Hello! This is Confessions Hotline! We are here to comfort you with any past sins you may have committed. To confess now, press "1" or if you would like to hear about our counseling progr-
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Great! Now please wait as we connect you with our spokesperson.
"Hello! How are you today?"
"Cut the giggly crap and let me confess you some dirty shit"
"Why certainly, I apologize if I may come off comfortab-"
"Shut the fuck up and let me say something god damn it... I knew this was a bad a idea..."
"Alright I'll listen. What seems to be on your chest?"
"Okay, so I was paid hard money to run over a girl who was tied on the ground....."
"And what?"
"I ran her over and got my money."
"Well then, at least you were paid, right?"
"If I saw her face, I would've never ran over my girlfriend for 5k."