The next morning, everyone was enjoying breakfast, talking about Armaan's music, when a determined Shilpa walked down the stairs.
She turned to Armaan, and said, "I'm ready, Armaan. You're right."
"Shilpa!" Armaan whispered, shocked. "Are you sure?
Shilpa nodded. Armaan looked at Sid, who gave him a reassuring nod, even though he himself was very surprised.
"Have you thought about it like we talked?" Armaan asked, seeking confirmation.
"Yes. I have. What you said last night was right, Armaan. I can't hide forever, can I? And, she deserves to know," Shilpa replied.
"Well, if you've decided, I'm with you. Like I promised," Armaan told her. He got up from his chair and pulled her into a hug.
"You're so brave, Shilpa. So very brave. I'm proud of you," he whispered lowly, so only she could hear.
"Guys, kya baat ho rahi hai?" Anjali asked, curious.
Armaan and Shilpa pulled back simultaneously.
"I have to tell you guys something," Shilpa announced.
"Uh, Shilpa? We can talk about it separately. You don't have to tell everyone," Armaan intervened.
"No, Armaan. I don't mind. They should all know too," Shilpa told him.
"Shilpa, Armaan is right. Let's talk privately," Sid spoke for the first time since she'd come down.
"Nahi, Sid. I've decided. Ab jab soch hi liya hai, toh batana chaahti hu," she said.
"Dr. Riddhima," Shilpa started, surprising everyone. What did she have to tell Riddhima?
"Haan, Dr. Shilpa?" Riddhima asked confused.
"Ek baat hai, jo aapko pata honi chahiye. In fact, mujhe aapko bohot pehle bata dena chahiye tha, lekin kabhi himmat hi nahi hui," Shilpa said.
"Aisi kya baat hai, Dr. Shilpa?" Riddhima asked. She placed a comforting hand on Shilpa's shoulder, trying to tell her that it would all be okay, and that she could trust Riddhima with whatever it was she wanted to say.
"Main... Main..." Shilpa tried, still scared. She wasn't able to say the words out loud.
Riddhima was the most important person in Shilpa's life. Shilpa wanted her in her life. In any way possible. But, she was afraid that once the truth was out, Riddhima would never speak to her again.
The decision to tell Riddhima the truth had not been an easy one. Shilpa hadn't slept a wink the entire night, thinking about it. She knew that what Armaan was saying was correct. Riddhima deserved to know the truth. She deserved to know that she had one more sister.
But, the thought that really motivated her to come out with the truth was the hope that maybe Riddhima would accept her. Shilpa wanted Riddhima to be her sister in every sense of the word. She didn't want a label, but a relationship. She wanted Riddhima to be with her, the way Riddhima was with Anjali. She hoped, that once Riddhima found the truth, that would happen. She also hoped that she'd gain another family if that happened. A new set of parents, 2 new sisters and 2 brothers - in - law who would be like brothers to her.
Her parents had loved Shilpa, but, they didn't want anymore kids because they were so busy in their own lives. They didn't have enough time to spend with Shilpa, so another child was out of question. Both of them were extremely busy with their business and mergers, so Shilpa was raised by nannies. But, despite being so busy, her parents never failed to tell her that they loved her. The little time they spent together, Shilpa was the happiest girl in the world. They lavished her with so much attention that it made her heart sing. They weren't the type of parents who threw money at Shilpa to assuage their guilt. Yes, Shilpa had lesser restrictions and she was never denied any material comforts because her parents felt guilty that they didn't spend enough time with her, but that wasn't all they did. They would constantly call her to check on her, they would never miss a birthday or any special occasion. Yes, they weren't able to make it for all of her school functions, but they made up for it by cheering her on the phone and sending her flowers. If they skipped a play or a race, one of the nannies who accompanied Shilpa was made to record the entire thing so that her parents could watch it later. And, they always did.
So, yes, Shilpa had loving parents, a nice family, but in the little time she'd spent in Mumbai, she knew that Riddhima's family was far more loving than hers had ever been. And, she wanted to be a part of that. Desperately. She just hoped it would happen. That they wouldn't blame her for anything, but would give her a place in their family, no matter how small.
"Yes, Shilpa? What do you want to say? Don't hesitate. It's okay. You can tell me anything," Riddhima assured Shilpa again, bringing her out of her thoughts.
