This is a long one so..
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A Loner and a Lost Cause.
"Yes, Daddy!" Some girl I don't even know moaned out as I plowed in and out of her. Literally no one was home right now. Roy was out, my parents said they had a surprise for me and they would be back at some point, and I got really damn bored. So I texted this girl(whose number isn't even saved in my phone) and told her to come over. She may just be one I have to keep around because we got straight to it as soon as I opened the door. None of that other extra shit. She isn't the best I've had, but she's pretty so I'll allow it.
I grip her waist tighter as my pace quickens and my strokes get deeper. She couldn't take it all, so she tried to run but I held on tightly to her and never let up.
"Slow down!" She moans out, but I only roll my eyes and push her face down into my pillow. Maybe I won't keep her around. If there's one thing I hate more than mediocre pussy, it's girls who are way too loud during sex. Of course I want to hear the moans because that lets me know that I'm doing my job right, but some girls are just way too loud. Her screaming was beginning to annoy me, so I pulled out and laid back on my bed. I removed the condom and looked at her. She stared back at me as I gestured towards my "friend". She shakes her head.
"I've never done that before. I told you that I don't suck dick. "She scoffs. I chuckle.
"Well there's a first time for everything and I guess you can start learning. "
Literally two minutes into it, my mother bursts into my room. The girl screams and quickly hides herself under the covers. I only rolled my eyes.
"Impeccable timing, ma. "I groan. She shoots me a look and focuses on the girl, whose name still has yet to come to me.
"You need to leave, and Rylan you need to get showered and come down stairs to the dining room. Your father and I have to talk to you." My Mom said as calmly as possible, but I knew she mad. She's livid. The girl quickly got dressed and left, and so did my mom. I sigh heavily as I get up and make my way towards the bathroom to freshen up. I turn on the shower and let it get to the perfect temperature before getting in. I lather up my rag with my favorite Axe body wash.
I couldn't help but to think while I was in the shower. The shower is the most perfect place to do some thinking. What I was thinking about is the so called surprise my mom and dad had for me. I want to believe that it's straight bullshit because the only surprise I want from them is my fucking privacy. I'm confused as to how my mom got in my room. The door was locked like it always is. If she got a key made, I would love to know when she did that. My keys stay on me.
Once I finished up in the shower, I got dressed and made myself presentable. I go downstairs and into the dining room where my parents were. They didn't tell me they had guests. One of them was an uninvited guest at that.
"What is she doing here?" I ask, staring Bryson down with the rudest look I could muster. She gives a small smile as her parents greet me. I'm surprised her mom said anything to me. Angela hates me.
"We all need to sit down and talk about everything that's happened. I mean everything, including the day you two left. "Mom says as she gestures for me to sit down. I shake my head no.
"I'm tired of talking about this whole situation. It's really pointless because I'm over it. "I voice as I grab my keys that were somehow hanging by the door where everyone, except for me, kept their keys.
"Son I know that you're hurting, but this is something that needs to be—"I but my dad off.
"Why are my keys down here?" I ask bluntly. My mom and dad glance at each other. I shook my head and chuckled.
"That's how you got in my room? That's what we doing 'round here now? What is this really about?" I question as I walk over to the table and take a seat. No one said anything.
"C'mon. Talk to me. That's what you wanted about a minute ago. What changed that fast?" I seethe. I was so upset and all I wanted to do was leave and not come back.
"So disrespectful, you have no respect at all. "Angela says to me. I wanted to flip her off so bad, but I wouldn't do that to an adult. So my words would just have to do.
"I'm disrespectful? Your damn daughter is the one who's so bold and disrespectful. Did you know that she's dating my half brother? The same exact person that I couldn't stand, and who has hated me ever since he's known me. Did you know about that? Has she even spoken to you, Angela? Probably not, y'all don't even get along."
My mom hits my forearm to let me know that I've gone too far, but I don't give a damn. Everybody at this table about to know how I feel about them. They all about to get what's been coming.
"Rylan, we just wanted to know what happened. Your parents told us about how you've been acting lately, and we're concerned. "Bryson's Dad spoke. I let out the ugliest laugh.
"I'll believe you're concerned about me before I believe Bryson and Angela give a damn."
"Language. "My mom scolds. I disregard her words and continue to speak.
"No, fuck that! Why are y'all even still communicating with them? I told you that Bryson and I were no more. I'm done with her, this conversation, and everybody at this table. "I yell. I get up and get ready to leave once more, but I heard Bryson say something.
