In my room, I spritzed myself with perfume until the scent of spring flowers was overpowering. I didn't know how well it would work to hide my true scent, but it was all that I had.
I put a hoodie on before I put on my coat. Stuffing my hair under the hood, I checked both directions twice before I finally went outside. The air was chilly, as I expected it to be in October. Or was it early November....how long has it been since I got here anyway? Two, three weeks? I counted back the days as I walked down the deserted streets. God, I don't know.
Every few minutes I looked over my shoulder. I couldn't get over the creeping suspicion that I was being watched. If I was caught now, not only would I be in trouble, but Nia and Iris would be punished too. A front door creaked open behind me. Panic surged through me at that moment as I ducked behind a bush. I kept my face calm and willed my heart to keep racing. Jonah would know if I didn't control myself. He'd figure it out if I wasn't careful enough, which only meant I had to be stronger.
I went completely still as she walked in the opposite direction. Werewolves have a good sense of smell. She'll know I'm here. I took a deep breath, slowing my heartbeat as it threatened to pick up with fear. I don't know how long I can keep doing this--willing myself to be a statue at all times. She turns her head in my direction, eyes planted on the bush I'm hiding behind. I screw my eyes shut and think of school. Not good thoughts, not bad thoughts. He'll think I'm still in a slump after watching the news, but calmer.
After a few agonizing minutes, I opened my eyes. She was only a silhouette against the autumn sun now. I uncurled my hands and studied the half moons my nails had left in my palms. It was safe to keep going.
I walked the rest of the short distance to the twin's house. I looked up at the window.s I didn't want their brother, or their mother to answer. I sucked my teeth. Foolish me--why didn't I think about that before I came here? We should've agreed upon a signal or something. My eyes drifted to the fence.
Grabbing onto the rail, I hoisted myself up and over so I was treading through the crisp, yellow grass. I picked up a few pebbles from the ground and scanned my eyes over the windows. There were boyband and astrology posters decorating one room, and unless they had another sister I didn't know about or Ezra was into Korean pop it was probably one of the twins.
I threw three pebbles at the window before Nia and her black and red braids became visible through the window. I waved and she mouthed a few words. Moments later, the back door swung open. She stuck her head outside. "Come in before anyone sees you."
She closed the door and locked it behind us. "My mom has been gone for a week at a national council of witches. They're working on something really big and for our cases, really bad, come on, my sister is downstairs."
We passed all the jars and vials again to the table from last time. Nia pulled her poncho closer to her. Their basement was cold, colder than outside. I stuck my hands in my pockets and looked at both of them. "How's the Wolfsbane coming?"
"We've had to steal time away to work on it," Iris said, placing her hands on the table. "It became much easier when our mother lest for that convening of witches, but our brother still gets in the way."
"Where is he now?"
"Out. We set him up on a date to get him out of the house." She studied my face. "I know how you might have felt about him, but you must understand the situation we're in."
I waved my hand as if to wave her concerns away. "I would never put your brother in danger that way again." Or let Jonah corner me like that again. "Tell me of your progress."
"We have about a gallon made, so one milk jug of Wolfsbane. That's going to last you a couple months and we're not sure how long it will take us to find another proper cauldron as potion like these ones, strong ones, can only be made in a cauldron So once we escape you're going to have to use a little as possible. Just enough to make sure he can't sense you, a wolf can't smell you but not enough to take away your canines or your eyes from changing colors."
"I'll be careful, I'll keep my emotions in check. We need to get out of here and soon."
Nia nodded. "That I agree on. The national witches council is trying to make enough mindwipe to make the country forget about this. I'm not sure how, but if all of the thousands of witches in America put their minds to it, I'm sure they'll be able to in no time."
"Mindwipe." That's what they used on the police officers. "How will they spread it?"
"Maybe they'll put it in the water or vaporize it and let it enter the air. Although I'm not sure how they're going to make everyone forget only this one event."
I shrugged. "I don't know either, but I don't want to be around to find out. I feel like there's another battle approaching. I say we leave the night of."
"Are you crazy?" Iris said, narrowing her eyes. "We'll die for sure."
"It's the only night enough people will be distracted for us to slip away. Think of it--the soldiers will be fighting, civilians will either be tending the wounds of the injured or hiding and the children will either be sleeping or too scared of the gunshots for to notice a couple shadows moving in the night." I knew I was scared of the gunshots, enough to cover my ears during the battle. Who's to say a bunch of children wouldn't be too?
The looks on their faces were skeptical at best. I sighed. What more could I do to convince them? We couldn't wait any longer, we would be discovered. "It's now or never. I'm not sure how long the army will go before raiding the town because they think it has illegal weapons stockpiled. That or the witches strike first and everyone, including my parents, forgets this and we're stuck here the rest of our lives. Now or forever hold your peace."
"Fine," Nia said, standing and putting her hand out. I raised my eyebrow. What was she doing? "After we'll leave the country and go somewhere far away."
Iris stood and put her hand onto of Nia's. "Australia." Realization dawned on me and I stood too.
"London. My accent is still pretty good."
Nia laughed. "Well if we get there you'll have to show us."
Iris shook her head. "When we get there. It's time that we make our move. On three, now or never."
"One."
It was happening, we're finally setting this in motion.
"Two"
In a few days, we would either be free of this place and it would be nothing but a memory haunting us for the rest of our lives...or we would be stuck here for the rest of our lives.
"Three"
"Now or never." We all said the words and it rang clear in unison. This was our once change and if we fucked it up, there would be no more chances. We only had one shot to do this right.
"Be ready for the battle. We leave the night of." I pick my coat off the chair. "Pack."
