"And he lieeeeeeeed this entire timeeeeeeeee," you whined for the millionth time, sounding like a dramatic teenager at her first break up.
Jinah sighed, stroking your hair gently as your head laid on her lap. She looked at Alexandra desperately, looking for help, but the curly-haired girl just shook her head. "Start by maybe taking the ice cream away," she advised with a chuckle, making you immediately hug the container to your chest. "NO."
"Okay, Okay. You keep the ice cream," Jinah chuckled, lifting her hands up in the air as if to prove her innocence. You huffed to yourself, before getting another delicious spoon of cookie dough ice-cream, a somewhat happy smile taking over your features for a brief second. Jinah sighed silently, making you gaze up at her out of curiosity.
She was looking at you again with the baffled expression she had had on her face ever since you had entered her apartment crying like a mess. "I still can't believe this," she chuckled silently, excitement growing in her again.
"All this time when you were dating airplaneguy, it was actually Min friggin' Yoongi? And you didn't tell me his complete name once? I would've known right away!" She lightly nudged you, making you glare at her. "You're not helping here."
Deciding that it would be for the best to leave your sulking form alone for a while, she turned her attention towards the other girl present in the room.
"And your secret guy you've been hiding this whole time from us is NAMJOON? Freaking RAP MONSTER? AKA BTS' way too hot leader ???? I mean like how the hell did you even meet? How do you do this? You both didn't even know them, yet now you're dating super famous and wayyyy too handsome idols! I'm so jealous!" She whined silently, acting just like the true fangirl that she was.
You hit your hand against the blonde's head, shutting her up, immediately earning a sorry expression from her. "First of all: I WAS- emphasizing the past tense! -dating an idol. 2. Don't be jealous, it freaking sucks. 3. Alexandra, I'm still angry at you for knowing about Yo-" you interrupted yourself, not able to say his name.
Yes, you had come to that dramatic point. You couldn't even say his name without choking on your breath. Yes. You're extra. But who cares.
"-for knowing about him and not telling me."
"I'm sorry sweetie, but he said he'd tell you and I didn't want to take that from him even though I really wanted to tell you right away." Alexandra looked really sorry so you just shook your head and waved her over to you to hug her. You were in desperate need of affection. She smiled happily, hugging you tightly. "How DID you meet Namjoon actually?"
"A club," Alexandra chuckled, shrugging her shoulders, making you and Jinah roll your eyes. "No wonder."
Silence took over the room again, making you fall back into your toxic thoughts about him.
"How could I not notice?" you whined again, thinking about how stupid you must've been these last months. You let your head fall back on Jinah's lap, your feet on the other end of the couch. "Honestly. I don't know. They're f*cking everywhere. You must seriously have some problems with your vision. Because even if you didn't leave your house you'd see them all over the internet and TV ads."
This time it was Alexandra who hit Jinah's head, making the girl rub her head in pain.
"You're useless Jinah," Alexandra commented with a smirk.
The three of you started to laugh at that, giggling just like high-schoolers. And you couldn't deny the fact that it helped. It helped a lot.
Being with your stupid but adorable friends made you forget your worries for a second. Even if you were just together doing nothing, you still appreciated their presence and comfort. After all, they were just like family to you, you could never imagine yourself living without them.
You all laid splayed out across Jinah's living room, contemplating the ceiling in silence. You were lost in thoughts, trying to figure out why he had even started to lie in the first place.
"Y/N I think you went too harsh on him."
Your head snapped towards Alexandra. "What?!"
"You heard me. I mean, wouldn't you have done the same in his position? It must be super hard to find a partner when you're famous."
When her words reached you, your thoughts wandered back to that one night where you had practically said these exact same words. She's right... You nibbled on your lower lip, guilt and hurt tugging at your heart at the same time.
