CLAWS OF GUILT AND CORROSIVE LOATHING FILLED HER MIND AND DROWNED HER HEART. There was nothing more that could describe the state Zinnia found herself in following the letters that spelled the failure she felt she was. The hours following the confirmation of her letters were spent in solitude, scarcely leaving her room or even prying herself away from the comforter of her bed, running over her failures one after the other inside her head.
Sleep was a concept that evaded her grasp, and the sinking pit of guilt and despair inside of her made the merest idea of eating a difficult one to fathom. She didn't go to school the following morning, or the rest of the week. She only emerged from her room to go to the hospital to visit her mother every day, and give Seiya the grave news. She adorned the most simple and unobtrusive set of jeans and hooded jumper as she could, combined with a paperboy hat to try and hide the regrowth of her hair from showing as painfully.
It didn't seem to matter to the man, who sat silently behind his desk, staring down at the stack if papers she had passed him with nothing more than a simple glance over.
After what felt close to a minutes silence, Seiya dropped the papers to the desktop with little care and redirected his gaze towards her.
'Did you read the papers thoroughly?' He questioned her.
A trick question?
No, perhaps not.
Zinnia nodded in response, albeit hesitantly.
That answer appeared to meet Seiya's expectations by the faint breath that escaped him.
'I would recommend you ignore the results you received from Shiketsu and Ketsubutsu, entirely.' Seiya stated seriously, and without even casting Zinnia a glance, he promptly sent the pages through the shredder at his desk. 'While they do not exactly specify any true opinion, the copy of your results sent to me as the person who recommended you through scholarship, the results are far different.'
And a second later, he promptly pulled a stack of papers from within the top drawer of his desk and slid them across the desk towards her.
Gingerly, Zinnia lifted the pages and looked down at the strikingly different set of pages that had Seiya's name outlined right at the top.
ATTENTION:
Dr Seiya Ataru
Head Surgeon
Hosu General Hospital
Re: Scholarship Route Recommendation, Kennedy Zinnia.
Dear Sir/Madam,
In follow-up procedures pending the application of one Kennedy Zinnia for the scholarship route of the Hero Course for Shiketsu High School, we are writing to you to inform you that the applicant of your recommendation has failed to meet the minimum standards for any successful applicant, let alone the requirements necessary for the scholarship program.
Further more, your applicants performance has raised many concerns with our board of examiners, those of which we have neglected to advise Kennedy Zinnia as per our procedural protocols.
Not only does Kennedy Zinnia's quirk pose a severe health hazard to themselves and others, we cannot overlook the psychological trauma exposure to the applicant's quirk can cause in the unlikely chance that they become accepted as a certified hero in the future.
Further more, we also believe upon observation that the applicant's psychological condition is greatly unstable for any healthy teenager of their age, and in combination with their quirk, we believe quirk counselling and monthly psychological evaluation at an institution must be given to ensure that the applicant does not stray off the path towards villainous activities.
This applicant is in severe danger of their own creation, and this must be rectified as soon as possible.
Please see the enclosed overview of the recommend applicant's performance, and do not hesitate to call if you have any further enquiries.
Sincerely,
Souda Toru
Acting Guidance Counselor
Shiketsu High School
Zinnia stared wordlessly at the paper as her mind reeled on the startling contrast between the letter sent to her, and the one in her own grip. What was worse was the fact that the letter from Ketsubutsu was far more specific, claiming that she was undeniably a villain in the making, and that they could not condone the application of such a student unless severe psychological clearance had been given by accredited psychologists, by which point she would be well into her third year of high school.
'I have read all the reviews and watched all the provided footage into your performances in the exams themselves.' Seiya began as he leaned forward to lift the pages from Zinnia's grip, and promptly deposited them into the shredder. 'I, as a certified physician in the industry, do not believe that these evaluations accurately depict the amount of demand such a quirk as your own and your current volunteer efforts place upon you, nor do I believe the schools in particular truly read the letter of referral I sent along with your scholarship applications. It's unfortunate, but it simply means that more stock was placed in misconceptions than facts. That is no fault of your own.'