"There he goes making everything about him again. This is why we can't get anywhere. "Bryson mumbles. I turn around my eyes pierce hers.
"You know what? You're so fucking stupid and shallow! This whole conversation has to do with me and it gets turned on me. Just me!" I shout. Everyone stares at me and remains silent.
"We just wanna know how you're doing, we're concerned, what's going on with you?" I mocked them. "It doesn't seem like any of you give a damn! I just want everyone to leave me the hell alone. "
"You need to watch your mouth and what you say about my daughter. " Angela warns. I ignore her and begin to pace the floor.
"Rylan you need to sit down, and calm down. I get that you're upset and all, but—"My dad speaks, but I cut him off once again.
"But what? You'd understand but what?"I say. He remains quiet and I laugh.
"Fuck all of you. None of you understand how fucked up I feel inside right now. "I utter as my throat feels as if it's about to close. My emotions were running all over the place and I feel as though I could cry at any moment.
"That's it! Rylan Atticus King, I will not sit here and let you disrespect Bryson's parents, and I damn sure won't let you disrespect me and your father! You need to listen to your father and calm down!" My mom yells at me.
"Y'all ain't even my real parents. I'm here with y'all because my real mom ain't give a damn about me to even give me to my dad, who wanted me! Like Carmelo said, y'all were just nice enough to care. "I cry. I place my head in my hands because I didn't want them to see me cry. I'm pretty sure they knew I was crying though. A blind person could see it. My mom places a hand on my shoulder, but I move away from it.
"Please don't touch me. I really want to be alone right now. "I choke out.
"Rylan I'm really sorry about all of this. I know it's messed up and it hurts, but I'm really sorry. "Bryson apologizes. I sniffle and grab a paper napkin off the table.
"Not being rude or anything, but I really don't care about you apologizing anymore. I'm over it and I'm just about over that whole entire night. Everyone just keeps throwing it up in my face. I only need to know things from you then we call all walk away and move on from this. "
"Okay.."
"Did you kiss him back, and did you like it?" I ask. I stare directly into her eyes wanting to be relieved by the look in her eyes but I wasn't. Instead, I got kicked in the face with a bunch regret and remorse.
"Yes. "She almost whispers. All the love I had left for her in my heart vanished. I guess it finally realized that the love her heart had for me had disappeared too, and she was now loving someone else. Her mom and dad looked at her in disbelief.
"I don't raise you this way. What on earth possessed you to do that to him? I thought you loved him and that he was the only one for you?" Angela ranted. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me. Angela stood up for me?
"Exactly. Bryson what were you thinking?" Her father chimes in. She remains silent and looks down at her lap.
"All this time I was grilling Rylan and I should have been doing that to you. You had me thinking that this boy was gone break your heart someday, and it was you all along. That's not how you treat someone you care about. "Angela was over here preaching today. I almost said amen.
"You two need to talk it out by yourselves. How about y'all go outside on the porch?" My Dad suggested. I shook my head no. I can't be alone with her anymore. I'll completely lose it and go berserk.
"I really want to be left alone. I want to go to my room. "
"You don't need to go up there right now. Go outside and get some fresh air, okay sweetheart?" My mom said as she rubbed my shoulder. I declined.
"No! I need to go to my room, now!" I unexpectedly yell. My mom shakes her head no. She leans down and whispers in my ear.
"I know why you want to go your room. Your father and I will talk about that with you later. "She whispers. My heart begins to pound in my chest. What if she knows about the shit in my closet? What if they flushed it? The fuck am I supposed to do then?
"How about we talk about that now? I don't want to talk with her. I don't need to be here, I need to go upstairs because I'm about to fucking lose it. "I whisper back. A look of disappointment flashes over her face.
I know that it's probably hard to find out about your child using drugs. It probably hurts even more because now she knows that it may just be a habit. That's not easy to take in. Mom probably would have never thought that her pookie does drugs. Well he does and it's what keeps him going. I sigh and begin to walk outside and onto the porch. I sneakily grab my car keys just to check my car for some more of my "friend". Bryson follows and I feel as if I'm about to go on a rampage. As I said, my feelings are all over the place, and I'm super unstable because I can't get a fix. I sit in the swing on porch and she tries to sit beside me. I sit in the middle of the swing and nod towards the rocking chair right beside it.
It was a brief uncomfortable and awkward silence before either one of us said anything.
"I don't know where to start.." she trailed off.
