"You can do it," Tera says, pushing me after Eric.
"Here I go," I say with a smile. I turn and jog out of the dining hall, trying to catch up with Eric.
Eric glances over his shoulder and stops once he sees that it is me. I smile at him, but he doesn't return the favor.
"Eric," I say, slightly out of breath, "I have something important I need to tell you."
He crosses his arms across his chest, a bored expression on his face. "Out with it, sunshine."
I raise a brow at the new nickname, but don't question it. "Not here. Let's go somewhere private."
He sighs and continues walking. I follow after him, a knot of nerves growing in my stomach. His demeanor is cold, and I am not sure why.
Instead of going to the roof like I was expecting us to, Eric leads me to his apartment. I follow after him, taking a mental note of how he did not hold the door open for me like he usually does.
He flops on the couch and rests both arms along the back of it. "Okay, we're in private. Now spill."
I take a seat on the edge of the couch and wipe my palms on my jeans before resting them on my lap.
"I'm going to come out and say it." I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "I'm in--"
"Can we hurry this along?" he says mid-yawn. "I have important company coming by soon."
"Yes, of course." I wipe my palms on my jeans again and close my eyes. "I'm in love with you, Eric."
My eyes open and search Eric's face, hoping to find at least a hint of emotion on his face.
"Eric..." I trail off, not knowing what else to say. I avert my gaze and stare at my hands.
"I know what you want me to say," he snaps, his voice low. "But I'm not going to say it, because it would be a lie."
"On the roof--" my voice trembles but I continue anyway-- "you told me you can't get me out of your head."
He does not reply or acknowledge my statement so I continue. "After capture the flag, you told me that you have feelings for me. Then we kissed. Did it not mean anything to you?"
"No."
"You're lying," I snap.
"That kiss did not mean anything to me--" he leans in close, his mouth just mere centimeters from my ear-- "and neither do you."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Yeah, we shared a kiss," he says. "But that doesn't mean anything. I kiss plenty of women every day. You're nothing special."
A knock on the door snaps Eric's attention from me.
"Finally," he smirks.
He yanks me up by the arm and pulls me to the door. The door opens to reveal a brunette woman wearing revealing clothing.
"Who's this, babe?" she says, her voice high pitched.
"A pathetic initiate who thinks there is something between us," he snaps. He pushes me out the door, making me trip and hit my face on the floor. "Now, leave me alone. I've never liked you, and I never will."
The sound of their laughter echoes in my ears before his door slams shut. I flinch and push myself off the floor.
I wrap my arms around myself and sigh. "I should have known."
***
I sit up from from the chair slowly, blinking my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. I wipe my eyes with my palms, but the tears continue to pour.
"Rori," Eric says, his voice soft.
My head snaps in his direction. A pained expression adorns his face, making me want to pull him to me and hug him.
More tears well up in my eyes as the events of my sim flash around in my head. Not emotionally ready to face Eric or endure his questions, I bolt out of the simulation room. He calls my name but I continue running, not stopping until I am inside in the dormitory.
I unlace my boots and crawl into bed, pulling the covers over my head. I do not feel like talking to anyone, nor do I feel like being spoken to. After what seems like forever, my eyes get droopy and I drift off to sleep.
***
The sound of laughter wakes me from my sleep. Footsteps seem to halt at the foot of my bed, and so does the laughter.
"Shh, Rori is asleep," Tera says.
"She missed lunch," a male says. "I'll go get her a to go tray."
The sound of footsteps leaving the room relaxes me a bit. I peek out from under the covers, making sure Tera is the only one in here. She is sitting on the edge of her bed, unlacing her boots.
I sit up slowly and say her name.
Her head snaps up and her eyes widen. "What happened?" She stands up and sits on the end of my bed, a look of complete and utter concern on her face. "Was it your fear landscape?"
I nod.
"May I ask what happened?"
I replay the events of my fear landscape, not leaving out a detail. She listens attentively, not speaking up until I finish.
"It sounds like you're afraid of Eric rejecting you."
"Eric has already told me he likes me," I say, squeezing my pillow to my chest, "so I'm not entirely sure why I'd be afraid of him rejecting me."
"Maybe, deep down, you're afraid that his feelings aren't genuine," she says. "Yeah, he told you he does, but what if he's faking?"
"Maybe you're right."
"That's just my interpretation." She pats my hand. "It's your fear, not mine. You've gotta figure out what it means and work on it."
"Thanks for talking with me." I wrap my arms around her. She seems a little shocked at first, because she is usually the one initiating the hugs, but recovers and hugs me back. "I really needed to get that off my chest."
"Anytime," she says with a smile. "Oh, and you probably need to talk to Eric. He's probably beating himself up over what happened."
"I know." I frown and lower my eyes to my lap. "I'll try and talk to him after dinner."
"You can do it," she says.
The sound of footsteps entering the room interrupts our conversation. I lift my eyes from my lap and they land on Finn, who is currently holding a to go lunch tray.
"Hey, freckle-face," Finn says, a bright and contagious smile on his face. "You missed lunch so I thought I'd go get you a tray."
"Thanks, Finn." I smile at him as he hands me the tray and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "I don't know if I've told you guys this, but I'm really glad I chose Dauntless."
"And why's that?" Finn questions, raising his brow.
