Andrew's car rattled along a dirt path overlooking the lake, heading into the forest and away from civilization. I sat in the front with him and Lauren sat in the back, followed by Micah and Jacob in the car behind us. The sun was making its way high into the sky and the early morning breeze blew through the car as the radio spilled through the speakers. We drove along for several miles in silence, just enjoying the scenery around us until we arrived at our campsite. Andrew cut the engine and walked around to the trunk and we followed, smiling at Jacob and Micah as they pulled up behind us. Andrew pulled out our backpacks and handed them to us, shutting the tent and starting forward towards the clearing that would hold our campsite. Lauren walked next to me but her attention remained on the ground beneath her feet as she walked. When we finally arrived at the clearing, her jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she scanned the scene around us. The thick forest that surrounded us parted to reveal a shimmering lake on one side and a grassy meadow on the other, closing us in and cutting us off from reality.
"This is beautiful," she said quietly.
"Always has been," Andrew nodded, throwing his bags on the ground and pulling out the tent.
"Do you need help?" I asked.
"Nah, you two go ahead and explore," he dismissed. "Jacob and Micah will help me."
I dropped my bags on the ground by my feet and Lauren followed, walking with me to the cooler and pulling out two beers.
"Don't drink all the beer," Jacob groaned. "We have to make it last all weekend."
"Something tells me it won't even last the night," I chuckled, grabbing Lauren's wrist and pulling her along with me as I started forward.
We made our way down to the water's edge and I scaled the shore, carefully finding my way to a different clearing where we were out of earshot of the boys. I popped the tab off of my beer and tossed it back, chugging more than half of it and sitting it on the sand. I slipped my shirt over my head to reveal my bikini top as Lauren's eyes wandered my body and she raised her eyebrow curiously, taking a few sips of her drink and sitting it down next to mine.
"What are you doing?" she questioned.
"Swimming," I answered. "I figured we could try again since last night didn't work out very well."
"Is it safe?"
I slid my shorts down my legs and kicked them to the side, pushing past Lauren and stepping into the water. I turned around to face her and placed a hand on my hip, shifting my weight to one foot and scowling at her.
"You know, sometimes I forget that you were a prude before I met you, and then you say things like that and it all comes back to me," I told her.
"I'm not a prude," she insisted.
"Then get in the water."
"You know what, fine," she huffed. "But you can expect payback for making fun of me."
"Oh, I'm absolutely terrified," I teased, holding my hands out in front of me defensively.
She glared at me but pulled her shirt over her head, her stomach muscles bending and flexing with each movement. I was to the point where I didn't even bother trying to avert my eyes when she caught me staring. An opportunity like that was too good to pass up. She took off her shorts and folded them neatly, sitting them on top of a rock and stepping into the water just above her ankles. My eyes wandered her body blatantly and she raised her eyebrow curiously as she waded out to where I was standing.
"Can you only wear a bikini all the time, every day, for the rest of your life?" I smirked.
"I would, but you'd probably just end up taking it off," she countered.
I shrugged, not disagreeing entirely, and made my way further into the water with Lauren on my trail. I stopped when it reached my shoulders and turned around, finding Lauren's hands and pulling her closer to me. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her arms draped over my shoulders, holding onto me with everything she had. Her lips found mine before I even had a chance to say anything and she melted into me, my hands on her backside under the water and her dripping wet skin pressed against mine. She slid her tongue along my bottom lip, begging for access, but I pulled back, releasing her and stepping into the shallow part of the water.
"Are you okay?" she worried.
"I'm fine," I nodded.
The truth was, I was far from fine. Generally speaking, I was happier than I'd ever been now that Lauren was a part of my life, but one nagging question at the back of my mind made it hard for me to enjoy my time with her. When was I going to tell her how I felt? Every time her lips touched mine or her fingertips grazed my skin, that electric feeling jolted through me and intensified. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to make her feel good and kiss her until we were both gasping for air, but I wanted it to mean something, and as much as I tried to convince myself that it wasn't just fun and games, I knew that neither of us could take each other seriously until one of us confessed our feelings. Did Lauren even have feelings for me? I'd seriously overlooked that possibility on several occasions. She clearly enjoyed spending time with me, but what did it all mean? Maybe it was just a game, but maybe it wasn't. There was only one way to find out, and I had no idea how to pinpoint the right time.
"Camz..." she pressed.
I made my way out of the water and sat on the shore, pulling my knees to my chest and picking at the pebbles below me. Lauren followed without hesitation, taking a seat next to me and nudging me with her elbow.
