The following day, Jisoo didn't show up for literature again.
Minhyuk swallowed down the thickness in his throat, his stomach sinking an inch further each time he turned to glance at her empty seat. He fidgeted in his own, finding it hard to keep still. It was frustrating. He was worrying for nothing. She seemed completely fine when they parted ways - but that didn't stop his mind from racing.
Everyone's body processed drugs differently and it had been obvious it was her first time taking any type of drug recreationally. He shook his head vigorously, as if he could eject the thoughts in his brain that way. In reality, it resulted in nothing more than his platinum blonde hair blocking his vision.
"I'm beyond worried, Jihye. I haven't heard from Jisoo and she's not the type to stay silent when she's absent. At least, not with me," The tall lanky guy that sat next to him whispered toward his girlfriend. Minhyuk slowly and calculatingly moved his hair out of his face.
"Hyungwon, calm down. I'm pretty sure she just came down with something. She'll be fine." Minhyuk watched as Jihye continued to assure her Hyungwon, smoothing down his hair where he had previously run his hand through it. Various things didn't sit right with Minhyuk when it came to that couple. From his observations so far, he gathered that Jihye was obviously manipulative, but Jisoo seemed important to Hyungwon. So, why was this Hyungwon guy such a coward? If he wasn't going to check on Jisoo, then who was supposed to?
Again, no. She had parents and possibly other friends that would surely be concerned about her. It was her fault for not informing herself on what she was taking, anyway.
It had nothing to do with him.
He huffed out a frustrated breath and pouted into his mask, choosing to lay his head down on his arms. The worksheet that he had been assigned to do wouldn't get done in this state of mind anyway.
"I wonder if it'll really be okay. Jisoo didn't look so well these past few days. Plus, we were supposed to have a sleepover tomorrow." Hyungwon avoided eye contact with Jihye as he uttered his last sentence and Minhyuk squinted his eyes in realization. Hyungwon hadn't told his girlfriend about his plans. His and Jisoo's plans. "Now, why would that be?" Minhyuk mouthed as he sunk further into his arms, trying his best to seem inconspicuous.
Coward.
Jihye in turn, had gone red in the face. Her pale complexion along with her apparent temper left nothing to the imagination. "A sleepover?!" She whisper-yelled at Hyungwon. "Are you forgetting that she's a female and that we're currently dating, Hyungwon?" She continued as Hyungwon's jaw worked, visibly pissed himself. "Yes, actually, because she's just a friend. I don't think of her that way. I think of her as my best friend and nothing else."
If either of them went to check on Jisoo, all that Minhyuk could foresee was a disaster. An emotional one that Jisoo didn't need if she was still suffering from side effects, and if he could prevent it, he was going to.
Minhyuk shot up from his seat in the middle of their lovers spat as Jisoo's name was thrown every which way. He grabbed his bag and stuffed his worksheet in it before walking out of the classroom. He couldn't function like this, but it wasn't rational for him to want to make sure she was okay to this extent either. He knew absolutely nothing about the girl.
Although deep down, he was aware of exactly why he was a nervous wreck about her.
And it made him sick.
---------------------
"Shouldn't you be in class?" The woman behind the computer eyed Minhyuk.
He had taken off his mask and hoodie on the way there, hoping he could be more convincing if he looked less menacing.
"Yeah, but my teacher wanted me to deliver some homework to an absent classmate after school. He said I should come before I forget and that you could give me the address." Minhyuk gathered all his energy to smile brightly.
It was draining and hurt his cheeks.
"Who's the student?" Minhyuk looked away from the name placard at the edge of her desk. "Jisoo."
The woman behind the computer, Miss Kang as Minhyuk had just learned, continued to stare at him blankly. Minhyuk started to feel a cold sweat break out at the back of his neck.
"Last name?" Miss Kang raised an eyebrow, clearly not amused.
Shit. He didn't know her last name!
How incredibly stupid could he get?!
He looked over to the wall at his right, his panicked eyes reflected on the picture frame's glass across from him. The planets of the milky way galaxy were pictured inside the frame, detailed descriptions of each one included.
"I'm Moon Jisoo."
Ah, right... Moon.
It was Moon.
Her smile and hand, the hug... everything about her had been so bright and warm.
She was always warm.
"Moon," He mumbled out, still staring at the picture, not quite sure if what he said was even audible.
"What was that?" Miss Kang said as she now chewed on a piece of gum noisily. He turned to her, snapping out of whatever that had been and replied, "Moon."
---------------------
She lived far.
