"...That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway." - John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
☾☆☽
the snow stopped by the time salvator and elyshia left for breakfast at her coffee shop. it was four inches high, but nothing a worn, too-small pair of snow boots couldn't fix. salvator, on the other hand, had to trek through it with his vans on while carrying his soaked clothing in a plastic grocery bag (elyshia let him keep her dad's clothes). salvator, of course, let her keep his leather jacket. she currently had it on right now.
although, how amusing it was, meeting salvator at the coffee shop and spending the last hour of their all-night adventure at the coffee shop.
"thank goodness, i thought i was going to have to fire you!" snapped marie brett from the counter, before elyshia could fully step into the causter oaks coffee shop. she stopped abruptly, seeing elyshia was not alone. "oh... you have company." her tone was cold. clearly her infatuation with salvator was over.
"she won't be working for an hour," salvator put in, shooting her a charming smile. "she'll be having breakfast with me."
"are you serious?" marie said incredulously and salvator shook his head. "fine. fine! one hour or she's fired. one, elyshia." with that, she stalked off into the kitchen. okay, so maybe she still had a little something for salvator saxon.
salvator led her to table three, the exact table he sat in yesterday when ely was his waitress slash barista. the difference was, like a gentleman, he pulled open her chair and waited for her to be seated, then proceeded to seating himself. they didn't say anything for a while, merely looking at each other. ely was blushing. everything was considerably normal about this situation.
"would you like to know something, elyshia locke?"
ely glanced at him and nodded once.
but before she could elaborate, a morning-shift waitress, shelley, headed over to their table. she had a seemingly forced, immediate good-employee smile on her face. "hello, welcome to causter oaks coffee shop, although elyshia probably knew that already. what can i get you two today?"
her tone was sarcastic and it was evident she didn't like ely, but it was okay. she didn't mind, not even a little like before. she knew what happened that day. and it was nobody's business but hers, salvator's and her parents'. "a chai latte and a croissant, please." politeness got you far in life after all.
"same thing," salvator put in and shelley nodded once, briefly, before heading back to the counter to make their order. at just past seven in the morning with snow on the ground, the coffee shop only had three customers. ely and salvator, and a teacher ely recognized from the local university. "anyway, i think you're fit enough to know what was going on with my life the four years i couldn't find you. or chose not to find you, rather."
"okay..." elyshia was nervous. "what about? did you have a girlfriend?" she said that half-jokingly. actually, she was expecting the girlfriend confession. she knew it was coming. what else would someone like salvator saxon be doing with himself for four years without one?
"um, not exactly," said salvator, with an equally nervous chuckle. "this may seem strange, but although i've tried flirting with countless other girls, you're the only reason i've never had a serious relationship. i was a wreck, getting drunk constantly and flirting. flirting with anything that had lady parts and looked enough into me. believe me, ely, if i could have forgotten about you, i would have. but i couldn't." he smiled, but it still looked nervous. "or maybe that was a terrible thing to say... i can never tell. i'm sorry if it was."
elyshia shook her head. it didn't hurt, surprisingly. she felt rather grateful. "i guess that proves you really do love me."
his smile broadened, but it was now relaxed. "they say young love never lasts. it seems like it isn't true for us."
"seems like it," elyshia agreed, returning his smile.
shelley came back with the plates of croissants and saucers with a teacup filled with their coffee. she shot them a quick, still-forced smile. "if you need anything else, don't hesitate to call me over. or, you know, just ask elyshia since she's supposed to be working." she shot him a quick glare before she practically sashayed away, hips swaying.
"i could still call her back and throw the coffee at her," said salvator, glancing at ely. his eyes were glimmering. "it doesn't matter if i have to pay extra, i could throw it at her. just say the word."
"no, no," said elyshia, laughing whilst shaking her head. "it's okay. i don't mind. i know what happened. everything that happened. and it's nobody's business but mine. and yours, of course."
"your parents are buried back in queens, right?" asked salvator, his voice dropping considerably. elyshia nodded. "will you ever go back to visit them?"
she tilted her head, thinking. "i think they'd like that," she said slowly. "i'd do it, but travel is so expensive, i could barely afford the rent. i would have gone a long time ago if i could have."
"and don't you miss your old friends?" salvator continued, his voice still low. calculating, somehow, like he was measuring her reaction for some odd reason. "well, okay, don't you miss them now that you know who they are? that you remember who they are?"
she did. "lydia and jen were a big part of my life. the life that wasn't so complicated and tragic and horror-film worthy. you and lydia and jen were probably the highlight of my life, especially since these last four years have been nothing but work and school and scandal. you're the only one who knows what really happened, and lydia and jen know who i really am as a person. it would be nice to just return to queens and reunite with them. with my parents' graves."
she took a tentative bite of her croissant and practically sighed in relief at the familiar buttery, warm taste. she half-expected shelley to slip bugs inside with the looks she was giving her from all the way across the room. salvator did the same across from her before he spoke again.