"You can try to hide the fact that there's something bothering you all you want, but I know you well enough by now to know that this mopey, frowning Camila is not the real Camila," she told me. "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."
"I don't know...I guess the full reality that this is the last time we'll all get to come here is finally hitting me," I lied, introducing myself to a whole new set of problems as I realized how true the words actually were. "I mean, you and Andrew will be in college and I'm not even that close to Micah or Jacob."
She nodded and leaned against me, resting her head on my shoulder and staring out at the glistening water before us.
"It sucks," I chuckled. "It really fucking sucks that I just met you and I only get three months with you. Three months and then you're gone, and I seriously doubt I'm worth looking back."
"Hey, don't say that," she scolded, jolting upright and turning to face me. "I can't tell you how excited I am for college, Camz, and before I met you guys I swore to myself that once I left this town, I'd never come back, but then you came along. If anything in this hell hole of a town is worth returning for, it's you."
"You don't have to say that to make me feel better."
"I'm not," she assured me. "These past few weeks hold some of the best memories I have. The last thing I want is to leave it all behind and never allow myself to make more. And I'm sure Andrew feels the same-"
"I'm not worried about Andrew," I interrupted. "Realistically, he'll probably only make it a few months in college before he drops out or gets in trouble. He'll be back before I even have a chance to blink."
"Have some faith," she laughed.
A small chuckle escaped my lips and I stretched my legs out in front of me, leaning back onto the palms of my hands and soaking up as much of the sun as possible. Lauren stayed seated but scooted closer to me, smiling down at me thoughtfully.
"What about you? Are you going to college?" she asked.
"I never really thought about it," I admitted. "I imagine my path will be the same as Andrew's if I do go. Maybe that's why I'm so worried about you leaving as opposed to him. I actually have faith that you'll do well and won't have a reason to come back."
"Camz, I'm going to say this one more time and I really hope you choose to listen," she huffed. "I am not going to leave you behind, okay? We're in too deep already. If you were someone else, maybe I wouldn't have the desire to come back, but you're not someone else. You're you, and I want as much of you as I can take. I'm not going anywhere."
"Yeah, but Lauren, who knows how far you're going to get, and what's the point in coming all the way back here for me when you have so many opportunities somewhere else?" I pressed. "I don't want to hold you back. I want-"
She rolled her eyes and leaned in, cutting me off with a kiss. It was gentle but determined, and I savored every second of it. Her lips were soft and full and molded against mine in perfect unison. She pulled back and smiled, resting her forehead against mine and placing one of her hands on my hip.
"Shut up," she chuckled.
She crawled onto her hands and knees and reconnected our lips, throwing one leg over me to straddle my waist. She placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me down gently, laying me over the sand as my hands found her backside. She moved her hands to the ground on either side of my head to keep me in place and hovered over me, her skin just barely brushing over mine as she rolled her hips against me.
"Get it, Mila!" Micah shouted in the distance.
Lauren laughed, smiling against my lips, and rolled off of me just as the boys appeared from behind the tree line. I glared at them as they approached but they just smiled, tossing us both another beer and heading straight for the water. Lauren followed them and I sighed, wishing I had more time with just her but determined enough to make it happen. It was time to buckle down and swallow my pride.
...
The full moon was high in the sky as the fire crackled in the middle of our campsite. We were all gathered around it, plowing through another twelve pack and enjoying the cool breeze that blew in from the shore. Lauren was situated across from me and as usual, I didn't even bother trying to keep my eyes off of her. She caught me looking several times and smiled, staring down at the ground beneath her feet as her cheeks flushed red. Andrew pushed himself out of his chair and dove into the cooler, pulling out another beer and popping the tab.
"Did you bring it?" Jacob asked him quietly.
"Oh, I almost forgot," he realized, disappearing inside his tent.
He returned seconds later with a baggy in his hand, nearly filled to the top with weed. I rolled my eyes but pushed myself out of my chair and walked over to him, taking a seat on Lauren's lap as she curiously watched him roll the first joint. He shoved it my direction and I accepted it graciously, fishing my lighter out of the pocket of my shirt and touching the flame to the tip. I took the first hit and passed it to Lauren who inhaled with no hesitation, keeping it to herself for a few more hits until her eyes were bloodshot and a serene smile graced her lips.
"So, Lauren, I must know...is Mila a top or bottom?" Andrew asked, glancing between the two of us with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Depends," she shrugged. "It varies."
"Bullshit," I laughed. "I don't remember the last time you started out on top."
"Well, let's see, there was that time in my room when you ran away from me, and then...that other time..."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I chuckled. "One time out of how many? Six?"