Much farther than he did from their school and that was saying a lot.
"What a pain," He said as he got off the bus.
As he looked around him, he began to realize where he was. He had been to this area quite often before, recognizing the convenience store him and his brothers had often frequented. That had been quite a while ago...
As he made his way to her house, he found memories popping up at random. He shook out his head and resorted to staring at the ground, putting his hood on to block his view. He didn't need reminders of everything that had been good in his life and couldn't have anymore.
By the time he arrived at her front door step, it was already lunch time and he was starving. He had half a mind to run off and grab something, but he knew he wouldn't even be able to eat without finding out if she was okay first.
He pushed the doorbell with his index finger and fixed his mask. She lived in a quiet cul-de-sac, unlike the apartments he and his brothers had grown up in. As run down as the area and houses seemed, it gave off an aura of coziness. He missed that about this place.
The seconds seemed to go slowly as no one answered. The ball in his throat was hardly letting him breathe and now his stomach was twisting painfully. Was no one home? Was that it?
He sighed and went for a second attempt, when the door opened, the doorbell's sound reverberating between them both as they stood there.
There she was in all her glory, clad in pajamas and hair frayed in all directions. Minhyuk didn't really know what he had expected of Moon Jisoo, but this was hardly it.
"M-Min-" She stuttered before looking down at herself and nearly shutting the door in his face, choosing to only poke out half of her face behind it instead. He stood there visibly surprised, not knowing what to say. His brain hadn't planned out the possibility of her being okay. He had thought the worst.
"What are you doing here?!" Her voice sounded rough, but he could tell the tone was of complete embarrassment. "How did you get my address?!" Minhyuk flinched a fraction at her shrill voice. It just kept going higher in pitch.
He continued to stand there, hands in the front pocket of his black hoodie as he stared at her. What possible explanation could he give her? The actual reason for coming to see her was selfish and he knew she wouldn't understand.
"Why didn't you come to school today?" He blurted, eyes piercing through her own as she peeked around the door, her full face coming into view again.
Now that he had time to take a good look at her, she did look ill. Severe bags under her eyes that looked like bruises, a fresh sweat upon her forehead, eyes still dilated and bloodshot. He felt a familiar itch at the back of his neck, his right-hand twitching inside his hoodie pocket.
He hadn't been completely wrong.
The weight he had felt earlier grew heavier now, pressing down on his shoulders and threatening to drown him alive.
-----------------------
"I didn't go because...."
I feel like absolute shit.
Jisoo felt a miserable laugh bubble up in her throat. Hyungwon would have said something about her language if she had said that. She looked up at Minhyuk, who was staring at her with an odd expression... Almost as if he were lost.
She didn't understand anything.
All she understood was that he wasn't Hyungwon and that meant she didn't have to hold back to appeal to him.
She steeled herself before replying, knowing full well that this could also be a hallucination. She had been having short bursts of them all morning. It's like they were almost gone but were clinging to everything they could in order to stay.
"I didn't go because I feel like shit. If it wasn't apparent," She said, opening the door fully again. Her head was throbbing horribly by this point and he had already seen her, so what was the point in hiding?
"Where are your parents?" He asked, squinting at her.
"Can we just... Can you come inside or something? The suns out and it's too bright." She backed up to let him in, but he hesitated. She saw him visibly gulp before he rushed in past her.
Real or not, she was too tired to figure him out today.
She slumped down on the couch, curling into a ball and patting the spot next to her lightly.
"My parents won't be home for a good while, so don't worry about it," She said, noticing how weak her voice sounded.
"You're fine with letting a stranger into your home, without your parents around? Are you nuts?" Minhyuk snapped at her as he sat down, concern evident in his eyes. Maybe he wasn't as hard to read as she had thought.
"After what you did for me yesterday, I hardly see you as a threat. Plus, I really don't have the energy for all these questions, so can we just get straight to the point?" She whined, grabbing her temples with her thumb and middle finger.
She felt the couch lift a little and opened her eyes. Minhyuk was gone. She could hear some noises coming from the kitchen, but it was blocked by the wall the couch was against. Jisoo stopped massaging her temples and thought for a minute. What if he really was dangerous? What if he came back with a knife from the kitchen or something?! Her mind began to race as she heard his footsteps coming closer.
He was coming back!
As much as it hurt to move, she scrambled up and pressed herself against the corner of the couch, pillow at the ready to deck him right as he rounded the corner.
Minhyuk appeared and she raised the pillow menacingly, ready to hit her target when he looked up at her and stopped dead in his tracks, a bag full of ice in one of his hands.
