I COULD FEEL HER ANGER SIMMER between us. I looked through the window, giving her my back to try to make it less awkward. Jacqueline didn't always get mad easily at me, she 'd often just get angry for a short while and then forget about it. But it's different this time, and I can see why. Earlier today, I told Jacqueline that I'd just take a quick swim at the beach and then text her to pick me up after an hour since I still didn't get my license. (I always had the fear of getting into a car accident ever since I was young and watched endless movies of people losing their loved ones because a drunk driver killed them.) So when the sun started setting, and I still hadn't called her, I could see why she'd panic.
Her constant overprotection was not without a reason, of course. Let's just say both of our parents were always here physically, but never mentally.
The familiar cobble-stoned roads lined with palm trees came into view, a sign that we were nearing the gates. I felt the pebbles and stone roll under the tires and pressed my face against the cool window, thinking of how I'd talk to Jacqueline in the house and what I'd tell her. She hadn't looked at me or spoke a word since I stepped into the car. We slowed down only for a second to greet the guards, Greg and Larry. I gave them a smile as well which was returned with a wave. The iron, tall gates opened and we drove around the glazed ceramic fountain with an angel spraying water out of its mouth in a perfect curve into the pool it was in.
Finally, she stopped in front of our tall one-way mirror glass front doors that looked black and opaque on the outside. She turned off the engine, and climbed out of the car, shutting the door with force. The sound rattled through me, making her anger clear as day.
I followed her into the house with a sigh. "Jacqueline, come on, it wasn't that bad. I'm okay, aren't I?"
She paused on her way to the stairs and turned around slowly. Her angular, deep-set Asian eyes looked exactly like mine. They were the only thing that we had in common along with our sleek black hair. She was the tall, skinny sister, and I was the short curvy one. Right now though, because of the whirl of emotions held behind those eyes that threatened to explode, it was the first time, she looked so different in every aspect.
"Okay? Yeah, you are in one piece; of course, you're okay. But this isn't. I almost went to call the police because I spent all day looking for you. You weren't at the beach, Jade. You know, normal people would label you missing. You weren't answering your phone, and mom and dad said 'she'll pop up soon'. And now, I find out you were knocked out, unconscious for a while, and then you finally call me and ask me why I was so mad. When will you snap out of this, and realize that I'm trying to hold us together and. . . You know what, never mind, I need to start my homework, I was too busy all day, wasting my time."
I grimaced when she emphasized the last part and watched her black haired-head climb the stairs without looking back.
So much for trying to talk to her.
---
The next day, I unintentionally woke up an hour earlier than I was supposed to but got out of bed nevertheless. It's better to be early than late on the first day of school, I thought as I slipped out of bed and stepped into the bathroom in my cotton pajamas. After washing up, I walked out and picked an outfit; a black Thrasher over-sized shirt and washed jeans that I paired with white Doc Martins. I went through my normal routine of makeup; a full face. It wasn't my face that I was insecure about as much as I was of the rest of my body, but the makeup just gave me a silver of confidence. A lot of times I wished I was like the girls who chose a natural face, but it was never my thing.
Before leaving my room, I took one last glance at my messy room, contemplating cleaning it. My comforter was half strewn on the floor and my pajamas were next to it. Plates from last night and two empty water bottles were on the bed and the floor, and my makeup was unorganized on my hairdresser. It didn't take much to decide that I'd clean it when I came back, and I walked out of my room to the kitchen downstairs.
Jacqueline was standing next to our chef, Serine, holding a pan with a mix of vegetables sizzling in it. She more often than not cooked her lunch and took it with her to school because the vegetarian snacks there tasted like 'frozen food that was chewed up by a dog and then spat out on a plate'.
"Good morning, Jade," Serine chirped in her Indian accent with a smile, wrinkles appearing on the side of her mouth and corner of her deep-set, almond eyes.
"Hey, Serine," I said, eyeing the sizzling pan, my stomach yearning for that spicy, South Asian scent, "You think you can whip something up for me real quick?"
"Of course, what do you want me to whip?" she smiles and I laugh.
"Anything small."
She ordered me to cut up a few vegetables for my meal, and I obliged, watching her clean the frying pan and drizzling a bit of oil, causing the frying pan to hiss. Serine was the closest thing we had to a motherly figure. Our parents hired her when we were very young, and ever since then we enjoyed her home-cooked delicious meals, and she'd be the first person to hear about our personal struggles.
