From the view of any passersby, Hera would have appeared perfectly calm. She would have seemed composed - waiting patiently in the medcenter lobby like any other member of a family waiting for news on a loved one. If anything, she would have seemed a bit too calm, given the circumstances.
But Kanan knew better. He knew the signs. The way her knee was slowly rocking back and forth, casually bumping into his own on occasion. The sound of her lekkus brushing against the shirt of her flight suit as she continually fussed with their positioning. Even her slow breathing pattern was too perfect not to have been intentional and forced. All of these near-imperceptible quirks - more than likely unnoticed by anyone but him - were dead giveaways of how she was truly feeling in that moment: stressed out of her mind.
And Kanan couldn't blame her. After all, he'd have been lying had he said that his previous attempt to be calm and control is fear hadn't flown out the window the moment his Padawan had the first seizure. Then, when Ezra had stopped breathing entirely, Kanan had let himself descend into pure panic. It had all felt just too real. Ezra had been dying, and Kanan could feel every single second of it - the bond they shared slowly slipping from his grasp, teasing him with the loss of yet another sacred bond between Master and Padawan. He couldn't help but feel cursed.
But then Ezra was back. Weak, but not going anywhere, and although he was holding onto their bond perhaps a bit more tightly than he had been before, Kanan was able to calm himself considerably since arriving at the medical outpost on Mandalore, recentering himself and even slipping into light meditation here and there as they waited to hear about Ezra's condition.
But where he was becoming more hopeful about the situation, Hera seemed to grow even more worried and disbondment as time passed. He supposed it made sense, all things considering. After all, she didn't share the same bond that he did with Ezra. So while he felt Ezra's growing spirit and resolve not to give up, all she had seen was a boy barely clinging to life. And for all she knew, Ezra was still in that state or worse.
So, strangely enough, Kanan found himself in the position of a comforter for the second time in these past few days.
Just like in the hallway earlier, neither of them said a word. No words were needed. Instead, he just reached out and grasped her hand lightly - an invitation to let her guard down. At first, she seemed hesitant, as if she had already resigned herself to suffer in quiet and would refuse the offer of support. But it appeared that she had quickly thought better of it and let herself scooch back towards him, leaning in to rest her head against his waiting shoulder.
No thoughts were exchanged. No tears were shed. They just sat in silence - two vulnerable souls letting themselves be broken together for awhile. The future might have looked bleak and uncertain, but at least they knew they would face it together.
Another twenty minutes passed before the silence was interrupted with Sabine's arrival, which was something akin to an emotional tornado. She burst through the doors without any of her typical, witty remarks or fanfare, looking unusually disheveled, even considering how early in the morning it was. Upon closer inspection, Hera could see that her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and that there were subtle tear tracks maring her cheeks. She supposed someone had told her what had happened, then.
Sabine had entered with a frustrated cry on her lips, but after a few inevitable yet brief sobs, it would have seemed that she, too, had few words to say. She explained that she had been told of Ezra's condition as she came in and that the nurses in the hall still had no updates. Solemn nods were all that were exchanged between the lot before Zeb quietly reached out his hand and welcomed her to join in on their vigil; their small chain of silence and support - of fear and hope.
The crew had sat there together for nearly an hour more before a medical droid finally came out to address them.
The moment the doors opened, the entire crew was at attention; their posture so suddenly perfect and straight that one would have assumed it to be practiced. The medical droid took little head to their behavior, however, and proceeded to address them in the same cold, mechanical tone that one would expect to hear from AP-5.
"Am I correct in assuming that you are here for patient Bridger, Ezra?" it quipped, almost mockingly.
At that remark, Zeb began to growl under his breath, looking as though he was ready to tackle the droid to the ground at any moment before Hera cut him short with a pointed look.
"Yes, we're his primary guardians," Hera explained, gesturing towards herself and Kanan, secretly as irritated with the situation as Zeb was. She figured for as long as they had waited, they would at least have sent out a more sympathetic informant to address them.
The droid hummed in casual acknowledgment before projecting a series of medical holos in the space between them all, flipping through them and mechanically explaining the significance of each one.
