The world is how it should be.
.
I woke with the same thought in my head.
I was met by the sun trickling through the curtains of my balcony window.
.
I rolled over, expecting to see Betty laying there, but her side of the bed was empty.
A little note was on her pillow.
.
My first love note.
.
Had to pee really bad and I was dying for a coffee.
Meet me in the kitchen when you awake.
Love, Betty.
.
My first love note.
.
I folded it carefully and put it in the drawer of my nightstand.
I really needed to pee, too.
.
I love it when we need to pee together.
Maybe I should have another toilet installed in our bathroom.
.
I got dressed after and went downstairs.
Actually, I more like, floated downstairs.
.
As I walked past the common room, I noticed it was empty.
Didn't matter.
I could smell the coffee as I neared the kitchen.
.
Maybe everyone had left, so that Betty and I could share a quiet morning coffee after the beautiful night we had.
I opened the kitchen door.
.
Right.
Like that shit would ever happen in this place.
.
"There's my man," Russell crowed, as soon as he saw me.
.
The kitchen was filled.
Now I knew where everyone was.
.
Everyone was cheering
and
clapping
and
whooping
and
high 5ing.
.
Russell flew to me, landed on my shoulder and put his wings around my head.
"My little boy is now a man."
.
He sounded like he was crying.
And he actually did not shit on me.
.
Nick came to me (human form) and hugged me tight.
"How does it feel to get that monkey off your back. More or less."
.
"I feel ..."
.
The Baron cut me off.
He had tears too.
.
How do ghosts cry?
.
"My son is now a man."
He hugged me.
"I just wish I could have been there to help you along."
.
"I think I managed ..."
.
Calvin was in front of me, smiling.
"How did it feel?"
.
"You mean how do I feel?"
.
"No," he whispered.
"How did it feel?"
He made a grinding motion against my leg.
.
I looked over at Betty.
She was sitting at the kitchen table, both hands on her mug, smiling and looking at me.
She blew me a kiss.
She was so beautiful.
.
I looked at Calvin.
"Stop humping my leg, Calvin."
.
Harold was next.
I still wasn't two feet inside the door.
"Can I borrow the keys to the van?"
.
"What? No."
.
"Shit."
He stormed away, pouting.
.
The shouting and yelling and whooping continued, as I forced my way to the counter, to get a coffee.
I poured it quickly and sat next to Betty.
I kissed her quickly on the lips.
The cheering got louder.
.
Nicky stood behind us, arms around both of us.
"My absolute favourite two, now, non virgin humans."
She kissed both of us.
"I love you guys."
.
We both nodded and smiled ...
Together.
.
Wasn't that so cute?
.
"Three cheers for the two non virgin humans ... Krall and Betty."
.
"Hip Hip
Hooray
Hip Hip
Hooray
Hip Hip
Hooray"
.
"Speech. Speech."
.
I looked at Betty.
"You got to be kidding."
.
She just smiled.
"Do you want this to ever stop?"
.
I shook my head and stood.
I held my hands up.
Gradually the noise stopped.
.
I looked around at my family.
They really were my family.
.
Betty took my hand and squeezed it.
"You can do this baby," she whispered.
.
"Last night was a very special night for me and Betty."
I looked at her, smiling.
"I want to thank all of you, for allowing that night to happen."
.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
.
"Details," Calvin quipped.
.
Everyone looked at him.
"SHUT UP, CALVIN."
.
General Bob even shot at him.
.
"That hurt," Calvin squealed.
.
How ...?
Never mind.
.
"Anyway. Betty and I both want you to know, that we think of all of you as family. A really weird and fucked up family, but none the less ... Family."
I kissed Betty on the lips.
.
"Don't say fucked up, lover," she whispered.
.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
.
"Thank you."
I sat down amid the yells and clapping and whoops and cheering and crapping.
.
"Did you tell them anything?" I asked Betty.
.
"What?"
.
"Did you tell them anything about last night?"
.
Betty moved closer, shaking her head.
"I can't hear you, hun."
.
"DID ... YOU ... TELL ... THEM ... WHAT ..."
I suddenly realized it was deathly quiet.
I finished the sentence anyway.
"we did last night?"
.
Betty just shook her head and sipped her coffee.
.
Russel flew to the table.
"Betty never said a word.
We could hear you two all over the house."
.
I looked at Betty, a questioning look on my face.
.
She just nodded.
.
"You two were a little loud," Nick added.
.
"The banging kept me awake all night," Calvin complained.
.
"Banging?"
I looked at Betty.
.
"We have a headboard, hun."
.
Russell pointed a wing at Betty.
"And you sounded like a rat in heat."
.
"Hey?" Bob snapped.
.
Russell started to mimic Betty's voice.
He did a pretty good job too.
"Oh Krall.
KraLL.
KrALL.
KRALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
You are so adequate.
This is so interesting."
.
Betty pushed Russell off the table.
"I did not say that."
She looked at me.
"I didn't."
.
The Baron leaned on the table, staring at Betty.
"Oh Hummingbird, your lips are like red popsicles. Your skin like a bumpy door mat. Your breasts like two sagging oranges."
.
I threw my coffee in the Baron's face.
.
He put his hands to his face.
"MY EYES. MY EYES. I'M BLIND."
.
"Asshole," I smiled as I got up.
.
He pointed at the coffee on the floor.
"And I am not cleaning that up."
.
Nicky stood by me at the counter, as I poured another coffee.
"You didn't have to say anything Krall.
You had a certain glow about you. A special aura."
.
I smiled.
"Thank you Nicky."
.
She smirked.
"And besides that, Betty told me everything."
.
I turned to Betty.
"Really?"
.
"Well she is my best girlfriend."
.
Betty and Nicky high-5ed.
.
I just shook my head as I sat down.
As usual, the bedlam lasted for about 15 minutes, until, I guess, Betty had enough.
She stood up and yelled ....
"SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!"
.
Dead silence.
.
"Now. You have all had your moments at mine and Krall's expense."
She took my hand.
"Krall and I did share an amazing night together last night and I hope it is just the first of many.
We also decided that I am moving in."
.
A loud cheer.
.
Betty put up her hand.
.
Dead silence again.
.
"So. New rule.
Upstairs, is off limits to everyone.
Nicky and Nick can have the guest bedroom downstairs and the rest of you, just do what you have always done.
BUT ...
NO ...
UPSTAIRS."
She glared at everyone.
.
Calvin put up his hand.
Everyone looked at him.
"NO ONE CALVIN."
.
"Have I made myself clear?"
.
Everyone nodded.
Russel crapped.
Betty pointed at him.
"And you start cleaning up your own crap."
Bob laughed, pointing at Russell.
"And you will help him, Mister."
.
Betty looked at me and then around at everyone.
"I love all of you. I really do, but Krall is the love of my life.
And if we are to all live here together, we have to respect each other and by that, I mean ...
you guys have to respect me and Krall.
Okay?"
.
Everyone smiled and agreed.
.
Betty walked from the table, to a cupboard over the sink and took down a bottle of scotch.
As she opened it, she said,
"Now, lets have a drink ...
to celebrate ...
the fact ...
that ..."
She held the glass high.
"I'M NOT A VIRGIN, ANYMORE."