She audibly gasped in the silence that ensued.
It had to be the DPH still, right? She wasn't usually this damn paranoid!
She then watched as Minhyuk backpedaled out of her sight.
Oh god... How could she doubt him like that? After everything he had done and was apparently still willing to do, even though they weren't remotely close?
Then, she heard it.
A faint giggle. So faint, she swore she was hallucinating. She had to be hallucinating it all, because why would he just giggle? But then, the giggle turned into a full-blown laugh.
Jisoo cautiously walked over to where Minhyuk was leaning against the wall, bag of ice in his sweater-pawed hand as his chest heaved and his eyes disappeared.
If this was a hallucination, then she wished she could see his laugh. His complete laughing face.
He rolled his head over to look at her, still giggling as he said, "What was that about?! Your face was priceless!"
It had to be a hallucination. How could someone so guarded let themselves be this way around a stranger?
She reached over to his left ear, brushing his soft skin and strikingly beautiful hair, and pulled the mask string off gently. It fell so quickly that she hadn't prepared herself for the stunning smile that stared right back at her, before the shock set in.
"What are you doing?" He whispered, his eyes wide and boring into hers. Her parted lips felt like they should be sucking in some type of air to help her breathe, but it felt like nothing was being inhaled into her lungs at all.
"I..."
"H-Here...put this on your head and take these pills. You should feel better by tomorrow, so you better come to school." He handed her the ice and pills and grabbed his bag up from off the floor.
And then he was out the door.
She was left there with a throbbing headache and a sudden realization of panic that he had been real, and that she had not once, but twice, invaded his personal space.
All she could do was stand there, completely mortified.
--------------------
His heart wouldn't slow down. It was beating so fast against his chest he felt like it might explode.
Why was she so spontaneous? Why couldn't he calculate what she'd do in order to avoid it? And worst of all, why was she always so inviting and warm?
And bright just like the moon.
It had to be because he wasn't used to people touching him anymore. He wasn't used to receiving affection. He wasn't used to being close to anyone in any way.
That was on purpose.
And he would keep it that way.
He ran the rest of the way home, hoping that his rapidly beating heart would tire out as soon as he got home.
---------------------
The bell rung out, signaling the end of first period. Minhyuk shot up from his seat and stuffed his thick and heavy literature book into his bag, hoping to make a quick escape.
He heard some rather loud footsteps trailing behind him and knew he shouldn't dare turn around, for fear of who it would be.
"Hey! Wait up!"
He felt his skin crawl at the sound of her voice. The way she had touched him without a single hint of hesitation, the way her careful hand had sent shivers down his spine yesterday... All of it still haunted him. To the point where he couldn't sleep last night. His heart sped up every time he thought about it, like he was now.
He coughed in hopes of slowing it down and found it sort of worked, so he tried it a second time.
It was odd, he thought, how he used to be the affectionate friend. Much like she seemed to be... but things were different now.
"What is it?" He mumbled through his mask as he continued his now unpredictable journey to his second period. The unpredictability was her.
"I-" She began, catching her breath. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about a few things after school."
No. Definitely not. Things were not about to play out like this. He refused.
"I'm busy," He retorted, emotionless. It wasn't a lie, either. He had things to do.
"Really?"
Whatever you do, don't look at her, he reminded himself.
"Really," He deadpanned, wishing she'd just leave. As the new student, everyone had treated him like he was some sort of shiny object that they could flock to and gush over. Yet, the rest of them had quickly realized that he wasn't the type that liked the attention, so, why hadn't she?
They had arrived at the double doors that led to the boy's locker room and Minhyuk sighed. People would see them together and it was making him restless. "Is there something else?" He said as he leaned on the wall next to the doors, gripping his backpack strap with more force than necessary.
She inhaled a sharp breath, as if what she was about to say was difficult for her. "It's just..." She glanced around them before continuing, "You seem to know a lot about DPH and I... want to know more." The embarrassed blush that crept up her cheeks could be described as adorable, but what made him snigger was the fact that she had whispered DPH.
He suddenly wondered how lanky boy even dealt with her in the first place.
"And I also want to apologize for a few things... So..." She trailed off, her eyes downcast as she fiddled with the straps of her backpack.
Minhyuk looked to the side and could see the mob of people heading for the lockers, which meant he didn't have much time. He locked eyes with her from his position on the wall before lifting off it and leaning in close to whisper, "Meet me at Tease Café after school." He left her then, not bothering to look back.