"He met you in an airplane- You, an unbelievably cute, smart and innocent girl with no clue about BTS. In his position-" she stopped with a heavy sigh, sitting up to make you look at her, "I know, I would've done the same thing. I probably would've told you sooner but that's just because I'd have the balls to tell you-"
Jinah intervened with a soft chuckle, "That's irrelevant Alex but thanks." A poor smile tugged at your lips at Jinah's attempt to lift the mood, but it didn't quite reach your eyes. Alexandra only sighed with an eye-roll directed at the blonde before looking back at you seriously.
"My point is: He was scared to lose you-" Your eyes became glossy at Alexandra's soft voice. She seemed to be really disappointed about your break up, showing you once more how well Yoongi and you had been doing. Seeing your tearful expression, Jinah slowly scooted closer to you, pulling you into a back hug while she leaned her back against the couch.
"And I I-I haven't seen you this happy in a long time either. You two really care for each other and he-he's a great guy. Are you sure you want to throw all of that in the trash?"
"But Alexandra, even if I get back with him, how will I know if he's not lying again? I would become completely paranoid. I'd think he'd lie all the time. I would have such a hard time trusting him," you barely held back your tears, sniffling silently to keep your emotions at bay, "And what's the worth of a relationship void of trust?"
Jinah tightened her embrace around you when she heard your voice breaking for the tenth time that evening. Gently she began to stroke your hair again, attempting to calm you and your aching heart. Alexandra remained silent, not knowing how to argue back, holding your hand firmly instead to show her support. It hurt her deeply to see you like this, even more so because every idiot could see how much Yoongi and you cared for each other. She was seeing what she had wanted to avoid at any cost: Her best friend completely heartbroken over a man.
"And I can't get back with him. I-I just- I can't. Not after the way he lied to me," you muttered softly, your voice broken, tears silently running down your cheeks.
.
Sighing tiredly, you looked out of the window. Rain had been pouring down on the city for the last week, matching your melancholic mood. For what felt like the millionth time your phone buzzed making you groan in frustration and turn it off completely.
Yoongi had left endless messages, which you ignored completely trying to move on with your life.
Moving on, that had been your plan. Instead, you had spent the last weeks sulking alone at home, binge-watching Kdramas as soon as you got home from work, doing the bare necessities to survive and not lose your job. Your calico cat, Napoleon, yeah, stop judging, you had named your cat Napoleon, nicknaming him Napo, was your most cherished friend. He loved you unconditionally, well at least as long as you fed him every day... He spent most of his time peacefully sleeping on your lap, giving you at least a bit of comfort.
"Okay Napo," you whispered, stroking your hand gently over his head, trying to wake him up gently. "I have to go buy some stuff and I don't want to leave too late so I can come back before nightfall. So you have to stand up." You played with his ears making him shake his head in disapproval, hoping he'd understand you and move away. His sharp eyes glared at you, making you chuckle before he jumped off your legs. "I'll get more of your fishie treats to make it up to you," you snorted and stood up to leave your apartment.
On the bus ride, you pulled your headphones over your ears, moving your head lightly to the music, ignoring the sounds around you. Your gaze wandered over the streets passing by in a blur and you rolled your eyes over the billboards.
They were everywhere, freaking everywhere.
You just couldn't believe how you hadn't noticed before. Every time your eyes focused on an add or TV screen you could only see BTS, your ex-boyfriend smiling at the crowd with his beloved gummy smile.
The feeling of betrayal and sadness hadn't disappeared, it had just transformed into numbness and irritation. You were angry at yourself for not noticing before, for falling so hard and so carelessly. Tears brimmed your eyes as you turned your gaze away from the window. Gosh dang it, stop letting it get to you. You gulped and changed the sad song that had started to play to something more joyful, hoping to get rid of your overbearing melancholic thoughts.
The bus was starting to become crowded, people were trying to avoid the pouring rain to the best of their abilities. You looked at the crowd entering and frowned lightly. Your bus was normally nearly empty since it didn't stop at any major stops, it only taking people from pretty random parts of the city. Scanning the bus since you didn't have anything interesting to do, your eyes stayed put on a hooded figure. It was a guy with a black backpack and sweatshirt, earphones in his ears, face hidden by a black mask, electric blue strands of hair escaping from under the hood. Your eyes settling on the familiar hair color, a lump formed in your throat, making your heart tremble in panic.
