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chapter thirteen
H IS FOR HUMILATION
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LENA'S LEGS DANGLE OFF of the edge of the building. She and Peter have been silent the entire time, sitting beside each other on the ledge of the skyscraper but choosing not to discuss the incident that had just occurred. She wouldn't describe the tension as thick, but it's certainly not normal.
Lena opens her mouth to speak and finds that her words are trapped in her throat. She waits a few moments, open-mouthed like a dork, until she finally pushes her mask off of her face and rests it on top of the wig.
"Are you okay?" she asks, voice hesitant in case he snaps at her. He's been filled with negative energy from the moment Tony showed up at the ferry. She can tell he's embarrassed and humiliated that they'd failed at their task.
"Yeah," Peter responds quietly. He stares down at his feet as they swing before saying again, "Yeah. Are you?"
"Mmm-hmm," she hums, trying to hide her relief that they'd both escaped the scene unharmed. "Psychologically, no, but physically, yes."
He doesn't crack a grin at her half-joke. Lena bites her lip and glances away.
She can see the ferry being towed across the Upper Bay by another boat. From the top of the building, it looks relatively fine, meaning Tony had done an unbelievably good job putting it back together. She tries not to think about the cars that are sinking to the bottom or the possessions that may never be recovered. The incident must have been traumatizing to the people aboard.
Strangely enough, Lena has never been afraid of heights. The only thing causing her slight pulses of fear is her relatively close proximity to the water. Her hands betray her by trembling as both a result of her abilities and her fright, so she clenches them into fists in her lap and pointedly avoids looking at the bay. It's pretty hard, considering it's surrounding them, but they'd chosen this building to brood on because they could still see the ferry.
A helicopter soars above them. It's the only sound except for one that sounds vaguely similar to a jet and gets louder as it approaches them. Lena leans backward on the ledge to see the Iron Man suit hovering behind them.
She's been preparing herself for this, but apparently hadn't done a good job, because the first words out of Tony's mouth send her heart sinking downward like the cars at the bottom of the bay.
"Previously, on Peter and Havoc Screw the Pooch," he says. "I tell you two to stay away from this. Instead, you hack a multi-million-dollar suit so you can sneak around behind my back doing the one thing I told you not to do."
"First of all, she had nothing to do with that." Peter's voice trembles, so he swallows before continuing. "Is everyone okay?"
"No thanks to you."
Ouch. Lena glances down and considers hurtling into the water below to avoid this conversation.
Peter, however, turns his head to look back at the suit. "No thanks to us?" He hops down from the ledge. "Those weapons are out there and we tried to tell you about it but you didn't listen. None of this would have happened if you had just listened to us!" His voice rises to a shrill yell as he walks closer to the suit, releasing a wry chuckle before he speaks again. "If you even cared, you'd actually be here."
Lena's heart gives a lurch as the Iron Man mask snaps open. However, instead of revealing the hollow inside of a helmet, the face of Tony Stark himself stares back at Peter. The rest of the suit folds itself outward so he can step out of it and onto the rooftop. Tony's expression is blank, though she can detect levels of disappointment she'd never wanted to see on his face.
She glances down at the bay again. Would it really be that far?
Tony sniffles as Peter backs away in shock, losing his courage immediately. "I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh?"
Lena swings her legs around the ledge and softly pushes herself onto the ground with Peter's mask in-hand. Her footsteps don't make any noise as she slowly walks closer, forcing herself not to wring her hands like she does when she gets chastised by her parents. This feels a lot like that. Except, instead of her parents, it's one of the most influential men on the planet, and she can't use her puppy eyes to get out of this one.
Tony continues walking forward, but this time, she doesn't think she's included in the conversation. "Do you know that I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a fourteen-year-old kid."
"I — I'm fifteen," Peter corrects quietly.
"No, this is where you zip it!" Tony exclaims, making a zipping formation with his hand. "Okay? The adult is talking. What if somebody had died tonight? What if, God forbid, something happened to her again?" Lena's blood freezes when he briefly motions in her direction. "Different story, right? Because that's on you. And if you died, I'd feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience."