"what if i told you that you could? in an hour?"
"what do you mean?" she asked curiously, brows pulling together in confusion. the chai latte was splendid and a little sugary-sweet. you could trust shelley not to mess with causter oaks coffee, even if she desperately hated the customer.
"i mean," his eyes cast down at his coffee, untouched and steaming. she didn't like the way he became quieter, like he dreaded what he was going to say. "i mean, i haven't been exactly honest with you."
a cold feeling spread from the tips of her toes up to her ankles, something that only happened when she was feeling particularly afraid. "with what?"
"i didn't move to causter oaks," he said, his eyes still looking at the coffee. she wished he would look at her. she liked seeing the emotion in his eyes. it helped her determine whether or not he was lying at her. look up, salvator saxon. look up. "i came to visit."
"why did you have to lie about that?" she asked softly, a foreboding chill spreading up from her ankles to her knees. she was slowly freezing with fear, freezing slowly like anna in frozen.
"because i planned this entire night," he let out a short laugh. really, it was short, barely two seconds. "or most of the night at least, some things just happened. but i was planning on gaining your trust, planning on getting you to tell me what you remembered, planning to tell you everything i remembered and everything else you wanted to know."
"and i still want to know more," elyshia corrected him. "but it's progress. the reason i didn't bombard you with questions was because i thought we'd have more time together. a lot more time together." the coldness seeped halfway up her thighs. "and you still didn't answer the question. not really."
"would you really agree to go on an all-night adventure with me if you knew i was just going to leave the next day?"
her legs were frozen. "the next day? today? you're leaving today? you're leaving me today?" words were spouting out of her mouth in no particular sense, fast as lightning.
"not on purpose," he said quickly, and this time he did look up. elyshia desperately looked into his eyes, trying to decipher what he was feeling. it was dark in there, with a mixture of pretty negative emotions, too many to pin down. salvator sighed. "this was never about just making you fall in love with me again. i already knew you probably did, deep down somewhere. what we had before you came here was real. it was love and i knew you couldn't forget that. you probably didn't know you already loved me, probably wondering why the hell it took such a short period of time to feel this love for me. no, it was about helping you remember. getting you to trust me, again."
she couldn't say anything, and he didn't seem to want her to say anything. he continued on, like a plow. "i'm leaving because i still need to finish college. and my family needs me, i need to support my parents. my sisters are all married and trying to support their own families. if i could stay with you, i would. even for another couple of days, but i can't."
he drained his coffee cup. elyshia watched him, still unable to speak. her mind was alive, though. she knew it, she felt it when this entire madness started, that the net wouldn't be able to support her. salvator would leave somehow in the end. she just didn't expect it to be so soon. or so literal. he was actually leaving her physically, in causter oaks. he was going back to queens.
salvator spoke again, after a long moment's silence. the only sounds were the clattering of plates and saucers and spoons and teacups and the chatting of waitresses in the kitchen. "you're forgetting, though. in under an hour, i'll be leaving for new york, and i offered to take you with me."
elyshia found her voice again. "really?" but she was still cold at her legs, still having that same terrified feeling. if anything, the freezing feeling sped up and she didn't know why.
his smile was weary. "i brought up your parents' grave and your old friends for a reason. i know they'd love to see you. they've been asking about you." he locked eyes with me again. "elyshia, i cannot tell you how sorry i am, letting you believe that i moved here when really we barely had a day together. i'm sorry, but i do hope you understand it was for this very moment."
"what moment?" but she knew what moment.
"the moment when every time you look at me, whether you're angry, upset, frustrated, worried, happy... every time you look at me underneath every outer emotion is love. like right now." he was chewing on his bottom lip, looking the slighest bit hopeful. "will you forgive me? do you understand, at least?"
she nodded slowly. "i understand, i really do. and i forgive you."
"so what do you say? would you like to come back to new york city with me?" he asked, his tone having that underlying plead that drove ely insane. his smile became wider, and was genuine. radiating, affectionate.
and she hated that what she was going to say next.
"i can't."
every positive feeling on his face broke and fell. "what? why?"
there were tears in elyshia's eyes as she tried to speak coherently and audibly and clearly, just so he would understand. understand her, understand this decision, understand why she was probably being incredibly selfish. "i love you, salvator, and i really do want to go back home with you, but i just can't. i can't drop everything for this, not when causter oaks has been more of a home to me than queens ever was. i sought a place to escape, craved it, and causter oaks was this place. i can't just drop it."