Riddhima was very interested in knowing what Shilpa had to say. Their relationship hadn't been the best, ever since Shilpa had come to Sanjeevani. They'd gotten off on the wrong foot, with Riddhima always misunderstanding Shilpa at every turn.
It was later that Riddhima had realized how unfair she'd been to Shilpa. It was the fact that Shilpa was a lot like Armaan in so many ways. Her mannerisms, her attitude - all of it reminded Riddhima of a 23 year old Armaan who'd swooped into her life, unannounced and then changed it forever.
She was constantly running away from the ghost of a past that she knew would never leave her alone, but she was too stubborn to admit it. Even to herself. So, she would shout at Shilpa for the smallest things, because all of it would remind her of Armaan and the time they'd spent together, the memories they'd shared.
And then, it happened. Shilpa fell for Armaan. Riddhima had had her doubts from the beginning. The way the two of them fought over everything had been a clear indicator of a budding relationship. Hadn't her relationship with Armaan started the same way? They fought about everything and then, when it all turned to love, she never even realized.
And, it was happening all over again. Right in front of her eyes. She could see Shilpa fall for Armaan. But, what scared her more was what if Armaan fell for her too. Yes, she knew she was the biggest hypocrite in the world. She herself wasmarried but the thought of Armaan in a mere relationship with someone else sent fire through her body. She tried to justify her actions by saying that the difference was that her marriage to Sid was but a responsibility for her that she had to shoulder for the rest of her life, but that if Armaan fell for Shilpa, it wouldn't be a responsibility for him. It would mean that he'd moved on. That he'd forgotten about Riddhima. And she couldn't have that. She couldn't have Armaan loving someone else because she wanted Armaan to love only her. Forever. Just like he'd promised. Because, she knew, she would only love him, even if she was married.
But, the possibility of Armaan falling for Shilpa was increasing by the day. She'd seen it in his eyes. The spark he'd been missing for so long. The spark that she'd seen die, when she'd told him that she was already married, that they couldn't be together again. She'd seen the light leave Armaan's eyes that day. And, she'd never seen it again. Till, Shilpa came to Sanjeevani. Fighting and arguing with her made Armaan happy. She could see it. That's what scared her. Shilpa had been able to give him, what Riddhima had snatched from him so cruelly. Happiness, no matter how fleeting or short lived.
Seeing Armaan with her made Riddhima burn in jealousy. So, she'd gotten even worse with Shilpa. She'd taunt her, shout at her for even the most minute things. She'd started expecting immaculate perfection from Shilpa. Anything less was unacceptable. She told herself it was because she wanted Shilpa to be a good doctor, that the new girl in Armaan's life had to be perfect so that he could be happy, but she'd only been lying to herself. She was only doing these things out of frustration and jealousy. That was it.
But, none of it was Shilpa's fault. Was it her fault that her mannerisms reminded Riddhima of Armaan? Was it her fault that Armaan liked arguing with her? Was it her fault that Armaan enjoyed her company? No. None of it was her fault. It had all been Riddhima's. And, she'd punished someone else for her shortcomings.
By the time she'd realized just how wrong she'd been, Shilpa had already left. And Riddhima had never even gotten the chance to apologize. So, now, Riddhima wanted to be there for Shilpa in any way she could.
"Uhh..." Shilpa looked at Riddhima with wide eyes, still so afraid.
Sensing her distress, Armaan took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay, Shilpa. Say it. Main hu tumhaare saath. It'll be fine. I promise," he urged.
Shilpa turned from Riddhima to look at him. She was so very frightened.
Armaan was so very proud of Shilpa. He knew that it was a very difficult choice to make. He knew it all too well. He'd struggled with the same choice when he'd found out that Riddhima was adopted. On one hand, he felt that it was Riddhima's right to know such an important truth about herself. And, on the other, he didn't want to disrupt the happy life she'd built for herself and be the cause of any pain or unhappiness in her life.
That time, he'd chosen the easy way out & kept quiet, not telling her anything. That had been a huge mistake. Riddhima had lashed out badly and blamed Armaan for everything once she found out the truth.
He didn't want Shilpa to make the same mistakes he had. He wanted her to come clean on her own.
