Sugarcane Chronicles Volume I...

By JulyBecameDecember

699K 14.3K 28.7K

Ryan is cursed and Brendon is adorable. Others are featured and weirds things happen. (inspired by the anime... More

Lost Found and so Confused
A Strange Encounter With Mr. Kitty
Back to School With a Crooked Tie
A Lunch Date With Ryan Spencer and Patrick
Stranger Danger!!
A Tour of the Ross-Smith-Stump House
The Big Secret
Spaghetti For Dinner
The New Sub's Kinda Hot
Pardon Me, But There is a Butt in My Face and I Believe it is Yours
A Little Less Touchy, A Little More Keys
Brendon Barsoap
The Dreaded Stethoscope
How 'Bout Some Air? It's Free!
Lunch With Dallon
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Has Nothing To Do With Music
Daniel
Friends For Now
For Narnia!
Cinnamon Soup
Soup Delivery
Just A Peek
Chick Flicks & Ice Cream
The Zombie Shelter
History or Chemistry?
It's Nice To Meet You Sally
Pumpkin Something
Everybody Needs a Little JT in Their Life
Giant Glob of Toothpaste
Improv Scene
It Was Shakespeare
School Fight
Ride Like The Wind!
Daniel Is a Friend
Weeks By Weekes
Pre-Wee Kiss
Mini Frank
The Library Incident
'Fun Facts' With Dallon
Lunch With Mikey Feat. Jake and Alan
Him
The Way House
Bagles Are Just Acoustic Donuts
Team Freebird
My Eyes Are Up Here, Tyler
Brandon and Rylie
Let's Make Purple
Onefive
Green Day Sucks Balls By The Way
Happy
The Return of Jake and Alan
Patrick, I Hope That's You
Nightmare
Hypnosis
Birthday Extravaglandazandapanda
Winter's Coming
The Battle of Spherical Snowfall
The Blue-Haired Fiend
Kid
Nature's Juice Box
Merry Christmas Bitches, Kiss My Ass
Slurp, Boom, Gone
Uke-gene
Lovebucket, Cuddlebunch, Brenny-Bear, Ry-Cakes
IfyanowutImean
When Valentine's Day Sneaks Up On You
Happy Valentine's Day, Bitches
The Sad Punk And The Lonely Virgin
Catastrophically, Inevitably, Completely
Kelly
Plan B(rendon)
Winkwinknudgenudge
Do You Have Any Cheerios?
Ryan's Smoking (Hot)
PB&J and Truth or Dare
The Plane(s)
To Love and Live Happily
Better Than Heaven
Drunken Tattooed Hearts
The Hangover Crew
The Fifth Ninja Turtle
Battle in the Key of F#major
He's Back
Cute Boys Dig Scars
Guess Who's Family
Han-gor-trac-eautif-ect
go read it
Q & A! [closed]
The As To Your Qs

The Tiny Man with the Tiny Chainsaw

4.5K 152 182
By JulyBecameDecember

All the party people cleared out eventually, leaving the people for the sleepover. A few people from the gang went to go get their overnight stuff from the Ross-Smith-Stump house (Mikey had already brought his bag) as I drove Kellin to Stromberg's. He was meeting his family there and he assured me they had a minivan they could drive home in.

Spencer had already claimed (and called dibs) on the recliner, leaving the rest of us to either sleep in the chairs and floor or try to find some sleeping arrangement for the pull-out couch. Josh and Tyler decided they would share a chair and I figured the rest of us could fit on the sleeper sofa.

So, Dad helped me pull out the couch and we all got comfy. I wanted to watch a movie, so everyone suggested what kind we should. I pulled up Netflix because they were all shouting about movies we didn't own.

"I just turned on Netflix," I announced. I scrolled down. "Ooh! Look, they have Disney movies! We should watch The Little Mermaid. I haven't seen that in forever."

"Nah, man," Mikey said. "We should so watch Jaws. It's just so good; it has so many layers."

"No, no, we should watch Ghostbusters," Patrick said. "It's definitely the right choice."

"Why don't we watch something with actual ghosts in it?" Spencer said. "I think they have a horror film section."

"The only kinds of horror films we're watching are the joke ones;" Josh said, "Tyler transforms if he gets too scared."

"Transforms?" Mikey asked. "Into what?"

Everyone was silent, realizing their mistake. All who knew glared at Josh.

"...A blubbering pile of shaking and whimpering," Ryan said and we all hoped Mikey wouldn't see through it. "Can we watch Twilight?"

I looked over at him. "We'll consider it." We smiled at each other and I turned back to the television, a certain movie caught my eye. "Guys! Guys, we have to watch Parent Trap! There is absolutely no question."

We all couldn't decide on a better movie, so we watched that and were enjoying it until Spencer's phone rang.

A few of us glanced at the source of the noise on the coffee table before returning our attention to the movie.

"Could somebody get that for me?" Spencer asked to be met by 'SSSHHHH's. "Oh, come on! It's probably really important."

We were silent, trying to focus on the girls' devious plan of dragging Meredith's air mattress out onto the lake.

The phone started ringing again and Spencer sighed exasperatedly. "Guys, please! It's probably Vic!"

"And that's exactly why we're not giving it to you," Ryan said. "Now shut up and watch Meredith fall into the lake."

Spencer sighed again and picked up one of his crutches. "Fine." He reached over and tried to move his phone closer to him with the crutch, managing to knock it off the table. He groaned and said, "Come on! One of you guys has to have a soul!"

Josh sighed and picked up the phone, handing it to Spencer. "I can't violate my duties to you."

