"Dean. Just listen to me. How long do you think you can avoid me. I did not lie to you. Damn it, don't walk away."
Dean wanted to scream at Castiel to shut his mouth, but obviously his voice didn't cooperate. It was the next day of school, and every moment he got, Castiel tried to talk to him and apologize. He was walking from his fifth to sixth period now, and again the boy was high on his trail. Truth is, the thought of hearing him out fully was incredibly tempting. But he wasn't sure if he could trust the jock, so he kept his facade up.
"What's going on?"
Dean hadn't heard Charlie's voice this close ever since the movie theatre drama, so he was surprised to hear it practically behind him. He turned around abruptly, looking at Castiel and Charlie with annoyance lacing his features. The two looked at each other, which was another confusing thing to Dean. Since when did they even talk? Or be within ten feet of one another in the first place? Castiel spoke up.
"He thinks I'm dealing drugs," was his simple reply. Charlie blinked a few times and chuckled.
"Yeah, it must kind of look that way from his perspective. Look, Dean. I know you talked about trust issues before and I understand that, but just hear him out. I promise you, if you don't believe him after he tells the truth, you can slap the two of us," Charlie said, holding up her pinky. Dean rolled his eyes and refused the offer.
'Right. I gotta go,' he signed, before walking away from them. He heard Charlie let out a slight groan in frustration.
"Meet me in the upstairs bathroom after school. Please, Dean," Castiel said behind him. Dean just kept on walking, holding his burned arm with his opposite hand and hunched over in an insecure way. At least he was freed from the constant feeling of someone following him. For now.
He was almost mandatory to meet Castiel there. He knew the boy wel enough to know that he was stubborn and wouldn't give up, even when things didn't go his way. Especially when things didn't go his way. The thought was unsettling, as Dean was known for pushing people away when they broke his trust. Every bone in his body wanted to run out of school and hide, but sadly his heart told him otherwise and took the upper hand.
Thus, he found himself standing in front of the door of the bathroom Castiel had inclined him to go after his last class had finished. It was comparable to the girl's bathroom in Harry Potter, since it was never used. Hesitation crept up in him when his fingers were wrapped around the doorhandle of the bathroom and he felt himself pull his hand back. He just didn't want to get hurt. He couldn't.
When he turned around to leave, he jumped up in surprise.
"I was afraid you'd do that." Castiel was leaning against the wall opposite of the one where the toilet was located, his arms and legs crossed. A small smile was played on his lips, which matched the soft way he had spoken. Dean merely hugged his torso with his arms uncomfortably, looking down awkwardly. "So, can I explain now?"
A few students emerged from a corner. Dean stepped back so the kids could pass, looking at the ground again to avoid attention. He could feel Castiel's eyes burn into his head, but he didn't look up until the talking students were out of sight. Dean looked up only to see Castiel push himself off the wall and come his way.
"Come on, let's go inside," he said, pulling on the sleeve of Dean's leather jacket. The boy stepped aside but followed Castiel inside the bathroom. There, Castiel turned around to face him. "OK. So, despite what you think, I'm not doing drugs. There's a whole different reason for what you saw me doing in the hallway."
Dean blinked and raised his eyebrows. 'And what exactly might that be?'
"You just have to trust me on this one, De," Castiel said, a pleading look on his face. It only resulted into a scoff from Dean.
'Right. Trust you,' he signed back. 'Good job on that one.'
"For God's sake Dean why are you so Goddamn stubborn!" Castiel's outburst surprised Dean, but apparently the other boy as well. "I started raising money, yes, and I got the school to help me, but not for drugs. For you."
The second Dean heard that, he froze. The previous anger and distrust disappeared completely and guilt and fear replaced the previous emotions. Never had someone done something for him, so pushing people away had become something regular for the boy, but apparently he was so wrong this time. He felt his eyes gloss over when the thought occured to him that he might lose his only friend because his own stupidity.
"It was supposed to be a surprise, but I did all of it for you. I've been getting people to help me save money for your surgery. I know you can't afford it and I spoke to your dad about it and I think he actually cried over the phone. We covered over 400 dollars already so we can hear that beautiful voice of yours," Castiel said with a soft smile on his face. Dean, however, didn't laugh.
'Why do it for me? I'm not worth all that effort. And they don't even know me, so why bother?' Dean sighed, oblivious to the fact that his hands were shaking like crazy. Castiel chuckled lightly.