Shilpa squeezed Armaan's hand tightly, bringing him out of his memories of the day that Riddhima had found out that he knew about the adoption and hadn't told her.
"Hey!" Armaan exclaimed, pulling her into a side hug. "It's gonna be okay. I promise. You haven't done anything wrong. It's okay," he reassured her again. "Say it."
Seeing the soft expression on Riddhima's face and Sid's encouraging one, with Armaan standing beside her, Shilpa summoned all her strength to say the words that she'd wanted to say for 7 years, but hadn't ever had the courage to do so before.
Shilpa took a deep breath, closed her eyes and imagined herself standing in between Riddhima & Anjali, both of them having an arm looped through their husband's with Shashank, Padma and Nani sitting on the sofa. All 8 of them laughing, like a big, happy family.
"My father's name is Karthik Malhotra," she announced, taking everyone by surprise.
"What?" Riddhima asked, confused. "Who?"
"Karthik Malhotra," Shilpa answered.
"Okay," Riddhima replied. "Why should it matter to me?"
Riddhima didn't understand why Shilpa was telling her this. So, her father's name was Karthik. Good for her! But, how did this relate to Riddhima in any way?
Shilpa looked at Riddhima, shocked. Why was she asking her that? Wasn't it enough? Karthik Malhotra. Her father. Their father. Of course it concerned Riddhima. Didn't she know her own father's name? Shilpa thought. But then, she backtracked. Of course Riddhima knew her father's name. For her, it was Dr. Shashank Gupta. Karthik Malhotra had been nothing more than a sperm donor.
"Um..." Shilpa trailed off, not knowing what to say. She looked at Armaan and Sid for help, her eyes seeking theirs with desperate hope. Armaan sighed and stepped forward when he saw that Sid hadn't. He understood Sid's hesitation. He didn't want his wife to know that he'd hidden such a huge thing from her for so long.
"Riddhima..." He began, unsure. He didn't know how to frame the words to soften the blow that was to come but saw no way around it. He took a deep breath and began again.
"Riddhima, Karthik Malhotra was... He was..." He trailed off again, not knowing what to say.
"He was who, Armaan?" Riddhima asked. She really wanted to know who this Karthik Malhotra was and why knowing him was such a big deal.
"He was your mother's fiance," Armaan replied in a single breath and then turned around, unable to face Riddhima after telling her the truth.
Riddhima was shocked at the revelation and her legs automatically took a step back. She collided into Nikita, who held her up and supported her, locking her arms around Riddhima's waist to steady her before letting go.
"What?" Riddhima asked, seeking confirmation, at the same time wanting Armaan to say that it was just a horrible joke he'd decided to play on her. Her mother's ex fiance. She understood what Armaan was actually trying to say.Karthik Malhotra was her birth father.
Riddhima had never tried to find out the name of her mother's ex, the man who'd lured her into his bed with promises of marriage and happily ever after, but then abandoned her the minute he found out she was pregnant. Not once. She didn't want to, because that man meant nothing to her. For her, her father was and would always be Shashank Gupta.
"Ar... Armaan?" She asked him, taking shaky steps forward till she was standing right behind him. She kept her hands on his shoulders and then made him turn around. Armaan did so, but kept his face down, avoiding eye contact.
"Armaan," Riddhima commanded again, making him look up at the authority in her voice.
"Is this true?" She asked again. Armaan nodded before looking away. Shilpa had silent tears running down her face as she observed the exchange between Armaan and Riddhima. Karan had his arms around Shilpa in silent support as Tamanna held her hand.
Riddhima looked at her parents, wanting them to deny the fact, but the anguish that was so clear on her mother's face was answer enough for her. Karthik Malhotra was her... Father. Not her dad, but her father. Knowing the truth still hurt though. Now, she knew the name of the person who hated her so much that he'd abandoned her before she was even born.
Riddhima couldn't control herself any longer and started crying. Sid moved forward to comfort her, but Riddhima ran into the safety of her father's embrace. She hugged him tight and hid her face in his chest as she sobbed.
Shashank felt like he could breathe for the first time in years. Riddhima had been so distant since Armaan had left and their relationship had been extremely rocky since Shashank had refused to support Riddhima's decision to get an annulment. This was the first time in 6 years that she was hugging him and as much as he wanted to rejoice over the fact, he couldn't because he knew his daughter's heart was breaking into pieces at the moment.