Stop.
Stop right there. No panicking. This color is super popular right now. It's not him.
You tried to look somewhere else but somehow your eyes just couldn't stop looking at him, analyzing his posture, size, movements. You probably looked absolutely nuts, but the feeling in your guts didn't allow you to look elsewhere.
When you were finally able to turn your gaze away, he looked up, his eyes locking with yours, making your heart skip a beat and your breath hitch audibly in your throat.
You'd recognize those eyes between millions in a heartbeat.
F*ck.
His eyes stayed put on your figure as he tried to move through the people towards you, making you more and more nervous by the second. Your heart started pounding in your chest, fueled by your fear of having to see him. You panicked and jumped up from your seat, pushing yourself towards another exit of the bus as quickly as you could. Yoongi seemed to have noticed your hurried movement since he doubled in speed to get to you before you could leave.
"Y/N! Wait!"
This just made you move faster, trying to avoid any type of confrontation. You had just started to feel a little bit better and now he was back again.
F*ck you Min Yoongi. It's only been three weeks and I already bump into you?!
You made it to the doors and hurriedly jumped out, your feet landing in a puddle but you couldn't care less at that moment. The doors closed right behind you, revealing a frustrated Yoongi behind them, looking at you with begging eyes.
One last time, you looked at him before you turned on your heels and rushed away, your heart breaking once again in your chest.
Why did you have to take this bus? You just make it harder for me to get over you...
You tried to get rid of the tight knot that had formed in your stomach but somehow the feeling just wouldn't subside. You missed him and you knew it, you knew just too well how much you missed his tender touch, his eyes, the way he smelled, his warmth, his voice. The voice that made you see colors, that made your heart tremble, that had your soul enchained, trapped, completely under his spell. You held back the sobs that were threatening to burst out of you and made your way to the nearest convenience store to get the most necessary items. You'd get the other items on another day, right now you just wanted to go home and crawl under your blanket. Anything else could wait.
.
As soon as you closed the door behind you, you sank to the floor, your back against the hard wooden door, your knees against your chest supporting your head. You chucked off your drenched shoes, sending them to the other end of the room. You hadn't noticed when the tears had started to run down your cheeks, but once they had started they didn't stop. Your heart was aching in your chest, like a wound whose stitches had broken apart again. You tried to hold back the sobs but you couldn't, you had to let it out, seeing him today had just been too much. Napo stalked around your legs, trying to get your attention before sitting down on top of your knees, his cute cat nose inches from your own. His not so smooth tongue started to wipe over your cheeks, smearing the tears away and making you chuckle. This cat really was something else. "Thank you, Napo" you whispered in between your sobbing chuckles, hugging the cat tightly against your chest, probably squeezing him a bit too hard, but he seemed to let it happen so he could comfort you.
That night you tried to fall asleep, Napo curled up in a ball next to you on your bed, the moon shining down into your room. You had taken this habit of sleeping with the window opened, it calmed you to be able to see the night sky.
Gently you stroke Napo's soft fur, earning a purr from him. I can't keep going like this. This is not a life. I have worked for so much more. I can't let one heartbreak destroy all of my efforts. You wiped away the remnants of your tears, breathing in deeply. From tomorrow on I'll do things differently.
.
And you did. You cared more about yourself, got back into sports and spent more than a second in the morning to choose what you were going to wear. You tried to cook more, getting rid of that nasty instant ramen habit. Things were starting to look up again, you met Alexandra and Jinah more often and worked harder, slowly working your way up the ladder.
You chose to just ignore the billboards and ads around you, which was hard since they were really all over the place. If it wasn't your mobile phone contract, it was your skincare or even the random coke bottle you bought. You just ignored it to the best of your abilities and lived on with your life, slowly but surely pushing Yoon- him out of your thoughts.