"Jesus..." Micah gasped. "Six times already? Andrew can't even get that much action in an entire year."
"Funny," Andrew scoffed.
Lauren passed the joint back to me and I took a hit, leaning back against her and allowing her to wrap her arms around me. The entire night seemed entirely too nostalgic. Maybe it was just the drugs, or maybe it was the full moon, but I had a feeling that Lauren's arms around me had me on a higher cloud than anything else.
"This is fun," she smiled. "I've never been camping."
"Ever?" Jacob questioned.
She shook her head no and rested her head against mine, burying her face in the crook of my shoulder and smiling.
"I wish I could stay here forever," she whispered just loud enough for me to hear her over the snapping of the flames.
"I'm going to call it a night," Andrew announced, getting up and tossing his empty can into the trash bag.
"Me too," Micah agreed. "It's getting late."
"You girls need another beer before we head in?" Jacob asked.
I smiled graciously and shook my head no, praying for them to hurry up and go to sleep so I could talk to Lauren alone. They eventually disappeared inside the tent and zipped it up tight, laughing to themselves about something until the air grew still and quiet and Lauren and I were left alone. I repositioned myself on her lap so that her arms remained around me but I could see her clearly, her bloodshot eyes illuminated by the light of the fire.
"What did you mean?" I asked.
"About what?"
"When you said you wished you could stay here forever," I answered. "Did you mean in this town or...what?"
"Not exactly," she chuckled. "I just meant here, exactly as we are right now. Like, with you in my arms by the fire."
I studied her carefully as she leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. I couldn't tell if it was the drugs taking over her system and speaking for her or if she was speaking from the heart, but either way, the words were more than enough for me. If I had one wish in the world, one opportunity to make anything happen, it would have been to make her wish a reality.
...
I stretched under my sleeping bag and felt the soft fabric against my skin in the morning light. I could smell the coals from the fire still burning outside but the heat from the summer sun was enough for me. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and ran a hand through my hair, wiping the sweat off of my brow and turning on my side to face Lauren. I didn't meet green eyes like I expected but instead found her still fast asleep, her hair falling messily in front of her face. I'd never really found Lauren to be cute on more than one occasion- hot or stunningly beautiful, rather- but the way her lips formed a delicate smile and her nose scrunched up, pressed against the fabric of her pillow, was nothing less than adorable. She looked so peaceful and serene and I hated to disturb her, but I couldn't help but brush her hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. I pulled my hand back as her eyes fluttered open slightly, but instead of begging me to leave her alone like I expected, she just smiled from ear to ear, sleepily staring up at me and locking her fingers with mine before I could pull away.
"Good morning," she said quietly.
"Morning," I smiled.
Waking up next to Lauren was definitely something that I could get used to. Seeing her first smile of the entire day and knowing that I was the cause made my heart flutter violently in my chest. She still made me nervous, but it was a good kind of nervous. It was an adrenaline pumping, butterflies in my stomach, cheeks blushing red kind of nervous.
"It's kind of hot in here," she observed.
"What do you say we get some fresh air and go for a walk?" I suggested.
"Okay," she nodded.
I climbed out of my sleeping bag and crawled over to my backpack, pulling out a pair of clothes for the day as Lauren did the same. I slipped on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, hurriedly putting my hair into a bun as I was anxious to be alone with Lauren before the boys woke up.
"Shit," she cursed under her breath.
"Everything okay?"
"I forgot to pack an extra shirt," she told me.
I picked up my plaid shirt from the day prior and tossed it to her, smiling in her direction as she put it on. She slipped into a pair of shorts and crawled out of the tent, my shirt hanging loosely off of her shoulders. I stepped in front of her and started forward, leading her along a trail and away from the campsite.
"Where exactly are we going?" she asked.
"Wherever we end up," I shrugged.
We walked along side by side, just taking in the scenery in silence until Lauren laughed quietly to herself and shoved her hands in her back pockets, staring up at the trees and shaking her head in disbelief.
(http://open.spotify.com/track/75FSHhwTzGm1RaTefQtIpP)
[Jason Mraz, A World With You]
"What?" I demanded.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure," I nodded.
"That night that I ran into you at the convenience store...it wasn't by accident," she laughed. "I ran into Austin and he tried to flirt but I mentioned your name. I don't know why. I remember telling him, 'I'm flattered, but I'm kind of with someone,' and then I told him your name and he goes, 'Oh, yeah, she's at my party.' I remember staying there for almost an hour, praying that you'd show up for any reason at all, and eventually you did. I just...keep wondering how different things would be if I hadn't waited for you."