Zinnia let out a faint breath as she nodded.
'So, they're just doing what my current school is...?' Zinnia asked.
'Yes, I believe so.' He agreed without hesitation. 'Yuuei on the other hand failed you purely because you were in ill condition and missed the written assessment, nothing more. According to the information I have been provided, you have been ranked 39th out of over seven thousand in the practical assessment. That is no small feat, but unfortunately not good enough for the hero course, or the scholarship, written assessment not withstanding.'
Zinnia inclined her head forward in a nod.
'Additionally, no concerns were placed over your quirk or your psychological stability, and they have expressed that should circumstances lead to some students dropping out of the hero course, those next in line on the list would reconsidered as transferees.'
'But I can't expect my parents to foot the fees!' Zinnia practically squeaked out. 'Even just the general studies course is something I ca--'
'Kennedy-san.' Seiya interrupted her sternly. 'That's of no concern right now.'
Shakily, Zinnia bit her lip and gave just the smallest nod in understanding.
It was a few seconds later that Seiya let out a breath and leaned back in his office chair.
'You're undoubtedly tired.' He suggested as he turned his gaze upon the clock on the wall. 'Have you been in to visit your mother, yet?'
Wordlessly, Zinnia shook her head.
'In that case, I suggest you go home and get some rest after you've seen her.' Seiya continued. 'We will continue this discussion tomorrow.'
And with that final word on the matter, all Zinnia could do was hesitantly lift herself out of her seat and excused herself for the day.
The gnawing guilt and pit of writhing doubts hung like a haze of mist over her, obscuring the very ability to think rationally from her grasp.
All that successfully sunk in on her through that whole discussion was that Ketsubutsu and Shiketsu had both expressed their views and apparent expectations of her development to a villain. It was all she could focus on, that overhanging expectation that no matter how much good she did with her quirk, her very nature was expressed in the sheer foundations of her quirk itself; Blood, death, villainous intentions. Even as she left to purchase a suitable bouquet of flowers for Kali, it was all that circulated her mind.
A vibrant décor of floral reds, golds and purples sat nestled in Zinnia's grip as she returned, with the sheer size of the bouquet of flowers itself large enough to obscure the most immediate view of Zinnia's person from notice. She walked numbly as she returned to the hospital, to the long-term patient's ward just off from the emergency ward. Her brow was creased with the downwards spiral of her thoughts. She paused for just a moment at the nurses station to collect one of the many plastic vases that were stored in one of the cupboards before she continued on her way.
As she walked, the sounds of a heart-rate monitor flat-lining met her ears, combined with the sounds of one of the trauma surgeons on the floor announcing the time of death. Nurses and interns rushed in their duties, scarcely sparing her more than a fleeting glance as they moved on to try and save the next life that wound up dragged in on a gurney.
Blood and death. It felt like that was all her life was chalked up to.
It felt like that was the only semblance of reality that she would ever be graced with.
The corridor that lead to the room that Kali was staying in for the foreseeable future was empty, and the only sounds that permeated the silent air was that of Zinnia's footsteps upon the linoleum floor, and familiar, albeit unpleasant voice hanging lowly in the air. She hesitated as she came to a halt at the door, with the vase of flowers held carefully in her grip, and her right arm lifted as if she were about to slide the door open.
Claudia's voice filtered faintly enough where the tone and sentiment carried through the gaps of the sliding door, though the words themselves were lost. Agitation, impatience and spite were all present in the tones, and it brought Zinnia to grit her teeth as she tried to will herself to make a decision.
Like a looming shadow, Zinnia's youngest sister had been here ever since Kali's collapse, allowing those of her own choosing into the room, and keeping everyone else out. Therefore, it stood to reason that Zinnia hadn't been able to so much as see how Kali was doing ever since her sister had essentially moved into the hospital room.
As the seconds ticked by and Claudia's voice grew a little louder, Zinnia took a deep breath and hesitantly knocked against the wooden surface of the door.