"Me either. What are we even supposed to say? We haven't been able to say more three words to each other with out wanting to kill one another. "
"What do you say to someone after you've broke their heart?" Bryson sighs heavily. I shrug and look out at the cars passing by.
"It sucks that this is how we communicate now. Like, it's hard to talk and like there's nothing to say. It has never been like this between us." I speak as I glance over at her. She agrees and stares back at me with those big, bright,l eyes that I fell in love with. I quickly look away and find something else to look at.
"I mean, we needed to take time to seriously talk anyway. "She says. "I'm worried about you Rylan. You're all over the place and I'm scared that you're going to lose yourself. "
I focus on her again. "You're worried about me?"
"Please don't say the wrong thing. I'm not trying to argue with you. Yes, I'm worried about you. Just because we're not together doesn't mean that I don't care. We were friends before any of this, and we'll continue to be afterwards. Don't you think?"
"Yeah I'll always care about you, Bry. You were literally my first love. The only girl I've ever bothered to give a damn about. You're always on my mind and I can't shake that. "I admit. I hear her sniffle and I look over to see her crying. Seeing her cry always made me feel like I could cry.
"Please don't cry. You know how I feel when you cry. "I move over in the swing and pat the spot beside me. She sits beside me and I throw my arm around her.
"It's just a relief to hear you say that. I thought you hated me."
"I don't hate you. I said that I don't care about what happened anymore. Let's just leave it in the past because I have. Who knows? Maybe one day we'll make our way back to each other. "I say as I rub her shoulder. She lays her head on my shoulder and I tense up a bit. This felt right but we couldn't go back to each other if we wanted to. If this talk would have happened a month ago then maybe. It got quiet again for a few minutes before Bryson said something. I guess we were both enjoying this.
"What's been going on with you lately? And please don't blow up like you did last time I asked you this. We're finally at peace with one another. "Bryson asked. I contemplate with myself on whether or not I should answer that. I mean, I could tell her only a fraction of what it really is, which will lead to her wanting to know more. That would only make things worse though. I get up and walk over to my car to search it for more powder. I ear Bryson sigh behind me.
"Don't do this again. We're starting to get somewhere. "Bryson whines. I open the drivers side door and search the compartment in between the seats. Nothing.
"I'm not ignoring you or anything like that. I'm looking for something. "I assure. She walks over to the passenger side and sits down. I search the glove compartment and come up with nothing.
"What are you looking for?" She asks. I search the backseat and I see nothing.
"Fuck!"I curse out loud. Bryson looks at me confused. Her hand lands on my bicep(immediately calming me down) as I feel myself on the verge of going crazy.
My mind was moving a million miles a minute. I honestly believed that they flushed my shit and threw it out. Most likely, I won't even be allowed to go anywhere without my parents, so I won't be able to get anymore. I need to get a fucking fix before seriously hurt someone.
"What's wrong? Do you need help finding something?" Bryson asks. A fucking light bulb went off in my head.
"Nothing," I smile. "I'm fine. I'm so sorry that I led you to think that I hated you or something. Baby girl I love you. You're my fuckin' queen, and a king needs his queen. I want you, Bry. I need you. "I say. She smiles brightly and I tightly grasp her hand in mine as I stare deeply into her eyes.
"Are you serious? I thought you didn't want that right now?" She questions. I roll my eyes and lean in closer.
"You don't want this? You don't love me, Bryson?"
"I do! It's just, what do I tell Carmelo? He's going to think I led him on. "She says. The mention of his name makes my blood boil. It doesn't matter now because I'm getting my girl back.
"Fuck him, he's not apart of this equation. This is about us. You've been away from me for way too long. I miss you. "She blushes and I lean in even closer for a kiss. That one little kiss turns into a full blown make out session and next thing I know, we're in the back seat of my car.
Everything I said to Bryson I meant. I truly do want her back because I miss her, and I still love her. I never stopped loving her. This wasn't when I wanted to get back together, but it was so convenient. I need her in more ways than one, and we've always promised to be there for each other no matter what. We're made for each other.
I go to remove her shirt, but she stops me. I look at her confused, but I see what she's looking at. My mom was standing right there with a smirk on face.
"She always has the perfect timing. "I mumble.
"I see you two have made up.." Mom trails off. Bryson smiles and so do I. The look on my Mom's face and the way she spoke made me curious. I don't know if she thinks something is up, but nothing is out of the ordinary. I genuinely want to be with Bryson. She's the love of my life and everyone knows that.
>>>Love has no errors, for all errors are the want for love.