"Thanks, Serine, I need to go to school now," Jacqueline said, closing her transparent, plastic lunch box with a click before putting it in her bag. "See you later."
I realized that I didn't have a ride to school when she chose to not wait for me. Great. Pulling out my phone, I dialed in my passcode and opened the Uber app, ordering one.
"She's not dropping you to school today?" Serine stated instead of asking as she poured the spicy Dal ka Paratha onto a plate before sliding it to me. "She was very worried about you, you know?"
"She told you, of course. Don't you think she's a bit overreacting?" I sighed.
She pursed her full lips in thought. "Take it easy on her, eh? It's not easy for her to be the parent in your house."
I nodded silently, turning her words over in my mind. She was right, and I realized I wasn't thinking about other people including her when I let her worry like that. I took a bite from my Indian plate. Both the spices and the sweet flavors burst in my mouth all at once, like a little confetti party on my tongue. I opened my mouth and sucked in a breath to cool down my hot tongue, making Serine chuckle.
After finishing my meal quickly, I washed the plate in the sink, kissed Serine on the cheek as a thank you, and stepped outside to meet my Uber.
---
The school loomed into view, and with it, feelings of dread rose in my chest, making my stomach go queasy and my hands to become clammy with sweat. Before coming here, I had reassured myself that it was all in the past; that I was a new person. My anxiety and problems were all in the past and I ditched them when I ditched those same toxic people who brought my insecurities to life. But now that I was in this familiar, nostalgic place, it brought back many unwanted memories.
The driver dropped me off in front of the gate, and I thanked him before stepping out. Everyone was buzzing with this profound energy after having not seen each other for two months. A girl in a too-short skirt jumped into another girl's arm with matching grins. A group of guys in football jackets slapped each other's backs and talked enthusiastically loud about things that guys normally talk about. I heard a ring of bro's as they echoed each other when I passed them.
The familiar greasy scent of cafeteria food and heavy girl's vanilla perfume hit me when I stepped into our main building. With over 500 students in each grade, our public school was huge, and the halls were never empty. It was not weird that you'd almost always have someone touch your shoulder in the crowded school, despite the fact that it was one of the biggest schools in Clairemont, San Diego. After getting my locker number from the administration's receptionist, I walked our familiar halls, my eyes in search of my locker within all the identical blue metal boxes.
Spotting the 102 locker, I put in my combination code, and unlocked it, piling in all the school books I had from my bag that I bought a few days ago. I pulled out a compact mirror and hung it on the inner wall of my locker before using it to reapply a coat of my Victoria's Secret lipgloss. Internally, I groaned as I realized some of it had gotten on my upper lip and I had to wipe it with my finger—
The locker shut close with a bang, and I stepped back in time before losing my nose.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I exclaimed in annoyance as I closed the gloss tube with a pop before glancing up.
Oh no.
"Greeting our favorite girl."
Standing in front of me, were Richland High's all-time favorite girls. Talia Joseph, Destiny Reed, and Lena Dyle. The most admired brunette, redhead, and blondie of this school.
"And do your greetings have to come with my losing my nose?"
"You're still funny as ever, Jadie," Destiny grinned, flipping her bright red hair over her shoulder.
I gave her a blank look. She blinked, the stupid smile still on her face.
"Anyways, we wondering," Talia drawled, "if you changed your mind about our thing."
I snorted and crossed my arms. "I'm not coming back to your dumb group."
"What are you, too good for us?" Lena mocked, earning a deadly glare from Talia that shut her up
"Yes."
Talia threw her head back and laughed a laugh that sounded painfully forced.
"You're laughing quite a lot. Be careful or that makeup cake on your face might fall off." I snorted.
"Stop being so funny then," she replied, the smile not wavering on her face.
"Mhm."
"What about all the good memories we had together ever since we were friends in first grade? Has it all gone to waste?"
This time I was hesitant in my answer. It was true; the four of us were always joined by the hip, and if we weren't at one of our houses, we were together in another's. We shared our first period stories, first kiss, first boyfriend, first everything. But things change, and people grow up and change. That's just how life is.
"It was fun while it lasted, but you guys brought it to yourselves," I said, not being able to hide the bitterness in my voice.
"Come on, it's not like you were—" The bell rang, cutting Destiny off mid-sentence.
"Good talk. I'll see you later," I smiled shortly before turning around and disappearing into the crowd and out of their sight.