The only thing that remained in your life, connecting you to him was Namjoon. Namjoon, Alexandra's boyfriend, who you had actually become quite close to. He was an amazing friend, probably the best listener you had ever met. Although he had tried to make you meet Yoongi again at first, he had given up pretty quickly, noticing how you blocked every attempt. He was visibly frustrated by your childish attitude towards that subject but had learned to just not talk about it.
Months had passed like that and you seemed to really get back into life.
.
"Okay, so promise you won't freak out."
"Why would I freak out?"
"Okay, well I have a new job for you. One that will finally allow you to do more filming and vlogging and traveling like you always wanted. Not to mention the raise," she winked at you, hinting at the extra money you would earn.
You looked at your boss, your interest peaked, but you still had your guards up. Where's the catch?
"I'll introduce you to the people you'll be working with and we'll then settle all the details."
You nodded, but you still squinted your eyes, not sure if you could trust your boss even though she had always been like a close friend more than a superior.
Slowly, you followed her down the corridor to where the meeting rooms were located. You unwrinkled your dress-shirt nervously, even though no wrinkle was visible, trying to calm down your nerves. You breathed in and out and mumbled to yourself to just be cool and shut down those unnecessary anxious feelings. "Why do I not have a good feeling about this?" you mumbled lightly to yourself as you halted in front of the door to meeting room C2.
"Mrs. Lee, these are your future clients." Your boss stepped aside, letting you enter the room and take in who exactly you were going to work for. Your jaw dropped at the sight.
"Hell to the no," was the first thing that left your mouth before you turned on your heels to leave the room.
"No no no. Not so fast." Jisoo held you back, grabbing your shoulders and turning you around again.
Of course, your eyes set on the only person you really didn't want to see. Gaze locking with his, you stood frozen in place, still, like a statue, heart beating 100 miles per second.
He hadn't changed one bit. After six months, he still looked the same. He still looked the exact same. Even the hair color hadn't changed. His gaze was neutral, his dark brown eyes not hinting at what was going on in his mind. He was acting like a fully professional K-Pop Idol, doing everything as expected. You on the other side were struggling to keep your facade, emotions were still bubbling inside of you only waiting to surface and plunge you into chaos.
Why the hell? Why do you keep showing up in my life?
"Hello, Ms. Lee. I'm Bangtan's manager, I believe we already met at an interview." The man bowed slightly and then brought out his hand to shake yours. You bowed in return shaking his hand before backing off, taking one step after another backward, your expression pained. "It's nice to see you again, b-but I really can't do this job. W-Whatever it is, you'll have to find someone else-" you internally cursed at yourself for stuttering. You nearly bumped into the door behind you and turned around in a hurry, leaving the room hastily under your boss' confused look. "Excuse me please." You hastily made your way to the elevator, clicking on the button like a maniac, praying the elevator would come faster to take you down to the lobby. Finally, it opened and you rushed inside instantly pushing the 'close doors' button, your heart still hammering madly in your chest.
You didn't know why, but somehow you were scared to death he'd follow you.
Finally, the doors closed and you breathed out relieved.
But you were too early.
A hand had stopped the doors from closing entirely, pushing them open again. He entered the elevator closing the doors behind him, making you two stand alone in the rather tight space, locked away from the outside world.
His eyes bored into yours, making you back away until your back hit the wall behind you. Gosh, how much I've missed him... Stop it. His inquisitive, searching gaze didn't leave yours, making you freeze like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn't say a word, not a mumble escaping his beautiful lips, yet his eyes seemed to tell you more than words ever could.
Why do you still have this effect on me?
He stepped closer to you with fast steps, decreasing the little distance that had been between you in the matter of a heartbeat. Lifting his hand up to caress your cheek, his soft fingers gently touched your skin, tearing down the last walls of protection you had built around yourself.