"I have the best friends in the entire world." I set my tray down and pull them in for a hug, a small smile on my face.
"Yeah, we are pretty great," Finn says with a smirk.
"Don't forget humble," Tera chuckles.
***
The four of us enter the dining hall. Oliver and I walk not too far behind Finn and Tera, who are currently conversing about jobs they would like to have after initiation is over. I keep my eyes trained on the floor, knowing that they will find a certain pair of ice blue ones if I look up.
I sit in my usual spot, and Oliver sits beside me. Finn and Tera sit opposite of us, still talking about future jobs.
"If I don't get to be a tattoo artist," Finn says, "I would like to patrol the fence."
"You'll have to show me your talent," Tera says. "If you're any good, I want you to be the one to do my tattoo."
"What about you, Rori?" Tera says, scooping some cheesy noodles on her plate. "What do you want to do after initiation?"
I stare at my plate of noodles, thinking over my answer. "Hmm, I haven't really given it much thought. I've been too preoccupied, I guess."
"What do you think you'd enjoy doing?"
"Maybe I could be a training instructor," I say with a shrug, "like Four."
"What if they recruit you for leadership?"
"They won't," I say. "I'm ranked third. If anything, they'd pick either Raiden or Jax. Besides, they already have five leaders."
"Magnus, the oldest leader, is stepping down from leadership," Finn says. "At least that's what I was told."
"Even if that were true," I say, stabbing some noodles with my fork, "they won't pick me. I'm ranked third."
Immediately after saying that, a conversation I had with Eric on the roof pops in my head. It was after my fight with Reid, and he told me I should watch my back.
"Initiates ranking in the top three have the chance to be offered a leadership position, and some people would kill for power," he had said.
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of that thought. Despite my ranking, I do not think they would pick me. I am not even sure I would be a good leader.
Eric's face does not want to leave my head, no matter how hard I try to think of something else. I sneak a look at him, and our eyes meet instantly. It was as if he just knew I was going to look, or he had already been looking.
His eyes flick to the entrance of the dining hall, and I slowly nod.
"Guys, I'm going to go." I stand up, gathering my plate and trash as I do so. "I'll see you later."
Tera raises a brow at me and I nod my head at the leaders' table where Eric is still sitting. She nods and smiles. "See you."
I put my plate up and throw away my trash before making my way to the exit. I stand in the hallway outside of the dining hall, waiting for Eric. He must have waited until I left the room before dumping his plate, to not raise any suspicion.
I hear the sound of footsteps advancing, and I close my eyes as I take deep breaths.
I am not ready for this conversation, I think, but I have no choice. Eric deserves an explanation.
A hand rests on each of my shoulders, making my eyes snap open. My eyes meet Eric's, and I almost lose breath at the intensity of his gaze.
"Hey," he says, his voice as cool as a cucumber.
"Hey," I say, barely managing to keep my voice steady.
"My apartment?" he asks, releasing my shoulders.
Not trusting my voice to come out normal, I nod. He rests his hand on my lower back and leads me to his apartment. The warmth of his hand seeps through my shirt, giving me chill bumps.
After a thousand and one stairs, we finally make it to the leaders' floor. He digs in his pockets for his keys before unlocking the door and walking us inside.
"Please, have a seat," Eric says, as he wanders into the kitchen.
I sit on his black leather couch and look around. The room looks exactly how it did the last time I was here, except for the few sheets of paper on the coffee table in front of me.
Eric enters the living room carrying two glasses of water. He hands me a cup before sitting down. He takes a drink before placing the drink on the table and shifting to face me.
"I know you may not want to talk about this right now," he says, "but we need to."
"You're right." I nod and set my cup next to his on the table.
"Why'd you run out after your fear landscape?" he asks, genuine concern written on his face. "I would've tried to help you through it."
"I was embarrassed of having you be in my landscape," I say, ducking my head. "And I was upset. I didn't feel emotionally ready to talk about it."
He takes my hand in his, catching me by surprise. "Do you feel ready now?"
My eyes travel over his face, taking note of the tenderness in his eyes. I nod, and manage a smile.
"In your landscape, I told you that you didn't mean anything to me," he says, giving my hand a light squeeze. "Rori, that's not true. We haven't known each other too long, but you mean a lot to me."
"You mean a lot to me, too."
He smiles before continuing. "So, have you thought about what exactly your fear is?"
"Tera thinks it's rejection," I say, "and I think so as well. You rejected me in the landscape, despite already telling me you liked me."
"Yeah, I think it's rejection, too." He shifts on the couch and moves closer to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him, and I rest my head on his chest. "I want you to get rid of that fear, so I'm going to try my hardest to show you that you mean the world to me."
"It's just a silly fear," I say. "I know how you feel about me."
"Let me cook you dinner tomorrow night," he says, turning his head to look at me.
"Like a date?" I chuckle.
"Exactly."
He leans in, brushing his lips to mine before pressing his lips to mine. His hand cups my chin and my hand finds its way to the back of his neck. We stay like this for a few more seconds before he pulls away, a small smile on his face.
"Meet me here at six," he says, "for our first date."
A/N: Hey, initiates! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, please vote and comment!
Also, what should Rori and Eric's ship name be? Roric? Ericori? Comment what you guys think :))