Speeding down the gloomy hall of the hospital, I quickly read through all of the names on the doors.
Ellison, Ellez ... Ellie.
Staring at the door in thought as I tried to catch my breath, I wondered if Ellie were asleep and if coming so late was a good idea.
Hesitating, I knocked softly, hearing no response.
I walked in after hearing a slight moan followed by a whispered "come in."
Gently closing the door behind me, I briefly grinned as Ellie's brown eyes darted over at me with an unreadable expression.
He looked as if he had already been up before I came in, a television remote sitting in his hand.
He didn't speak as I approached his bed, only staring at me with a slight frown.
I sat on a stool beside him and eyed his broken leg with guilt.
"Hey Ellie," I whispered.
He nodded in my direction.
"How are you feeli–"
"I'm fine," he said plainly.
A bit taken back by his tone, I almost didn't want to ask anymore questions as he glared at me.
Confused, I twiddled with my fingers.
"Well... I heard you were here and was a bit worried," I began apprehensively. "The trip to leave for our game is tomorrow morning... so... so I came here to check on y–"
"You weren't even at practice," he interrupted.
"Yea, but–"
"Stop," he sighed.
I was shocked to find him frowning at me now.
Chuckling incredulously, he stared up at the ceiling.
"All this time... and you pretend that now of all times that I'm all of a sudden your first thought."
Flabbergasted, I couldn't find the words to respond, my heart sinking into my stomach as he glared daggers at me.
"I'm tired Tyler. I'm tired..."
He chuckled again after shrugging his shoulders.
There was a long pause; silence overcoming the room to be interrupted by the faint sound of the television.
I sat there not knowing what to say or do, scared that whatever I did would get an unwanted outcome.
Suddenly, Ellie met my eyes and took in a breath.
"We used to be really close you know? You always cared about what was happening with me and always texted me when I needed a friend," he said firmly.
Beginning to wonder where this was going, I averted my eyes and clenched my jaw in remorseful anticipation.
"We've been through shit man. But ever since high school... you haven't treated me the same way. I don't care if I sound like clingy... emotional or whatever, but it hurts. It hurts to see someone who you thought was your best friend give all of their attention to someone else. And I don't mean Natalie," he frowned.
I tightly closed my eyes, realization overcoming me.
"Over these last three years, you've neglected me... rather it be knowingly or unknowingly, you've made me feel unwanted. You haven't even hung out with me... not even before that party... after it either. And I'm not stupid Rabbit. Feeling guilty about not spending time with me only made you want to keep me around or... invite me to parties with you and Greyson, because you didn't want it to seem like I didn't matter to you."
"You do–"
"You don't know half of what I've been going through," he said firmly, fighting against tears.
Staring at him now, I could barely look into his eyes... only his quivering lips and the falling tears on his cheeks.
In freshmen year, I remember seeing Ellie sitting at the back of the bus while Greyson and I shared a seat near the middle; I remembered seeing how lonely he looked when I glanced back to see him but didn't make any effort to make up for it later.
One time, I was heading to Greyson's birthday party and was shocked to find that I had missed Ellie's party a week before... but didn't try and fix it, thinking that Ellie hadn't minded.
At the party... when I called Greyson up on the platform with me... Ellie's face.
"Greyson isn't the problem Tyler, it's you. Or... is it me? Am I the problem?"
"No, no. Of course you're not the problem..."
I trailed off, seeing his expression harden slightly.
"Then why do I feel so thrown away man?"
"Ellie... I didn't know you felt this way. I-I should've noticed."
"You should've noticed," he mimicked. "You should've noticed by now that I haven't been feeling well–"
"How was I supposed–"
"I haven't felt like myself for a long time. I've been hiding it for months; but as my bestfriend, I wanted you to see through my facade... I needed you..."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
He slowly shook his head, his face softening a tad as he wiped tears from his cheeks.
"I couldn't tell you that I was depressed, because I couldn't make myself admit it. My parents are dead Tyler; I didn't tell you because you never seemed to care... every time I would get enough courage to say something about it, you'd blow me off like what I had to say wasn't important."