--------------------
"Hey, I can't come today. Something came up... Sorry."
"Really?" Hyungwon breathed out, a hint of disappointment in his tone, but more dominant than that was the relief. It sliced right through her and she squeezed her eyes shut at the pain in her chest.
But she knew better. It was apparent that he had fought with Jihye. When she had come to class this morning, they weren't talking to each other and they hadn't come in together either. Jisoo had decided not to bring it up.
"Yeah. Raincheck?" She muttered, a loud yawn escaping her at the same time. She heard him chuckle and her heart began to thump at an alarming rate, effectively waking her up from her moment of drowsiness. It was amazing how she could experience pain and excitement all in the span of a few seconds because of him. "You seemed tired today, so I understand. Get some rest, okay Mu?"
"Yeah. Thanks, turtle. Love you."
Jisoo hung up the phone before the conversation could drag on any longer. She tried to focus on something of more importance than the ache in her lungs.
She was on her way to the café Minhyuk had mentioned. When she had looked it up on her phone, she found out it wasn't close to school, but closer to her house. Which meant she was currently on a bus to get there. She wondered how Minhyuk was getting there...
Her heart came back to its natural rhythm and she exhaled a sigh of relief.
She didn't know how much longer she could deal with the constant ache in her heart that came from everyone she loved. Maybe that's why she wanted to know more about DPH.
Would it be so bad to run away from everything? To not have to deal with all the jumbled emotions that plagued her daily?
Then a thought caressed her mind. A whisper that struck every nerve in her body.
Maybe she just didn't love herself enough to let go of what harmed her.
----------------------
Chin resting on his palm, Minhyuk admired his new bike from the café window. After his last one had been stolen, he hadn't had the money for a new one.
"So, do you like it?"
Minhyuk looked up at Wonho, a wide smile blinding him in the process. Minhyuk simply nodded and bowed in gratitude. "Thanks. You didn't have to."
"You know you're like a brother to me. And even though you've changed how you are with us, we're still going to love you all the same, Minhyuk. Don't forget that." Wonho kept a slight smile on his lips as he set Minhyuk's mocha frappuccino down in front of him.
Minhyuk knew that he was hurting everyone that loved him, but he could only hope they would understand that this was something he needed to do to stay sane. And that meant distancing himself from everyone. His brothers. His friends. His family. There was someone who needed him, and he would be there no matter what. He didn't have time to think of anyone else.
But he was grateful. He also hoped that one day, when and if he'd ever be okay again, that he could repay his brothers for everything.
No, he definitely would.
"Hey! Were you waiting long?"
Minhyuk jumped in his seat, not expecting the sudden loud voice. Jisoo really would be the death of him.
"Jesus, could you be any louder?" He replied, irritated. He looked around the café, observing how all the patrons were distracted by their incredibly handsome waiters, then made his way back to Jisoo.
The flush in her cheeks became an even deeper hue of pink as she tried to regain her regular rhythm of breathing. Minhyuk swallowed hard and reached for his frappuccino. "Did you run here or what?" He said after a sip. She was sitting now, her clothes and hair a disheveled mess.
"Uh, kind of? I ran here as soon as I got off the bus, so..." She said, fidgeting with her fingers.
Cute? Minhyuk thought briefly before snapping out of it just in time. He didn't have his mask on anymore, not seeing the point with Jisoo, but that also meant his pale complexion was just as vulnerable as that vulture Jihye's. Embarrassment was an awfully apparent emotion on his face.
"So, what did you want to know?" He gritted out, gripping his chair in hopes of controlling the way his heartbeat was speeding up. He was starting to hate the way Jisoo made him feel. He didn't need it. All he needed was to just get this over and done with, so he'd never have to speak to her again.
"You don't have your mask on." He took his gaze up from where his hand was painfully still gripping his chair to look at her. A gummy smile that felt like a punch in the gut stared right back at him. He slammed his fist on the table and put his head down. "You're way too shameless..."
"A-Ah, about that.... I'm sorry. I really am. I was just...I thought I was still under the influence a bit. I thought I was hallucinating the whole thing, you know? Because, honestly, it didn't really make sense! How would you have gotten my address and out of everything just to make sure a stranger like me was okay? To take care of me? I just... I've never met anyone so kind before. Especially towards someone they don't know. But that doesn't make it okay. So, I'm sorry for invading your personal space twice."
He thought for a moment, taking it all in. It was true that he had minded it, but he wanted to laugh more than anything.
