"How did you manage to get grounded for three whole months?" Jace asked, his disbelief bluntly apparent even over the phone.
"Cause I'm freaking brilliant that's way," I sighed, collapsing onto my bed. "And I'm grounded for three months tentatively. Mom's still debating if she's going to kill me or not."
"And she's making you get a job?"
I winced at that reminder. As if social isolation wasn't enough torture, Mom somehow reached the deluded conclusion that getting a job would make me more responsible. Yeah if she, the Queen of Nagging and Punishment, hadn't managed to whip me into shape after all these years I sincerely doubt any job could.
"She already has it lined up and everything," I grumbled.
"Where?"
"No way in hell am I telling you. You're just going to make fun of me," I pointed out curtly.
"Now Kyle," I heard Jace sigh, "We've been friends for ages. Would I really do that to you?"
"Yes."
"Well, there's really no point in our friendship if I can't mock your failures. Besides that, you don't have many redeeming qualities. So where?"
"Fuck you," I snapped pressing end call and tossing my phone into the pile of dirty laundry.
There was no way—no god-damn way—I was telling Jace that I was working at Tweety Sweety, the "haven of bakery goods and all things cutesy". I was forced to take Hailey there once and I swore on my manhood that I would never set foot in that cookie-cutter, rainbow-and-unicorns hell-hole again. As if working at a bakery wasn't bad enough, Tweety Sweety's staff had to wear uniforms. Pink uniforms. With hats that looked like cupcakes.
Why couldn't Mom have a friend who owned an arcade instead of a damn bakery? Worst of all was that I started Monday so I had all weekend to dread it.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Someone said, interrupting my moping session.
I cracked one eye open to see Hailey leaning in my doorway.
"I'm going to kill you," I promised. "This is all your fault."
"Actually, if you want to be technical, it's your fault. You were the one running late. If you were on time, mom would never have seen me alone and I wouldn't have had to tell her the truth."
I grimaced. I really hated her and her cut-throat logic at this moment.
"I had plans."
"Oh, more evasiveness I see. I'll find whatever your secret is, you know I will."
"Did you come just to annoy me?"
Hailey shook her head. "No. Mom wanted me to remind you that trash duty is part of your punishment and she wants it done before she comes home. Which should be soon, in case your procrastinative self is wondering."
"Fine, fine." I mumbled stumbling to my feet and shoving past her. At least Mom had the decency to have the trash tied and ready and waiting by the door. I snatched and hauled it outside.
It was already dark, the only lights were from each house's porches. The streetlights had blown weeks ago and supposedly someone had reported it, but nothing about it had been done so the neighbors started leaving their outdoor lights on instead. It didn't help. The streets remained unbrokenly black.
I threw the bags into the trashcan and scrapped the can down the driveway.
"There," I grunted as soon as it was on the curb. "Now Her Highness can come home to a trash-less house, curtsy of this grounded plebian."
I didn't think anything of it. I should have, for a lot of reasons—it was past nine, way too dark to be out, she wasn't the least bit familiar—but when I saw a hunched old lady picking up what appeared to be spilled groceries, I didn't think anything of it.
"Here, I'll help you with that," I insisted, bending down to grab an apple that had rolled towards me and handing it to her.
"Oh, thank you so much sweetie, but I have something else you can help me with," She rasped. Her voice was odd, so young and yet old at the same time. It didn't quite fit.
The warning bells went off in my head all too late. Her bony hand chained itself around my wrist in an iron grip. Smooth, her hand should have been almost skeletal, but they were perfectly smooth. My eyes trailed up those hands to black robes to, finally, her face.
It was as smooth and youthful as her hands. But what frightened me to my very core was her abyssal eyes. No white, no irises, just black marbles etched into china.
And then she smiled. Razor teeth, sharp teeth, inhuman teeth, gleamed only a breath in front of me.
"Shit!" I cursed trying to claw away from her.
"Aw, calm down love," She hummed using her other hand to drag a sharpened nail carelessly across my check. "My, don't you smell so tasty."
Her nail dug into my cheek and I winced as she nicked it. She took it and licked.