-William Law
Once Bryson and her parents left, it was just my parents and I. It was time to face the music. They were going to confront me about my problem. I just know it. I'm pissed because they went in my fucking room, but as parents that's their job. When I have children of my own I'll understand. I sat on the couch in the living room across from my parents. They looked livid.
"You already know what this is about." My mom says firmly. I sigh and nod.
"Yeah, what's my punishment?" I ask. I just really wanted to get this over with. It was honestly starting to kill my vibe. I got my girl back and I feel like I'm fucking floating.
"You're not getting off that easy. You're about to listen to what we have to say, and before you ask, we've already called your Dad and told him. Look forward to hearing a mouthful from him and Eva. "Mom scolded. I rolled my eyes and slouched back in my seat. My Dad shook his head and clenched his fist. This motherfucker wanna hit me? Get his ass beat.
"What you got going over there?" I ask my dad. He clenches his jaw as he stands from his seat.
"You can have this conversation with him because I can't. I'm about to hurt this boy in here, Jasmine. "My dad says.
"Man, you ain't gone do shit but sit over there like you was. "I chuckle. He comes closer to me and I stand up too.
"What? You gone do something, Kurt? You gone hit me nigga?" I yell in his face. He grabs me by my collar and pins me against the wall. I was struggling right now to get his big ass off of me.
"We tried! I tried! Tried so damn hard for you to not turn out like your crackhead ass mama. We just couldn't help you! It's in your blood. "He shouts in my face. My face softens and so does his. My mom held her hand over her mouth in shock of what just happened.
"I'm sorry, Rylan I—" I pushed him off of me.
"Y'all really keeping secrets around here? This what we doing?" I yell. They look at me in pure silence.
"Keeping shit like this from me seems healthy to y'all? Y'all wanna wait until you see a problem to tell me about my mom? Huh?"
"We didn't tell you because we didn't think you would go down this road. It was for the best. "Mom spoke softly.
"The best for who? Me or y'all? You knew I want to find my mom. You know I want to meet her!"
"Only thing you'll find is a gravestone." Dad uttered. I looked him dead in the eyes to see if he was telling the truth. They weren't going to say anything?
"She's dead?" I ask. They nod.
"She died from the same thing you're doing. She overdosed. "Dad voices. I run upstairs to my room and don't even bother to lock the door. They'll just come in anyway. I sprawl out across my bed and begin to cry. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and stop at my door. My dad steps into my room and sits on my bed.
"This wasn't easy to tell you. We didn't even think you cared about her, Rylan. Why would you? She didn't care about you at all. "My Dad preached. I didn't say anything back.
"We want to help you with your addiction, so your mom and I cleared everything out of your room. It's for the best. "
Silence.
"I just want you to know that we love you. Y'know, your mom and I tried and tried to have kids. We just couldn't have kids of our of own so we looked into adopting. The adoption center we went to was the one you were at. We saw so many kids that day of so many races and ethnicities. They were all different ages and your mom and I wanted a baby. You were one of three babies there, and when we saw you..." dad trailed off. He voices was shaky so I could tell he was getting emotional.
"When we saw you, we thought that you were the most perfect being in the world. You were made to be apart of this family. I'm sure if we could have had kids, you would've been one of them. Your mom and I fell so in love you that we came back to see you everyday up until the adoption was finalized. Same for Royce. You probably remember going to see him all the time before he moved in, you were about seven at the time. It was crazy to see how you two clicked. You chose him, really. The point of me telling you this is for you to know that we've lost children, and we don't want to lose anymore. I don't want to see your mother go through that again. Cooperate with us, son. "My dad says. I still wasn't talking, so he left and shut my door behind him. I turn and face the side of my room where my mirror rested.
"I really don't wanna be you anymore." I mumble, taking in my reflection. I stand and gravitate towards it.
"I just want to be loved, and I guess that's wrong. I want to feel normal and at peace with myself, but that's wrong too. "I mutter as I feel myself grow angry at the sight of me. I'm the issue. I always have been.
"I just fucking hate you!" I spat. It seemed like my reflection was speaking back to me. Spitting words of hatred and anything but love at me. The smirk that adorned my reflection just made me so upset. Next thing I know, my fist goes straight into my mirror and it shatters onto my floor. I could just hear my parents calling for me and asking if I was okay. I didn't say anything. I just sat on my bed and stared off into oblivion.
If I can't be loved because it is wrong and awful, then I don't wanna be you anymore..
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Their back together. This is what everyone wanted😶.
Vote and comment ya dig?