"Honestly, Gerard, I don't know why I do this shit for you." Selena says, holding my arm and guiding me down the hall, pretending like she wasn't sneaking me into the courtyard.
"Because you love me." I giggle and she punches me in the arm.
"Why do you even need to go out here again?" she asks, tightening her grip when a nurse walks past us.
I glance back at Frankie following close behind me. He has his head down, causing his bangs to fall over his face while he picks at his nails. I grin at the top of his head. "I've got a hot date.''
"With who?" Sel asks.
"Look behind you, fuck wad." I reply, sarcastically. She does as I say, her eyes scanning over Frank before she looks back up at me with furrowed brows. I roll my eyes. "Frank, baby?" Frankie looks up at me and I smile. "This is Selena." Selena looks back at him. Frank waves shyly before putting his head back down. "Isn't he just gorgeous?"
"Gerard, th-" she looks at me with confused eyes, then back at Frank before a look of realisation crosses her face. "Oh! Right! Yeah, he is beautiful. Uh, hi, Frankie." she smiles at him. He smiles back before staring at his shoes again. I wonder what's so interesting about the institute issued shoes to him because all he seems to do is stare at his feet. "Well, here we are. Have fun you two!" Sel smiles before tucking the bottle into my jacket pocket and winking at me. I smile at her before pushing the door to the courtyard open and letting the cool autumn air pierce my skin.
The wind was cold but the sun was enough to keep us warm with only a light jacket. I take Frankie's hand in my own and lead him to the corner of the courtyard to sit down in the grass. We sit in a patch of tiny purple flowers and I smile to myself, happy to share moments like these with Frank. I open the bottle of coke and smell it, letting the smell of rum and lime and sugary soft drink fill my body. God, what would I do without Selena?
Here in the nuthouse, we're allowed one sugary item a month, whether that be candy or a soda. I always choose soda and Selena always sneaks into a storage room, spikes it, throws some lime in there, and makes the best damn cuba libre you've ever tasted. It's honestly the only thing that keeps me sane.
I take a swig of the drink and hold it out to Frank. He shakes his head and picks a flower out of the ground, twirling it in his fingers. I take another drink.
We sit in silence for a moment before he leans his head on my shoulder, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "Gerard?" he whispers, his voice hot against my skin.
"Yeah, Frankie?" I reply, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer.
"I-I love you so much, Gee. Thank you for taking care of me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't ever want to be away from you and I never ever want you to let me go. I love you." he says before pressing a feather light kiss on my shoulder. I pull him in that much closer and bury my face in the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his hair.
"I love you too, Frankie. I'll do anything for you."
He nods his head a little before lifting it up and staring at me with big doe eyes. "Anything?" he asks.
"Anything." I confirm, kissing his nose.
He pulls away and sits back, looking down at the flower he still has in his hands. I watch it too, for a moment, but then it's being ripped apart and Frank wraps it up in his fist. I look at his face, wondering why he did that, but he's just smirking down at his hand. "Gerard?"
"Hm?"
"I need you to do something for me." he says nervously.
"O-Okay...?"
"Um... w-well um... I... I need you to kill Brendon Urie."
My eyes fly open in shock. "You what?!"
He backs away a bit, startled and scared. "Gerard... he's not safe. He wants to hurt me. I hear him tell his friends all the time that he wants to 'kill that little faggot, Frank.' or that 'Frank doesn't deserve to live, that piece of shit.' and Gee, I swear, he's come into our room late at night. With weapons. He tried to kill me a few days ago but I told him I would wake you. And you would hurt him. Please, Gerard. I'm not safe. WE'RE not safe. He's a threat and you need to get rid of him. You've done it before." He says softly, breaking down into tears as he begs. I pull him into my lap and rock him back and forth, trying to quiet his sobs. Brendon wants to take Frankie away from me? He's trying to harm him? Bastard. No one can take Frank away from me. I hold the crying boy even closer to my chest.
"Hey, hey. It's gonna be okay, sugar. I told you, I'll do anything for you, and I will." I whisper as I kiss his forehead.
There's only one option.
Eliminate the threat.
~~~
We skip therapy when the time rolls around. Instead of getting there early to sit next to each other, we stay in our dorm, holding the other tightly in our arms. A few minutes after therapy starts, Brendon starts to pound on our door and jiggle the door knob, telling us to "get up and get going!" but the door is locked and neither of us move. Frank flinches every time he speaks or hits the door, but I only draw him in closer and play with his hair. I want to stay in Frank's arms forever and I never want to let him go. Eventually, Brendon gives up and leaves us alone. Frank looks up from my chest, his eyes glazed with tears. I press a soft kiss to his lips and hold him closer.
