Lily's engagement party is a torture in all forms because it kept giving me flashbacks about Terrence. But according to Paige, I should just suck it all up. Lily chose to host the party at Beckett's Table. It's probably the best restaurant around the Biltmore area. The restaurant had a warm comfortable feeling with an open kitchen. We have frequent trips to this restaurant before Dad passed away, mostly because he was friends with Chef Beckett. When Paige and I got there, the place was swarming with guests even if it was only minutes before the program starts.
"I didn't know Lily invited a lot of people. I thought it was, uh, intimate."
"You know how unpredictable my sister can be sometimes. I've learned to live with it." Just then I saw mom walking towards my direction.
"Lulu darling! I am so glad you're finally here! Your sister has been looking for you earlier. Oh hi Paige!" She said while giving us both hugs. Then she shrieked when she saw my new hair, "Wait a minute, what happened to your hair young lady? Who on earth destroyed your precious golden hair?!" Oh shoot. Mom has a tendency to overreact at situations that doesn't even need a reaction in the first place. "I sort of changed appearance? Do you like it mother?" I flashed a huge smile. She looks disgusted by my new auburn hair but she has to put up with it especially if she wants to embrace The New Loise.
"Do I even have a choice? It's already there. Anyway, try to circulate please. I saw Scott and Nate earlier." Ugh.
"MOM!?"
"What?? Okay okay. I'll stop. How about your speech? Please tell me you have one."
"It's all right here." I planted my hands in my chest. I don't need to memorize it or have it written down because I want it all to come from my heart.
"I trust you. I'll see you girls later okay?" Then my eyes brought me to Lily and Troy's picture that was plastered on one wall. Well, I must have to admit though. They look really good together. I just hope Troy won't do what Terrence did to me.
"Lulu! Oh good you're finally here. I'm so busy at the moment. Can you take this to the planner? She's by the counter over there. Thanks!" She passed on to me a platter filled with invitations for her wedding. Right before I could even say anything she was off again. The soon-to-be bride is in chaos. I wonder what it's like, being all over the place and looking for the best and perfect wedding gown. Sigh. I could only hope. While I was walking towards the counter to hand the planner the wedding invites, my steps were starting to wobble and eventually I slipped. The tray I was holding flew in the air and the invites were tossed everywhere like some confetti. I'm screwed, I thought to myself. Lily's going to kill me! My face was flushing in red. I was trying so hard to keep my cool while gathering the invites. How could I be so clumsy at a time like this? I took a glance at everyone and yes, as expected they were staring at me. When will this night ever come screeching to a glorious end?
"Loise?" I stood up and saw a guy helping me pick out the invites scattered on the floor.
"Uh, yeah? Do I know you?" I nodded as he reached out his hand to meet mine.
"I knew it! It's me Scott Kydd." Holy crap. I felt my jaw drop open. This couldn't be Scott. I mean, he did have the facial features of my playmate back then but wow. It's a good thing he recognized me because I surely didn't recognize him. He swept an appreciative glance at me from head to toe, "You remember me right? Wow. I was on the lookout for a five year old with a big blue ribbon headband but I realized you look exactly like her." I laughed. He remembers my favourite blue ribbon headband! For a moment there I forgot all about Terrence. He glided his hand behind my back, leading me to a table. I don't know but his touch shot electricity all throughout my body.
"I see you've really grown up Loise. I guess I can't call you Lulu bear anymore."
"Oh please, by all means. Mom still calls me that. And as much as I hate being called that, it sort of stuck." He completely messed up my thoughts. I still couldn't believe that right here with me was the same guy who used to play Smurfs with me turned out to be so drool-worthy.
"So uhm, I heard you're back in town for Lily's wedding?"
"Yeah. Nate couldn't miss it for the world. He's happy for Lily though." My eyes scanned his face. Wow. He did turn out to be gorgeous with his blue eyes and those lips. Damn. He still has his signature curly hair but other than that, he's really hot.
"Your mom told me you just lost your job? And oh, I'm sorry about your boyfriend." I can't believe mom has dished out the breaking news to Scott. She should have at least reserved that for when I actually have the guts to date anybody.
"Yeah well, I wanted to..." Just then Paige came rushing. "Hey! Are you okay? I told you not to wear those heels. They looked like they were about to fall out any minute." I shot her a look which she immediately noticed. "Paige? Wow. I can't believe how much I've missed out back here!" They both exchanged hugs. Really. There was something about Scott's smile that melts your heart. Or maybe it's just me.