"Patient Bridger was brought into us displaying many of the symptoms associated with most bacterial forms of meningitis. In response, we've taken multiple scans of the patient's cranial and spinal regions, they being the areas most often affected by this kind of illness. As you can see, the scans show significant swelling in the menangis as well as the spinal column. This all but confirms our initial assumption of bacterial meningitis, and in response we have started him on a dose of broad spectrum antibiotics. However, further testing in required to confirm the type of infection and carry on with further treatment." The droid explained it all with an air of indifference, as if there wasn't a life currently hanging in the balance. Hera supposed he couldn't help it, but she was still irked. This was their family member, and this was how the doctors chose to relay information to them?
Evidently, she wasn't alone in her annoyance.
"Are you kidding me?!" Sabine stood up very suddenly, the entire room immediately falling into silence. "We've been waiting for hours and that's all you have?! I could have told you that myself! In fact, I did!! And then you come out here acting like this is no big deal!" Her voice echoed menacingly throughout the small waiting area as she paused to catch her breath. "My brother stopped breathing. Don't you understand that?! I think we have the right to know a little bit more as to why and how we can make sure it doesn't happen again!"
At that point, Sabine was practically fuming, her chest rising and falling with such ferocity that even Zeb felt the need to intervene. Rising to his feet, he lightly gripped her arms from behind - not forcing her to sit or even to stand down, but at least implying that she not do anything too rash.
"I think what she means," Kanan cleared his throat and interjected - not entirely happy with Sabine's outburst, but not entirely in disagreeance either, "is that we're just a bit confused as to why the doctor's don't know more yet. We haven't even been told his prognosis," he explained, trying his hardest to repress the underlying irritation in his voice.
The droid, however, still seemed thoroughly uninterested in the entire affair, and responded as if this was all mundane and unimportant.
"As you are no doubt aware, we are in the midst of a series of armed skirmishes. The need for medical services on Mandalore has greatly increased in the past few weeks, while the number of available medical professionals and droids such as myself have greatly diminished. We at this outpost are working at the pace we can given our limited personnel and resources. As for Patient Bridger's current prognosis, the chances of survival with the timely administration of the proper treatments are approximately 54.6442%, with the chances of the patient suffering any long-lasting side-effects post-recovery currently being at around 67.21%. Of course, these estimates may change as further data is acquired."
Hera was the first to speak up this time, the weight of the droid's words really hitting her.
"So you're saying that even if you get him the proper treatment soon, there's still around a 50% chance that Ezra will die?" she whispered softly, willing her voice not to crack as she forced the very suggestion of Ezra's death far from her mind.
The droid seemed annoyed at the question, as though it was so clear and obvious as to not warrant an additional explanation. "It's actually closer to around a 45.3558% chance, but yes, that is the general idea."
The group was deathly silent for a moment, the only sounds the could be heard being the lobby's air vent and the gently plit of Sabine's tears as they hit her breastplate one after the other.
The droid was the first one to break the silence. "One of you will probably wish to be with the patient while the next set of testing occurs. Even with our advanced technology, procedures such as spinal taps are reported to be very painful."
Hera gripped Kanan's hand a bit tighter, staring directly into his unseeing eyes.
"You should go, Kanan," she insisted, the resolution behind her words surprising Kanan to some degree. Yes, Hera was selfless enough to pull something like this, but he figured that the fear she was displaying mere moments ago would have prevented her at least a little from being so insistent upon it.
He took a deep breath, not ready to allow her to suffer on behalf of him. As much as he wanted to be beside his Padawan during this time, he knew that Hera needed it more.
"It's okay, Hera. I know you want to see him. Besides, I have our bond, so I won't be totally in the dark, so to speak," he smiled slightly, hoping that the small jab at himself would loosen the tension in the room at least a little bit and perhaps reassure her into taking his place. But her rejection of the idea was almost instantaneous.
"No, Kanan. You've been acting so strong for me, you should be in there with your Padawan." Her tone was stern, almost as if she was scolding him.
The droid soon chimed in impatiently. "I need you two to decide rather quickly so we can proceed with the examination."
"Go, Kanan," Hera whispered assuradely, gripping his hands in her own, her lips ghosting over his ears in and almost impressively vulnerable gesture.
Kanan took a deep breath, knowing that there was no way he would win this argument. Instead, he simply rose to his feet and turned to address the crew as a whole once more before he left.
"I'll be right back..."
And with that, Kanan followed the medical droid down the hall, disappearing from the view of the rest of the crew as he made his way deeper and deeper into the facility and closer and closer towards the boy that needed him.
AN: Sleep? I don't know her. Please let me know if I effed up anywhere. I love you all! Don't do drugs!