"Thank you!" Spencer exclaimed grabbing the phone and answering it. "Hello, my little señor! Sorry it took me so long to answer; the guys were being dipshitheads." He paused as he readjusted. "What? Sorry, this damn movie's too loud." He grabbed the Wii remote from beside him and paused the movie.

We all gasped at him, unwilling to listen to Spencer baby talk a phone for the next ten minutes. Including a chorus of 'I miss you already' and a three-minute disco remix of 'no you hang up first'.

"...You hang up first... No, you hang up first... You!... You!... Ok, ok, we do it at the same time... Well, you didn't, either!... No, you... You should hang up first... You... You!"

"Me," Mikey said, snatching the phone from Spencer's hand. "I'll hang up first. Jesus Christ." He hung up the phone and sat back down in his spot on the pulled out couch.

Spencer scoffed at him. "Did you really just do that? Give me my phone back!"

"No, you are ruining Brendon's birthday movie with your not-hanging-up," Mikey retorted. "I mean, I love Ray, but God..."

"If my leg wasn't broken, I swear.."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just shut up and watch the Goddamn movie."

Mikey resumed the film with the remote he had taken from Spencer.

I always knew I loved that kid.

*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*

Spencer seemed to be over himself by the time Parent Trap ended and ready to play some form of a Mario game with us. We played video games until Mom told us to keep it down (we figured we couldn't play video games without being loud, so we just gave up). We then migrated to the basement and talked and jammed for a while (we had to take Spencer out the front door to circle around back so he could get in). When we realized it was getting late, we thought it might be a good idea to head upstairs and try to sleep.

But for some reason I had a problem doing so. I was cuddled up next to Ryan with my arm leaning across his stomach, unable to close my eyes beyond a millisecond of blinking.

He grabbed my hand, alternating tapping his thumb on my fingers, then his.

"One, two, three, four," he said, "I declare a thumb war."

I smiled. "You are so on," I said, leaning up slightly. "But I have to warn you: I have never lost at this."

He chuckled. "We'll see."

I decided to take the subtle 'fake-him-out' approach, dodging him every time he would try to pin me down and instead tapping our thumbs and making kissy noises.

He giggled. "You're so cute," he said. "But cuteness isn't gonna get you anywhere in thumb wrestling."

"We'll see," I said.

He tried pinning me down a few more times before finally giving in to the cuteness. Our thumbs just kinda leaned against each other for a while. Leaning turned into kissing which turned into a hot make out session which turned into thumb sex(?). I didn't know why, but it was hilarious. We couldn't stop giggling and got whisper-yelled at by everyone.

When we could look at each other without bursting into another fit of giggles, we went to sleep.

We were all sleeping pretty good, I thought (I was cuddled up to Ryan and dreaming of flying while thumb wrestling him), when we were awoken by what I thought was an earthquake.

I sat up quickly, scared for my life (and my guitars). I looked around, trying to figure out what was happening.

Then I recognized the noise and detected where it was coming from.

Spencer was snoring.

I groaned and lay back down. "Is anyone else awake?" I asked.

Everyone responded with a 'yes' or 'yeah but I don't wanna be' or 'I can't believe you weren't up earlier'.

"How long has he been doing that?" I sighed.

"For the past twenty minutes, I think," Patrick said. "I've been awake the whole time."

"Sorry," I said as another earthquake began.

I wasn't kidding. His snoring literally shook the ground (but my spot on the couch-bed-bed-couch was the closest to him, so...).

"Oh, my God," Mikey said. "Can we just wake him up?"

"Nah, I wanna tape it so we can have proof," Ryan said, "'cause you all know he's not gonna believe us and cuss us out."

We all agreed and Ryan pulled his phone out, Spencer letting out the loudest snore so far. We heard the camera toggle on and Spencer stop mid-snore.

"Is he dead?" Tyler asked after a few seconds.

Spencer started up again and we all sighed.

"Thank God," Ryan sighed. "Pete would've killed me. Or, rather, him and Vic would've taken turns stabbing me." He toggled off the camera. "Shall I have the honors?" He shook Spencer's shoulders. "Hey, Spence. Spence, wake up."

The snoring stopped, but swear words came out instead (you decide which is worse).

"I'm trying to sleep, man," he said, "go away."

"We were trying to sleep, too," Ryan said. "Your snoring woke all of us up."

"I wasn't snoring," Spencer grumbled. "You guys are just trying to ruin Brendon's birthday for me."

I glanced back at everybody with a look that expressed exactly what we were all thinking: 'did he really just say that?'.

"No, we caught it on video," Tyler said. "It literally sounds like a tiny man with a tiny chainsaw is trying to find his way to the light at the end of the tunnel in your sinuses. But he can't. Because it's the middle of the night. And it's dark. There is no light."

"Come on, man up, guys," Spencer said. "It's not that bad."

"'It's not that bad'?" Mikey asked. "It sounds like an eighteen wheeler going down the freeway at a hundred miles per hour doing screamo with the horn honking."

"Psshh," Spencer scoffed. "No."

"Yes," Patrick said. "It sounds like a chainsaw fucking a bear."

"Or Pete when he stubs his toe," Ryan said.

"Wow," Spencer said. "Sorry guys, I—"

"Hey," Mom said from the top of the stairs, scaring all of us.

We looked up at her

"Did you boys know that today... is actually tomorrow?" she said, scarily calm (if that made any sense). "Because it's two o'clock in the morning. Now" she paused "go. The fuck. To sleep." She walked back up the stairs.

We gaped at the spot she was standing on the stairs.

"Love you, too," I said sarcastically.

We turned out the lights and went to sleep. I dreamt of the adventures of the tiny man with the tiny chainsaw in Spencer's sinuses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chapter was on time! woohoo

picture to the right/at the beginning is Spencer

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