He stopped and blankly stared at me for a while, glaring at me as if his stare would burn a hole through my skull to cause me pain.
"I have an abusive brother that won't let me do anything without a condition or negotiating, which almost always ends with me getting more bruises," he whispered slowly.
"I... can't fight him back."
"I always ask myself, 'how can I hit him back without seeing my father in his eyes?' 'How can he hit me without feeling the hurt that gives... how can he just continuously hurt me and pretend like nothing happened?' I love him... I love him, because before, we were so close, closer than you and I ever were. He never hit me or treated me badly until everything happened."
He averted his eyes and stared down at his leg.
"I needed you there, but you always had other things to do. You always had somewhere to go... and was always occupied with Greyson and everyone else but me."
Tears and his uncontrollable breathing filled the room, becoming almost unbearable as I stared at him with watery eyes.
I couldn't say anything, nor could I even think properly. My body felt weak, and I couldn't move.
An urge to jump into the bed and hold him close came over me, an urge overcoming me to wipe away all of the tears that have waited to flood the world for decades. I felt as if I were an evil person now as I watched him blankly stare away from me.
How could I have been so unaware of all of this?
I never noticed...
I never even thought to ask...
"Just leave," he said suddenly.
Reluctantly, I stood and watched him shake, biting his lip to keep from crying.
My heart felt as if it were stabbed a hundred times as I forced my self to turn away from him.
....
The next morning, day of the trip.
My alarm clock bursted my eardrums and sent an electric jolt through my body as I sat up.
Rubbing my eyes, I squinted at my window and moaned as the bluish morning light illuminated my room.
Instantly, a thought of what happened last night made my head hurt.
The memory of Ellie's hurt eyes and flowing tears made a new wave of guilt rush over me.
I have to fix what I broke.
...
Walking to my car, I harshly sighed as I sat in the driver's side, tiredly reaching to try to turn on my engine.
Curiously eyeing the empty driveway, I noticed that my parents weren't home, more specifically my mom. Realizing that I didn't see my mom in the kitchen reading her daily article or book when I came downstairs, I was a bit confused, considering that she's often home before I leave to go to school.
Cranking my car, I was completely bemused not to hear the usual growl of the engine, the off-putting sound of it failing making my heart sink into my stomach.
My eyes widened seconds later as the car wouldn't crank, even after about five attempts.
No, no, no.
Not now.
After the tenth try, tightly closing my eyes, I sat back in my seat and rubbed my face.
The bus for the trip is leaving in thirty minutes.
What am I going to do?
Getting the idea to grab out my phone, my first thought was to call Natalie.
But staring at her name, I almost immediately foresaw the possible stressful conversation we would have before I could even ask for a ride.
Anyway, it wouldn't seem right to call her for a ride when I hadn't responded to any of her hundreds of text messages.
I'm surprised she didn't try coming to my house to see where I was.
Eyeing Greyson's name moments later, I froze.
Reading his name over and over again as if I didn't know how to pronounce it, I tried to collect my thoughts, failing miserably as I goggled at my screen.
Taking a deep breath, I texted him.
Greyson |
Saying goodbye to my parents, I was texting Ellie to check up on him as I walked to my car.
"So your brother hasn't done anything?"
I briefly looked up to see that most of my neighbors were either just leaving their houses or watering their plants.
My phone vibrated, earning my attention.
"No, but I'm trying to keep out of his way with this heavy cast and everything. He hasn't said anything the entire morning, which is weird."
"Well I hope you're able to keep yourself safe this weekend. Since Genevieve can't exactly hide you in her house, and you can't leave without making noise or being seen, just be careful okay?"
Sitting in my car, I started the engine and smiled once I received a response from Ellie.
"To be honest, I don't think being careful is possible. But hey, good luck this weekend, win that game for me?"
"For you, I will."
Just as I was about to pull out of my driveway, my phone vibrated again.
Staring at my screen, I was surprised to see Tyler's name instead of Ellie's.
Frowning a bit, I was unsure on how I felt at that moment as I read his text.
Bemused with mixed emotions, I hummed in thought, my heart beating slightly faster as I now stared at my house.
I took in a deep breath and slowly nodded, pulling out of the driveway to leave.
