...
"Wha---what do you mean she might not make it? This can't---" I fumbled over my words. I tried to take slow, deep breaths.
"Baby I think you need to sit down," Kevin said to me.
I shook my head. "No. I think I just need some air," I said walking away. He tried to follow me. "Just---give me a minute, okay," I said looking back at him.
He stepped back. "Alright."
Before I knew it I was on the third floor standing outside my mom's room. Without thinking I rushed in. "Mommy," I yelled frantically, "please wake up."
"What is she doing in here," a doctor yelled. "Get her out of here! She has to go!"
"Ma! I'm sorry!" I cried.
Two male nurses grabbed me, but I wasn't leaving without a fight. "Mommy," I yelled as they pulled on me.
"Ma'am. Ma'am. I'm going to need you to calm down. You can't be in here right now."
"Let me see her!" I screamed hoarsely. "She can't be in there alone! She needs me!" I caught my breath and sniveled. "Just please---let me see her."
"Come on miss," the guy on my right said to me.
"Let me go!" I said snatching my arm from his grasp. "I just want to see my mother!" I felt breathless. I squatted down on the floor with my head in between my hands.
"I know sweetie, but it's not good for you to see her like this right now," a middle aged nurse said as she slowly rubbed my back.
"Please!" I sobbed. "What if it's my last time?"
One of the nurses looked at me sympathetically and squatted down beside me. "Okay. Listen to me," she said softly. "I know that this is hard for you, but let me assure you that we are going to do everything that we can to make sure that your mom and her baby make it out alive, okay." She grabbed my hand. "If at any moment you start to freak out, tell the receptionist, Lauren, to page me. That's my girl," she smiled. "Tell her you need to speak to me, Makeda, and I'll come down so that we can talk."
"Thank you," I sniveled.
"Don't mention it."
"We got you sis," another nurse said as she gently squeezed my hand. "You gon' be okay out here by yourself," she asked me.
I nodded my head. "Yeah. Thanks."
"Alright," she said standing up. "Keep your head up mama."
They headed back into the room to tend to my mom.
I stood up and tiredly leaned against the wall. I leaned forward and placed my hands on my legs, rubbing them back and forth. "This is my fault," I said slowly. "This is all my fault." I sniveled.
"No it's not," I heard a voice say from behind me. I quickly turned around to see Dominick standing there.
"What are you doing here," I said through teary eyes. He smiled. "I love her just as much as you do," Dominick replied and then he pulled me into a quick, but warm embrace.
"It's not your fault," he said looking my face over. "She was hit by a drunk driver. No one could have known that that was going to happen." My eyes grew wide. "Stop blaming yourself." Dominck wiped away the tears under my eyes and hugged me a second time. "It's not your fault," he reassured me again. I could feel my heartbeat begin to slow down. I started to feel calmer. After a few minutes I let him go.
"Thank you," I said trying to offer him a smile. I wiped my nose and sniveled.
"Don't mention it," he smiled back warmly. "Should we head back down," he said nodding his head in the direction of the elevator.
"Yeah."
He pulled me close like my dad would and walked silently to the elevator with me right beside him.
"This can stay between us," Dominick offered as we exited the elevator. I looked up at him. "Thank you."
When we got back into the waiting room Kevin rushed up to me. "Baby where'd you go? I didn't see you outside and I tried calling you."
"Kev I told you to give me a minute."
Kevin grabbed ahold of me. "And you know I don't listen," he grinned. "Are you okay," he asked, rubbing the sides of arms.
"I'm fine baby. Thank you."
"You sure," he asked kissing my cheek and neck profusely. A smile teased my lips. "Yes. I'm sure," I said playfully pushing him away. Kevin let me go and looked me over. "What? Stop looking at me like that. I said I was fine," I smiled. He looked at Dominick.
"She's fine," he encouraged.
I cocked my head to the side and looked at Kevin. "See? Now can I go sit down dad?" I said sarcastically as I walked past him.
"Don't get cute," he grinned.
"I don't have to. I already am," I smiled back. I sat down in between my sisters and patted their legs.
"Are y'all okay?"
"I'm alright," Mya said.
"Shoot. I'm not Keyona," said squeezing my hand. "I'm worried as hell."
"Mommy will be fine," Mya replied.
Keyona leaned her head back onto the wall and sighed. "But, how do you know that," she questioned.