"Delicious," she purred, bringing her face close enough to me that I could smell the rot on her.
God, I wanted to move. I wanted to scream. Hell, I wanted to slug her right in the face, but my body and mind were petrified still.
She licked her lip and leaned closer to my neck. I could feel her lips and breathe hovering just above my skin. Those teeth, just above my skin.
"No," I managed to stutter out. That one word was all it took to break my spell. I violently fought against her hold. "Let me the fuck go!"
There was a burning, blinding light and the next thing I knew she was gone, thrown against the asphalt at least ten feet from me. A trail of destroyed rubble laid between us, as if a meteorite or something had skidded across the ground.
My back pocket was scorching, and I hastily removed the fiery object. Eskil's necklace. I had forgotten all about it. It pulsed, both in light and in vibrations in my hand. Had I hit a switch on it by mistake?
I didn't have time to think about it anymore. The women stirred in the rumble and staggered to her feet. Dust layered her and she didn't stop swaying even when she was on two feet. Her eyes locked callously on mine and she hissed before it was cut off, her eyes darting to what I clutched in my hand.
Something akin to fear settled over her, but she immediately composed herself.
"Give me that and I will leave you alive," she offered.
In a sense, it was a pretty good offer considering I wasn't entirely sure she was human and I had no idea on how I'd stop her from killing me if she chose to. But, I clutched the necklace tighter in my grip, but something in my gut told me not to give it up and I had always been one to trust my instincts even in the worst of situations.
I really am an idiot, I thought as I sealed my fate. "No,"
"Then I'll kill you and take it!" She screeched, fury exploding in her sneer as she charged at me.
I threw my arms to block my face—a weak effort of defense, I know—but the attack never came. I peeked through my limb-shield to see another figure, a man, before me. He towered above the surroundings in height and in mass, but what caused me to freeze was what he had in his right hand.
Head. He had her fucking severed head. I could smell the blood pooling from her neck, could see it dripping to the ground and onto her very dead body that laid at his feet.
He turned to me, the head swinging like a pendulum in his grip.
"You're not His Lordship," he noted, his eyes becoming slits as he tensed.
I wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that or to him, the wild man that appeared out of nowhere severing heads of demonic youthful grannies. All the adrenaline that had been fueling me with face Bravo had faded and the reality of everything punched me square in the stomach.
His eyes flashed to the necklace and snarled, veins rippling on his arms, and I scrambled back to further the distance between us.
"Where did you steal it?" He thundered.
"It was a gift!" I defended.
"We shall see," he snarled before hurling something at me. The necklace hummed and flamed in my grasp. There was another blazing light. Whatever he threw clattered harmlessly to the ground in front of me. My eyes widened. It was a dagger. All emotions and fear the past hour caused came spewing out of me in rage.
"What the hell man!" I snapped scrambling to my feet. "You could have fucking killed me!"
"Impossible," the man mumbled glancing between me and the necklace with his brow furrowed. It would have been hilarious to see such a cave-man in such deep thought if I hadn't been so god-damn pissed and confused.
"I don't understand it much either, but you can't just go throwing weapons at people!" I shouted, fuming.
The gigantic brute startled me by falling to his knee to bow.
"Forgive me," he said, head bowed. "I never expected—after all this time—there was no indication—no, there is no excuse. I apologize profusely for raising a hand against my Master's chosen. From now on I will use my life to protect you from harm."
What. The. Actual. Fuck. First, Granny tries to kill me. Then Eskil's present somehow managed to protect me from being murdered. Now, this random dude is pledging some kind of eternal and undying loyalty to me. This was too insane to process right now.
I shook my head. "You know what? I'm done. That's enough hoopla for tonight. I'm officially going to sleep and I'll deal with whatever this is in the morning. Hopefully, it's all just a bad, messed-up dream," I muttered to myself as I started to the door and locked it behind me.
I didn't even bother looking back as I turned off the light and sprinted upstairs nor did I stop when Hailey asked: "where's the fire?" I went straight to my room, locked the door, secured all the windows, closed all the blinds then climbed into bed and closed my eyes.