I had a bounce in my step on the walk back, but I tried to keep my emotions in check. Perhaps I would let him think my despair and loneliness would drive me into his arms. Or would that make him think something is wrong? Or maybe I'd accept an embrace after being reluctant, I'd begrudgingly give in.
Yes.
He needs to think my resolve is waning, my drive slowing. He needs to think I love him. The shame I tried to suppress filled my cheeks. It was terrible that it wouldn't be too hard.
The door was open when I came in, just the way I'd left it. I crept through the living room. "So, how was your outing?" Her cold, clipped voice stopped me in my tracks and rose the hairs on my back.
"Lara, you're back. I was just cold so I put on my coat."
Her hardened eyes land on me. "I'm not stupid, I checked your room. So where did you go?"
"On a walk."
She stood and walked towards me. She was taller by an inch, but the whole family was tall. "Does Jonah know about your little adventure?"
I bit the inside of my cheek. "I needed to think, alone, and he would never let me do that."
"I know the game you're playing. I see you, with your coy smiles, your fluttering touches. You have my brother wrapped around your pinkie finger and you know it. But you can't fool me."
I gave her a dead-eyed stare. "I need time to myself sometimes too. How can I escape with all these fences up? You think me cunning and manipulative? Do you think I'm unaffected by all this too?"
"You don't seem to be." Holding in my breath, it was hard to silence the nervous screaming going on in the back of my head. Still, I wove a tail of my sorrows and emotions, all very real for my somewhat true story.
"I went on a walk because I'm confused. Do you think this had been easy for me? I was ripped from my parents, told that they might have killed me with their unqualified potion making and now I hear the rings of stray bullets every few nights."
"Please, are you going to tell that sob story again?" She rolled her eyes. "We know you think we're evil for taking you from your precious parents."
"Listen." The word comes out like a hiss. "On top of that, I let your brother bite me. I wanted him too, I liked it." She raised her eyebrows and I swallowed back the saliva building in my mouth, wetting my dry throat. "That's what's conflicting. In every sense of the word, I was kidnapped. I should be angry, sad, something, I should feel something." I let the emotion pour out of me. It felt good to get the words off my chest. "I don't feel either of those, not at him."
I ran my hands through my hair. "It's like I can't be mad and it's driving me crazy. I want him close, I like I like him...like I love him. Do you know how terrible that's been for me to feel that way for my kidnapper? I feel crazy, depraved, sick inside, and yet, my heart still thumps when he's near, my mind still craves him closer. That why I needed to get out of here. I'm going to go crazy if all I have is him around, I'm going to develop Stockholm Syndrome at some point. But I'm sure that's what you want isn't it?"
She made no attempt to hide her thoughts. Her mouth hung open as she stared at me. Her gaze made my skin crawl. Am I crazy? I looked to the side. Saying it out loud only brought back my guilt, her silence only reaffirming my shame. I told myself over and over, 'it's not my fault.' and 'I can't help it.' But the shame keeps coming back. I had no choice, I needed to remember that. I can't place the blame on myself.
"Well? Speechless?"
Her face turned red. I'm glad I'm not the only one ashamed today. "I still don't trust you."
"And I don't trust you, any of you. I know you're all trying to break me down as fast as possible. Until you can build me back up again to be the perfect, doting Luna. Will you not at least give me the right to think freely as you destroy me?"
I went up the stairs, heart pounding a mile per minute in my chest. She called up the stairs, following me. "I'm telling Jonah. He can see your emotions, he'll know."
"Go ahead, I'll tell him what I told you. I was only walking. I know I can't escape, you've made that clear." I slammed my door shut. I'm terrified of what he'll do. This is my one change. My one chance to get out of here. If he finds out, I'm ruined, and Nia and Iris...well, I thought I what he did to their brother. If I'm ruined, they're dead.
I sat in my room until I heard the doorbell ring again. I heard the murmuring of voices, quiet, probably talking about me. And then came the heavy footsteps coming from up the stairs. Jonah. My door creaked open and fear gripped me. His face by covered with shadows and emotions I can't place. He's not wearing his heart on his sleeve anymore, unfortunately for me. How much of my manipulation does he know?
"What did you do today?"
"Depends, have you spoken to Lara or not?"
"I have."
"I took a walk to clear my mind."
He sat on the edge of my bed, making it squeak under his added weight. "Are you lying to me?"
"No."
His eyes bored into mine, searching for them. "You're trying to escape, aren't you?"
Emotion. I needed to lay it on and quick. "I went on a walk. First Lara, now you? I needed time alone. Every day, you're by my side, all day. It's choking me slowly, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. I am quite literally going crazy from your presence and I'm trying to avoid Stockholm Syndrome, though I'm afraid it might be too late now. I know escape is impossible. You're a bunch of trained wolves and I can't even shift. How am I supposed to get away?"
He exhaled, letting his shoulders relax. "Fine. I believe you. Though I wish you would stop thinking of it as a curse. It's not a bad thing that you're growing to care for me." His hands crept closer and I held in my breath. Begrudgingly accept.
"I was kidnapped."
"The moon goddess doesn't make mistakes." His fingers massaged my scalp and he pulled me closer.
"You guys are trying to break me. You're trying to guilt trip me into accepting this, into not being sad or thinking of the people I left behind."
He pressed kisses to the back of my neck. "We're trying to show you how life was supposed to be." He didn't even deny it. My nails bit into my palms while he held me.
I tilted my head to the side, yawning, showing more of the side of my neck with the mark on it. He looked me in the eye, eyebrows raised. "What? I'm tired."
"Sure," he mutters, moving his lips to the mark. "I'm sure you didn't to that on purpose."
We stay in my room for fifteen minutes, but by the time we leave it, I'm sure he's not on my trail anymore. Lara was definitely right. I had her brother curled around my pinkie finger.