"Isn't it obvious?" Dean shook his head slowly. "I did it because I like you."
Dean blinked, looking at Castiel in confusion.
'What?'
"You're mute, De. Not deaf. You heard me. I like you," Castiel said. Despite seeming to be calm, Dean noticed his hands were shaking lightly. "I care for you, and this is the least I can do to make you happy. You're so selfless and so caring. Your personality is so pure and you're so strong. Plus, have you seen yourself in a mirror? Those eyes of yours are way too beautiful to ignore. It's not a very manly way of complimenting but you're beautiful, inside and outside. What is there not to love?"
As the boy spoke, he came closer, step by step. Tears threatened to spill from Dean's eyes as he kept stepping backwards.
The longer Castiel talked, the more emotional Dean got. First, he kept repeating in his head how wrong the boy was about him, but soon his eyes started to fill with tears, blurring his vision. Seconds later tears were running down his face. He shook his head quickly, wiping the substance off his cheeks as he turned himself away from Castiel.
"Hey. What's wrong?" Dean felt his hands shaking as he wiped another tear off his cheek angrily, turning back around. He hated how Castiel looked so worried. He shouldn't like him.
'You can't like me. I can't like you. It will ruin everything. I can't let you-'
Castiel got a hold of Dean's wrists and looked at him sadly. Then he reached his right hand out to the collar of Dean's jacket and pulled it down slightly as his left was holding the boy's shaking wrist. His eyes didn't leave the frightened emerald ones, trying to remain as calm as possible. His pointing finger and middle finger traced the wobbly skin on the boy's neck, aware that he had never touched the skin before. He leaned in slightly, still not looking away.
"I know about the scars, De. You don't have to be scared or ashamed," he whispered. Dean, however, didn't look relieved, he just tried to escape from the grip on his wrists. Castiel looked at him sadly, letting go. Instantly, the boy walked a few feet away from him and began signing.
'Do you honestly think I believe that you're gonna keep this to yourself? And when you don't, are you gonna stay by my side, because I already know the answer.'
"Yes," Castiel said, tearing his eyes away from Dean's hands. "Dean I've known about your scars ever since I helped you at the movies. That's been a couple of months now and I've told nobody. If the school would find out, I'd never, ever abandon you. Hell, I even fixed your collar last week because your neck was showing. I'm not disgusted. I couldn't be."
Dean just stared at him, no more tears falling down his cheeks but still trying to keep his distance. However, the jock wasn't done talking.
"The answer to the question why I kept it to myself is simple. You tried so hard to hide it. I always guessed that you were ashamed of your body, which is unnecessary but beyond understandable. Despite knowing that the majority of the school wouldn't mind, I kept it to myself, because if I were standing in your shoes, I'd most likely do the same thing,"
'You don't understand. You're gonna be disgusted, you just don't know it yet,' Dean signed wiping tears from his eyes angrily. Castiel shook his head stubbornly.
"I could never."
After that, Dean broke completely, clasping his hands over his mouth to avoid making noise, while he cried like he hadn't done in a long time. Castiel reached out to his hands and pulled them away from Dean's face. Instead, he pulled them down and wrapped his arms over his shoulders. They had only hugged once before but it was enough to drive Castiel crmzy. Dean laid his head on Castiel's shoulder and curled his hands into fists, gripping small bits of the fabric of Castiel's shirt as he did so.
"I am not abandoning you," Castiel whispered, acknowledging that his words had landed when Dean buried his head deeper into his shoulder. They stood there for a few minutes in that unused bathroom, while Dean was comforted by Castiel. It was after Dean unfisted his hands that Castiel loosened his grip. They stepped away from each other slowly, Dean wiping away one more tear.
Dean looked at Castiel the moment he lowered his hand, creating suspension by the torturing slow pace he used. First, Castiel guessed that he would sign something, but he hadn't expected him to reach for the collar of his jacket that seemed to be too much part of him to be removed. His hands shook visibly as he pulled the jacket down towards his shoulders, where a black t-shirt was covering up most of his skin.
However, his neck was exposed. Stretched out, white and pink lines ran halfway up the left side of his throat and neck from Castiel's perspective, creeping down under the even, colorless fabric. This, Castiel had already seen a few times, just not this long and profound. Dean bit his lip anxiously, obviously struggling with the next part.
