"Kim Jennie !! Can you hear me ?! Wake up!"
Oh.. That voice sound kind of familiar. Looks like I fainted... I can't even feel my feet. My head feels like it's going to fall. How the hell did I end up like that ?
Wait. I remember.
It was supposed to be a good day.
I don't want a boy I need a man.
It is december, a really busy month for Jennie. The first reason is because she lives for shopping and runs a marathon whenever there are sales. The second one is because she absolutly wants to buy presents for everyone because christmas is happening. And the last and most important reason is that she has to buy the most perfect gift for his birthday.
She is already delighted just by thinking about getting those presents.
After a entire week of training, she managed to free her weekend far from the YG building. She didn't called the girls to accompany her, she wanted to breath some fresh air by spending some time alone. All she desires right now, is to forget that she's a trainee.
She enters the mall and feels a blast of warm air from the heater hugging her like hearty welcome.
It almost feels like a family reunion with my favourite shops !
She already start to feel better. She offers a huge smile to every shop assistant that are welcoming her and sense, touch, examine every product that comes to her hands.
Before dealing with his gift, she first purchased all of her friends and family gifts so she could feel more relieved. It's already 8pm. After running around with a running nose and hurting feet she decides to enter a videogame store. She perfectly knows his taste, even thought they're not similar at all. The fact that he was two years younger than her made it difficult but she loves him anyway. She knows that he plays videogames a lot although she hates it. She was really not familiar with stores like that.
"Jennie noona ? Is that you ?"
She turns so see who it is. She has no idea who that could be and the mask that he is wearing does not help her. He steps closer making her feel small due to his tall height compared to hers. She try to identify who that tall guy is by focusing on his eyes.
"Chanwoo ?"
He takes off the mask and reveals the smiling face of Chan.
"Yup. You guessed it correctly."
"Of course , you have very unique eyes I could recognise them anywhere."
"..You think so ?"
Wow, and that's the girl who has the most gorgeous eyes who says that.
I'm so glad to see her here, I couldn't find her anywhere this week, feels like an endlessly long time without talking to her. She kept telling me how busy she was and didn't give any attention to me lately.
That was quite easy to notice her since she's the only one here looking like a lost puppy. She looks happier than last time. Good thing.
"What are doing here ?"
"What do you think I'm doing ? I'm here to buy a videogame."
He frowned, remembering what she said last time when he offered her to play his favorite game with him.
" I thought you hated that."
"I do. I'm here to buy a gift."
" Alright then.. do you perhaps need any help ?"
"No. I'm fine."
She says, obviously lying. When it comes to shopping she's a complete different person, no distractions are allowed.
"If you say so..."
She smiles at him and waves her hand to indicate him to pursue what he was doing and moves towards a filled section.
Don't mind me, Chanwoo, I don't want you to waste your time and drag you around. You'll get sick of it, real quick.
And.. you already have done so much for me.
He leaves her as she wishes but not too far so he can still have a look on her.
She starts looking at the products in front of her but notices a sudden vibration coming from her pocket. She takes out her phone and gasps at the name showed on the screen.
"Seo Jun-ah ! How are you doing ?"
" Jennie..."
His voice seemed unusually bitter.
"What ? Are you sick ? "
"No, Jennie I-"
"I told you to take care of yourself !"
"Jennie, stop! You're not my mom."
"But I'm worried, that's the most that I can do from thousands miles away from you."
"I know but sometimes it's just annoying how you behave, I'm not a kid."
She sighs, he has been quite harsh on her lately and she is really not in the mood for picking a fight right now.
"Anyway... Let's talk later, I am searching for your gift."
"You're buying me something again ?!"
"I can't ?"
"Jennie, we're not together anymore. You broke up with me before going to Korea. Why you're still sending me gift ? Listen. I liked you, you were the only one back then.. but since you're gone, everything changed, I changed. You are too busy with all your training and I can't buy a flight to visit you, we can't keep acting like we're still a couple. I can't wait here forever until you come back because I know you will not."
His words crash into her heart like sharped fragments of glass. Tears are already flowing her upon her cheeks.
What he says is painfully... true. She knew that she couldn't maintain such relationship but even if she left to pursue her dreams her heart is still with Seo Jun. She kept on buying him stuff and calling him because she wasn't prepared to cut him off.
