xii. naked art
[ giuseppe verdi - la traviata ]
JENNIE.
I had to question the reality that I was in again, and needed some rational help on how to take on what Roseanne had said in front of me. "I like you" were the only words circling in my mind. I didn't know how to deal with it, well maybe, I wanted to take it as a romantic validation of her feelings for me but we all know that only a fucking idiot would think of that. Besides, she seems not gay in this time setting. I mean. She could never be, right?
"Ah-Uhm-I-Uh-?" Nonetheless, I was still abashed. This stammering of mine was an insult to my flawless social communication skills. What the fuck are you doing to me Roseanne? I internally cried in panic as I try to escape myself from the blame. "You like 'like' me?" I still wanted clarification. My eyes were popping wide as I looked at her. She nodded with surprising calmness. "Yes. I know people like us can't have friends, but treating you as a mere associate of mine can't be enough right?" Her two fleek brows raised as if it was waiting for me to nod in agreement. Associate, I didn't know that word already existed on the Upper Class this early. Who made the rich society this obnoxious that one can't even give the simplest trust to a person easily? This is such a conceited concept.
On another note, Roseanne here didn't get what I was trying to say. Well I can't blame her, perhaps she hasn't yet discovered that girls liking girls exist. "I mean, don't you want to be friends with me?" She continued amidst the awkward silence. I blinked simultaneously as I realized how I was overthinking the situation. At least now I know what she thinks of me.
A mere friend.
Fuck that word.
I didn't know friendzone was also a trend in the 60s. It would be so great if I can just bluntly rage in front of her and say, hey i'm sorry to break it to you but our future souls have dated and fucked each other, so can't we just do the same?
Saying that would be so much better yet those words can only be expressed by thoughts. I have a secret love affair with Lisa for pete's sake! I have to compress my dwelling feelings for Roseanne or this drama would get out of hand. Even if I don't want to, I have to.
Compromise, Jen. I thought to myself as I nodded my head and flashed a smile to her, "Then friends it is."
I didn't want to acknowledge it but sadness poked my heart. I can't stop looking at her eyes and how it exactly resembled Chaeng's. It had the right glow, the right size of the orbs, and the right feeling that it gave off. I miss her. I miss my love.
...
After the stressful meeting I just had, I went back to my apartment and spent a little time in the silence. Since this morning when I woke up, I already had trouble breathing, which is why I started to panic more when Jisoo informed me that I was the fucking president of the Business Department and that I had to administrate an event for our contribution in the first week festivities. Me going back to college haven't even sink into my system yet, and now she wants me to run a whole scholastic event? Ugh. Everything in the 60s just wants me to go insane!
Thank god the Chanyeol guy, who was surprisingly the vice-president of the Music Department offered a merged event with us. My soul was saved. How ironic is this right? The fact that his face is a resemblance of a person who killed my girlfriend back in the future but now he's saving my ass from getting embarrassed. The universe always has its way of mentally torturing me.
I laid myself and spread my legs in bed as I tried meditating about the fact that this Jen is an ongoing business student who is on top of her class, goes to an ivy league school in New York, the sole president of her department, her family runs the Grand Central Station, she fucks a photographer, and also a gay who's seemingly has a bad taste in fashion.
How can I do this? I even got myself in trouble from the high society back when I was still Jennie, the heiress of Kim Telecommunications, just to escape the ever tormenting world of trade and business, and now you're telling me that I am an ace student in business class and I have to actually take Marketing & Finance again? FUCK YOU, JEN. SERIOUSLY. I don't even know if that was a cuss for myself or for the other. Ugh.
My self condemnation was paused when I heard a bang near the open veranda. I was forced bounce up my bed and go on a sitting position as my heart raced out of shock. "LISA!" I shouted in frustration as I saw her working herself up the railings. Damn this girl.
"Hey, I just got out from a photoshoot." Her smile beamed before the afternoon sunlight, as her glistening eyes met mine. Suddenly, I forgot what I was worrying before. "I bought us cookies & ice cream." Then she playfully raised her two hands that was holding one plastic bag each.
A dork. I goaded mentally. But out of nowhere my heart started palpitating. Shit. What? I looked at her smile again and I just felt blood rushing through my veins. Oh my fucking god, why do I find her so cute all of a sudden? My heart fluttered as a reddening sensation brushed through my cheeks, making me warm and pinkish. I was surprised myself. It was odd. Very odd. Lisa never makes me blush. She gets me horny. What sorcery is this?!
I decided to brush off my amusement and drive my attention to the cookies and ice cream that she was holding. Quickly, both of us rushed to the dining table and sat on upholstered bright red chairs that were facing one another. When Lisa was opening the rectangular ice cream container, which had a very sketchy brand design named Sealtest, my eyes immediately sparked familiarity between the words. "Wait." I paused as I felt my right eyebrow raising. "What?" Lisa got her hands off the container, she was bugged. "Is that really the Sealtest brand that was bought by Unilever on 1993? Which then they decided to merge it with the Good Humor frozen novelties company to establish the Good Humor-Breyers brand, which is by the way, my favorite ice cream brand of all time." My words showered out of nowhere. Unexpectedly all the homeworks I did on business school started to resurface. "Woah there! We're just here to eat the ice cream, not to discuss its historical origins." I saw her eyes popping out. "By the way, where'd you get that from?" She continued to ask as she went back to scooping the milk ice cream into our bowls.