Tyler |
I awkwardly stood in my driveway with my suitcase in my hand, staring at the ground now as Greyson pulled in behind my car.
I heard a door shut, a slow sequence of footsteps following until a pair of shoes appeared in my line of sight.
Slowly looking up to find Greyson's brown eyes frowning at me, I found myself staring into them in awe.
I was lost again... loosing focus as he briefly grinned.
He hadn't said anything, but his silence spoke volumes... his stare breaking down every wall I built to keep myself from falling for him.
A pair of hands wrapped around my back, and I realized he was hugging me.
His familiar scent invaded my senses as his warm body chipped away at my frozen heart making it beat faster.
His touch was so sweet as he rubbed my back and tightened his hug.
A feeling of comfort that I yearned for filled my body as a familiar sensation of butterflies in the pit of my stomach returned.
I reluctantly let go as he pulled away, an uncontrollable grin spreading across my face.
Chuckling softly, he watched me with a timid smile.
...
Greyson |
"Tell me what you want, what you really, really want!"
"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!"
We both bobbed our heads back and forth as the song played on, the car slightly jumping with each beat.
Watching Tyler smile and laugh again, it felt like the old times.
We both laughed hysterically when the song went off and left us dancing like idiots.
...
"There they are," Coach Sunny yelled in the parking lot of the school.
Coach Sunny looked relieved yet aggravated as Tyler and I approached the bus.
"Gosh, I was thinking we would lose," Coach whispered to us.
I grinned.
"You two barely made it! Do me a favor, and don't scare me like that again," he said jokingly yet seriously.
"Promise," Tyler and I both said.
Coach grinned before he gestured for us to get on the bus.
Stepping onto the bus, Tyler and I were met with a couple of cheers, everyone slapping our hands as we walked to a seat.
I noticed Ace frowning out of the window, not paying any attention to us as we sat.
Tyler picked up both of our bags and stacked them above us, letting his body press against me as his shirt raised to reveal part of his stomach.
I made myself look away when he sat down, sitting so close to me that he could basically be in my lap.
Playfully eyeing me with a smirk, he sparkled his blue eyes at me.
"Alright guys, we're heading to the hotel now. But before I say anything else, I just want to make something clear... we are not paying for anyone to have separate rooms or rooms with two beds."
A couple of guys groaned, earning a glare from Coach.
"Now I understand that some of you have problems with sharing a bed, but listen... the school isn't paying for luxury, it's paying for cheap comfort. But hey, we're all adults right?"
A couple of freshmen giggled.
"Most of us more than others... but we can handle one night can't we?"
Most of us nodded and some verbally agreed.
"Okay good. And there will be no horse playing, fighting, or... wrestling of any kind in this fucking hotel okay? I don't even know why I have to explain this, but apparently some of you can't control your childish urges."
Tyler nudged my shoulder and grinned at me when I met his eyes.
Yea... I shouldn't let Tyler wrestle with me. The last time, before I broke a few of his vases, I got a little too... excited... in a bad way. That doesn't need to happen.
I chuckled nervously.
"I don't want to see any broken objects, no trashed rooms, no overpriced room service bills, and there are to be no problems with the guest that are already there, got me? Anyway, most of you are seniors, so act your grade and your age. And one last thing about this hotel, the person that you're sitting next to is going to be your roommate. And no... you can't trade or ask for someone else, I've already taken a head count and names of everyone and their partners. Any protesters?"
He waited for anyone to say anything, smiling dramatically when no one did.
"Exactly what I thought."
He pulled out a sheet of paper from his pocket and placed on a pair of glasses.
"The hotel will serve dinner at seven. Make sure that everyone is present when it's time to eat; we have a big game tomorrow, we don't want to risk not having enough energy play. But until then, you're free to use the pool, go for a jog around the area, making sure to stay within range of course; and you can go to the gym that they have. I think... that covers... yes, that covers everything."
He looked back up at us and grinned.
"With everything being said, who's ready to kick some ass!"
We all cheered.
Glancing around the bus at everyone, I caught a glimpse of Ace smirking at me, slowly averting his eyes moments later.