"Shhh. It's okay. Kuch nahi hua. Main hu na?" He whispered in Riddhima's ears, soothing and shushing her. "It's okay. Shhh."
After a few minutes when Riddhima's sobs subsided, Shashank pulled back and wiped off Riddhima's tears and kissed her forehead. "Kuch nahi hua hai, okay? He reassured her. Riddhima smiled timidly.
Shilpa was getting really emotional seeing Riddhima react the way she did. She wanted them to be a family. She wanted Riddhima to be her sister.
"Riddhima Di... Aap... Aap..." She tried to say something to comfort her, but didn't know what would make her feel better, so she moved forward to hug her, but Riddhima stopped her.
"Don't," Riddhima commanded. "Just don't. And I'm not your di. I'm not your anything. We're just two people who used to work together many years ago. That's it. Nothing else. Don't try to give whatever this relationship is another name. We'll never be sisters, we'll never even be friends, because I don't want to associate with the likes of you."
Riddhima spat out the last few words in utter disgust, shocking everyone in the room.
Shilpa gasped at the venom in Riddhima's tone and ran away from there, sobbing loudly. She couldn't believe that Riddhima could be so cruel. The way she'd spoken to Shilpa just then, it shattered her. Riddhima's words played on a loop in Shilpa's mind and the disgust in her expression was at the forefront of her thoughts, making it impossible for her to forget it. She couldn't believe she'd been naive enough to think that Riddhima would accept her. That any of them would. She shouldn't have said anything. Now, she'd ruined everything.
Shilpa came to a stop near the pool house, by the garden and sat down in the shade a of a huge banyan that was planted there. This place always brought her peace. She desperately wished for that serenity today, but it didn't seem to find her, like it always did. She'd been crying for a few minutes, just sitting there, when she felt arms around her, pulling her close to a strong, hard body.
"It's okay, Shilpa," Karan murmured, running his hands up and down her back in a comforting gesture. "I got you."
Armaan looked at Riddhima in absolute shock, unable to fathom the way she'd just behaved with Shilpa.
"What?" Riddhima asked him, when she saw him staring. His eyes held so much anger and disappointment, that Riddhima was taken aback.
"Nothing," Armaan replied. "I'm just surprised at what happened. Even though I really shouldn't be, because of course, you don't care about anybody but yourself."
"What are you saying?" Riddhima asked, confused.
"I'm saying that this isn't the Riddhima Show, in case you've forgotten. There are people in the world, other than you, Riddhima. And they have feelings. You should try to respect them, but I guess it's too much to ask, because as long as you're happy, who cares if everyone else dies, am I right?" Armaan spat.
"Armaan!" Shashank shouted. "You don't talk to my daughter like that!"
Armaan snorted. "Of course, I shouldn't speak to her like that, but she can say anything to anybody without consequences, yes? Without caring how it would affect said person, without thinking about how absolutely cruel it is to say those words, she's allowed to say them. But I am not. Yes, of course."
"Really? You're... You're defending her. Wow!" Riddhima scoffed. "I don't believe you!"
"Of course I'm defending her. Any one would, you lunatic! Do you hear yourself? Do you not realize how cruel and vindictive it was? Saying all that to her? I don't associate with the likes of you? You might as well have called her garbage!" Armaan ranted.
"Why do you care so much?" Riddhima shouted.
She couldn't help it. She was so freaking jealous. Why did Armaan always chose Shilpa? This wasn't the first time he was defending her in front of Riddhima and listening to him, she couldn't help but recollect all the times that he'd done the same thing. Why was she so important to him?
"She's my friend, Riddhima. Of course I care!" Armaan replied.
"And me? I'm not your friend? Don't you care about me?" She asked, feeling extremely vulnerable.
"That's not the point! Of course you're my friend. I care about you, too," Armaan replied earnestly.
"But not as much as her, right?" Riddhima questioned.
"Where is this coming from? This is so not the point of this conversation, Riddhima. The point of this conversation is that you treated Shilpa like filth, after everything she's done for you. After all she's given up for you, you still treated her so badly and she deserves better!" Armaan answered. He couldn't help the tears that fell from his eyes when he said that, because only he knew how much Shilpa had actually suffered because of this. She never said anything to anybody, but finding out that you have a stepsister that your father abandoned, it's a huge shock to anybody and Shilpa hadn't fared any better after finding out herself.
