Taehyung's staring competition began again but this time with a wall instead of the ceiling as he sat on the floor with his back pressed against his bed.
He found his phone on his table and now he was twirling it in his hands, wondering if he should call home. He was afraid of what he would hear. Done with thinking, he called, telling himself that he'll deserve whatever is thrown at him.
His heart dropped when no one picked it up. He called three times before putting the phone down. Why won't anyone pick up? Where are they?
He called his sister's phone next and someone answered.
"Eon Jin?"
"Oppa? Thank god you called. It's Appa's funeral today." She informed him, her voice as tired as Taehyung felt.
"Eomma yelled at me when I said you should come too." She whispered, close to crying.
"It's okay, Eon Jin."
"But you have to come! You're the oldest child. Oppa, please! We need you here." She was crying softly now, frustrated at everything happening.
What happened to our beautiful family?
"I can't, you know that. I can't make eomma hate me even more. I won't be able to bear it because I know she won't let me come in."
"I'll help you Oppa! We can sneak you in, it won't be a problem at all!"
Suddenly, there were voices on the other side of phone. Taehyung held his breath when he heard his mother's shouts.
"What did I say to you?! Never contact any of my family again, don't you understand?! You are dead to all of us! Don't you dare come near the funeral or anywhere around my family! You mean nothing to us anymore! Understand?" Her shouting turned to normal gradually but her voice was still filled with pain, exhaustion and anger.
"Understand?!" She yelled again when Taehyung didn't reply.
"Yes. I understand."
She hung up.
Taehyung put the phone down. He officially just lost his family.
I should feel sad, right?
Yeah, I should be crying right now.
But why aren't there any tears?
I guess everyone is right. I really don't care about anything except myself.
He rubbed his face and went to look in the mirror. He stared at himself.
Why am I not crying?!
He yelled at himself in his mind.
Stop being so selfish, Kim Taehyung. Your father just died, because of you nonetheless, you weakling. The least you could do is cry for him.
Nothing.
He gave a loud humourless laugh after a minute.
How pathetic.
He shook his head and left his room, looking for Yoongi and Namjoon.
He heard music from Suga's studio and both of them talking to each other. He knocked on the door.
Yoongi was about to close the door on his face as soon as he opened it but Namjoon stopped him and looked at Taehyung expectantly.
"It won't happen again. I promise. I'll make sure to be mature and take care of my responsibilities and focus only on Bangtan. I'll work hard and most importantly make sure you don't have to worry about me anymore." Taehyung finished his little speech without any emotions as he looked at the floor.
Namjoon sighed and patted his shoulder, giving him a small smile.
No, don't smile. Don't give me pats like I'm a good person.You don't know what I've done, what I'm becoming.
"We only want the best for you, Taehyung. If you're having any problems, just come to us, okay? But don't make us worried about you all the time for small things."
No, I won't come to you. I don't deserve your attention or your care. Who knows? You'll end up like my father as well if you care too much for me. Or like my mother if you found out what I've done.
Taehyung nodded, emotionless.
"I understand. You won't have any complaints regarding me anymore."
I won't be a nuisance in your life anymore.
Yoongi nodded and with a quiet 'good' closed the door.
I'll be what you want me to be.
You're the only family I have left.
I'll do anything for you.
So, you won't be disappointed in me anymore.
~~~~~~~<><><><><><><>~~~~~~~
Next he went to Jin and Hoseok and apologised, saying the same words to them.
Jin gave him a hug, telling him it's all good if he's aware that what he did was wrong. Hoseok gave him his usual full blown smile that would have made him smile automatically before but not anymore.
Hoseok didn't feel better when the younger didn't return his smile. That was really odd. No one could resist it.
"Taehyung~ah.... Do you want to watch a movie with us?" He changed his question at the last minute, letting the sensitive matters go for now.
"Sure, if that's what you want, hyung."
Hoseok squealed and grabbed his hand, both walking to sit on the couch where Jimin and Jungkook were arguing over which movie to watch.
They asked Taehyung who simply shrugged. At the end, they ended up watching the movie Jimin chose because like him, Jhope wasn't a fan of horror either.
Taehyung had no idea what they watched. He just stared at the screen, not registering anything or paying attention to the others comments on different scenes.
They all noticed it but didn't say anything, letting the boy be.
He must be tired, especially after the argument.
The movie ended just like that. Hoseok ordered food and everyone ate while Taehyung stared at his bowl.
Taking a few sips of seaweed soup whenever he noticed anyone looking at him, he tried to fool everyone. To some extent, it worked. Not on Hoseok though as he was paying close attention to the quiet member of Bangtan.
Namjoon looked at Hoseok paying close attention to the second youngest and started his observations as well.
We might have been too hard on him.
To compensate in some way, he picked some beef with his chopsticks and put them near the younger's mouth.
"Try this. It's delicious."
Taehyung opened his mouth without looking at him, and ate it.
Everyone was done with having a heavy lunch, feeling a bit too full. Even though they were given a day off, they still ended up going to practice in the early evening.
Taehyung was informed of this sudden change of plans who sighed in relief for having something to do instead of staring at the wall.
He quickly took a shower and got ready to make sure they won't have to wait for him.
He was the first one out as he waited for the others, patiently.
They all crowded in the room, the dance leader excitedly discussing this new choreography he came up with, with his roommate. Jimin seemed to not pay much attention as he scrolled through his phone, making Hoseok slap the back of his head in frustration.
Jungkook laughed at that while looking at Taehyung. He had expected him to laugh as well but Taehyung kept on walking instead of paying attention around him.
Jungkook frowned.
Jin noticed it, asking him but the maknae simply shrugged it off with a 'nothing'.
They practiced all evening and when the night came, their manager forcefully kicked them out to lock and go home as well.
All the while, that one member didn't speak, smile or laugh. It was like he wasn't even there and a robot had taken his place.
And that's how the next weeks went by.