Song: "Into the Black" by Chromatics
**
I didn't know that getting married would mean getting a lot of attention from people I ignore and those who chose to ignore me. But I guess this is happening because I did not just marry any other guy I've just met, but it had to be someone who can have it all.
I didn't like this kind of attention that makes me feel like every guy in the campus is undressing me every time they see me, and that every girl in school would like to tear my head off for getting their boyfriend's attention. No need to worry about that, I'm married.
What I do like is that I became a repellent for those people I don't like because of a lot of things.
People started to treat me differently. Teachers and the administrators were kinder and polite. Maybe because George can look very intimidating, or perhaps they really did know.
"This slut slept with a CEO and now she's getting the royal treatment."
"Ugh, I know! She's not even pretty for God's sake!"
"But I still can't move on on how she seduced him! What a gold digger!"
I opened the cubicle's door when I heard them leave the restroom. I know the reason why George was hired, and I wished that he was here to kick their asses off my business, but unfortunately, George doesn't have what it takes to be in a female restroom. Plus, I don't like getting the 'royal treatment' those girls said nor what George told me about Margaret.
Maybe I am a slut...maybe I am a gold digger after all.
I washed my hands and took a good look in the mirror. I started school in a good mood, and I end it with a sour one. This just means that there will be more to come.
When I was done, I went out and saw George outside with Gigi.
"Hey, Mads! I have to go somewhere. Are you okay by yourself?" She asks with a worried expression.
"Yeah, it's fine." I forced a smile.
"You don't look good. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Just tired." I shrugged. "I'll see you tomorrow, Gi." I opened my arms to give her an embrace.
"Cool! Tell your mom I said hi!" She waved off and went on her way.
"Will do!" I reply as I watch her leave until it was only George and I.
"Mr. Thompson wants to apologize for not being able to pick you up, Madison. He's stuck in a meeting and asks me to drive you to the hospital." He says as we went to the exit.
"Oh, okay. Can I call him?" I asked.
George looks at me as if I was a clown or some sort of comedic entertainment. "He's not my husband." He replies and mentally I was face palming myself.
I rolled my eyes and called Will. It took him three rings before he answered. Knowing him, he should be busy on the phone with someone else or still be in his meeting.
"Hello, Madison. Sorry I couldn't make it to pick you up. Are you okay there?" His voice instantly made my heart warm.
"It's okay. You're probably still busy right now. I just wanted to call you." Because I want to hear your voice all day than listening to my teachers, what have you done to me?
"Yeah, I'm still in a meeting right now." Oh, looks like I disturbed him.
"Okay. I-I-I didn't mean to disturb, sorry. I was gonna ask what you'd want for dinner tonight?" I looked around the hallways and there were only a few students left.
"No worries at all. I don't actually mind whatever we have for dinner nor do I want you tired from school and do something strenuous. You can visit your mother and I can pick you up there if you wish." Someone's sweet and bossy at the same time today. Maybe this conversation is reserved for later.
"Okay, maybe if you have something in mind, I'm a text away. I'll have George take me to the hospital. You can go back to your meeting now." I don't know why I'm blushing nor fidgeting my hair for some reason. Why was I shy?
"Madison."
"Yes?"
"Don't hesistate in calling me. I can always make time for you even if I'm in the middle of business. You know that right?" No, I don't and that is rude.
"Okay. I will. You can go back to the board room."
"No need. I'm in the board room with everyone."
I felt all the blood drain from my system. This is embarrassing. "O-oh...okay. I'll catch you up later at home then."
"Yes, wife. I'll be home in a few hours. I'll see you then."
"Sure. Bye, husband." I say and hang up. I didn't bother to wait for what his reply would be because I know I'll end up disappointed.
After visiting mom, I did all my school works at home, and I decided on Chicken Parmigiana for dinner. Will came home exactly as I just finished setting the table. Somehow he was caught up with some work which is why he wasn't able to pick me up from the hospital as well. He kept asking me how my day was, and I told him it was okay, despite the comments I've been receiving from random people in intimate areas like the bathroom. I knew bringing it up would mean more security, so I let the small details slip.