"I'm not pressuring you to go further, remember that," he said, his voice wavering ever so lightly from emotion. Dean nodded and took a deep breath.
He didn't stop. He pulled down his flannel as well, resulting him to remain in only a t-shirt and jeans. Inch by inch, he revealed his arms, bare as God himself originally had gifted and created humanity. Only, did Dean's right arm not look like the original arm, only bonewise. It was just like the peek Castiel had gotten from his neck, only so much bigger and leaving almost no trace of actual untouched skin. The marks peeked from under his shirt and stopped at the edge of his arm, explaining why he had never noticed anything unusual at his hands.
What was unusual, was the tear that ran down Castiel's left cheek and fell onto the ground. Despite the earlier promise he had made that no matter what, he wouldn't pity the boy in front of him, his heart clenched painfully at the sight and just the imagination what he must have gone through.
When he looked back up, Dean looked so ashamed and scared that he felt like screaming. The clothes were now laying on the ground as he tried to wrap his arms around himself subconsciously. Castiel was at a loss for words, his eyes glossing over, despite the effort he put in stopping that. The moments he spent in sorrow, apparently looked like betrayal to the mute boy, as he grabbed his flannel and jacket from the ground and started to walk off. Castiel knew that if he let him leave, their friendship and possible relationship even, would be ruined. Thus, he got a hold on Dean's wrist when he walked by.
"I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that," he said, his voice cracking as he spoke. Through his tears, he looked up at the startled boy. "But they don't change who you are. You're beautiful, Dean. Scars or not, that's what I think."
Castiel released Dean's wrist so he could sign something. He secretly hoped that he wouldn't use this opportunity to walk off. Thank God he didn't.
'Noone's ever said that before,' Dean signed slowly, his hands shaking even more. Castiel smiled a little bit.
"But it's the truth. Speaking about that, I haven't said a single thing to you that was a lie," he said. Dean's beautiful, tear-filled green eyes didn't leave his.
'You really like me?' He signed. Castiel let out a sudden laugh.
"Out of all the things I said, that's what you thought of? But yes, Dean. I really, really like you." Dean's cheeks colored a clear shade of red as Castiel spoke, and it lit up the jock's world when Dean smiled shyly with his teeth. Castiel tilted the boy's head with his thumb, kind of regretting to be so close. He took a shaky breath and said:
"If I were to kiss you right now, would you mind?"
Dean bit his lip and shook his head. The mute boy was filled with anxiousness. What if he fucked it up, what if they head-bumped? What if they-
A pressure was placed on his lips, and that's when he figured out that Castiel's hands were on the base of his neck, his thumbs right before his ears. He was so startled, that he didn't even think about kissing back. Castiel noticed this and laughed against his mouth.
"It's OK to kiss back," he whispered playfully. Dean blushed deeply, looking in Castiel's amused, blue eyes. His anxiety must have been obvious which was probably enough to make Castiel realize that this was his first kiss. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. If I'd known, I wouldn't have-"
Dean pressed his lips against Castiel's again, now somewhat knowing what it felt like. Castiel was the one to be hesitant now, but once he did kiss back, Dean realized what he had missed out on. After a few seconds, Castiel pulled away and smiled lightly.
"As much as I'd like to go further, I've already fucked up your emotions enough lately," Castiel whispered. Dean chuckled, touching his lips. "And I don't want to spoil everything I've got in store." Dean's eyes widened. He jumped up in surprise when Castiel started laughing.
"Come on, let's go home."
Dean slipped on his flannel and jacket, secretly loving the comfort the texture offered once again. He blushed and smiled when Castiel held out his hand for him to grab. He did so and bit his lower lip. He had not expected that such a simple gesture would feel so good. Although he was tired of all the emotions that he had felt in merely ten minutes, and that both their eyes were red from crying, in that moment, all seemed too good to be true.
Little did they know that there was someone hiding in that restroom, who had no right to know about the conversation and was in possession of a phone.
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A/N:
Wowwowow, 1000+ reads?! I'm honestly speechless. I mean, I do have a story with over 32,5K reads (it's going so fast and I don't feel like I have deserved that wtf) but just 9 chapters and 1K reads? That's insane. Its provably a little dramatic but thank you for reading. This honestly makes me happier than I've been in quite some time.
But hey, they kissed 😉. I'm writing chapter 12/13 right now and there's definitely some cute stuff coming. And drama of course.
Thank you for reading again! I'll shut up now.