Lena glances to the side, her mind traveling back to their conversation the night before. Peter's very fear had been her getting hurt, and now it's being thrown back in his face.
"Okay, sir, I'm sorry," he stammers. The tips of his ears are beginning to turn pink.
Tony shrugs, a gesture she's seen her father make a hundred times. "Sorry doesn't cut it."
"I understand, but... I wanna be like you."
"And I wanted you to be better."
Peter glances down in shame. Lena shifts her weight, balling the mask into her fists nervously.
"Okay, it's not working? I'm gonna need the suit back."
"For how long?" Peter questions.
"Forever."
Peter shakes is his head, shoulders slumping and voice filling with desperation. "No, no, no, no. Please, please, please."
Lena finds herself clutching the mask even tighter. She slowly backs away, but Tony holds out a hand to her expectantly and causes her to stop in her tracks. "Let's have it."
"You don't understand," Peter says. He chooses his words carefully. "This is all I have— I'm nothing without this suit."
Tony stops altogether, pointing a finger at the younger boy. "If you're nothing without that suit, then you shouldn't have it, okay? God, I sound like my dad."
"I don't have any other clothes," Peter mumbles.
Tony finally glances at Lena before his eyes dart back to him. "Okay, we'll sort that out."
-♕-
Peter stands, cheeks flushing a bright red, with the bottom of his new shirt clenched in his fists. It's several sizes too big and says I survived my trip to NYC over a picture of a cartoon taxi. The pants Tony had chosen are a pair of red and pink pajama pants that are loose on his legs.
Lena, with her own mask back on her face, examines him from head-to-toe. "You look comfortable."
He does, but doesn't reply and instead twists his mouth to the side. Tony had left them outside of a souvenir shop and taken the suit with him. She had offered to buy herself stupid clothes so Peter would feel less left out, but realized she didn't have any money with her. Graham has her backpack and thus her wallet.
"I could... fly you home," she proposes hesitantly when he doesn't respond to her lighthearted comment.
Peter shakes his head silently.
"Okay," she says, leaning against the brick wall of the alleyway they're in. Finally, unable to keep quiet about it anymore, she begins, "Look, Peter—"
"Lena, I'm really not in the mood to hear a motivational speech right now," he cuts her off in a thick voice. He rubs a hand along his cheek, avoiding her gaze so she might not notice the tears beginning to pool in his eyes.
Lena does notice, but chooses not to comment on it. She nods in understanding. "Okay."
Peter drags in a sigh that moves his shoulders with the force of his exhale. "I'm just going to take the subway."
Lena knows that'll take hours. It must be at least six o'clock in the evening by now, meaning he won't get back until late. She doesn't point this out— maybe the long way home is exactly what he needs. And, anyway, he doesn't seem to want to talk at the moment.
She turns, about to blast herself into the air, before pausing. "Peter, for what it's worth, I..." Her heart stutters. "I think you're something without the suit."
Lena abruptly flies away before he can reply. A million other things she could have said pop into her brain, running through her mind like they're participating in a marathon. You're the smartest person I know. You're dorky in the cutest way. I've seen you solve a calculus problem without blinking. You're so kind and thoughtful. You can always make me laugh. You helped me in my biggest hour of need and made sure I was okay, gifting me with clothes and safety. That doesn't sound like nothing.
As she approximates the direction that Queens is, only one thought follows afterward: Oh no.
She's had dumb crushes that lasted for a few days because someone had smiled at her or touched the small of her back to move past her. To her recollection, this hadn't happened with Peter. But nothing could have prepared her for the sadness lurking in her heart when Tony had taken the suit, or the way it would squeeze in pain upon seeing his crestfallen expression. And now it's too late to stop the train hurtling at her— especially because he's clearly head-over-heels for Liz.
Instead of going home, Lena changes course so she's heading toward Graham's apartment complex. As soon as she hits Queens, she drops back to the ground and uses her boost to sprint instead of fly. She can feel the energy in her veins thanking her. In fact, she's surprised she's lasted this long at all without them giving out like they had the night of Liz's party. She'd exerted the most power she'd ever had at once when trying to piece the ferry back together. Maybe she'll wake up tomorrow and feel the exhaustion.