That night and the nights after, we went to business.
----
We've been trying. A lot. And I do mean a lot. I didn't know he was serious about conceiving fast. I wasn't on birth control and my periods are regular, I mean why would I be even before meeting Will? So we've been thinking that this wasn't going to be hard.
I am not saying that I'm not enjoying every second.
I just want to point out that he's taking this very seriously. And I'm not complaining.
My head rests on his chest as we both catch our breaths, and I feel a pair of lips on my head for a brief second. Am I really ready for this? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Then a thought crossed my mind that this is not for me, this is for all our sakes's.
"What do you prefer?" I asked out of the blue.
"For dinner? Whatever's in the fridge would be fine." He huffs.
"That's not what I meant." I say, pushing myself up to meet his eyes. "I mean...when we do get pregnant, what would you prefer?"
He looks at me quizically. "That's a nonsense thing to ask, Madison. Of course, I don't mind any gender. Healthy is all I want, darling." He replies and gives me a quick kiss on the lips.
"Okay then..." I whispered.
"I really don't mind. Whatever will be given to us is enough. I just need you and the baby to be healthy, okay?" Another kiss, and another, and another, making me giggle. "There's that beautiful smile." And my heart tugs. Tell me you love me, please.
We've been trying for almost a month and a half now, and I think it's time to see if we've made any progress. "Maybe I'll do a test tomorrow." I say to Will.
"I bought some test kits, they're in the bathroom already." He replies. Then I felt the butterflies in my stomach.
I don't know what I'll feel after knowing the result. Will I be sad? Will I be happy? What happens when it goes negative?
"You're overthinking again, wife." My attention snaps back at Will.
"Sorry. I'm just nervous, I guess." I avoid his gaze.
"Don't be. Either way, we're in this together, Mads." A smile. I get his boyish attractive smile. In an instant, I felt safe...and he was hard. Not a while longer he was straddling me once more, and we were at it again.
----
"Madison, I need to apologize to you." Mom says as we were about to sit.
"Hello, to you too, mom." I replied sarcastically. "I love what you did with the apartment, though!" There wasn't any sarcasm there.
Mom and Megan moved into this huge apartment Will rented for them. At first, Will wanted a house, but knowing my family, an apartment was enough especially just for the two of them. Having them in our home was offered but I said so myself that a place of their own would suffice.
The apartment was decorated with pastel colored furniture and ornaments which made a brighter vibes for the dull place. Right now, we're just having an afternoon snack of chicken pesto and flat bread as I wait for Will to clock out from work. I spend Fridays at mom's.
"I need to apologize for my behavior especially when I found out you got married. I didn't mean to pressure you on having a baby, sweetheart. That was insensitive of me. Plus, I know I won't be able to see my grandchildren--"
"Mom, don't say that." I said in a stern voice which also caught Megan's attention. "We don't know that yet." then I suddenly my hunger actually grow as Megan began to place a plateful on each of our placemats. I took my fork and dug in, not waiting for prayer. I'm sure God could forgive me for this one time.
"I really am sorry, Madison. With what I'm seeing, I I can see you're quite happy with William. I thought one of these days, you'll beg to stay with us, but I can see that he makes you happy. And I never see you smile this much before, much less see you with any guy."
My focus was divided by the the chicken pesto, it has a weird taste to it.
"Will takes care of me well, mom. All of us are being well taken cared of by him. He's a good husband, and I couldn't ask for more." well, asking him to tell me he loves me would be more. Nevertheless, just thinking of what I said made my cheeks hurt in the best way possible. I know my cheeks would be a bright red color for saying those words.
"See? He loves you very much." she comments. I wish he does, and will say the words himself. But really, something's not right with the pesto so I at least tried to rinse the taste with water. Mom sees my discomfort. "Is something wrong?"
No one mustn't know that Will hasn't told me the three words yet. "I'm fine, mom. I just feel a bit off."
