Alternative scene from Thor (2011) in which the God of Thunder was never banished from Asgard.
"What am I?" Loki's voice cracked. His eyes teary and his heart broken. He wished he could look strong. He tried his best to cover his emotions - covered it with hatred and anger. But still, it shown all over his face, how he truly felt. He wasn't mad at the king standing in front of him. No. Loki was simply... hurt. Feeling lost, betrayed, and lied to his entire life. All of these combined together hurt. A lot.
"You're my son" Odin's words strong and confident as always. Atlas, both of them knew so well it was a lie. A big, fat, ugly lie this old man blessed him with since he was a toddler. He would have continued to lie to him for as long as they drew breath, if it wasn't for Loki came across the shocking truth by himself.
"What more than that?" Loki looked Odin dead in the eyes. He needed to hear the answer, the truth, not another lie "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" The youngest child started approaching the old man slowly, holding eye contact the whole time. Though Odin was the one trying to avert his gaze.
A sigh left Odin's mouth, he knew he could no longer keep lying "No," He said "After the battle, I went into the temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die... Laufeyson"
There was a little moment of silence as Loki tried to process Odin's words. This time, he was the one looking away, eyes gluing to the ground. Odin said a lot, yet the only thing outstanding and kept repeating itself in Loki's head was the last word "Laufeyson..." Loki spoke, mostly to himself. Then he looked back up to meet Odin's eyes. The confusion and the pain in the young man's green orbs even more vivid. Laufeyson? But.... but how could it be? Unless he was the....
"Yes" Odin admitted.
Even though Loki was kind of expecting it, hearing his 'father' confirming it out loud felt as if there was a knife stabbed right through his heart. He looked away, unable to think straight. Thousands of emotions hit him like a ton of bricks "Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?"
"You were an innocent child" Odin said.
"No," Loki shook his head. He knew better than to believe another god damn lie. He wasn't that naive anymore "You took me for a purpose. What was it?" Loki's voice somehow stronger as his stare bored into Odin's soul.
The old man turned silent, not being able to confess his sin. The king of Asgard had never looked so vulnerable.
"TELL ME!!!!" Loki screamed out of the blue. The haunting demand echoed through the hall. However, again, how he truly felt betrayed what he wanted to show. His lips quivered and his eyes got even more watery. Poor Loki was simply... broken.
"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace.... through you" Odin said.
"What?..." Loki mouthed the word so quietly, with his heart broken into millions pieces, it almost didn't have any sound at all. A tear rolled down his cheek.
"But those plans no longer matter" Odin came up with an excuse, whatever to make himself look good.
"So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me" Loki didn't even wipe his tears away. He let them fall.
"Why do you twist my words?" Oh, Odin, what a shitty little rat you are...
"You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?"
"You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth" Lie. More lie. Gold star to this old man for Dad-of-the-Year award.
"What? Because I - I - I- I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night?"
"Don't-"
"You know, it all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years! Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!" With that, Loki stormed out the hall. He couldn't even look at his 'father' for a second longer.
"Loki!" He heard Odin called after, but he wouldn't turn back. Couldn't.
✖✖✖
He was an outsider. Had always been the outsider. Oh how positive Loki was that he was going to remember the pain he felt, when his body turned into the monster, for the rest of his life. He was fighting with them. Fighting those Frost Giants side by side his brother when one of them touched him, and that was when he transformed into such vile entity, a Jötunn with skin as blue as the ocean, eyes as red as crimson blood.
Since he could remember, growling up in Asgard as the youngest son of Odin, Frost Giants were their archenemies, monsters in those bedtime stories. All the Asgardians was taught to fear them, to hate them. Loki, himself, was trained the same belief as well, trained together with the other kids because he thought he was one of them. But now, he had just realized he was one of those monsters these whole time. How could Odin lied to him his whole life?! Was this his punishment? A sentence he had to serve for being a Frost Giant so Odin took him here as his personal prisoner?
Eight hours passed, Loki still remained in his room. Odin didn't even come knocking at the door. Only Frigga came every once in a few hours, but the damaged boy refused to see his mother. Thinking of her, the woman whom he called mother, the woman who took care of him since he was so little, the woman who raised him, felt like salt in the wound. She wasn't his mother.
Frigga wasn't his mother.
Odin wasn't his father.
Thor wasn't his brother.
Asgard wasn't his home.
What am I? The question ran through Loki's head for the millionth time and no matter how he felt as if his brain was going to explode from struggling so hard to get the answer out, there was no answer for his situation. No answer except for the one that screamed he was a Frost Giant, a monster who was locked up here as a prisoner. Nothing more.
A knock on the door interrupted him from his thoughts "Loki" a male voice made its way through the mahogany wood. It was Thor. Unlike Frigga, the God of Thunder wouldn't care if his brother wished to be left alone. And no matter if Loki made sure he locked it, with Thor's strength, the knob jiggled and before Loki could say 'please leave" Thor was already half way inside the room, making his way toward his little brother.
"Did you know?" Was the first thing Loki managed to ask. If Thor knew it all along, but pretended to look at him as if he was his brother who shared the same blood for Odin's sake.
"I knew it all along" Thor replied, looking Loki in the eyes as Loki shut his eyes and turned his head away. Loki wouldn't know, but it pained Thor, as much as it pained him, seeing him in pain.
"So I'm just a... a clown to you and your family?" Loki looked back at thor. His eyes bloodshot and the God of Thunder had never seen someone so lost.