"We should catch up one of these days, what do you think Loise?" Scott said. "Of course we should! Loise and I can't wait to hear what you're up to now Scottie. Right Lulu?" Paige replied while giving me the look as if to say Say yes or I'll kill you later. "Yeah, I think we should." I finally gave in. After our brief conversation we decided to exchange numbers. The program was about to start, "So uhm, I'll see you girls around." Did he just wink at me? I'm pretty sure it was at me.
"Oh my goodness Lu. I don't know about you but I'm melting. He's so hot!" I was trying so hard to process that the Scott I used to play Smurfs with on our backyard was the same Scott I just met minutes ago. I was brought back to reality when my sister called out to me.
"Loise! Is your speech rea – "
"Yes Lily. Hey, relax okay. It's your party. You're supposed to chill."
"That's what I kept telling her earlier. Don't worry Loise. When we're married, all your sister has to worry about is to give me beautiful children." Aww. Troy is so sweet.
"Hey Troy. I know I don't have a record of successful relationships to begin with but if you hurt my sister, I have a pretty good record when it comes to crushing bones." And I mean it. But I never did it to Terrence though. My heart was too broken to crush his, even if he really deserved it.
"I'll keep that in mind Lulu bear." I really need everyone to stop calling me that. If I want to totally turn in a new leaf, that childhood nickname has to go. I realized it was my cue to go up in front of everyone.
"A pleasant evening to you all! I'm Loise, Lily's younger sister. I uh, I just wanted to say that Lily and I had always dreamed of walking up the aisle on our way to marry the guy of our dreams and start our own happily ever after the way our parents did. She's the kind of person who takes care of everyone she loves. When she met Troy, her world changed. I really think they deserve each other. We've prepared a slideshow of these two growing up. Enjoy!"
After catching up with my cousins, I got tired and found myself drinking alone at the bar of the restaurant, contemplating how I didn't feel right about being there. I was physically present but my mind was somewhere else. I thought I could escape Terrence if I went to Lily's engagement party. I looked at Lily and Troy who were both very happy and in love and I see myself. All I ever did was love Terrence so much, but why was I in the losing end? I decided to breathe in some much needed fresh air outside. The party is eating me up like crazy.
"Hey." I recognized a familiar voice I heard earlier. I turned around and realized it was Scott. I flashed a smile as he sat beside me in the bench.
"It's been awhile," he said while pushing back his curly dirty blonde hair from his forehead. "What it's been? Ten Years? No maybe fifteen?"
"Yes about that," I replied.
"I think we were sixteen the last time we met," he added, "It was that wedding. My parents were friends with your uncle. You and Paige were the bridesmaids remember?" Oh God. How could I possibly forget that day? I buried my face in my hands and tried to obliterate the embarrassment of the memory as it catapulted back into my brain. I have been forced to wear a salmon pink frilled Little Bo Peep dress and had consequently scowled my way through the entire ceremony. Then at the reception, I snuck a bottle of champagne out from the cupboards and hid among the mops and buckets for the duration of the speeches. "I found you in the cleaning cupboard!" He said, grinning at me. "When the time came for the bride to toss the bouquet, no one knew where you were. I noticed you wander off though."
I felt the blush running all the way down my neck. "I... I don't remember, honestly. I was rather paraletic by then."
"I should know since I held your hair up for while you threw up." What the? It was him!? My mouth fell open. "That was you?!" I vaguely remembered someone sitting behind me inside the freezing cold toilet cubicle, murmuring softly and stroking my back. All the while I thought it was the other bridesmaids. I covered my face again with my hands and slump my back forwards in between my thighs. And then I realizes I should exhibit proper behaviour at the age of twenty-seven, I sat up straight and tidied my dress.
"Just so you know, I'm justified by my actions since I was so annoyed at having to look at it, let alone wear it. It was the dress' fault." I said, as though it could pass as an excuse for my actions back then. I saw him shaking his head. "Don't mention it. I thought you were adorable." I smiled when he said that. He was being very gentlemanly indeed. I was never called adorable when drunk before.
"I would probably do the same thing if someone had made me wear that thing. Do you remember the bride? She looked like..."
"...A marshmallow wearing a hat!" I interrupted.
"I was going to say Katie Price if you put her in a blender with a sack of glitter, but that works too." Then we burst out laughing. When the silence has died down, "I can't imagine what you're going through right now." He said as he looked at me with his deep brown eyes. The thing is, I'm not known for falling for a guy that easily but there was something about Scott that I don't understand. Maybe it's because we haven't seen each other for the longest time and his presence is still an air of mystery to me.