There was no apparent response, however, Claudia's voice suddenly cut off, before the sounds of heavy footsteps lead towards the door. She flinched as the door was harshly slid aside to reveal Claudia's recognizable form clad in a black halter-top and shorts in spite of the winter season. Her much larger frame blocked Zinnia's view of inside the room almost entirely, and the disgusted sneer across the female's face held obvious contempt.
'Oh, it's the Vampire bitch.' Claudia barked out bitterly. 'Finally decided to get off your ass and cure my mom, have you? Or are you just here to stink up the room with your stench?'
Zinnia's hands around the base of the vase trembled as she struggled to keep the pained wince from flashing across her face.
'I-I'm sorry, I can't--'
Zinnia didn't manage to get another word out before Claudia's expression turned venomous with vitriol.
The flowers were immediately snatched out of her grip, and before Zinnia could even comprehend what was even happening, she was struck across the face with the very bouquet she had brought with all the strength Claudia could muster. Petals and leaves flew, stems snapped, tearing skin, and the remainder of the bouquet was then shoved harshly against Zinnia's chest as she stumbled backwards from the force.
'Then get lost until you're ready to do your fucking job!' Claudia spat, before she slammed the door shut.
The pulsing, throbbing pain flaring to life across the whole left side of her face was nothing to the crushing guilt that was clawing its way over her, and unsteadily, Zinnia's silent form shuffled to a crouch in the hospital corridor. Her trembling hands retrieved her glasses scattered by Claudia's strike and pulled them back in place over her face, where she then began to gather the scattered, irreparably decimated flowers from throughout the corridor.
As tears began to well up and obscure her vision, Zinnia lifted a hand to try and rub them from her eyes. But they wouldn't cease, and before long, she had completely given up and continued to try and clean up the mess Claudia had made of the corridor.
But then, just as she had managed to pile the floral debris back into the plastic cellophane, Zinnia found herself taking note of a form within the corridor with her. It came in the form of two moderately tanned, larger hands appearing in her field of vision to gently deposit a remarkably large acquisition of broken stems and torn petals into the cellophane, and it brought Zinnia to quickly lift her head in alarm.
The form crouched there on the hospital floor along with her was one that tugged at her recollection in a small way, a form that was vaguely recognizable for some reason she couldn't grasp. A boy of around her own age dressed in a coat and bright scarlet scarf wrapped many times around his neck. His chin-length black hair was left to hang where it wanted, and his red eyes scanned the area as he seemed to search for more scattered flowers to gather. She didn't fail to notice the way the boy seemed to glance at the door to Kali's room, and as she stared up at him in confusion, a rather kindly, apologetic smile graced the boy's face, revealing the pointy, shark-like teeth that was undoubtedly a by-product of his quirk manifestation.
It was then that she found herself recalling where she had seen this boy.
During the Yuuei entrance exam, he was remarkably talkative and overly bright, as if the world hadn't tainted his spirit yet. If she recalled correctly, he said his name was Kirishima.
She had no comprehension as to why he would be here right now, but she was thankful that was wasn't intending to make his presence known to Claudia on the other side of that sliding door.
Once Kirishima appeared to be finished with helping to gather flower debris, scooped up the cellophane and stood up straight on his feet before he held a hand out to her.
It felt oddly like the way he had so matter of factly invited himself to talk to her just before that practical assessment, as if there was nothing else he could be more interested in doing at that very moment.
And in spite of herself, Zinnia hesitantly accepted his helping hand.
The situation as she hesitantly lead the way back towards the emergency ward was rather awkward, to an almost painful measure as she found herself struggling to shrug off the fact that Kirishima still had possession of the decimated bouquet of flowers.
'S-sorry...' Zinnia finally spoke as she slowed to a halt in the corridors, hesitantly turning her head away as she heard the kindly boy's footsteps cease just behind her. 'Umm, thank you for helping me...'
'Hey, it's no problem.' Kirishima responded promptly, casually even.
'So, umm... Are you looking for a room in particular?' Zinnia proceeded to ask, desperate to try and find something to break the awkward air that was proceeding to practically suffocate her. 'I mean, you're obviously here to see someone...'
