Sierra:
When Sierra got home she greeted her cats before she took a shower which gave her far too much time to think. She felt like she was betraying herself, she did not understand what this feeling was and it scared her. It felt like her control slipped through her fingers, and Sierra did not know why but she knew she did not like it. She felt powerless.
Sierra loved spending time with Ramin, it was nothing she loved more, but she did not understand what was happening. And the last thing she wanted was to make things awkward between them just because some stupid thoughts. Their friendship had been going on for a couple of years, it was extremely important to Sierra. Sure, she had a lot of friends but somehow it felt like the friendship with Ramin was more important. If it was to stop because of her, then she did not know what she would do with herself. Only the thought made an unpleasant lump in her stomach.
Just as she was done dressing, choosing the phantom of the opera 25th anniversary cast shirt, a pair of bright green yoga pants and putting her hair up in a messy bun she felt her phone bussing in her pocket. Picking it up she saw that it was her sister Allegra calling.
- Hello?
- Hi, it's me, Allegra. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going back to Denver tonight.
Woops, Sierra had totally forgotten that.
- Do you have time to meet up before I go? her sister said from the other side of the phone.
Sierra really wanted to meet her sister to say goodbye and it felt awful to not do it, but still, it was Ramin. Considering how conflicted Sierra had felt about him before she felt that it wasn't a good time to turn him down.
- I'm so sorry Allegra, but my night is already booked. But I can call him of if you want to but I rather not.
- It's all right, I should have told you earlier.
But Sierra thought she sounded a little bit disappointed, which did not help Sierra to get into a better mood. It became an awkward silence.
- No, it's all right, really; Allegra said after the short pause.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, but Sierra...
- Yes?
- Who is "him"?
Woops, again, thinking about last time Sierra and Allegra talked, this was not the conversation she wanted to have right now. This day was not going like she planned, at first everything was great then everything became better when Ramin came and asked if she wanted to do something. But then it seemed like Sierra needed to think about everything and now she did not feel in the mood for anything.
- Ramin asked if I wanted to do anything today. So yeah.
Sierra sounded nervous to even herself, but what Allegra was about present didn't have any truth in. Or did it, Sierra didn't honestly know. Allegra sounded voice was filled with "what did I tell you?" when she said;
- That's sweet, you told him about your feelings yet?
- I don't have feelings for him! Sierra said, finding herself upset for no reason.
- Then why are you so angry? Anyway, I gotta go, love you. And Sierra...
- Yes...
- Don't wait before it's too late to tell him.
Sierra stared at her phone for a moment. What did she mean by too late, would their friendship be destroyed by it, would he be angry? What was she even thinking? Sierra had nothing to tell him, but there was something in her stomach telling her otherwise.
Sierra tried to ignore what Allegra had claimed in her progress of waiting for the right time to go to Ramin, but something in her was so extremely at tense that she could not do anything. She and Ramin had decided upon seven but Sierra had been, well, nervous, even though she really could not figure out why, so she was done but the time was only a quarter over six. It did not feel right to call Ramin and wonder if she could come earlier, no, just wait. But the problem was that when she tried she could not concentre and her thought only flipped away to Ramin which couldn't be good, considering Allegra. Stop it Sierra! It's nothing, you are just overreacting, stop being like a teenage girl. To once again try to stop herself from thinking too much she scanned her room for the hundred time today trying to find anything to keep her occupied. Not that anything new suddenly plopped up since the last time she looked, but just as she was starting to give up she caught a glimpse of Oliva in the corner of her eye. The grey-reddish cat just ran into her living room. To be totally honest it was not her little darling that she cared about right know, it was the almost forgotten guitar in the corner of the room. Despite her father loving to play guitar she had never properly learnt it, she had tried but it somehow, she always ended up just singing the song without any chords. But right now, her tree song guitar was perfect for keeping herself occupied.
Sierra stared playing a song she kind of remembered in her head, wildflowers. She knew the first chord, but later it was harder. Luckily for her she had a good ear and after a little fipple got the right chords. It was way funnier this way than to just use the internet, and it was good training. Not just guitar but for singing as well. It was always good to keep on with the tuning. Sierra started singing the song softly to the chords. It was kind of embarrassing, but she was not used to this and found it kind of hard. Okey, she tried again, using a simple pattern, just down, down, down.
- The hills were ali... crap.
The instrument let out a, what to call it, grown. Sierra shifted place in her sofa, looking up exactly the right time to se Oliva walk out from the room. Great, even the cats thought this was strange. Sierra prepped herself for one more;
- The hills were ali...
Come on, the exact same place. Her father made it look so easy when he played, but the worst thing with this was that Sierra had known how to play this just some years ago when she, her father and Ramin had played it. Sierra smiled to herself thinking about how happy Ramin was with his banjo. He was always so cute when he got the chance to play broadgrass or other things alike, like a little boy on Christmas eve. A boy that had opened all of his presents and gotten that car he wanted, that superhero figure and the Star Wars pyjamas. Sierra could see those beautiful brown eyes of his... What? What... Sierra, what are you thinking? A little lump formed in Sierras stomach, maybe Allegra was right. Sierra did not want to let herself think about it anymore, so she left the guitar on her sofa storming out of the room to go to Ramin. The moment she placed down the instrument Oliva dared to go in again, which was a little, well typical. Come on, nothing was not going. Well, something felt like it had changed between Ramin and her, but the fact was that it all was in Sierras head. That was the last thought before she closed the door and stormed out in the cloudy but still warm weather.