I felt Megan's inquisitiveness boiling as she stares at me in silence. A silent Megan means sister spillage later. Mom's concerned stare didn't help at all. A lot was going on and bottling up doesn't help.
I took a deep breath before speaking my mind. I don't know why but I was starting to feel angry. "Mom, what you were asking for wasn't offensive. You don't have to apologize for it. At first, it was a shock, but at the end of the day, I didn't take it too negatively. Will was delighted to hear it from you actually. He has a not-so-good background with his family. We weren't actually considering having one, but his mind was starting to change and he's starting to embrace the fact that we might have a family sooner or later. It's possible, mom. Don't worry."
Mom rose from her seat just to give me a much needed embrace. This was the kind of comfort money can never buy, and the kind I'll miss when she won't be around anymore. I wanted to cry and tell her everything, but I didn't have the guts to.
After that, we went back to our snack and everything was back to normal. Laughter, throwback stories, until I felt kind of off. I couldn't explain it. It was like a bad gut feeling and a flu coming all into one. I knew overthinking would be nothing but harm to the body. I only had an hour left of waiting, but I felt uneasy. I just want to go home.
"I'll walk you out, Mads." Megan offered. I knew it.
After kissing mom goodbye, Megan escorted me out. George was right behind the door. No matter what persuasion I've made, he wouldn't come inside. All of us went our way downstairs and Megan started to talk.
"What's really up, sis?" she asks, her eyes didn't help. She was definitely worried.
I eyed George and she scoffs and rolls her eyes. "I'll call you, I promise." I don't want to deal with this now, I have to come home.
"Mom and I worry about you. You know that right?" we reach the last floor and she follows me out of the building so we were now at the sidewalk.
"I know, but there's nothing big to worry about, Megan." I tried smiling to help the tension she's having because the tension I'm having is not a favorable one.
She lunges herself on me as if I was leaving for another country. "Call or text me, please." she pulls out of our embrace.
"Of course, I will." I smile and climbed inside the car.
The door closed and before I knew it we were off. I took another huff of air, and I started to feel as if my chest was being squeezed. Maybe this is just the jitters. Whatever this is, I need to relax and stop overthinking.
I got my phone out and called Will. He answered on the fourth ring.
"Hey, Mads. I'll be out thirty minutes early." I could hear him smiling.
I felt myself smile too. "That's great."
"You don't sound great. What's wrong?" now I'm making him worry about me.
"I'm just nervous, I guess. I don't know what I'm feeling exactly right now. Please don't pick me up from mom's, I'm on my way home." am I about to hyperventilate? I don't know.
"Oh, baby...I'll be home as soon as I can, okay? Please have George in the house with you while I'm not yet there." another tug on my heart.
"Yeah, I will. I guess I'll see you at home, Will." I say a mental prayer hoping he'd tell me now.
"On my way home, babe."
"Be safe." I say and he hangs up. "I love you." I whispered to the dead line, waiting for the arrival home.
"Would you like to stop by at a pharmacy, Madison?" George looks at the mirror to look at me.
"No thanks, George. I'd rather go home please." I replied and he obliged.
I arrived home and immediately made myself a cup of chamomile tea at the kitchen counter. George was keeping an eye on me as per instructions whilst reading the paper from this morning on a chair in the living room.
Maybe I chose the wrong tea. I lost interest on the second sip. I don't know what else to do but wait for Will to come home. Moments later I hear the door open and closed frantically, and Will was racing to where I was. He didn't looked worried, he looked panicked. His sweet lips kiss mine and I felt all the love and anxiety he's having because of my call.
"Are you really okay?" he held my face with both his hands. His eyes burning on mine.
"I'm scared." I whispered.
He takes a deep breath and tries to redeem himself. "You're not alone in this, Madison. I'm here, baby. I'm right here." he says and I nod in return. "Would doing it now mean you'd relax?"
"Let's get this over with." I say.
He takes both my hands and I stand up. With a step, I'm a step closer to the news of whether our plan was going well or not. "You can go back to your office, George. Thank you." he says at George and he leaves us alone in our bubble.
