Okay, so this chapter is just... IDK. Anyway, I tried to do this in the most basic, simplest way possible because, gosh, I'm tired of the dramatic. Anyway...continue.
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I can't believe we have been together for a week and I'm already doing this. I suppose sooner is better than later but I couldn't help but feel as if we were moving too fast. That was just my insecurities talking, though. This means so much to him and if he thinks I'm ready then I must be. He wouldn't put me in such a compromising position if he wasn't sure I could handle it. I'm only doing it because I love this man.
“Mommy, Marcus is here!”
Maleek ran in my room, excitedly. As I sat on the edge of my bed he jumped in my lap. I let out a playful grunt.
“Goodness, boy, you are too heavy for your own good.”
He laughed even though I was partly serious. He really is heavy. I don't even try to pick him up anymore. I love him and I would break my back for him, just not under that circumstance.
“Just part of becoming a man.” A voice came from the door.
Lord, I still get chills at the sound of his voice. It's just a vibration that sets through my whole body. I swear, I think he knows it too. I'm not able to tell if it's really his charm or if he uses his good looks as an advantage. My mind settled between the two and my eyes settled on the man leaning in my door frame. His arms crossed along with his feet, his appearance never falters. He manages to look amazing 24/7 and that was one thing I couldn't understand. I still feel inadequate around him at times, but he never fails to remind me, I'm his equal.
With his nice fitted jeans and red, v-neck sweater, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He knows I love his casual look and I could see the teasing in his dark eyes. Since that night I can read him like a book. No one else may notice but his eyes hold everything. It seems as if he wears his emotions pinned to his shirt. Well, at least to myself.
My eyes met his dark ones and my heart skipped a beat. I had to remind myself that my child was in my lap, just to get rid of all my wild thoughts.
“A man?” I questioned looking up at him “No, he will always be my baby.”
I looked down at Maleek and kissed his head. He cheesed at me shyly and jumped off my lap. He puffed out his chest as he walked and stood next to Marcus.
“I'm becoming a man.” He barked out. His face was mean and his once innocent voice went as deep as he could possibly make it. Which, I might add, wasn't so deep. Still, the thought that he tried was funny. It was also breaking my heart, because it was true. He was becoming a man and as much as I didn't want to see it happen, it was happening before my eyes. Every moment that he spends with Marcus, I can see it more and more, and I suppose that made me a little bit more comfortable. Marcus is a great man and is such a great male figure for Maleek. If anyone was the best role model for my child, it would be him.
I fall back into the bed and laugh at the ceiling. My hands covered my face from the disbelief. My child was a mess.
“Oh my goodness.” I laughed through my hands. “What have you done to my child?”
Marcus chuckled and the vibrations returned. He's killing me slowly.
“Okay, Tracy” he spoke through his laughs “It's time to go now.”
I inwardly groaned. It's not that I didn't want to do it... just not today. It would be a complete lie if I said I wasn't nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were about to pour out from my mouth. I was dripping with anxiety and it gathered in a puddle at my feet. Marcus had told me plenty of times that I had nothing to worry about and I believe him, but it still did nothing to calm my nerves. I'm sure my sanity was tired of playing boomerang with me but it wasn't my fault.
Tingles rang through my body as I felt warmness hover me. I could feel as he leaned over my frame, with his hands on either side of my hips. His mere wrist were touching me and I could already feel his next mark on my violation chart. Slowly one hand trailed up my hip and caressed my side. His fingers brushed up the column of neck as they slowly moved over my chin and to peek of lip that showed between my hands.
In that moment...I was sure I was going to die.
His hand left a trail a burning need wherever he even thought about touching. My body anticipated the feel of him before the thought even crossed his own mind. We had an undeniable connection and it was as if we knew what the other wanted before they even wanted it. And in this moment we knew what we wanted and we wanted it now.
His warm breath ran over my mouth and sent chills to my toes. The tips of his fingers traced my lips and soon slid under my own hands that were resting over my eyes. Gently he pulled my hands away from my face and my insides went into an inferno. His dark set eyes were in swirls. The swirls where I couldn't tell if they were lighter or darker. The swirls which had my undergarments swimming. I was soon going to drown in my own essence.