"Buying gifts does not necessarily make us a couple! Why are you even upset ? You're may not my boyfriend anymore but I am allowed to care about you."
"Jennie stop. I think it's time for both of us to move on."
"You don't even want us to friend ?"
"I recently met a girl. I like her and I think she likes me too. I can't accept your gifts and call you every night like I used to. I think it's better to stop being in touch with you-"
She abruptly hangs up, his voice is too difficult to bear. Seo Jun is the first boy she has ever loved. At the time, she was quite tought with him, she said that she would never accept someone younger than her but he was so persistant that she ended loving him back, putting her pride aside. Now that he announces something like that she feels awfully betrayed.
Why did he have to call now... I was looking foward to send him that present.
She can't handle her tears and her longing for breaking things around her grows ever more strongly thinking about each moment they spend together being replaced with that new girl.
I need to get out of here, there is no point for me to stay.
She suddenly bumps into someone.
"What ? You finally decided to ask me for help ?"
"C-Chanwoo.."
She didn't dare move from his chest and muffles her crying in his coat.
"Jennie you..?"
She can't find any strenght to say something to him, her tears are too suffocating.
I don't want you to look at me right now...
People around them start to look on them as they were looking like a displayed couple. He immediatly takes her shopping bags that looked quite heavy and brings her somewhere less crowded.
He makes her sit on a bench, outside, far from the eye of the public. Her eyes are still tearful but she definately feels more at ease than earlier.
He doesn't know what to say. He has never seen her like that and he does not like it.
What am I supposed to do in that kind of situation ?! She looks so down... and her nose is turning red, she must be freezing. That's my fault.
After a long minute staring at her, he stands up.
"Wait a minute, I'll be right back."
She soundlessly nods.
He walks away really fast, almost runs. After a few minutes, he comes back with two cups in his hands, walks quickly and tries his best to not drop any of their drinks. He hands her one the cups.
"It's hot cocoa."
"Thank you... You didn't have to do that."
"I didn't want you to die because of me."
She smiles at his silly comment and takes a tiny sips of the warm drink. She smiles again.
"Chanwoo-yah."
"What ?"
"It's too sweet."
"No it's not."
"Yes is it."
"Hot cocoa is supposed to be sweet."
"Too much for my liking. Go buy me another one."
"Noona, I put my life on the line for that hot chocolate, I ran like an idiot, can't you just-"
She release a cute giggle and pat his shoulder.
"Just kidding, bud."
Finally... you're smiling.
"That's not funny."
Relieved, he start drinking the beverage too.
"The taste is perfectly fine."
She takes a sip again to double check but accidently burns herself.
"Ouch. Too hot."
"Be careful !"
She grins, amused by seeing him panic for nothing. The more she smiles, the less he feels anxious.
I hope you'll forget really fast what made you cry...
"A boy that I liked just told me that I should forget him because he found another girl."
"I didn't-"
"You didn't ask, but you really look like you wanted to."
Yeah.. you're right.
Since he didn't reply she decides to keep going.
"He's name is Seo Jun, my first love. It was already over between us but I couldn't accept it."
"The gift was for him ?"
"Yeah. First time I wanted to buy something like that. I usually buy him clothes but this time I wanted to get something he really likes, but I guess he didn't want a gift from me at all. He said he would never stop loving me when he confessed first to me, I didn't believe him of course, I rejected him and said that I would never date someone younger than me. But he confessed again. He did it everyday, until I finally said yes."
He listens to her carefully and continues to sip his cocoa quietly.
"Now that I think about it, it's not his fault... he is totally allowed to date someone else, I can't keep him hanging while I'm doing my life far from his. I'm so stupid."
"No you're not !"
He shouts after hearing her insulting herself.
Was that too loud ?
Her eyes looked down. Thoughts about him begins to invade her mind.
I wish I didn't met him. I will never date someone younger than me again. I will never date someone again. This will only gonna be work, work and work.
"You know what, Noona ?"
"What ?"
"Let's go to my favourite place, I promise it'll be fun."
"You mean right now ?"
"Yeah, let's go!"
You'll see Noona, I will get that Seo-whatever out of your head.
"But-"
She couldn't even reply that he was already pulling her arm then starts to run which obligates her to do the same.
✰ To be continued ✰ Thank you for reading this !