Despite my protests, my mom made me return to school on Tuesday. My shoulder was starting to feel better, but everything else still hurt.
I sat at the kitchen table trying to force myself to eat as a nervous pit formed in my gut. Memories of my conversation with Juliet swelled in my brain and kept me from thinking about anything else. But I had to suppress them, push the thoughts to the deepest corner of my brain. My mind couldn't process them anyway, so I had to stop trying.
"Dash, we have to get going," my mom said gently. She was going to drive me to school that day since my arm was still in the sling.
"Why can't I stay home one more day?" I grumbled, dumping my bowl of uneaten cereal into the sink.
"I told you already," Mom said. "We're meeting with the school counselor today."
I tugged at my hair, feeling the urge to tear it all out. Because of my alleged fainting spell on Friday, the school counselor requested a meeting with me and my parents. Percy, of course, would not be in attendance, but my mom was determined to go work this all out.
"Dash, don't make this difficult," she said before I could edge a word in. "Mr. Dougherty drove you to the hospital, so the least you can do is cooperate."
"Whatever," I muttered, grabbing my backpack. "Let's just go."
When we got to school, my mom parked the car and followed me inside. Another reason I was particularly bitter about this appointment was because it just had to be scheduled during first period. I knew an encounter with Juliet would likely not go well, but I needed to at least see her. Seeing her face felt like it would solve all my problems, show me that I still knew who she was.
"Mrs. Mayer, Dash, welcome," Mr. Dougherty said chipperly when my mom knocked on his office door. He reached over his desk and shook Mom's hand, saying, "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Mayer."
"Dakota," she corrected him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, too."
"Alright, Dakota, Dash, you can call me Gabe," he told us. "Please, take a seat."
I withheld a snort as I sat down in a chair beside my mom. I had never been to the counselor's office before. It was just as one might imagine, decked out in inspirational quote posters, scented candles, and colorful pillows. Gabe was a young guy, probably not much older than me. He was scrawny under his multicolored plaid dress shirt and tight gray pants. He looked like the guys I used to push around after school to impress girls. Needless to say, it was going to be difficult to take him seriously.
"Dash, how's the shoulder?" Gabe asked, clasping his hands on the desk and gazing at me with intense concern.
"It's alright," I replied curtly. I really wanted to get this meeting over with as quickly as possible.
"Good, well, I hope it's healing quickly," he said with an awkward chuckle.
"He had a past injury, so it'll take some time for it to fully recover," Mom said.
That's none of his business, I thought bitterly. I hated talking about my injury, but it was coming up a lot lately.
"Right, last year during football season," Gabe said, reading something off a clipboard and making a quick mark with his pen. "So anyway, I'm really glad you two made it in today. I just thought we should have a chat after Friday's events. Whenever something serious happens at school, I like to follow up and see how the student is doing."
"The student is fine," I muttered, slouching in the chair. I didn't intend to say that out loud, but it came out anyway.
"Dash," Mom snapped under her breath. "We really appreciate how much you care," she then said to Gabe in a much warmer tone. I rolled my eyes.
"I do have a few questions for you, Dash," Gabe went on, ignoring my obvious disinterest. "Some people have noticed that you haven't been acting like yourself lately. You've apparently been sluggish and apathetic during classes, and you haven't been eating much during lunch. Would you say that these statements are true?"
I sat up then, shocked by his accusations. "Who told you all that?"
"Multiple sources," Gabe replied, keeping his voice calm.
"Harrison?" I spat, growing angrier.
"I also have reports of violent tendencies and uncontrollable temper," Gabe continued, glancing back down at that damn clipboard. I had a sudden impulse to snap it in half with my bare hands.
"That's ridiculous," I replied, shaking my head.
"I would say that all sounds true."
Feeling betrayed, I gaped at my mom. After her doting mother act that weekend, I was pissed that she would rat me out like that. Then again, she never had an idealized image of me like other parents did of their children, so I shouldn't have been surprised. Still, I didn't think she would give in to Gabe's wannabe psychiatric session.
"How long have you been noticing this?" Gabe asked, now directing his question to my mom like I wasn't in the room.
Mom sighed, showing some difficulty speaking about it. "Well, very much so the past week or two," she said. "But he's gone through spells like this in the past."
"Could you specify a little better what his behavior has been like?"
"He stays up all night, skips meals, loses his temper quickly. He's always had an anger problem. That's something that runs in the family. I don't think he's been doing any schoolwork, which he's usually very good about. He's just not himself right now."
I listened but felt detached, like I was watching a scene from a movie. Hearing my mom say all that disheartened me. I knew my recent behavior worried her, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Now, it was clear that she thought I had a serious problem.
"Do you know what triggered this behavior?" Gabe asked next.