Both of my arms snaked around his neck as I could feel every part of me burning. His head slowly dipped and my need grew stronger. Once the softness of his lips brushed across mine, sanity was thrown again and I could only wait for it to come back. Jesus, his lips were soft. They moved with mine gently and I could feel myself sink deeper into the mattress. Me and him were in sync.
Slowly pulling away he looked into my eyes. My breathing was slightly heavier, and even if it was barely, I still had my head on. He licked his lips and I coiled. He did it. He killed me. I was dead and he was my angel.
“It's time to go, Tracy.” He whispered, swiping his thumb across my bottom lip.
“Tease.” I called him.
He replied with a small chuckle and quick peck to my lips. I stood up and I could almost shiver with the loss of his heat. He took my hands and pulled me up to my feet. I fixed my shirt and ran my palms over my hair. Looking around, I scrunched my face into confusion.
“Where is Maleek?” I asked.
Marcus wrapped an arm around me as we walked out of the room. I was still winded from the kiss but I managed to keep myself together.
“He's eating the food I brought him.”
“And what is that?”
“McDonald's” he shrugged nonchalantly.
I flicked his ear and he cringed slightly.
“McDonald's, Marcus, really?”
He smiled innocently at me and I knew this was one of those moments where he used his boyish charm as an advantage. He made me want to slap him upside the head and smother him with kisses at the same time. I knew his game and he doesn't play fair.
“It's chicken nuggets” he smiled.
I just rolled my eyes at him as he kissed my head. I swear since he came in, he's been spoiling Maleek with who knows what. This man bought him a limited edition set of Lego’s. He claims it was to help him develop his architectural abilities but I knew better. Although I heavily gave him my opinion, I never stopped him from doing things for Maleek. I knew he just wanted to give Maleek the life he wish he had, and so do I, but I also wanted him to know that not everything is given. Marcus is great and it shows in everything that he does.
We walk into the living room and I see Maleek is seated at the bar, that connects the kitchen and living area.
“You spoil him you know?” I said looking at Maleek.
Maleek finishes his food and we all head out of the door. We all slide into his black BMW, one of his newest, and make our way. Suddenly the butterflies return. They were bouncing off the lining of my stomach and all of the flying was making me sick. As I clenched my hands, my fingers stuck to my palms.
What am I doing? I'm not ready. We are moving too fast.
Really, Tracy?
I know. I know. I need to woman up. I, myself, can't understand why I'm so nervous. It's not as if I didn't have time to prepare for it. Even then, my nerves were already dancing in a frenzy. I suppose, it's that I have never been in a position like this. All of my past relationships were failures. With my involvement with them, the supposed other half, never took the time to do things like this. I have never been in a serious relationship, or at least a relationship when the other was as infatuated as I was. It was always one sided when it came to relationships with me. Marcus, he has shown me all of these things and taken me to places I have never been before. When I'm with him I actually take chances and not once, or not yet, has he let me fall. I can honestly say that I trust him and I love that he pushes me of my box.
You, my friend, are whipped.
As I clenched my sweaty hands, Marcus laced his fingers with mine. I looked down, as my manicured fingers become entwined with his masculine, yet gentle ones. I don't know why, but I wanted to cry as I looked at our conjoined hands. Everyday feels like dream and sometimes I feel as if I have to touch him just to make sure it's all real. I still wonder what I have done to deserve him, but never have I taken him for granted. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and a year has most definitely made my fondness peak.
I quickly blinked away my tears and looked away from our hands. I was having my own personal moment I'm sure he would think I'm crazy for crying for no damn reason.
“You okay, Tracy?” Marcus inquired as he quickly glimpsed at me.
“Yea.” I choked out. “Just a little nervous, is all.”
He quickly kissed my temple and gave my hand a squeeze. I beamed up at him and we continued our journey. It was about another 30 minutes before we reached our destination. It was a big neighborhood with even bigger houses. The house we pulled up to, may have been one of the biggest in the development. It was isolated and sat up on a small hill, overlooking the rest of the homes. The front was fenced and a gate stood at the end of the driveway.
My stomach clenched and my my mouth dropped at the site. It was the most beautiful house I have ever seen. Once the gates opened and we drove through, I couldn't find it in me to pick my jaw up from the floor. As we drove around the U-shaped path, I couldn't take my eyes off the fountain, surrounded by precisely placed flowers, in the center. It finally sunk in that this was real and there was no turning back.