Especially since he was wandering around the long-term patient's ward to stumble upon her.
'Actually, not really, Kennedy-san.' The boy responded brightly enough. 'Actually, I was kind of looking for you.'
Zinnia hesitantly turned her head to look up at Kirishima, perplexed by not only his statement, but the rather prominent fact that he knew her name when she had never given it to him.
'You were looking for me?' She clarified, earning a prompt nod in response. 'What on earth for?'
And how'd he actually manage to find her to begin with?
'You probably didn't hear me at the time, but I wanted to come make it up to you for bailing me out of that bind at the exam.' Kirishima proceeded to explain with a rather sheepish grin. 'But man, you're a hard girl to find! I thought since you were wearing a paramedic's uniform that I should ask around, but this grumpy guy didn't want to give me your name, and the other told me to ask around Kyoto, and all sorts of things! But I tried here just out of curiosity, and a nurse at the emergency ward told me right away that you were out this way, so it all worked out!'
Zinnia stood rigid as she let the talkative boy's explanation sink in on her, with her right eye twitching rather distinctly as she realized that Shinji and Hatori had undoubtedly sent him running around from city to city just to try and track her down. Why they did, she didn't know, but she was going to have to give them an earful for wasting this poor boy's time for no real reason!
'I'm umm... sorry about those two.' Zinnia hedged as she furtively turned her head away. 'They really are a pain when it comes to a lot of things...'
Especially when it came to her, and she didn't understand why.
'It's fine, don't worry about it!' Kirishima dismissed her apology quickly with a grin. 'In any case, can I shout you a drink or something? You know, to thank you for your help at the exam?'
Seiya had told her he wanted her to go home early, but really, the stuff in the staff lounge was a lot nicer than anything she had bought in a store before.
'Well, you can, but there's some really nice stuff at the rest-station here, actually.' Zinnia hedged as she found herself once again looking down at the decimated bouquet in Kirishima's grip. 'We can ... call it even since you helped me already, right?'
For a second, it looked as though Kirishima dearly wanted to decline right away, however he seemed to let out a sheepish chuckle and smiled once again.
'It definitely wouldn't be manly for me to disagree with a face like that.' He remarked with the faint broadening of his smile. 'But I don't know where this rest-station is, since there's no maps in this place.'
And in spite of herself, Zinnia felt a small smile spread across her face.
'I'll be sure to pass the complaint to the staff for you.' Zinnia remarked as she finally reached forward to retrieve the tattered bouquet from his grip, and deposited it into the nearest waste bin. 'But it's this way, anyway.'
'Gotcha!' He responded brightly as he followed along after her.
As they settled in at the rest-station off the emergency ward, and proper introductions were given to overrule the awkward ties that had been their prior associations, a comfortable, almost welcoming air overcame Zinnia as she perched herself in her favourite armchair at the rest-station, hot chocolate in hand as their conversation shifted from topics of Yuuei's exam to their quirks, before shifting to light-hearted topics of overall interests.
It was perhaps the first conversation she had participated in with another as equals, and it had numbed the pain in her heart down enough for a sincere smile to spread across her pale face.
As the hours ticked by and their hangout ended with the two parting ways to head home, Zinnia walked with her gaze upon the screen of her phone.
A new contact was added on LINE, the aesthetics of the contact adorned in bright red and a Crimson Riot wallpaper, Zinnia learned upon a confession the boy had given about his idolized pro hero, a conversation topic that Zinnia herself couldn't participate all that much in.
'We'll have to hang out again sometime, Kennedy-san!' The boy had told her in the end. 'Let's trade contacts so it's not me running around the country trying to track you down, again!'
The smallest, sweetest smile adorned Zinnia's face as she found herself realizing that maybe, for the first time in her life, she had a friend.
One who didn't look at her as if she were a villain.
It was enough to break her out of that spiral of blood and death that she was suffocating within, and gave her hope.
--=[Submitted 19th July 2018, 3321 words total]=--