"It was a homework from my business history class. Our professor wanted an expository timeline about Unilever and how they transformed their opulent empire through the years." I informed as a smirk sketched through my lips, remembering the sleepless nights that I had to study. "Well, I have no fucking idea what's Unilever about except that it is British." She added her say about the topic with a fading laugh following after. Is she trying to be funny? Hm.
"Are you sure you hate business school?" Her tone implied a sense of query. My forehead crunched at the same time. I was questioning myself too. I can't even remember why I managed to put all that shit into my head or maybe because I knew I had a reputation to hold up to. Pride had the best of me but it took all my happiness away at the same time.
"I don't know. Maybe?" I answered with uncertainty. " All I know is that I loved the arts. It was the only thing that ignited my passion ever since. That's why I should need to choose it over anything else." I continued to explain as my expression turned melancholic. "What's wrong?" Lisa quickly caught my change of mood. "Nothing. I just realized that I can't paint as much as I want to anymore." My sight dispensed into space as I contemplate with the fact that I have to sacrifice my artistry again. Just to compromise and blend in, and be the top business student of NYU. "Hey..." Swiftly, a warm cup of hands caressed through the sideline of my cheeks as she flexed her body a little closer to reach me across the table. "You will still continue to paint. I'll make sure of that." Then she placed a smile so re-ensuring that it made me so skittish. Unsettling. Fluttering. She made a total mess of my feelings. "Okay?" Her honey-like voice plugged through my ears. I suddenly had a hard time breathing as I can feel my heart beat ten times faster. She's supposed to get me horny, not flustered! My internal thoughts can't even figure out what was happening, yet somehow Lisa's hazel eyes were telling me that this is something I should not worry. I only need to feel it. So amidst my flabbergasted situation, I responded a smile back. "Okay. I'll remember that."
Then, we continued eating our ice cream together. The ambiance was light and comfortable. So this is what it feels like to have Lisa as a girlfriend. So safe. So lovely. I didn't knew vanilla tasted this good before. Maybe because Sealtest ice creams are just great or maybe because of the thought that Lisa made my heart flutter, for the first time.
I can barely decide.
LISA.
Nightfall canopied the feeble hanging streetlights of Greenwich Village. Another cascade of colored affairs for the townspeople to engage in. Such an interesting appeal to join in but I figured out Jen would prefer being indoors, which is why I was going to surprise her and give her a studio with a fixating moonlight shining outside a gigantic window pane as it reveals the mystique scenery of the dark cornered room to life. "You ready?" I was holding her right hand, guiding her into an open alley with a metal door located in the middle of the congested brick walls. She muffled a laugh under her luscious lips, "What am I getting ready for?"
"This." My other free hand held the door knob and with the right force, I pushed it to reveal what's inside. My heart was racing because I've been so agitated all day thinking whether if she'll like my surprise or not. Now, that I have finally let her see what I was preparing, I couldn't help but feel nervous.
We entered into the open studio that featured high ceilings, bricked walls, a vintage window pane, and a sealed white flooring. An easel with a blank canvas stood along with a stool chair with all the painting supplies that I bought. At the center corner was a red couch, it was an extra furniture piece from the place. I wanted to keep because it gave an accent to the place's black and white aesthetic.
I heard Jen gasped in awe. "This is insane!" I felt a sense of relief as she giddily looked around. Thank god she liked it. A smile from her declared my triumph. I gave her a minute to take it all in. Seeing her being all happy and giddy made my heart soft. She deserves to feel this way everyday, it's just sad to think that I can't prevent her from the pain of reality. All I could do is make everyday worth living for the next.
"Hey, Lisa. Come." She called me as she was sitting on the wooden stool near the canvas. I was still instilling her lovely voice into my memory because honestly I like my name better in her voice.
"Do you need anything?" I stood beside her tilting my head low to see her face. "See that blank canvas?" Her eyes directed my vision to the empty white sheet standing in the easel. I nodded and said yes.
"I want to fill it." Her voice became low and hazy as if it was a caress, then she continued "I want to paint a portrait of you." Her words left me on the edge. I gulped. I am in no shape to be a muse of a painting and yet here is Jen offering me to be one of her artworks. I blinked simultaneously before shakily saying, "Okay."
"Go near the couch." She prompted with seriousness. I quickly moved myself, and sat myself at the center part of the red sofa. "Is this fine?" I know that question deserved a "no" answer since my body was slouching, my head was switching directions and my feet were constantly stomping the ground. It was awkward. I didn't know what to fucking do. "Wait." She suddenly walked into me and faced her head down as I met her gaze from above.