And before you could react in any way, actions happening in split seconds, his lips were on yours, kissing you passionately.
You were lost the second that you found yourself in this long lost embrace, lips moving on their own. Six months of distance somehow seemed to just intensify the kiss. Fireworks started to go off in your stomach as you felt his tongue graze your lip, deepening the needy kiss. "Y/N-" he whispered, before kissing you passionately again, not leaving you any time to react. Your lips feverishly responded to the kiss even though your mind was screaming at you to push him away. "I missed you-", he groaned silently, pulling you closer by the small of your back. "I missed you so much." His voice was soft, gentle, music to your ears. If you knew how much I missed you...
"Please, I beg you. Come back to me-" he whispered between your kisses, his right hand holding your head at your nape while the other pulled you firmly against him, your hips meeting his needily. Your hands traveled up to his shoulders until your arms rested on his neck.
Unconsciously you had pulled him closer too, reveling in this sweet poison that was his warmth and proximity. You felt like you were floating, everything felt so right. Being there in his embrace, being kissed by him, listening to his sweet sweet voice was all your heart wanted. You had missed this feeling so much, this feeling of his lips gently devouring yours. You fit together perfectly as if you had been made for each other. It felt so right...
Your heart fluttered wildly in your chest, but your brain won the battle. Contradicting everything your body was craving so badly, you pushed him off of you roughly, clutching your hand to your mouth.
"You can't just come back into my life and kiss me like that!" you exclaimed raising your hands up in the air in confusion and anger. You had finally come to your senses, your brain throwing a whirlwind of insults at you.
"Why not?" He smirked at you, obviously amused by your anger. "Arghhhhh, you just- You can't!" you scoffed, too lost in your anger to find a good argument.
He probably knew very well that the kiss had turned everything upside down, making you question all of your decisions. The worst part was that he seemed to enjoy the show you were giving him. The elevator doors opened finally and you pushed your way past him to get into the lobby. You speed walked, your heart hammering in your chest, heat still cursing through your core, making you curse internally at your hormones.
Of course, he followed you. "You really don't f*cking get it, don't you?!" you spoke up, not even bothering to turn around to look at him. "When I told you, that I don't want to see you again. I meant it."
You were now outside of the building, making your way to the closest taxi with wide strides, still fuming on the inside. You were angry at him, but before all, you were angry at yourself. You were angry at yourself for letting him get to you that much.
"But you kissed me back," he argued calmly with a cocky undertone, jogging next to you, making you freeze in your steps. It was true, you had kissed him back. "Of course, " you huffed, your voice dripping sarcasm as you rolled your eyes. He stopped with a chuckle, looking at you with a roll of his beautiful brown eyes. "You can deny it all you want, but you know it's true."
Your heart didn't seem to slow down any time soon, his words getting to you more than you wanted to admit to yourself.
Stepping towards the taxi, you opened the car door with a sigh and got inside the vehicle without another word. Yoongi just stayed outside, looking at the car with a frustrated expression.
"Miss Lee?"
You looked at the driver in surprise.
It was Mr. Kim.
"Is this the young man you told me about?" he asked turning around in his seat to look at you with wide eyes. "Yes. That's the asshole," you huffed.
"Then what are you waiting for?! Get out of my Taxi! Talk with him, hear him out, god damn it."
"Mr. Kim-"
"He's even handsome."
You rolled your eyes at that comment, but secretly you couldn't help but peek outside the window to where Yoongi was still standing, his hair ruffled by the wind, his face serious, lips pursed, eyes squinted, he looked strikingly handsome.
Oh yes indeed, he is.
Your heart sped up again making you wonder how much longer you could endure your situation before you'd have a heart attack.
"Go, you fool. At least talk to him again. I am not asking you to take him back immediately."
You sighed dramatically before opening the door of the taxi again.
"You're going to be the death of me Mr. Kim." The old man just chuckled and drove off quickly once the door was closed, leaving you without a way to escape.