"You..." Minhyuk began as he repositioned his head on the table to look at her, "Really know how to blather on. Did you even breathe during that whole thing?" He hid his soft smile behind his arm.
Jisoo sat there, clearly mortified and stunned. He stayed silent a moment longer before sighing out, "I'll forgive you if you get to the point of this meeting."
Regaining her composure, she searched for something in her sweater before extending her hand across the table to where he could see it easily. She opened her hand and in the middle was a tiny vial, the kind used to keep DPH in. "I want to know more about it, like dosing and all the basics. I was hoping you could help me."
He reached out for the vial, unintentionally brushing against her hand with his fingertips. She flinched at the contact but kept her hand there a second longer before retracting it back into the pocket of her sweater. He got up from the table and examined the vial. "Where did you get this?" He said, his voice hoarse. He had an idea, but he wanted to make sure.
If he was right, though, that meant that he had singlehandedly introduced her to it. He felt the bile in his stomach rise to his throat.
"I guess I should apologize for that too. I knew it was yours and I had planned on returning it to you, when-"
"When what?" He concentrated on the vile in his hand, feeling like he'd throw up if he looked anywhere else.
No response. Minhyuk inhaled a deep breath. "When what, damnit?"
He took a chance and looked up at her, but she was staring off at something outside.
Minhyuk slowly took his gaze to the right, where the window's clear, pristine glass reflected her shocked face along with who was outside.
------------------------
"You know, do we really have to come this far for our dates Wonnie?"
Hyungwon stared off into the distance, his mind filled with nothing but worry for his best friend. He couldn't even pretend to be present anymore. Jisoo didn't seem like herself these days and he was starting to feel an unbearable ache. He missed his best friend.
"Babe?" Hyungwon felt Jihye staring up at him and decided it was better to look alive than tell her what he was thinking. "Huh?" He replied with a tight smile.
She smiled back and continued, as she always did. "I was just saying do we really have to go this much out of our way to go on dates? It's so far!" She whined into his arm, feigning fatigue.
"I just know a lot of good places around here," He replied, remembering how he would often visit Jisoo right after she moved. He and Jisoo would run around this town and wreak havoc. It was the next town over from where she currently lived, and they always used that as an excuse. They didn't live there, so if they got in trouble it didn't matter.
They really were idiots back then.
"Wait, isn't that Jisoo?" Jihye exclaimed, and Hyungwon felt his heart shoot up into his throat.
"Where?" He said, trying his best to act calm when he was anything but. He was excited. Then he remembered how tired she had seemed and felt a crushing weight come down on him again. It couldn't possibly be her.
"Over there, across the street at that café," She pointed towards the glass. He couldn't really make anything out, but he knew for a fact that Jihye had eagle eyes. "Wanna go look?" She asked but dragged him along before he could say anything.
"Jihye, I really don't think it's-" He ran out of breath as they made it to the sidewalk, hands on his knees as Jihye held onto his arm still. "Her," He exhaled, straightening up.
Wrong.
They had ended up in front of the of the windows and behind the pristine glass staring right back at him, was none other than Jisoo.
Jisoo and her big eyes, staring right back at him. The eyes that he had missed, because it felt like it had been years since he'd last seen her. Since he had talked to her properly, without any interruptions. Just them, being loud and laughing at nothing.
"Let's go inside!" Jihye declared as Hyungwon drifted his eyes toward the person sitting across from her.
The new kid?
But... She had said that they didn't know each other. Then, why? Had she lied to him?
As Jihye dragged him through the threshold of the café door, he couldn't fight off the feeling of unease.
"Turtle, you'll promise me, right?"
"Promise you what?" Hyungwon said, confused but excited nonetheless.
"That no matter what, we won't lie to each other. I hate liars," Jisoo pouted adorably.
He grinned brightly and pulled her into a half hug, sticking out his pinky, "I, Turtle, will forever promise to tell nothing but the truth to you, Mu."
She giggled with restless excitement, gummy smile on display for his eyes only. "And I, Mu, will forever promise to tell nothing but the truth to you, turtle."
With that, they linked pinky fingers and pressed their thumbs together. Impulsively, he had kissed their thumbs, just as his mother had often done. Jisoo had seemed shocked before she had gone and done the same.
Until now, there had only been one lie.
The ignorance of that lie had been bliss.
So, why now?
Why did he feel that lie coming to the surface to swallow everything he had worked so hard for?
Why hello there 🤠
I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
A bit of a beast to write but I loved the ride.
Stay tuned for further chapters! :}
And please feel free to let me know what you think!