The car stopped right in front of the house, with the cobblestone frame and large windows. Huge oak doors stood just meters away from us. The butterflies were having the time of their life as they played a little game of hop scotch in my belly. They danced to the rapid beating of my heart and and enjoyed splashing in my waves of anxiety. At that moment, butterflies were no longer beautiful to me. Just constant nuisances who flaunted their colorfulness and fed off my agitation.
A squeeze on my hand, interrupted my outbreak of cold-sweat. Looking over, Marcus smiled brightly at me and my heart instantly melted. Looking at him made me realize I had nothing to be nervous about. He was here. With me.
“Tracy, are you nervous?” he asked.
“What? Nervous? Of course not. I mean, I'm just meeting your father. Why would I be nervous?”
I knew he saw right through my facade, but he didn't do anything but chuckle and kiss my forehead. He slid out of the car and I waited patiently, drumming my thumbs on my purse, as he came and opened my door. I smiled up at him, thankfully, and slid out as well. As Maleek jumped out the backseat giddily, I wiped my sweaty palms down my jeans.
Just...relax.
Turning around, I grab Maleek's hands, and Marcus grabbed my other. We walked up the four steps and were met by the grand doors. I stood waiting for Marcus to knock but instead he opened the door and walked right in. Pushing it open, he stood aside as me and Maleek strolled through.
Wow.
As we stood in the foyer my eyes couldn't stick to one place for long. It was just so much. It was elegant, modern, but homey at the same time. Browns blended with reds and greens. I swear I entered the cover of Oracle Living Magazine myself.
I jumped out of my trance as the door shut behind me. I turned around and saw Marcus looking casual and...complete. Here, I saw he was comfortable and all his looks of power and dominance melted away and was replaced with his full boyish self. This place here, was his real home.
He clapped his hands and smiled at me.
“We're here.” He grinned and I returned the gesture. “Come on.” he grabbed my hand.
He tugged my hand lightly as me and Maleek trailed behind him. Us both trying to take in all the details of each passing object. Surprisingly though, Maleek was quiet. He must really be intrigued by all of this if he hasn't muttered a word since we entered those gates.
Finally, he stopped walking and I realized we were in the kitchen. I was going to die with the beauty of it. From the granite counters to the marble floors. From the stainless steel appliances to the cherry wood cupboards.
He pulled us to the island and told to get seated. Numbly, I did as he said.
“You two sit here while I find the old man.” He told us.
I just nodded as my eyes scanned the room. How could he be so natural in a place like this? I could never get used to seeing this everyday.
He gave me one of his heart warming chuckles as he pecked my lips. Lord, I love it when he does that. It causes the tingles and vibrations to set my body ablaze. He's such a tease.
His lips brushes across my ear as he whispers gently,
“I wish you looked at me like that.”
My spine shook as the heat of his breath rolled down my back. He was going to be the death of me. With out another word, he turned and walked out of the kitchen, yelling for his old man. I couldn't help but lightly laugh at him. Here, he was so child like and I never saw that in him before. Sure, he had his boyish moments but never have I seen him so...free. I never understood how he could hold on to that though. His childhood wasn't easy and I knew that he had to grow up fast. So, how can he manage to still be so lively? Everything about him, everything he does, everything he says, everything he is, amazes me, every second that I am with him. I was head over heels in love with him.
Getting tired of sitting, I pace around the kitchen. Maleek plays some puzzle games on my phone, humming and swinging his legs. He loves puzzles. He loves that he's able to put something together and have it become a masterpiece. Sometimes it scares me how much of myself I see in him.
My fingers trace the swirls of the counters, when suddenly a clearing of a throat sounded through out the room. Whipping my head around, my heart quickly stops. My mind had to be playing tricks on me at the moment, because...no. It just wasn't possible.
“Tracy?” He asked. “What are you doing in my home?”
I blinked at him dumbly. It was getting harder and harder to register the situation. I couldn't find words. This is beyond my imagination and this...can't be true. If I was as smart as I thought I was, then my assumption would be correct.
