Tuesday, the worst day ever. In every way it's possible to be.
I had maths, crafts (for two hours straight), spanish, chemistry and music's class. I hate every single one of them, everyhing else is cool.
The whole school day was so stressing and anxious it drove me insane.
I haven't talked to Even for two days. No calls, no messages, nothing. I didn't blow his phone up with everything because i didn't want to be too "desperate", or seem to be.
But today, everything turned upside down.
I was walking to home from bus stop with Jonas, who decided to come over. I didn't mind.
"I still can't believe that Magnus and Vilde are officially together." Jonas said.
"Me neither", i laughed.
Jonas kept talking about them, and i barely listened to him. Not that i wouldn't care about it, i truly do. Magnus was my best friend, and Vilde was just Vilde. They were still the hottest topic in our school. Basic boy and popular girl falls in love with each other, sounds like a perfect love story.
"Isn't that Even?" Jonas asked.
That woke me up from my thoughts. It was Even. He was standing right in front of his house with Sonja, talking about something. We didn't hear them, but it looked like they were fighting.
"It is."
What the fuck was he doing with Sonja? How did they end up here together? I had lots of questions in my head.
We just stood there, and watched them. Then something unexpected happened.
They kissed. Even hesitated at first, but then the kiss turned out being passionate as hell. I felt like passing out, it was so unbelievable.
It didn't took long for the tears to start rolling down my cheeks, and i hated it. I didn't want to be weak because of him. I just couldn't.
"We're going to end this. Now." Jonas brought me back from my dark thoughts.
My eyes widened as soon as i realized what was going on. I knew that Jonas wasn't violent barely never, but when it came to his friend he could be if it was needed.
"No, Jonas!" I tried to pull him back desperately from going, but it was already too late.
He walked straight to them, and grabbed Even by his arm. He pulled him away from Sonja, which caused them to look at Jonas confusedly. I wanted to walk closer to them but i couldn't move myself. I totally froze.
"Get your tongue out of her throath right fucking now." I heard Jonas yelling to Even.
Even and Sonja hadn't noticed me yet, but they would probably soon. Or maybe they were too into in their little romantic moment so they wouldn't.
I wasn't even close to them, but i could barely hear what they were talking. Or better, what Jonas was talking about.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, huh?" Jonas kept talking.
I closed my eyes and pretended to be in a bad nightmare, but when i opened them i soon realized that this all was very, very real. This is my reality.
"Look, Jonas. Don't tell Isak anything about this. He would just be upset and sad and -"
"Too late", i said quietly.
They all turned to look at me, as the silent tears kept rolling down from my eyes. I felt horrible and betrayed just by looking at Even. I was also dissapointed which his actions had caused.
"Isak, let me explain-" He tried to talk to me.
I didn't listen.
"No. I really don't want to hear your excuses right now." I started and raised my other hand for a sign that he should stop talking.
And he did. There was an actual silent moment between us all, while they were still staring at me. I felt like a powerful bitch that could do and say anything she'd like to without regretting it later.
"I know. You didn't mean it and you're in love with me, right? Well, guess what. If you're in love with someone you don't go around giving your thing up or kissing others, you're supposed to be fucking loyal to that person. You weren't this time." I spoke myself up.
Jonas looked at me with an "wow" - expression on his face, while Even and Sonja both turned their glances away from me.
"So, Even Bech Næsheim. Please, get your shit together. Decide." I let it all finally out.
He was shocked and clearly speechless as i stared at him straight to his beautiful eyes. For a second i thought that i would fall apart right in front of him, which was pretty close, but i didn't.
Without saying a word i left them, and started walking towards my house. Jonas was still following me.
"Do you want to be alone for a while?" He asked as we reached my houses
door.
"Yeah", i nodded and opened the door.
I left him standing outside, as i waved him goodbyes and closed the door. I leaned myself against the door, took a couple deep breaths and closed my eyes. I was so hurt that i even felt it on my chest and my stomach and it was horrible.
There wasn't anyone home, which was great because i didn't want to cause any problems or worries to anyone.
"Dear diary,
Today was the worst day ever. Even and Sonja kissed, right in front of mine and Jonas' faces.
Just like that. Like i didn't mean anything to him ever, and maybe i never did actually.
Maybe from time to time, but i thought he wanted and needed me. Apparently i was wrong, like always. But i can't blame myself for not trusting on him, because he had a chance to earn my trust and he fucked it up. And God, i'm so in love with him and i would take him back any second.
- Isak 1.9.2016"
I decided to watch Netflix, so i walked to our living room and turned the TV on. I ended up watching Gossip Girl until it was already dark outside without realizing how fast the time had passed by.
Even had blowed up my phone straight for hours trying to apologize, but i didn't answer to any of his messages. It was way too hard.
But one person reached me out. It was Magnus.
Magnusss-bro: Jonas told me about what happened with Even.
Me: Okay?
Magnusss-bro: Sooo are you OK?
Me: Well, if being honest no...
Magnusss-bro: Oh.
Magnusss-bro: In that case i sure will beat his ass up :))
Magnusss-bro: Nobody gets to hurt my bruddas !
Me: Nooooo Magnus!
Me: It's fine. Just let him be.
Magnusss-bro: I don't promise anything :)
Magnusss-bro: But if you want to talk sometimes, remember that you can always hit me up.
Me: Yeah, sure.
Me: Thanks bro <33
Magnusss-bro: Always, brudda!
Magnus may be a little bit stupid sometimes, but he truly cares about his friends. I appreciate that more than anything in this world.
Tomorrow is a school day, and i have to go. We have biology's test coming soon, so i have to be on class everytime i can.
...