"Well, things certainly wouldn't be how they are now," I realized.
"Honestly, I don't think I would have been able to stay away from you, Camz," she admitted. "Something about you is so magnetic. It draws me in even when I don't realize it."
She stepped closer to me as we continued on, her hand just barely brushing against mine. She didn't seem to notice, but my skin itched for contact. I wanted to feel the weight of her hand in mine.
"Can I hold your hand?" I asked.
She looked at me uncertainly but then smiled, locking our fingers together and swinging our hands back and forth as we walked. I was still taken aback by the way our hands fit so perfectly together. Hers were only slightly bigger, but still big enough to where my fingers intertwined with hers with ease. It was comfortable. It didn't feel forced. It felt like we were made for each other. I pulled her off to the side and continued down another path, walking for probably another quarter mile before we came to a clearing that opened up to a cliff side. It wasn't very high, but it was high enough to see the expanse of trees that covered the campsite, and it was high enough for Lauren to pull out of my grasp in fear.
"No way," she disagreed.
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," I promised her.
"I'm perfectly fine back here."
"Fine," I shrugged, continuing forward towards the edge.
I found a seat on the cliff and dangled my legs over the water below, looking out over the lake and enjoying the cool breeze that blew in from the water's surface. I smiled as I heard Lauren's delicate footsteps slowly making their way over to me and she eventually sat down, inching closer and closer to the edge but never hanging her legs over the side. I picked up her hand again and held onto it tightly, and she eventually relaxed a bit, releasing a deep breath and scooting closer to me.
"Look how beautiful it is out here," I pointed out. "How could you want to miss this?"
"I don't," she sighed. "My fear of heights just gets in the way a lot."
"Well, you're here now. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "It is."
I turned to look at her and found myself smiling as usual. The lake was beautiful. The way the sunlight reflected off the surface of the water and the way the trees rustled in the wind, it was all wonderfully relaxing, but nothing could quite compare to Lauren. As bright as the sun was, her smile was brighter. Her eyes were greener than the trees and the way I felt sitting next to her took me higher than the cliff side.
"You're beautiful," I told her. "God damn, you are so beautiful."
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asked, ignoring my comments and studying me closely.
"Nope," I admitted. "Have you?"
She shook her head no and let her legs dangle over the edge, leaning back onto her palms and staring out at the scene before us. "I've never dated anyone."
"That is such bull," I laughed. "Look at you. You can't tell me no one wants a piece of that."
"People have asked me out, I've just never been interested," she shrugged. "I'm kind of scared of love, if I'm being honest. It makes people do really stupid things."
"That's the fun of it, though. You're going to make mistakes no matter what. Why not make them with someone you love?"
"I've never been in love," she confessed. "I mean, not in the past. But-"
"I have," I interrupted.
"With who?"
"You," I answered quickly.
Her attention snapped to me and her jaw nearly dropped to the ground, but her eyes stared into mine thoughtfully. I just shrugged as a small chuckle escaped my lips and I sat up straighter, smiling on the outside although I could hardly breathe on the inside.
"I'm in love with you, Lauren," I admitted. "Call me crazy, tell me I'm just getting too attached because of all of the time we're spending together, but I am in love with you. You know what, it scares the shit out of me. I am absolutely terrified that I'm going to fuck something up and you're never going to talk to me again, but I don't care. I'm not going to live with the fear that things won't work out and deny myself the opportunity to be with you. You scare the shit out of me. You're beautiful and I swear to God your eyes can see right into my soul every time you look at me. Your mind is so unique and everything that you say just makes me fall harder and harder for you. Your touch literally sets me on fire and I just want it all the time. I never thought I'd fall for anyone, but here I am. I'm falling for you, and I have no intention to ever get back up."
"I've wasted so much time trying to convince myself that it was impossible for me to fall in love, but I'm done lying to myself and I'm done lying to you," I rambled. "You probably think I'm completely insane for bringing it up like this, but I can't hold it in anymore. I understand if you don't...I mean, if you don't feel the same. I just had-"
She pressed her lips to mine before I could continue, cupping my face with one hand and cutting me off mid-sentence. I'd kissed her before, obviously, but something about this one was different. The sparks were there, but they were shared. The electricity flowed through both of us rather than just through me, and I knew she felt it too. I could see it in her eyes when she pulled back. I could taste it in her words before they even escaped her lips.
"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that," she whispered.
She kissed me again and I could feel it. The way she melted into me, the way her touch was so gentle yet so passionate, it all gave it away. She was mine, and I didn't plan to let her go.