Then, she unexpectedly lowered her head to face me closer. Her hot breath sneered through my face. She moved intricately like a seductive snake, and honestly it gravely teased me on the inside. "What do you want?" I managed to whisper the question that was needed to be answered. She started touching me by the shoulder and continued through my arms. Her eyes sizzling with passion, "I..." She broke her sentence as she kissed me without permission. Our lip contact had depth. "Want..." She muttered between her kisses. She began to sneak her hands through my leather jacket, she was already touching the cleavage under my white shirt. The sexiness tingled my ears and my being. Fuck. "You..." She continued uttering. Jen's voice was so delicate and sensual I started to lose my self control in the process. She kissed me closer as she slightly licked my lips with her tongue before finally saying, "...naked."
"I want you naked" I felt my soul shiver down from her words. Right then and there I realized I was already turned on, but when the time came that I wanted more of her, she then decided to take a step backward. Her shoulders crossed. Eyes staring down. Lips filled with my wet flavor. "Strip down for me." Jen's husky voice provoked in command and with no hesitation I followed her like I was in a trance.
One by one I took all of my clothing that covered my body as our eye contact stayed between us. The carnal vigor claimed my system and drowned it into lust. I was already naked and she told me to just lay down on the couch and watch her paint me.
Damn this girl left me frustatedly wet after fucking me with kisses. Now, I have no choice but to stay still and painfully wait until she finish. She knows how to play dirty, alright.
...
Guess what, a fucking hour has passed and she was still painting and I'm still sexually bothered. Her distant gaze towards me just urges back my need to touch her. "Hey, can I say something?" I finally spoke out in the open silence. Her cat-like eyes met mine, "Anything." She shortly answered.
With my carnal desires as motivation, I muttered, "I want to see you naked too." There, I've said it.
She paused, but her intense stare was still on me. It resonated power. "Well, you didn't need to say that..." Jen's voice sounded more seductive under the moonlight. She stood up. "I was going to undress anyway."
She was on full view as she carefully loosen the ribbon that was tied to her waist. My body trembled under her physique magnificence. Then she unzipped the back of her dress and as it loosened, her sharp shoulders and collarbones stirred my desires for her deeper. I have to admit, I was loosing my temper.
Jen slid down her dress all the way through her naked body. Now, her undergarments were the only ones blocking the view. I was already biting my lips and pressing my thighs too much. I knew I had to take action.
So I rocketed up from my seat, because I couldn't handle it anymore. I moved closer to her. "Let me help you with that." I quickly stole a kiss from Jen and immersed myself with her warm body. My hands quickly took off her bra, as our mouths slowly opened asking each for entrance. My tongue finally slid in as I savored her dainty flavors. Now the moanings of Jen filled the spacious empty studio. It was nothing but music to my ears.
The fumes of the atmosphere were sultry, provocative and engaging. The ideal environment to fuck someone. ""Come here." My eagerness to claim her drove through my hormones, I placed both of my arms around her thighs and carried her up. I can feel her wet core on my skin drenching underneath her underwear. I can't wait to devour all that juice.
Ferociously, I kissed her voluptuous breasts which was freely hanging on both sides. Licking it with great determination. We then proceeded to the red couch and laid myself on top of her, she was sweating already. It was still sexy though. I wasted no time, I claimed her lips again as I sneaked my hands down her torso.
"Agh!" Jen moaned again as my hands traveled beneath her underwear. I was caressing her wet clit while planting marks from her jawline down to her elongated neck. After that, our eyes met again then Jennie followed her hand underneath her underwear and down to her clit. She placed her hand on top of mine. "Let me teach you how to pleasure me." Jen's erotic whisper took away all my senses. I was all hers at that moment. Her hands told me how to rub her clit the right way. Slowly, we kneaded it together in an up-and-down pattern, and pressed one finger harder at the center to tease the inside. Jen tilted her head backwards as my hand rubbed her core a little bit faster, she did a little bit of thrusting motion to counter the rubbing movement. Our hands were in circular motions now, stroking it faster than before. "Fuck!" My girlfriend whimpered hard under my touch, and I couldn't help but smile. Her wet juices were already scattered around her core, it'll not be long enough to make her cum.
I thrusted my hands a bit faster against her core, giving her the heat and pressure she needed for a release. "Fuck, I'm coming!" Jen's restless groan provoked me to suddenly stop. I put my hand away from her clit and quickly took her underwear away. She groaned in frustration, "Why did you stop?!"
I just gave her a quick kiss with tongue in response. Now I can see the full view of the drenching core that she has, it was reddish and it was swelling. It looked like it was calling for someone to fuck it right. Jen was having a hard time opening her legs because the sensation was too pleasuring. So I held her legs with both of my arms as I positioned myself properly between her lovely core.
I made my way down to her clit. The smell of her juices made my core wet as well. "I'm gonna fuck you right, baby." I moaned these words as we locked eyes. My tongue then proceeded to do its duty. I didn't expect this night would be this vigorous and alluring. I'm not complaining though. How could I when I'm right in the middle of eating Jen?