I felt incredibly guilty watching Jessie agonize over her sheet music, knowing it would all be for nothing as soon they announced we'd be sight-reading from the show. I tried telling her not to stress as much, but she brushed me off.
The look on her face when Mr. Phelps and Ms. Listine made the announcement killed me a little inside. She frantically got up and was one of the first to make her selection from the music. She picked His Eyes, the same one I picked and I had sung earlier with Christian.
Once everyone had made their selection, Christian played the accompaniment while Mr. Phelps dramatically belted every note, teaching us the music. I looked around while the boys were practicing their song and made eye contact briefly with Nick. Instead of looking away awkwardly like I would have done a year ago, I flashed a flirty smiled. Despite him singing, my heart fluttered as he gave a slight smile back.
After the learning portion, they sent everyone into the hall and called us in one-by-one. I was the very first one and I wondered if Leila or Emmy had some pull. Christian winked at me and I stood on the stage, the directors sitting in the audience.
So no matter his cast away looks,
Our love is one for the books.
And while she'll always stand to the side,
I'll be the one he doesn't have to hide.
"Very good, Penelope," Ms. Listine finally said after a long moment of silence. Emmy gave me a super thumbs up and Leila waved her arms from their seat behind them. "Please tell the next person we're ready for them."
I walked off the stage and up the aisle. There were people standing outside and I accidentally hit them with the door. I realized, they were crowded around to listen. Jessie was among them.
"How did you do that, Penny?" She asked.
"Do what?"
"That was perfect. You're telling me you just learned those pieces, just like everybody else?" She looked... angry, almost.
"Yeah, I guess I just got lucky." The guilt made my fingertips and cheeks burn. "Do you want me to help you with yours?"
She was still a good few people out. I knew I had to go check the scene partner assignments and practice my side, but I couldn't just strand her there. We went into a desolate corner and began to work.
She had a lovely voice, I could see why she had leads in her last few towns as well. She just needed some guidance on where the notes were. The only nerve-wracking part was that she couldn't anything too high - include the final "So he's mine!" that seals the song on a high pitch. I assured her that she'd be fine and it was probably just nerves.
She still looked queasy as her name was called for her to go in.
Now, it was time for me to go see who I would be doing a scene from the book with. They'd taken everyone who had registered for auditions in advance and compiled a list of names in pairs. Those who had completed a singing portion were gathered around the sheet of paper. I found my name and the one beside it.
Nick Dupont.
I turned to look over the crowd and spotted him. He waved me over.
"Did you already go yet?" I asked, meeting him on the fringes of where people were congregating.
"Yeah, I think it went pretty well. I'm just excited to keep going." He had perfect dimples. My energy was focused on not getting lost in those ocean-deep eyes and full on swooning. "Here, I picked up our sides. I'm glad we got paired up."
"Oh, me too." My cheeks flushed. Suddenly my neck was 1000 degrees. I dug my fingernails into my palm to try and chill out as we found a quiet place to rehearse.
"So, do you know what the show is about? I don't really know Christian at all and you know how vague Phelps and Listine can be - dramatic effect and all."
So I told him the gist.
The musical's main conflict is between the previously at-war kingdoms of Dark and Light, battling for who will dominate Earth. The royalty of both have made peace with each other, however the hatred between the people was still passionate. Now, Christian had only really told me the details for one of the subplots, so I only knew a few of the characters.
The subplot I knew and that we were reading from focused on Estella, the princess of the Light kingdom, and Cerin, the prince of the Dark kingdom. To unify their lands at the sunset, Estella and Cerin were raised to wed once they turned 18. Estella loved him fully, Cerin thought he loved her. His morals were questioned when the beautiful, lively Roxanne steps into the picture. It puts both of their kingdoms at risk for him to be with her.
At the end of the play, during the most dramatic scene, Cerin accidentally kills Roxanne and concedes to marry Estella in a bittersweet moment.