Will and I never released each other's hands until we reach our bedroom. He lets me sit down on the bed as he goes into the bathroom. Seconds later, he comes back with a box in his hands, and I felt the nerves again. I don't know what I'll do when it shows positive or negative. I don't know. I really don't. How should I feel?
He kneels down in front of me and places the box in my hands. "The moment of truth, Madison. We have to know." he says.
"What will happen after we find out?"
"I don't know. We'll see." looks like I'm not the only one who isn't sure of what's going to come.
"...okay." I say and I stand up. He sits on the bed this time and I make my way to the bathroom.
Finding myself in this moment at eighteen wasn't part of my life plan, but this isn't only for me. It's for everyone, I remind myself for the nth time. I open the box and read the instructions and I was off to do what I must. Pee on the stick.
After that, I close the cap and we just need to wait two minutes for the results. I couldn't just wait here. I set it on the counter near the sink and covered it with a washcloth. I don't want to see the results if it came early. Pacing didn't help, so I went to the bedroom.
Will was fiddling with his thumbs when I came in. "Any news?" he asks. Nervousness filled his voice.
"I already did it. We just need to wait." I say and sit beside him. He takes my hand and there we waited in the dim room with only the bathroom light open.
My head rested on his shoulder and he would kiss my hair, but our hands never parted as if life depended on it. Come to think about it, it will determine our future. If it's positive, then our plan is coming together, if not, we'll be trying all over again. It may sound simple, but I really don't know what to expect.
"We should take a look at it now." Will broke the silence.
We make our way in the bathroom together, and we face the counter. The washcloth still covered the result that would change all of our lives.
"We'll look at it together, okay?" he says, and I was just praying inside that whatever the result is, it will be the result that would make us grow. It was now or never.
We held both ends of the washcloth and we slowly pull it off.
Tears started to well up in my eyes.
Two clear lines.
"Oh, my God." those were the only words Will had to say before the tears started to roll down my cheeks. He holds my face again and kisses me over and over and over again. His smile was from ear to ear, as I laughed with the tears when he starts to lift me from my feet.
I crash my lips on his. There is no sadness from my tears, no regret feeling, no anger, just pure bliss and happiness. He swings me around and we laugh in between kisses.
We're pregnant.
"I love you." he says as he puts me down and smothers me with kisses all over my face to my neck and he settles on my stomach, giving it the longest kiss he could give.
He said it. He finally said it. The tears still rolled down. He said that he loves me. My husband loves me. Will loves me.
With one more kiss on the stomach, he stands up. "Why are you crying?" he asks. He's clueless about the situation, but that's okay. I can let this go. "I love you, wife." he kisses my tender lips passionately.
I kiss him back and I felt the tears subside and my need of him pushes through. "I love you too, husband." I mumble on his lips.
He smiles and we kiss again as he lifts me up on the counter and starts to remove my shirt. The rest is history. But we made love that night. And it was the best night we had so far.
**
Author's Note: hi, everyone!!!!! who's excited as I am?!
I apologize for the hiatus. A lot has happened the past two months since I left you guys with the last chapter. A week after posting the last chapter, my great-grandmother died out of old age at 100 years old. A week after that, my grandfather died from cancer. He was diagnosed last April, and we took him home because we couldn't do anything else to treat him. So the entire summer, we took care of him, and by the end of June, he left us.
It was an eventful last two months aside from that. A lot of other unfortunate things happened, and yeah, my depression didn't help either. I wanted to write, but I didn't have the energy to. It's been a hard four months for me. But yeah, things get better, and I know they would. I just want to thank you guys for still sticking by. I wish I could update more, but as a graduating college student, it's been a struggle. But please bear with me. I am doing my best to write despite everything.
Above is a picture of Will and Madison :)
If you guys wanna keep in touch with me here are my social media accounts:
IG: @ iamrhiafelicitas
Twitter: @ rhiafelicitas
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I love you guys so much!
LoveLots,
WanderingDancer x
(August 6, 2018 1:05am)