"I'll be fine, if that's what you're asking." I said, kicking the rock beneath my heels. "It's just that, I know we're over but I can't seem to understand the reason why he did this to me. I'm starting to feel like I've been drunk through our entire relationship."
"Maybe... maybe you didn't know the real him to begin with. Maybe you were giving too much of yourself to him and you were too busy to notice?" The truth is, all his 'maybes' were true. I just didn't have enough guts to admit that to myself. "Yeah well, because of that Paige wants me to completely change, starting with my hair." I tossed my new dark brown hair aside, which Paige has set in curls earlier. "I think you look good as a brunette though. It really brings out your eyes." He said while looking at me intently.
I broke away from his stare, "So, uh... what do you do now Scott? Last time I checked you're into Programming."
"Yeah I work for a Computer Programming company that specializes in games and application software. But I don't want to talk so much about that. Let's talk about you." Was it me, or did his eyes sparkled when he said you.
"Me? Trust me. The last person you would want to talk about is me. My life is ten times screwed over and I don't think my silver lining would be knocking in my doorstep anytime soon."
"Oh come on. Look at you. Apparently, a LOT of things has changed since we last met. And that was ages ago." What does he expect me to do? Let him on an inside news on how pathetic my life was? In case he hasn't noticed I just went through an awful breakup with who I could have had a future with. "Seriously Scott? Why are you asking me when I should be asking you! How's New York?" Since I opened it, I wanted to tell Scott how I've always wanted to fly there. No city in the world holds my dreams the way New York City does.
"It took a while before I got used to the hustle and bustle of the big city. I wasn't ready to my life there when we moved 10 years ago because I always felt like I've left my heart back home." Why am I sweating all of a sudden? The way he looked at me when he said that was intense like he was passing on a secret code or something. Funny 'cause whatever it is, I don't know how to decipher it, not that I plan to. "I wonder what it's like living there. Dad used to say I could fit right into New York's lifestyle. I mean, I've had this mental picture of myself standing in the streets of Manhattan, completely absorbing everything around me for years. The closest thing I have to New York is my poster and snow globe with the Statue of Liberty on it. I've always wanted to work for Chic Magazine but I can't believe I traded all of that and ended up with sports cars and adrenaline junkies. " I looked at Scott and realized I must have surprised him.
"I sound weird, do I?"
He let out a laugh, "No, not at all! I really think it's cute. If you wanted to work in Chic so bad, why won't you apply there?" Oh Scott. I can't just pack up my bags and leave for New York any minute. I've tried that a long time ago but I always end up right where I started.
"Do you have any idea how many times I found myself wondering if I have a shot of making it big there? But more often than not, I am always faced with self-doubt. Not a good thing for someone who spend all her life dreaming."
"I know I don't have any grounds to say this especially because it's been 10 years since we last met, but I think you're a really special girl Loise. This town is too small for a girl with big dreams." He Just then I heard the clattering of glasses inside followed by cheers and applause. To Lily and Troy! I guess it won't hurt if I try finding my own happily ever after.
"You think so?"
"Are you kidding me? You found your voice in Design Loise. You have to use it. Look, I know a few people around Manhattan who can help you. They may not be as sparkly as Chic Magazine but it's worth the shot." Pause. Rewind. Play. Did he just say what I think he said? He's giving me the chance of a lifetime! Oh my god. This cannot be real. Somebody pinch me. I felt my jaw drop in disbelief. I wanted to scream but no words were coming out.
"Are you serious Scott?? Please tell me this isn't a prank because I swear I'll rip your head off. I can even ask Paige to do it to spare me from the bloody mess."
"This is me helping you, Loise. Nate and I will head back after Lily's wedding so if you make up your mind, you can come with us." Somebody slap me in the face because I cannot believe this is happening. Maybe Scott isn't so bad after all. "I have made a few connections with some of the top magazines in Manhattan. If you have a really impressive portfolio, you can apply for internship and work your way up." He said. I could just give him a hug right now. "OH MY GOD Scott!!! I'll think about it. I mean, I have a ton of problems to worry about when I get there and apartment rent tops that list."
"Loise? Are you there? I need your help inside please." I heard Lily yell over at the front door.
"I guess that's my cue. I should get inside. Are you fine here?
"Yeah, sure. Nate and I will leave any minute.
"And uhm... Scott, thank you. You have no idea how you made me feel better tonight."
"I'm always here for you Loise, just like before. We'll talk again next time." I flashed a smile and I noted the way he winked at me. I felt a swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach unexpectedly. Maybe I have been too dismissive about computer nerds in general.