My more youthful self believed in an irreplaceable energy between souls. An energy that cannot be found easily. An energy that connects individuals in a moment, and they stay connected forever.
It is uncommon to understand this energy, but even more uncommon to truly experience it.
I have experienced this energy. It is my lifeline, and my motivation to get up every morning. It is what I live for. This connection, this energy, is what makes a person more alive. It cannot be found anywhere else.
Perhaps that is the reason why I have been so miserable this entire year. That energy has left my life. It is completely gone. Not even a speck of that energy is left in my life. I miss it.
However it is much easier to blame my suffering on someone else. I have blamed it on her this entire year: Headmistress Lilith.
Lilith is our new headmistress of our school Sweet Falls Preparatory in this year, 3000. Poor test scores and drug problems got our old headmaster fired. I thought it would be a better year where I could have freedom and hope.
I can see her in my head now. She stands in front of the podium in our school auditorium on the first day in her annoying strict voice saying, "A new start," she said. "Things will improve in this school. Forget everything before me, because, now, I am in charge."
She would brush her fingers through her bangs on her short brown/grayish pin curled hair that reaches her ears and readjust her all black suit. She always wanted to be perfect. That made her so frustrated with her life if you ask me. Every time I've seen her, her mouth would always be in a wrinkled frown and her dark eyebrows in a deep furrow. She was so angry at the world.
She was right in a way in her speech though. Things were going to change. But not for the better. Every rule that could be put into place, was put into place. 10 hour school days with one break for lunch.
Time spent having fun with friends was basically impossible. So it wasn't surprising how music and art programs were shut down and those teachers were laid off. Barely any interaction. No fun ever. Production and hard work was the only goal, all the time. Lilith discouraged it so much that it didn't even seem fun anymore. I can hear her voice again in the back of my mind, "socially connecting with others limits the time spent intellectually."
The only time where we could communicate with friends was during lunch. Which is where I am now.
I am leaning against the white wall of the school, watching Asher dribble the ball up and down the court. He runs past his friend who tried to block and dunks the basketball right over him. As soon as he scores, his bright blue eyes light up as they lock in with mine. He gives me a pearly white smile and calls my name:
"Kiana!"
I smile and give a small chuckle. Oh boy, here we go again. I uncross my arms and walk casually closer to the center of the court where he stood. My wavy long brown hair blows in the breeze as I walk over to him.
I stand much shorter in front of Asher's tall, tan, muscular frame. He is wearing the school uniform: white button up, black pants, and black shoes, like usual. Everyday all the boys are forced to wear that. Besides that, he can be characterized by his light sunny blonde hair and light blue eyes. His hair is slightly wavy and falls just below his ears. His light blue eyes stand out against his blonde thick eyebrows and tan skin. He also has nicely shaped light pink lips that cover a set of straight white teeth.
His friend stands next to him, matching him in the same uniform. His friend is named Milo. He stands out with his auburn colored hair that makes you question whether or not he is a redhead or a brunette. He also has pale skin, freckles, and kind, dark brown eyes. He has a tall lean frame, and he's fairly shy most of the time. Very different from Asher's outgoing personality.
Asher quickly throws the basketball to Milo, who fumbles with it before getting a hold of it.
"I can see you were very interested in the game we just played, Kiana," Asher teased.
Ha. Maybe not so much. I scratch my head, "Yeah...I was watching..."
"Clearly. What was the score?"
"Uh..."
"Do you at least know who won?"
"You?" I question, trying not to laugh. It was a 50/50 shot.
Asher rolls his eyes and smirks. "Well that's obvious. You don't have to be paying attention to know that."
I roll my eyes while feeling myself blush slightly. Asher me a smirk and chuckles.
I mean, It's true. I was not paying attention at all. I didn't notice how much I was zoning out before until Asher pointed it out. He always says to me, I know you better than you know yourself, Kiana. Sometimes I think he's wrong about that, I know myself pretty well. But there are other times where he points stuff out that I don't even notice I do myself.
Milo crosses his arms, looking annoyed. "I'll have you know, I'm actually really good at basketball. OK? So stop chuckling, because Asher is about to get crushed in this next game."
Asher gives Milo a dirty look and nudges him in the rib. Milo sighs and scratches the back of his head.
"Nevermind, let's do what Kiana wants to do. I don't care... much." Milo adds fake smiling and then looking down at his basketball.
I laugh. They were so weird. I didn't understand the relationship, but their banter was quite funny to me. Like brothers.
I suggest, "Maybe Milo could play basketball and we can just eat by the picnic table?"
"That sounds great." Asher smiles. "Milo needs to improve on his skills and Kiana and I get some alone time together. Everyone wins."
I blush. He surely wants to spend alone time with me. I don't know what this all means. I'll have to tell my best friend Victoria about all this later. She has been trying to set Asher and I up for a while. She would say: "Are you BLIND? He likes you!" as she always does.
Milo rolls his eyes, "Yeah. Have fun you two." Then he dribbles his way back onto the court.