"Wow," Nick exhaled. "Intense."
"Yeah, intense is one way to put it." I flipped through the pages of scene we were to perform. "Okay, so I think this is from when Estella and Cerin first meet at the beginning, before Roxanne is in the picture. They've grown up hearing about each other their entire lives, and yet this is the first time they've ever spoken."
((Hi reader - Holland here! Just letting you guys know for future chapters, all lines from the play will be underlined to make sure there isn't any confusion. Thanks so much! Enjoy!))
"Alright, sure, sounds good. Here, I've got the first line." He cleared his throat. "Hello? Is anyone in here?"
"Yes?" I did my best to sound graceful, yet confused. "Oh."
"Oh." There was a beat of silence as indicated in the script. "Hello."
"Hello."
"You're the Princess Estella. Your parents said I might find you here."
"I love the gardens. They made this one for me when I was born." I gazed up at him. "And you must be Cerin. Prince Cerin, I mean."
"If we're to be married, I believe we can drop the formalities."
"Ah, yes, I suppose so. Cerin, then. You're different than how I pictured." He looked up and met my eyes.
"Am I?"
"You're far more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed." Sure, it was a little cheesy, but at the same time... My heart longed for a romance. Sometimes it felt like I was the only one who hadn't fallen in love - truly. I wished it were as easy as in the show.
"And far luckier, as well. I was just remarking to myself how fortunate I must be to have a true fallen star to be mine." The side was short, as most are when it comes to musicals. There was one thing left to do in the script. One tiny little stage direction.
It looked a little something like this:
(ESTELLA and CERIN kiss)
There was an awkward hesitation that lasted way, way too long as both Nick and I read it and absorbed what it said. I didn't look up.
"I mean... Well..." He fumbled for words. "It would be professional if we did. Actually, I think we should. They're not going to cast people who let stupid worries hold them back."
"Yeah, you're totally right." He was. In the real world, actors have to do all sorts of uncomfortable things. "But let's not kiss until we do it for the directors. That way, it will be more authentic."
It didn't exactly make sense, but he agreed. And before we knew it, our names were being called.
This time, Christian had joined the audience. He beside Leila, an open binder in his lap. All of the official people always had binders. Emmy saw Nick with me and gave me her "I-am-freaking-out-for-you" eyes along with some questionable winks (that were probably closer to blinks, if you ask me).
"Alright," Ms. Listine said with a flair. "Action!" She always said "action" like "ack-SHE-on!". I tried not to let myself get distracted by it.
I let myself become Estella, wistful and windswept. She was a soft glow of a person, and I tried to embody that in my every word and movement. Nick was easy to play off of, he was so talented. It felt like we were in lockstep with each other throughout the scene. It was electric, all the way until the kiss.
The moment came. His hands were on my face and I was gazing doe-eyed up at him. For a second, it felt real. For a second, I was living my dream. When our lips finally collided, soft and warm and... fake. It wasn't Nick kissing Penelope. It was Cerin kissing Estella. I knew in my heart he didn't feel that way about me, but it was so nice to pretend.
We let go and turned to face the audience. Emmy's mouth hung open, Leila was taking notes in her aforementioned binder, and for some reason, Christian looked like he had sucked on something sour. My spirits fell a bit as I wondered if I had disappointed him with my acting.
I felt kinda sad as Nick and I walked off together. My dream kiss had happened, with my dream guy, just not my dream circumstances. I knew it would've been better had it been real. I still felt tears pricking at the inner corners of my eyes as I replayed how upset Christian had looked.
I bid a quick goodbye to Nick and a "Break a leg!" to Jessie, then ran outside to where my mom was waiting in our sedan. I jumped into the passenger seat and as hard as I tried, was forced to swipe away frustrated tears.
She didn't ask me anything. That's what I loved about my mom. She knew I would talk about when I was ready.
Hey, I thought, look on the bright side. At least now I could say I'd had my first kiss.