"i thought you said you missed it." salvator's voice was deadly quiet, trying to understand. it was killing her, tearing her apart limb from limb.
"i do," she said softly. "i do, salvator, i really do. but i'm not ready to go back. i miss it so much, and i'm sure lydia and jen do too. but i can't handle that. i don't think i could face them yet, without seeing their guarded expressions like they don't know what do with me, like i have some sort of disease. it will be worse, so much worse in new york city than it is here. these people know me better than i know myself. they remember more about me than i do. and they'll look at me with pity, disgust, maybe worse. i can't handle that. not yet."
"i'll be there, i'll be there to protect you. to, i don't know, help you," he sounded frustrated, and close to tears himself. he didn't understand. "this is my battle as much as it is yours. i was there that day. it's every bit of my hell as it is yours. i've had questions about what happened, you know, and although each one made me want to stab myself in the throat, i coped. barely, but i coped. i didn't have anyone. i didn't have you. but you have me. i'll help you through this, i promise. just come home with me."
elyshia gently, tentatively took his hand in both of her own thin and small ones. "salvator, i'm sorry you had to go through that. but this is my home. i can't go back."
salvator looked down at his hand, trapped in hers. the corners of his mouth fell, and he seemed to have given up. but even more, he seemed to have understood, at last. "you're letting me go. just like that?"
one lone tear slipped down her cheek. only one. "i'm not letting you go. i'm just... letting you wander in the backyard for a bit."
"huh?"
"i'll come back home, back to queens. but just, not now. i'm still not ready for that. finish college. and when you've finished and you're ready to come back to me, tell me. i'll be waiting, and by then, hopefully i'll be ready." she squeezed his hand. "this isn't the last of us, salvator. you and i, we're eternal."
a smile of resignation and of hope emerged from its previously sour pucker. "yes we are. you're coming home regardless. i don't care how long it'll take, as long as you're going back, that's all that matters. as long as you get to be with me, as long as it's not the end of us, i don't care how long it'll take."
☾☆☽
the cab was already at the curb, its engine running somewhat noisily. the driver was grumbling at the driver's seat, probably about the un-plowed roads. elyshia watched from behind the glass door of the coffee shop as salvator approached the cab slowly, deliberately. like elyshia, he probably didn't want to say good bye. but it wasn't good bye, not really.
it was 'see you later.'
elyshia wished she could say something. do something. she might not hear from him until a year, two years, maybe even five years. she might not want to come back until a year, five years, twenty years. she wanted something that would last, something that would make both of the smile at night. she owed him her life, but she couldn't give him that.
she watched as his hand reached for the handle to the backseat of the cab and an idea hit her. a completely un-elyshia idea. she yanked the door open, ignoring the loud protesting of her boss behind her as she ran towards him in the snow, grabbing his outstretched hand.
"elyshia?" salvator's eyebrows were knit in bewilderment. "what are you doing? without a jacket? elyshia you're going to get sick..."
"i wanted," she said a little breathlessly, maybe because of the adrenaline. "to say good bye."
and with that, she stood on tiptoe, allowed her eyes to flutter closed, and pressed her mouth firmly against his. a great, dizzying rush and the loud pounding of her heart confirmed she was still alive. his chapped lips (probably from the cold) were frozen in place. salvator was shocked.
then she felt him smile against the kiss and wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him (she still had his hand). his mouth moved in sync against hers and it wasn't needy or desperate or anything. it was still charged with passion, but it was slow and sweet and definitely something to remember. deep in her stomach, she could feel the squirming, the beautiful sensation of what it was to kiss someone who you loved and who loved you. the beautiful sensation of love and sacrifice.
it seemed like hours they were like that. perhaps days. years.
but it was salvator who pulled away. however, not quite really pulled away. his forehead was pressed against hers and a goofy grin was plastered permanently on his face. "i love you, elyshia meredith locke."
"i love you too," her pulse was erratic. she couldn't control the shy smile on her mouth either and the pink tinge on her cheeks.
"i have to go now," he whispered and he reluctantly released her. "i'll be back. i promise, i swear to every single god i know, that i'll be back. don't forget that."
with one last look at her, salvator saxon gently pried his hand from elyshia's and pulled open the cab door. their eyes were still locked when he hopped inside, when the door closed.
it was only when the cab sped away, leaving a now-freezing, flushed elyshia locke on the sidewalk in nothing but worn snow boots, faded jeans, a thin black shirt, and a flurry of special words and feelings stronger than any blizzard recorded in history.
☾☆☽
the end, BUT...
stay tuned for ONE more somno update. ;) it's a secret!
also, i apologize for any typos. this was written super quickly with so much excitement and emotionalness (that's not a word, is it? haha).