Ramin:
He heard three light knocks on the door and hurried towards it to open for Sierra.
- Welcome mademoiselle; he said when he saw Sierra's shirt and gave her a bear hug.
- Thank you, monsieur; Sierra answered and giggled a little.
He stepped aside so she could come in. As she took off her shoes he couldn't take his eyes off her. Did she always look this beautiful? She used to have these kinds of clothes but still he felt like she had changed something. No, it was not the clothes, she still had those almost child kind of clothes, yoga pants in different bright colours and cute t-shirts with stuff like animals printed on them. What was it that was different then? Was it her hair? No, Ramin did not think so and he could not ask because that would be awkward. Trying not to make her uncomfortable by staring at her he said:
- So, what do you wanna do?
- On my birthday just before you came I talked with Norm and he taught me a new card trick! If you want to I could show you that; she immediately spat out, sounding really excited.
Sierras whole facial expression was so, well, cute. Her green eyes looking at his face, they seemed to send out some kind of positive light. For the second time today Ramin felt like it was something with Sierra he had not noticed before. Before his thought would go completely lost he said;
- I think I have a deck of cards somewhere in one of my bookcases.
Well, this whole scenario was so typical Sierra. Of course she had that fun random stuff to show him. But he didn't complain, he loved that side of her.
- I didn't know you had a hidden talent; he joked.
- There's much you don't know about me.
They laughed as they walked into his living room. Sierra was like an excited little child during the entire card trick; so proud of what she could do. But truth to be told, Ramin was kind of impressed as well. He had no clue how she did it, all of his card just disappeared into nothing from his hand and replaced with other. When he asked her how she did it she just gave him one of her biggest smiles and kept on doing what she was doing. Well, no comment then. He had tried to convince her at first but then he decided that she was far too cute when she was proud of herself, so he let her keep her secret. Sierra seemed pleased by his choice, but she still had that cute little wicked smile on her face, the one letting him know that she new something that he did not know. Ramin found himself thinking that Sierra was so adorable today. Had she always been, well, THIS adorable?
After Sierra had showed him her card trick they somehow, as they always did, sat in his sofa far too close to each other, him holding his guitar as they sang different songs. Ramin knew that Sierra liked doing it with him though. Normally she only sang the song she was practicing without any music to because she felt like the joy or whatever was taken away if she needed to concentrate on playing. Like all music people, she knew how to play a little of everything. But she had told him many times that playing an instrument was not really her thing, which did not make sense since she had so good ear. But anyway, he could see her joy to finally get some music to the singing without having to do anything. Right now, they had just finished their favourite "Love Never Dies" song "Once Upon Another Time" as Sierra exclaimed:
- Ramin!
He loved the way she said his name. Not that she pronounced it differently, but something in the way she said his name made him feel happy. Thinking about it, it wasn't only the way she said his name, but also hearing his name said by her made him happy. Was that weird?
- Sierra! he laughed.
- Do you remember the chords for "Poison and Wine"?
Ramin recalled sitting in her apartment some years ago filming for his vlog, vlogger 24601, for Broadway.com. They had loved that song even then and decided together that they could sing it. Ramin hadn't had much ideas for what he was supposed to do, so singing was a safe card on the vlogs.
- Of course I do. Shall we sing it?
- Yes, that was what I wanted to at least.
She gave him a huge smile which he immediately returned as he started to play the first chords of the song.
- You only know what I want you to; he started.
- I know everything you don't want me to.
- Your mouth poison, your mouth is wine.
- You think your dreams are the same as mine.
- I don't love you, but I always will; they sang in unison.
Their voices fitted perfectly together, and he really enjoyed singing with her. Especially when they sang love songs, he didn't know why but it felt so right to sing about love with her. He knew it sounded weird and wrong, but it was still true.
- I wish you'd hold me when I turn my head; she continued.
- The less I give, the more I get back.
- Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise.
- I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you; this line was his absolute favourite.
- I don't love you, but I always will; they sang until the end of the song
As he stopped playing he realised that they had locked eyes, and they literary stared into each other's eyes. Her green eyes sparkled with happiness and he felt like he could sit there for eternity just looking into them. When he gazed into them a weird feeling appeared in his stomach. Suddenly Sierra broke their eye contact and looked down at her hands blushing. He felt really bad for making her creeped out by all of his staring, but decided to not make the situation awkward and said:
- So, how about eating out tonight?
- Yeah, sure. That would be great! she replied.
- Then I'm just gonna get my wallet and we're out; he said with a quick smile and left the room to find his wallet.
Even though Ramin had a car he obeyed Sierra's will to walk to the restaurant. Partly because it wasn't really dinner-time yet, but also because Sierra didn't want to poison the environment and he didn't want to make her sad. When Sierra said "I don't want to poison the environment" she meant that she didn't want to hurt the animals and this, in Ramin's eyes, made Sierra look even more adorable. As they walked down the streets in NYC their hands somehow connected, and they walked together, hand in hand until they found a vegan/vegetarian friendly place to eat that wasn't too expensive.