"Loki" Thor sighed.
"Everything we've been through, every play yard we played, every battle we won together, it was... it was all an act? A god damn lie?! I mean nothing to you?!" Loki raised his voice.
"Loki, listen to me-"
"Oh, I remember it now. A shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness-" Loki didn't get to speak further when, suddenly, Thor charged at him and before he knew it, he found himself pinned to the wall with his brother's hand covering his mouth and stare burning through his skull "Stop your bullshit, Loki. Father was wrong to lie to you like that, but don't you dare assume it was on me and mother. You know we love you. This is our family, brother!" Thor could feel how hard Loki was trying to fight, to break free from his grip, but that simply wasn't going to happen until Loki listened to what he had to say. He wasn't going to let his brother think he and Frigga weren't his family for a second longer.
"You don't remember those times. You were too young, but I was there for you. I was... I was always there when you needed me" It was the first time Loki ever saw Thor suddenly looked vulnerable. His voice cracked, even though he tried to control his tone and that was when Loki stopped squirming. He calmed down and Thor removed his hands. "I was there for you, brother"
"What?...." Loki whispered to himself. He looked confused at first, but then, he started to recall it. Those times. When he was so little.
~~~
A two-century-old Loki (which in Midgard, he'd age exactly of a two-year-old baby) wrapped himself in layers of fluffy towels. Anything to help covering the difference within him, the difference that labeled him to be an outcast, in his head. He didn't belong to anyone. Why would he blue? Why would his eyes red? Was he a monster? A monster he, himself, was so terrified of. Frigga tried to come for his comfort, but the little one ran away until he found himself his so-called hiding spot, shivering in the corner of a throne room with only his face appearing out of the towels and tears streaming down his blue face. 'What's wrong with me?' was all that went through Loki's head. Of course, he was just a child. He wouldn't understand the definition of being adopted. Would never understand that Odin and Frigga weren't his real parents, at least, not biological.
With his little shoulders shaking each time he sobbed, Loki lifted his bright, big red eyes up when he heard small footsteps approaching him "Noooo..." He whined and scrambled deeper into the extremely tiny space between his body and the wall behind until there was none left, turning his back toward the door in the process so he was now facing the wall, and not being able to see whoever came in. In Loki's belief, if he couldn't see them, they couldn't see him either. What a silly little kid.
"Loki Loki" The footsteps stopped a couple feet away and Loki knew just by the voice that Thor was standing there "Loki?" A two-something-century Thor tried again when his little brother still hadn't turn around "Go 'way" Loki sniffed, still sobbing a little.
Five seconds later, Loki felt a light tap on his shoulder, leaving him no choice but to turn around. His red eyes got even bigger and he didn't even realize he stopped crying altogether when he saw his brother smiling down at him with the biggest and kindest smile ever. Though what made him hold his breath was the fact he was no longer the only one with blue skin. Thor was blue too!
"Loki, look. I'm blue too!" Thor happily said, spreading his arms in front of Loki with that big smile on his face as Loki was so mesmerized by how his brother was blue too, just like him.
"You're blue too. Blue blue!" Loki clapped and giggled before throwing himself in his big brother's arms, suddenly forgot he was crying literally less than a minute ago.
It wasn't the most perfect job, but it really was the best Thor could do at such young age. And even with color dropping from Thor's body to the floor, a lot of spots that he missed and a paint bucket placed across the room from them, Loki wouldn't know his brother painted himself blue for him. Of course he thought it was real. But it wouldn't matter for him anyway, real or fake, at the moment, Loki wasn't alone and that was all that mattered.
~~~
A tear rolled down Loki's face as he was overwhelmed with emotion. All these years, he thought they were just nonsense dreams of a child. They were, in fact, memories.
What's funny? That wasn't the only time Thor had done something like this for Loki, painting himself blue and had the place smeared with color. Just so he could see a smile on his little brother's face. Every time Loki broke down because his Jotun form shown, Thor would pull out a paint bucket and painted himself blue. All for Loki.
"You're not an outcast for me. You never was. You are my brother and always will be" Thor spoke loud and clear in Loki's face. And before Loki could say anything, he backed away and walked out the room, leaving the God of Mischief standing there, stunned by his new-found memories.
✖✖✖
A knock on the door broke Thor out of his thought "Come in" He responded without looking at the direction. His gaze glue to the sunset as he stood on the balcony. He heard footsteps coming and stopping on his right. He could see by the corner of his eyes that his brother was next to him, and he was not really surprised.
"I always thought they were just some dreams... not memories" Loki spoke after a moment of silence. Both him and Thor kept looking at the beautiful sunset in front of them.
"You're my brother, Loki. Don't ever doubt that" Thor said in calm voice, eyes still on the view.
"I know... I know" Loki replied, slightly nodding his head up and down. There was a small pause in their conversations before Loki continued "You're mine too" He added before eventually turning his head to the side. Thor did the same and as their eyes met, soft and sincere smiles appeared on their faces, and both of them never felt more at peace, smiling at each other.
"Oh and... one more thing, brother" Loki continued and Thor raised his brows as he waited to hear what his little brother had to say "You've done a terrible job painting yourself blue"
And both of them broke out small laugh before Thor wrapped his arms around Loki's shoulders. The next thing they knew, they were just standing there, watching the sunset together with smiles on their faces.
///
Author's note: I got the inspiration for this chapter from this super adorable fan art below. Credit to the talented and dedicated artist :)