My eyebrows raise at his tone. He was so shy, yet so aggressive. His aggressiveness would be at its highest whenever Asher is with me. It reminded me of a little brother who would get mad if their older brother would sit in the front seat. It was simply a weird dynamic between us three, and one I didn't know how to explain.
Asher calls out to him, "Practice some free throws while you're there, buddy! You need it!"
I laugh as Milo turns his face and gives him a dirty look. He chuckles.
I smile, "I'll never understand you two."
He starts walking, "I love that kid. You and him are definitely my favorite people here."
I walk by his side and smile, "Same here... well and Victoria of course."
As I sat down at the picnic table, he came near and sat down next to me. He puts his hands on the table and looks at me, "I used to not like Victoria, I'm gonna be honest with you, but now-"
"Don't you dare say anything bad about her. She's my best friend."
"I'm notttt.... I'm just saying that now I realize how great she is. She is probably one of the nicest people here."
Hmph. Whatever. If he said anything more I would have gotten annoyed. I don't know or care what he used to have against Victoria but I didn't like it. He used to give sarcastic comments whenever she was around and I'd always tell him to shut up. He doesn't do it anymore but I couldn't stand it. She's perfect. I can't see Victoria doing anything wrong honestly.
"Anyways... on that note, you hungry?" Asher grabbed his backpack and pulled out two sandwiches. He shook one in the air with a smile.
I nodded, smiling. "Yes, thank you."
"Of course."
He handed one to me and I took it happily,
I bit into my sandwich with hunger. I'm glad he managed to grab me one. I was starving.
No like literally. Lilith limited the amount of food we can get from the cafeteria saying, "Hydration and Hunger promote excellence." Crazy woman. She was insane. How the fuck would getting only one 500 calorie meal a day help us to succeed in life?
Being with Asher was the only thing that made me forget about Lilith. Especially being able to be outside and be free from all that mess. All the studying, all the tests, all the grades. Today I have been feeling happy for once. Which is rare.
It reminds me a bit of that energy that I am obsessed with. Only a bit. Of course, it isn't nearly to the extent of that, but it was close. Perhaps I am pretending it is to make myself feel better. But maybe...? Was it real? It was almost there... but not quite. Yet? Maybe? Someday?
I'm overthinking and confusing myself, I think.
I look up and notice that Asher seems out of it too. He stares very intensely at the school behind me. His blonde eyebrows furrow over his light blue eyes as he looks at it with concern. He was not even paying attention to me at all.
I roll my eyes.
"Asher..? Lilith isn't here, you can forget about your studies for one minute," I laugh and wave my hand in front of his eyes to wake him up from his trance-like state.
He opens his mouth but doesn't respond. I've never seen him look like that. He looks like he's seen a ghost.
Uh... ok?
"What the hell...." Asher gasps and then freezes.
"What?" I ask, turning around.
I turn and look up at the bell, on the top of our giant white school, and on fire. The entire bell was on fire.
I hear Milo drop his basketball as he looks in the same direction. What was going on??
My heart stops in my chest. Fire. I don't know what to do. I want to yell "Fire!" but I can't get the words out. I look at the two boys. Why won't Asher say anything? Why won't Milo? Lilith takes our phones during day hours so I can't call anybody. What should I do? Yell? I watch the fire grow as Asher and I stand up as he holds me.
Then, the unexpected became even more unexpected. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Bombs go off inside the school. I stand in place, unable to move or process anything.
Asher quickly starts pulling me in the opposite direction of the school. He knows we have to run.
"Asher! What's happening?!" I exclaim.
He grabs my arm, tugging at me. Milo runs over to us and tugs Asher, running.
"I don't know but those were bombs! We have to go! We have to run!"
I get pulled along, my mind frozen and my legs barely able to move.
Asher screams at me, "Come on! COME ON Kiana! Wake up! Whoever is in there won't spare our lives!"
I keep thinking about my teachers, Victoria, and other friends I may be leaving behind. Who would do this to us?
My worries cause me to push off his hand and yell at him, "What about them? What about my friends? I have to go back. It's the right thing to do! I can't leave- I have to-"
Another huge boom goes off as I yell, and I scream and jump back in fear. Looking towards the science wing of the school, I can see it now covered in flames.
Tears stream down my face and Asher grabs my arm and starts running again. I suppose I start to run without thinking because then I find myself seconds later running in the woods.
I just push my legs to go faster. I keep running and I try to keep up with Asher and Milo for what feels like an hour. My heart is pounding faster than it ever had as I try to keep up. They were athletes. I was not. We run through the bushes, run around the trees, run through the woods, I just run.
Eventually we end in a spot in the woods deemed safe, because the boys stop. I stand in fear and in shock. My friends, my teachers... the bombs... did they die?
So here we stand. The unlikely trio of the star athlete, the studious girl, and the shy redhead. We are on top of the hill, surrounded by forest below. Clothes dirty and ripped, and out of breath.
I look to see the school completely demolished. Crumbling and black. No people. No firemen or policemen. Nobody. No one is coming to save them. I feel tears running down my face as I hear Milo's voice,
"This is going to be the end of the world"