"Well, partly," Mom said. She looked at me with a questioning expression, as if seeking my permission to go on. I remained straight-faced. "I just think he has a lot going on right now."
I felt relieved, grateful that she showed some respect for my privacy. I didn't need Gabe knowing every last detail about my personal life, especially my situation with Juliet. That certainly wouldn't get him off my back any faster.
"Well, that's understandable," he said, finally looking back at me. "It's a stressful time of year, especially for seniors. That being said, we definitely need to take action and stop this behavior before it gets worse."
Gabe gazed at me for what felt like several minutes. All I did was stare back blankly, unsure what he wanted from me. It was like he was trying to read my mind to figure out what was wrong with me. It's not that easy, Gabe.
"What do you suggest?" Mom asked, forcing Gabe to tear his eyes away from me.
"Well, there's only so much you or I could do," he replied. "That's why I think you should go see a therapist."
"What?" I asked. My voice sounded foreign in my ears, dry and monotonous.
"While I will gladly do anything I can to help you myself, I think this would be in your best interest," Gabe said in a flat, almost clinical voice. "With college decisions and end-of-the-year stress bringing many students into my office every day, I just don't know if I can devote the time you really need from me."
"What exactly does he need?" Mom asked, sounding hesitant.
"I'm not suggesting he needs anything specific," he replied, dodging the question. "I just think talking through his thoughts with a professional will help him sort everything out."
Mom and I exchanged a glance, her eyes filled with sorrow, mine with fear. I didn't believe Gabe, but I knew I was going to have to comply anyway. It wasn't fair that I was stuck looking like a lunatic while Harrison, a total sociopath, walked free.
"I called a friend of mine over the weekend to see if we could work something out," Gabe continued when neither of us spoke. "She's willing to meet with you tomorrow after school, as long as you both agree."
Gabe watched as we wordlessly communicated. I allowed Mom to read my mind, openly releasing my thoughts through my eyes. She nodded, fighting the frown that was tugging at her lips.
"Alright," Mom said, speaking for both of us. "We'll be there."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried to catch Juliet after school that day, but she was nowhere to be found. Though I stalled as long as possible before leaving, my mom was impatient and bitter about needing to leave work early to pick me up, so I had to go. I had told her I didn't mind finding a ride or taking the bus, but she insisted on driving me. She was still going to complain about it, though. Begrudgingly, I left the building and located her car.
"Jeez, Dash, what took you so long?" Mom asked when I got in, barely allowing me to close the door before she drove off.
"Sorry, God," I mumbled, resting my head against the window as I felt exhausted.
She glanced over at me, her mood instantly shifting. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Fine," I said, shutting my eyes. "Just want to go home."
As soon as we got to the house, I went up to my room to lie down for a while. I knew I needed to start working on the mountain of schoolwork I had accumulated, but my head was pounding, and my bed was extremely inviting.
Despite my exhaustion, I didn't sleep long. A combination of stress and noise from downstairs woke me up. Unable to force myself back to sleep, I decided to get up and make some coffee instead. That was always the next best option when I couldn't fall asleep.
As I approached the bottom of the stairs, I paused, listening to the voices drifting out of the kitchen.
"Therapy? Christ, Dakota, what were you thinking?"
"Percy, please. The counselor said this is what's best for him. He's not okay. He needs help."
"So, what, he's stressed. Big deal. I'm not paying someone to sit there and talk to him."
"Dash needs help. It's more than just stress."
"What he needs is to get his shit together. He can't keep screwing up like this."
"Percy, how could you say that?"
My fists clenched at my sides. I was well aware that my father was an asshole, and I learned a long time ago that he wasn't going to coddle me. I had accepted that. But the way he talked to my mom sometimes made my blood boil. They would get into screaming matches over lots of things, but that day, she was quiet, which only made it worse.
I walked into the kitchen, and they fell silent, watching me closely. While Mom's eyes were full of emotion, my father looked irritated, as if my mere presence was an inconvenience to him. I often questioned what my mom saw in him. Maybe he had changed over the years, hardened by work, but I didn't get why she stayed with him now.
"Dash, how did you sleep?" Mom asked, straining her voice to sound normal.
"Alright," I replied. "I just came down to make some coffee."
Percy snorted but said nothing. I simply ignored him as I started preparing a cup.
"Your appointment is at four-thirty tomorrow," she told me, lowering her voice. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee or a snack when I pick you up after school?"
"Sounds good, Mom," I said, smiling weakly at her.
The three of us stood there in silence as my coffee brewed. Once it was done, I took the cup and left the room, glaring at my father until he was out of sight.
+++
A/N: hi! thanks for reading. comment/vote if you're enjoying the story!