]'s face... that's all..."
"...Do you remember what you did?"
"What I did?" Connor thought slowly, "I-I don't know..."
"Jesus Christ..." Hank brushed his hand through his hair. Connor sat back on the chair, looking across at the Lieutenant. The Lieutenant looked a little flushed... was he blushing?
"You really don't remember...?" Hank looked at Connor's blank expression and sighed. "Jesus..."
"What? What am I forgetting?"
"Perhaps it is better that you forgot Connor. If this gets out... Well, to be frank, you showed Deviant behavior Connor."
"But I am not Deviant," Connor insisted. "I jumped in front of the bullet because having [F/N] injured would severely slow down the investigation. I was only doing it to complete my mission."
"No, that's not what I mean," Hank leaned forward, his hands on his knees. "There's something going on between you and [F/N], isn't there?"
Connor felt a strange feeling stir inside him again. A feeling that made his biocomponents move faster, his breaths come quicker.
"No... I don't know what you're referring to Lieutenant."
"Well... if you have conveniently forgotten then I guess I have to jog your memory," Hank muttered. "I suppose I just have to tell you outright; you kissed [F/N]."
Kissed? Connor had to double take. Did the Lieutenant really just say that? Connor felt his face grow hot as thyrium rushed to it. He searched deeper through his memories, trying to find the moment where this strange behavior occurred. He could distantly remember the feeling of your lips pressed on his, his hands on your face. But he still wanted to deny the memory, act as if it had never happened.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about... I would never..."
"Well, you did. Twice," Hank insisted. Connor couldn't deny it. The memory was clear in his mind now. He had been holding it back because he didn't want to accept it, but it had happened, and all the investigators were there to witness it. It was lucky he didn't upload his memories after all.
"I... I wasn't programmed to... I wasn't supposed to..." Connor muttered, trying to find the right words to say. He realized at this same moment, that this was also Deviant behavior. He was acting like a Deviant. What was going on? He was not human, so why was he acting so strangely?
"Lieutenant..." Connor started. "H-Hank, please help me," Connor looked desperately at the Lieutenant sitting across from him. "I can't stop... I can't stop these feelings... I want them to stop."
Hanks expression softened. "Took ya long enough..." He sighed. He walked over to Connor. Connor wasn't sure what he was going to do, but was shocked when Hank pulled him into an enormous bear hug.
"Lieutenant, what are you doing?!"
"You've gone far since we were first introduced. You're no longer just the 'android sent from Cyberlife,' are you?" Hank chuckled. Connor pushed Hank away.
"This is all just a fault in my programming... that's all."
"Connor..." Hank put his hands on Connor's shoulders. "It's love."
Love? How could such a human emotion be stirring inside him? Connor couldn't process it. None of it made any sense. Was it because of you that he was feeling these strange new feelings? Was this the result of you being so close to him? At first Connor felt happy. It was love. Beautiful, freeing, mesmerizing love. Then horror washed over him, as he realized the truth of the situation. He was still just an android. An android controlled by the system that created him. And they would have seen everything. He was at risk of becoming Deviant now, if he wasn't already. They knew your face. They would come after him; and then they would go after you. Connor's LED turned red.
"Whoa, whoa, Connor, what's wrong?"
"I swear I moved without thinking, it all happened so fast, so fast. That doesn't make me a Deviant." Connor murmured.
"Connor, calm down."
"I'm not a Deviant!! They... they wouldn't... they couldn't possibly..."
"Connor--"
"I'm not a Deviant!!"
Hank slapped Connor, snapping him out of his state. "For fucks sake Connor, calm the fuck down."
"They will come after her Hank... And they will come after me..." Hank's expression slowly mirrored Connor's expression of horror.
"W-Who are you talkin' about Connor? Who would... who would do that?"
"Cyberlife," Connor stammered. "I was designed to accomplish my mission, and I have failed too many times..."
"B-But why would they hurt her, that doesn't make sense, they can't do that."
"They would," Connor insisted, "The best case would be my deactivation. But now... I fear she may be in danger too..."
Connor sank onto the sofa behind him, his head in his hands. The Lieutenant sank onto the couch opposite.
"So what are you going to do then...?" Hank murmured after a long moment.
"I don't know... I was not programmed for situations such as these... I don't have the capacity to understand such complex human emotions..." Connor finally raised his head to look at you, still sleeping calmly through the ordeal. "I know I should stay away... go as far as possible... but I can't do it. I... I don't want to leave her behind."
"...You really love her, don't you Connor?"
"Yes... In human terms, I suppose you could say that..."
They were silent for a moment. They could only hear the ticking of the clock on the wall, counting the hours when they could not.
"Hank...?"
"Yeah?"
"Please... Don't tell [F/N] about any of this..." Connor said quietly, "I don't want her to feel fear... I want her to feel safe."
"Okay... Are you sure?" Hank looked seriously at Connor. Connor nodded.
"Yes. Also..." Connor hesitated, "If they come after me... and I have to leave her behind... please protect her. Do whatever it takes."
"It won't come to that!" Hank said quickly, "But... if it does, then of course I will. You know I would."
"Thank you," Connor finally smiled. "I trust you Hank."
---
It didn't do anything to simply remain still in the silence of the moment. Morning was coming quickly now, and the Lieutenant left with the excuse that it was Sumo's breakfast time, taking Sumo with him. With the Lieutenant gone, Connor quietly moved over to you. He analyzed your sleeping face. Your body temperature was quite low, now that the dog was no longer with you. Connor quickly searched the room, finding an old blanket, which he wrapped around you.
"Connor..." You mumbled. Connor lips moved into a slight smile.
Your body temperature was still low, and there was nothing else Connor could wrap around you. Hesitantly, Connor sat beside you on the couch, moving your head to rest on his lap. This was fine. If things could stay this way, then Connor could be happy. Happy? That was new too. Maybe Connor was more human than he first thought. He couldn't feel Amanda in his mind. He couldn't feel anything less than human. In this moment, you were alone with each other.
Slowly Connor closed his eyes, and with you still in his arms, you both slept on.
---
"Sumo!!" Hank called. Where was the old dog? Hank had just finished preparing breakfast for him, and now he had left again. Hank called him again, with no response. He walked through the house, in search of him, coming once again to the cluttered living room.
"There you are... I knew you had gotten yourself somewhere." Hank couldn't help but smile at the peaceful sight in front of him.
You lay curled up in Connor's arms, Sumo sprawled out in the middle, also fast asleep.
Hank sighed. It seemed he had his work cut out for him.