Graham opens his window mere seconds after she knocks. Silently, Lena tumbles in, laying sprawled out on his floor for a moment before accepting his hand to help her to her feet.
"Are you okay?" he questions as he examines her closely. "My entire family was watching the news. You two could have been killed."
"I know," she sighs, sitting down on his mattress. "But we're both okay— mostly. I, uh, I met Tony Stark."
Graham's eyes nearly bug out of his head. "What?"
Lena places a finger over her mouth to shush him, listening intently to see if one of his younger twin brothers will suddenly burst into the room upon hearing his exclamation. There's nothing but the faint hum of the television in the living room. She sighs in relief.
"First, can I have my clothes?" she questions, pulling her wig and mask off.
"Oh, yeah." Graham turns around and opens her backpack at the foot of his desk. He pulls out the clothes she'd worn at school, tossing them to her before turning around to face his door. "So, care to describe your experience meeting an actual, literal Avenger?"
"It wasn't that great," she replies as she peels the suit off and tugs her jeans on first. "All we did was get yelled at. Probably rightfully so, because he called the FBI and we almost had a reenactment of the Titanic, except the iceberg was an alien weapon. He hardly looked at me." She pauses after putting one arm through the sleeve of her jacket. "Peter got his suit taken away."
"Really?" Graham asks with a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Is this where the tale of Havoc and Spider-Man comes to an end? My dreams were short-lived."
Lena thinks back to how despondent he'd looked in his loosely-fitting clothes. "I don't know. He had that shitty suit before Mr. Stark gave him that upgrade, but something tells me he's going to lay low for a while."
"Are you?"
"Maybe." She shrugs. "Unless something big comes up, I won't involve myself with the stupid Vulture dude. Mr. Stark made it perfectly clear how disappointed he was in us. Maybe I'll go back to small crimes. You can turn around now."
Graham obeys, collapsing into his spinning desk chair and turning to face her. "By the way, you're staying overnight. I told your parents we're studying for a Gov test."
Lena groans as she remembers she hasn't done any of her homework yet. Even though her superhero life has flipped upside down by the ferry and meeting Tony Stark, her regular life is still moving onward whether she wants it to or not.
Everything has happened so quickly. Barely a month ago, Peter had been an acquaintance, someone she kind of knew but wouldn't really hang out with one-on-one. They'd become closer on accident. Now, they have some sort of weird unspoken pact to protect each other. Isn't that what team members do?
But since becoming partners, their trouble has doubled. She'd almost died, gotten on Tony Stark's radar, almost died again, had a casual conversation with a criminal, almost sunk a ferry, met Tony Stark for real, and then realized, shit, her partner's actually more cute than she'd previously thought. All in the span of a few weeks.
"Do you think Mrs. Warren will let me skip out on the Physics homework?" she asks as he lugs her insanely heavy backpack toward her. "I technically did almost die from a falling elevator in front of everyone."
Graham shoots her an unimpressed look. "You love Physics. It's AP Gov I'd skip out of."
Lena grins at him, taking out her AP Calc binder. Her smile fades when she catches sight of her friend's arm where it rests on his desk. Even though it isn't that dark in the room, his elbow seems to disappear in the shadows covering it.
"Graham, can you hand me your calculator?" she questions casually. "I forgot mine."
"Sure." He bends down to sift through his bag for it. When his arm slips off of the desk, she notices that his elbow is perfectly intact. Her eyes close as she blinks hard. They're playing tricks on her.
_____
tony stepping out from the suit is the most majestic thing i've ever seen in my entire existence
hopefully you understand what's happening to lena. you ever get a sudden crush where it's like "no. oh no. nonononOnOnONO" because that's basically what's going on. she's always thought peter was cute (she directly calls him that in ch1 and also says he's adorable in ch6) but now it's Serious.
the next few weeks are going to be super super busy for me so i may not update for a while! i just thought i'd let you guys know ahead of time
-kristyn