“Uuum.” I hummed. My mouth was dry and I just couldn't get the words out.
“Oh, so you two found each other.” Came another voice.
From beside me, Marcus came and wrapped an arm around my waist. I was too dumbfounded to completely absorb the feel of him, but the chill ran through me without a doubt. The room was tense and Marcus and Maleek were both out of the moment. They must not have felt the same constricting walls that I did.
“Tracy, this old man here, is my father.” I could hear the smile and pride in his voice as he uttered those words, but I was too busy looking at the man in front of me, trying to come up with some type of explanation, to respond.
Suddenly, my body was engulfed in warmth as arms swallowed my body. Feeling the familiar comfort and hold, I wrapped my arms around him as well. We just held each and I couldn't understand why, for the fact that I had seen him that very morning, as I watched him sip his bitter coffee. Why was this moment so special to us when we have had plenty before? Why did in this moment, it never felt so good to be in the arms of Sams?
Slowly pulling away, Sams grabbed both sides of my face in his hands.
“So, now you really are my daughter.” he said.
I laughed at his word as slight blush rose on my cheeks. The trout.
“So, I'm guessing I missed something.” Marcus spoke as he stepped beside me. I couldn't miss the confusion on his face and I don't blame him. I was still confused myself.
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rest my head on his broad shoulder. I couldn't help but smile brightly at Sams as I squeeze Marcus tighter. I felt giddy.
“Marcus, is this the woman?” Sams rose a brow at his son.
Smiling down at me, Marcus replied with a yes.
“Well, I have to say, you couldn't have picked anyone better.”
If it wasn't for my complexion, I would be sure my face would be as red as a tomato.
“I'm missing something, aren't I?” Marcus asked.
“No, son. You're gaining something. Something great.”
I couldn't miss the sparkle in Sams eyes. I knew that he felt that this was fate itself, as well. He knew that things like this doesn't just happen. That this was meant to be and that we are all here for a reason. Together we all had a purpose and everything happens for a reason. It was no coincidence and just the way the plates fell. This was planned, everything was planned just to lead to this very moment.
I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes from forming. I was all too happy but so many emotions ran through me. Calling Maleek, he jumped from the chair and stood by me. Stroking his head, with my fingers I introduced him to Sams.
“So this is the infamous Maleek, huh?” Maleek replied with a 'yup' adding a pop. “Well, I must say, it is nice to meet you.”
Maleek sent Sams one of his biggest, toothless smiles. I couldn't stop the tears from falling then. They fell in puddles. I can't believe what my life has become. This is what I have always wanted. I always wanted to be complete. I always wanted to do something and I wanted to feel good about it. I always wanted Maleek to have someone to look up to. I always wanted to love someone and to have them love me just the same. I always wanted to be able to come out of the water and be able to breathe...and I'm breathing. I'm breathing and it feels so good to exhale. All of it. All of what I have now is exactly what I wished for. My struggle is over and the only thing constant in my life is my pure joy and happiness. Now, I know that all of my failures were never failures. They were just a step closer to my dream. My life has fell into place.
“Tracy, are you okay?” Marcus asked looking down at me.
I looked up into his dark orbs and sent him my most prized smile.
“I'm just happy.” I told him. “I'm really happy.”
And so I was.
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Gaahh!! Can you believe we finished Tracy's story!? I was really going to cry. Man, we came a long way... and we still have further.
I really love all of you guys and the support you gave me while writing Tracy's story, even with the long waits. I mean you guys don't understand. To this day I stilll compare myself to other writers. I just get so frustrated when I read other books and be like damn...that was amazing. How did they do it? Sometimes I have to pull myself back down and remind myself that my writing is my writing. It's not meant to be like others. Anyways, now that my insecurity is out of the way...
Believe it or not, Tracy wasn't a easy character for me to write. She was just... complicated for no damn reason.
So, Idk how long it will be for story two. I have things planned but then I'm trying to figure out the character and then I have plan out the scenes and...idk. I'm actually quite excited to start the next story but I need a little bit more planning.
Oh, and I did read all the comments from last chapter and it was too many to go back a reply like I usually do. But I did read ALL of them and I must say I'm a little upset that some of y'all lost faith in Tracy... Lol. But they all made my day
7/17/14