"What has she done for me?" Riddhima asked. "Really? What is it that she's done that's so great?"
"She abandoned her family for you, you fool!" Armaan roared.
"WHAT?" Armaan's answer was met with gasps across the room.
"Yes, she did," Armaan asserted. Turning to Rahul, he asked, "You always wondered why she had such a strenuous relationship with her dad, didn't you?"
Rahul nodded. "This is why," Armaan replied. "She absolutely loathes her father now that she knows what he did. She left him when he needed her the most. Because of you," Armaan accused Riddhima.
"What?" Riddhima asked, shocked. "She did what?"
"She left her father... After she found out about what he did to your mother," Armaan answered, looking away. He'd promised Shilpa he wouldn't ever tell anyone about this, but after how Riddhima had treated her, he felt that Riddhima should know just how much Shilpa had sacrificed for her.
"Her father... He suffered from a heart attack when Shilpa was 21. And, he was afraid that he wouldn't make it. So, he told Shilpa everything. Thankfully, he recovered, but Shilpa couldn't stay with him after what she knew, so she hired a nurse to look after her father and flew to India to look for you. She went to Panchgani because that's where her father was from. She found the orphanage in which he grew up and met the caretaker, who happened to have grown up in the same orphanage with her father. The caretaker, Bua, helped Shilpa look for you. It took a long time but Shilpa found out that you'd been adopted by Dr. Shashank. She knew that Dr. Shashank had a daughter, Anjali, who was only a few months elder to her own stepsibling. That's how she knew you were her sister and not Anjali. When she found out, she came to Mumbai, because she wanted you to be a part of her family, Riddhima. She left everything behind for you. And you... Gods, what did you do?" Armaan asked.
Riddhima couldn't help the sobs that wracked her body after that. She never knew that Shilpa had sacrificed so much, given up so much, just for her. Knowing all this, it just made her feel so wretched about how she'd talked to Shilpa.
"I... I..." She tried to speak, but was unable to.
"Save it, Riddhima. Just... I don't wanna listen to anything you have to say right now. It's my fault. I shouldn't have talked her into telling you. I knew how you'd react. You behaved exactly the same way when you found out I knew about your adoption. You abandoned me, forgot about our friendship, forgot everything. You were selfish and cruel and heartless and vindictive and you didn't stop for one second to take into account how I must have felt in that moment. You were so bad. And, knowing all that, I still did it, so I guess, it's all my fault," Armaan said.
"No... Armaan... I..." Riddhima sobbed. She never knew that Armaan had felt that way when she found out about the adoption. She didn't even think. She was so far gone thinking about her own pain, she didn't stop to think who she was hurting. But, of course, her behaviour must have hurt Armaan. She'd leaned on him during the whole episode, holding herself up with his support. But that had only lasted as long as she'd thought it was Anjali who was adopted. The minute she found out it was her, she'd lashed out and taken all her parents' anger out on an unsuspecting Armaan, who'd still done his best to support her and her mother, forgetting her harsh words. She'd never even apologized. Remembering that made her feel even worse. She should have admitted her mistake and apologized to Armaan.
"Look, Riddhima. You've made your stance on the subject clear, so now I'm gonna ask you to keep your distance from Shilpa. She's really important to me and I'm telling you now, if she cries one more tear because of you, I'll forget everything about us and protect her. You'll have to deal with me and you know that when I get vindictive, I get really vindictive. So, just... Stay away," Armaan commanded, walking away.
Riddhima looked at his retreating back, unable to come to terms with the fact that things had gone so wrong between them. It had just been a couple nights ago when they'd finally had a new a start. They'd just become friends after everything and now, now it was all back to square one. Armaan had said such harsh things to her. He hadn't ever been this cruel before. Some part of her couldn't believe that the past 10 minutes had happened.
"Riddhima... Are you okay?" Shashank asked her, but Riddhima stood numb, still trying to process everything, especially the fact that Armaan had told her that he'd make her life Hell if she said anything to Shilpa.
"Ridzy?" Anjali called softly, to no avail.
"Riddhima... Riddhima, beta, say something," Shashank pleaded, not garnering any response from her.