"It's okay, baby," I whisper, "you won't have to worry about him much longer." Frank nods against me and I sigh in content, just happy I'm able to hold him in my arms.
"G-Gee?" he sniffles.
"What, sugar?"
"W-Will you... uh... will you sing to me?" he asks softly.
"Of course, Frankie, whatever you want." I tell him. I hold his head closer to my chest and start to quietly sing a soft tune I don't even remember the name of. I start to sing a song I think I heard on the radio once, almost a whisper.
"Love her from the get-go.
Pick her up from Heathrow.
Whenever she needs me."
I begin to gently rock him back in forth as he makes a satisfied noise into my chest.
"Watch her on the West end.
Pepper up her best friend.
Whenever she needs me.
Cause she was a different league,
when I was nothing much.
She was a different league,
when I was nothing much."
He starts to hum into my chest to the tune of the song.
"Meet her when the tour's up.
Hug her like her mother would.
Whenever she needs me.
Snog her in the kitchen.
Dance with her to Lemonworld.
Whenever she needs me.
Cause she was a different league,
when I was nothing much.
She was a different league,
when I was nothing much."
This is Frankie's favorite song I sing him to sleep with because he knows it from before getting thrown in the loony bin. it always makes me giggle at this part because he sleepily sounds out the guitar solo. He always sings the last bit with me, too.
"Love her from the get-go.
Pick her up from Heathrow.
Whenever she needs me."
He nuzzles farther into my chest and makes a happy humming noise as a thank you before falling asleep. My mind goes blank when I'm with him. Well, not totally blank, but pretty damn close. All I can think when I'm with him is about him. He's the only thing in my mind. His happiness, his safety, his smile... him. I look at his sleeping frame, watching his chest slowly rise and fall in a perfect rhythm. He always looks so content when he sleeps. I wish I could keep him this way forever. Not that I don't like his awake face, just that he looks more peaceful when he's asleep. I bring my hand to the back of his head and twirl his hair in my fingers, kissing his forehead, but being careful not to wake him.
I don't even realise I'm asleep until I'm woken up by Frank shaking me and his tears falling onto my face.
I don't register anything except Frank being upset. I grab him and pull him close when I begin to wake up a little more. I realise why Frankie's crying.
"Gerard? Hey, buddy? You in there? Well, duh you are. The doors only lock from the inside. Anyways, I just wanna chat, man. Please? Open up?" He says awkwardly. I look at Frankie and he nods.
"It's time." He says, wiping his tears.
I nod too and untangle myself from him, pressing a kiss to his cheek and smiling. He tried to return the gesture but it looked more like a grimace. I give him a sympathetic look before tucking some hair behind his ear and making my way over to the door.
I only open it a crack so he doesn't see Frank. "Uh... Hey, Beebs. Can we take a walk and chat?" I ask timidly.
"Oh! Uh... yeah, sure. sounds great. let's go to the courtyard." He says.
I nod and slip out of my room, closing the door behind me, and walking down the hall with Brendon.
"So..." he starts," why didn't you show?"
"I uh... I needed a minute." I lie, "A-A break. I'm sorry, I should've told you-"
Brendon holds his hand up to stop me. "No, no. It's totally okay. I get it. I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay. You've been spending a lot of time alone and I'm worried about you, man. I care about you."
We shove open the doors to the courtyard and keep walking. There's nobody out here and there's no one to be seen in the lounge where the courtyard doors are located. Perfect.
Wait.
What did he mean by alone?
"I'm not alone." I say, eyebrows furrowed.
"Y... Yeah you are? All the time... Right?"
"No. I'm always with Frankie. Maybe you just haven't seen us, but we're kinda... y'know... going steady." I chuckle and look up at his face. He looks so confused.
"Who the hell is Frank?" He asks right before I shove him into the fountain.
He makes a loud splash when he falls but I'm quick to straddle his hips, holding his legs down with my weight and his arms behind him with my knees. I hold his neck down so he can't come up for air. Thank God the only window to this courtyard is through the heavy metal door. He starts to stop thrashing as heavily, instead starting to convulse every few seconds. After about a minute and a half, he stills.
For good.
I roll off of him and lay on the grass, breathing heavily. Suddenly, Frank is by my side, hands in my hair and kissing my cheek. "Thank you so much, baby. You're so good to me I'm so proud of you, Gee. I feel much safer now thank you so much. I love you." He whispers in my ear. I lean into his touch but soon I hear the creaking of the metal door to the courtyard opening.
Then, Frank vanished.
—————
Song: Heathrow - Catfish And The Bottlemen