"Let's just call iiit---a hunch," Mya shrugged.
I playfully bumped Mya's shoulder and smiled at her. She winked back.
I raised my eyebrow. "Mm. Okay aunt Jo."
We all laughed.
..
We sat in the waiting room for an additional two hours only to be told that there's no sign of change in our mom and that we should all come back tomorrow.
"I need a drink after this man," Terrance said sliding up to the edge of his seat. "Anybody want to join me," he asked looking between the seven of us. Dominick and my dad had left moments before.
"Imma have to take a rain check," Faye said as he stood up to stretch. "I gotta get home to the fam. I left Keisha at home with the kids. I don't know how much longer she can handle a five year old, a three year old, and a six month old. She probably at her wits end right about now. As a matter of fact," he said pulling out his phone, "let me call her and tell her I'm on my way."
"Uh too late," I said holding up my phone to show him my caller ID. It's your wife," I grinned. "You in trouble," I mocked before answering.
"Hey sis! Yeah. He was just about to call you." I turned to Faye. "She said she called you."
He scrunched up his face. "When? Tell her my phone didn't ring."
"He didn't hear his phone ring. Mmhm. Yeah. He's about to leave out. Okay Ke. Later." I hung up the phone. "She said see ya when you get home, drive safe, and that she loves you."
Faye grinned. "She said allat?"
"Yes Lafayette," I teased. "Now go and kiss them babies for me."
"Aight. Aight. I'm gone. See y'all later."
"See ya."
"Welp. That's my cue," Keyona said standing up. "We gon' have to grab that drink another night T." Everyone else agreed and we all headed out together.
...
"Man this has been quite the night," I sighed as Kevin and I walked into our apartment. I headed over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.
"So are we going to talk about what happened with you at the hospital?"
"What is there to talk about," I said turning to look at Kevin.
"Come on baby. I know that there's something you're not telling me. I could tell when you came back to the waiting room."
"I told you I was fine," I shrugged nonchalantly.
"And I know you don't think I believed you," Kevin said with a raised brow.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"We don't keep secrets from each other, so I don't know why you trynna start tonight."
"Kev why do you think something happened? I told you---"
He cut me off. "I know you didn't go outside earlier. You went to see your mom. I sent Dominick up there to check on you. What happened?"
"Hold up? You had him follow me?" I asked cocking my head back.
"That's beside the point. What happened?"
"It was nuh---"
"Alyssa. Don't tell me it was nothing."
He kept staring at me until he broke me down. "Alright. Alright," I sighed as I sat down on the nearest bar stool. I took a moment before speaking up.
"I don't know what happened, okay. I was headed outside to get some air and then the next thing I knew I was standing outside my mom's room. I sort of---" I huffed, "lost it when I saw her in there. I was really upset; damn near hysterical actually. The nurses had to calm me down. I just wanted to see my mom, but they said I couldn't be in there, which in retrospect I get now, but in the moment I didn't care about the rules. I just wanted her to be okay and to know that I loved her." I fought back tears. "Damn it Kevin," I said dabbing under my eyes. "You just had to have an answer didn't you," I sniveled.
"Yes. I want you to tell me the hard stuff, because you shouldn't have to go through it alone. You don't have to be strong all the time. You know that," he said grabbing ahold of my hand.
"I sort of do. We have a kid on the way. No stress remember? I didn't even mean to go off how I did earlier, but all of these emotions started hitting me at once and then boom. I exploded. It was really bad," I said putting my head down on the bar top for a second. "I had a freakin meltdown in front of a bunch of strangers. Do you know how embarrassing that is?"
"I can imagine," he sighed, "but the good thing is, it's over."
"Yeah for now. Who's to say it won't happen again?"
"Me, because next time I'll be there with you."
I looked up at Kevin. "Thank you. That means a lot."
"Don't mention it," he said just as he bent down to kiss me on my forehead. "Come on let's get you to bed." He grabbed me by my arms and pulled me up. "You look tired." I looked up at him. "That's because I am." I threw my arms around his waist and together we headed to the bedroom.
..
Hours later when everything was still and quiet I felt something began to break in me. "Kevin," I called out frantically into the darkness. "Kevin wake up!" I sat up and pulled the covers back.
"Baby what's going on," he asked sitting up.
"I need to go to the hospital."
...