Shashank, Anjali and Padma and then Muskaan and Abhi tried to talk to Riddhima, to no avail. She didn't say a word.
"Riddhima, please say something! Anything!" Shashank pleaded.
"Ummm... I think we should give her some space," Sid finally intervened. "All this has been a real shock for her and she needs some time to process. So, I'm going to take her up to her room, okay?"
He was met with murmurs of agreement, so Sid held Riddhima and supported her, walking her up. When they were in her room and the door shut was when Riddhima gave in. She clung tightly to Sid and started crying hysterically.
"Arm... Armaan!" She moaned. "I... I..."
"Shhh, it's okay, Riddhima. Relax, okay?" Sid tried to comfort her.
Sid hugged her for a while, letting her cry it all out. As the sobs subsided, Riddhima nodded off to sleep. Sid made her comfortable on the bed and sat beside her, keeping vigil.
"I'm sorry, Shilpa," Armaan apologized. "It's all my fault."
Armaan was sitting in the garden with Shilpa and Karan, trying to apologize for everything that had happened, but Shilpa wouldn't let him.
"It's not, Armaan," Shilpa replied. "I was the one who decided to tell her."
"Because I asked you to," Armaan countered.
"You didn't force me into anything, Armaan. You just expressed your opinion. I remember you categorically stating it was my choice and that you'd support whatever decision I made and not question it. It was not your fault. At all," Shilpa insisted.
"I just... I feel responsible. I never should have brought it up. Maybe Sid was right, keeping it from her for so long," Armaan lamented.
"Armaan! You were right, okay? She deserved to know. Do I wish it had gone better? Yes. Do I regret it? No. You were right. Don't sweat it," Shilpa answered.
"But..." Armaan tried to say more, but Shilpa cut her off.
"Leave it be, Armaan. I won't deny that it hurt me that she said those things to me, but now I know. I've been living life in a constant state of should I, shouldn't I and now it's done. Now, I finally know. It's so liberating. I've managed just fine all these years without her and I'll carry on now too," Shilpa told him.
"Doesn't it mean anything that she treated you so badly?" Armaan asked.
"Of course it does, Armaan! I absolutely hate that she spoke to me that way. And it hurts so much. I just... I... It hurts, okay? It hurts a lot. But... I sort of don't blame her. I'm the daughter of the man who abandoned her and her mother. Her being so disgusted with me isn't that far fetched an idea, is it?" Shilpa asked rhetorically.
"But, it's not your fault!" Armaan shouted.
Shilpa laughed without humour. "For her, it might as well be. Just... Leave it be, okay? I'll stay with Karan as long as I'm here and I'll keep my distance during wedding functions. It'll be fine."
Karan nodded emphatically. Shilpa was his best friend. He cared about her and she needed him now.
"You're... You're leaving?" Armaan asked, shocked.
Shilpa shrugged. "I don't have another choice, do I?" She asked.
"You can't!" Armaan cried.
"Armaan, it'll be awkward if we're both under the same roof," Shilpa said.
"I don't know. You're here for the wedding, so you're not leaving this house. I've already told Riddhima that she needs to keep her distance. She knows better than to cross me," Armaan replied.
"Armaan..." Shilpa tried to speak, to reason with him, but he didn't let her say anything.
"No, Shilpa. You're my friend. I invited you. That means you stay here. And, as much as you deny it, I still feel this is all my fault, so it's my responsibility to make everything right. You don't have to worry about it," Armaan insisted.
"Okay, fine! I can't win with you, anyway," Shilpa answered.
"Great! So you're staying!" Armaan cheered.
Shilpa nodded.
"I... I need some time alone, so I'll just be in your room, okay?" Shilpa asked.
"Of course! Anything you need," Armaan agreed readily.
Shilpa passed Armaan and Karan a fake smile, which they both caught on, but didn't say anything, and went inside the house.
"I'm really worried," Armaan said once she'd gone in.
"I am too," Karan sighed. "But we'll support her in any way we can and we'll be there for her through it all. She's a tough girl. She'll be okay."
"I really hope you're right, Karan. I really hope so," Armaan murmured, wishing with all his might, that Shilpa come out of this on top.
_______________________________________________________
Chapter Song : Daughters, John Mayer
Hope you guys liked it! Please vote and comment and let me know! :)
Love, Prags