Soorry for the delay.....
As I drove through the gates of this huge estate I felt my heart beat against my ribs, I felt it choke me to tears. The familiar fragrance of home was calling out to me, bringing back memories I had buried somewhere, deep inside of me and forced myself to believe that I had forgotten them. Ridiculously now, those seemingly long forgotten memories were back and as sharp and as clear as though they had happened just yesterday. I could hear the voices again, could feel all those emotions again.. They were just beyond me, just a little out of reach...
As I drove through the drive way, two very deep and conflicting emotions assailed me. A part of me was angry at not returning home sooner while the other, the more cowardly part wanted to drive through and not stop. It wanted to go away again. It feared those painful memories that were buried deep in me, those that had not yet healed, those that somehow refused to heal.
“Will you come back soon? Promise?” I heard an innocent little voice sniffle as she held my hand for the last time before letting me go. My hand tightened on the steering wheel as tears clouded my vision and my heart grew heavier than before, if that was even possible. It was this voice, that promise that eventually stopped me from turning around and driving away. I halted my Martin in front of the entrance and forced myself to get out. As I did I realised how much I had forgotten. This mansion was so much more than just structural magnificence, it was a home filled with love and warmth and laughter.
I walked towards the stairs and stopped. I was losing my nerves now. My palms were sweaty and and heart was just about to burst. Was I doing the right thing?
“We miss you my darling, come home soon.” I could hear my sisters loving voice blast my ears over the phone.
Taking a deep breath I ran up the stairs. I didn’t want to lose my already shaky courage any more than I already had.
I didn’t even have to ring the bell. As soon as I reached the landing, I was attacked by a laughing hellfire who was busy giving me warm hugs and wet kisses to realise that I was being strangled and choked to death. I was attacked with warm wet hugs, laughter, chatter, kisses, admonishments, threats, love, more kisses and even more wet, teary hugs. In short I was being mauled by my sister, Amara, Amy as I always called her.
Even after all these years she was still a bubbly little bundle of energy. I mean come on even after four children she refused to behave her age and show some modicum of maturity and sophistication. “You will strangle him love, let him breathe a bit.” I heard Sam, my brother-in-law, lovingly berate his wife. I thanked him with my eyes as Amy let me go and attacked him instead. But he simply pulled her and me into his huge bear hug and at once every fear, second thoughts and doubts flew away. Strong warm arms that had sworn to protect the two of us all those years ago still felt the same, warm and full of love.
“Welcome home buddy.” he whispered gruffly , I knew he too was just as emotional as I was and yet worse than me in displaying it.
Stepping aside, they both pulled me through the door, into their warm home and my heaven.
I was greeted by Albert, Sam’s butler but more like a father. He greeted me with arms wide open, a toothy smile and tears in his eyes, smiling like a father greeting his long lost son with love. What shocked me most was that he was in a wheelchair, not by the door like he would usually be found.
A wheelchair! How many years had I been away? I thought as guilt clenched my heart and cut through me. I had truly been selfish.
Gulping my tears and hiding my pain and guilt I ran to him and into his outstretched arms and hugged him tight. Kneeling next to him, I put my head in his lap and whispered, “Missed you daddy Albert.”
“Missed you too my son.” He whispered back as I felt a tear fall on my head. God! I had made him cry. I had been so damn selfish! I didn’t even bother about others’ in my haste to escape.
“Come Master Liam, tea is served.” I head Albert’s jovial voice call out to me and I jerked up in surprise. There, staring down at me with a loving smile was a twenty years younger Albert!
Zapped I starred at Albert and Albert as both stared at me with patronising smiles.
“Liam, meet my nephew Albert.” Laughed Albert on the wheelchair.
“Oh! You mean Albert and Albert!” I joked and joined in with the others who were guffawing at me.
We went in for tea. I pushed Albert’s wheelchair while Amy and Sam walked in arm in arm. There was something really special about thier love. It was infectious. I silently thank the Lord for giving my sister so much love and happiness. But somewhere, watching the two of them filled me with lonliness, the kind no one but your better half could fill. I hated myself for feeling jealous but I honestly couldn’t help myself.
We chatted over tea and cakes as of the physical distance of these years past never existed. I had been in touch with them through video conferencing and emails and chats but I hadn’t met them for over eleven years. I had been away from this warmth, this love for over a decade and with each passing minute the guilt, the pain, the anger at myself for staying away was intensifying. Perhaps I didn’t feel worthy of this place, of this love.
Suddenly, the doors to the room burst open and three strapping young kids flew right in yelling, “MOM!” at the top of their lungs. Amy’s countenance changed immediately, she shifted from being Amy to Mom just at the sound of her children. Pride, love, joy, maturity and so much more shone from her face as she engulfed her young ones’ in her arms and held each and every one tight as they came and collided into her. The others looked on and laughed with love. They knew this scene well perhaps.
Amy,the youngest, named after her mother, snuggled into Sam after hugging her mom and sat like a queen on her throne before ordering Sam to pass her some pastry. I laughed at her and she eyed me with disdain. Stunned, I looked at Sam who simply winked at me before passing his little princess her pastry.
Jake, her second son, older than Amy by a huge seven years, making him a grand old man of twelve, hugged his mom, kissed her head, high-fived Sam and both the Alberts’ before attacking the sandwiches with a gusto. He was followed by Sam’s eldest boy Peter, who at 15 looked so much like his dad that I really felt my heart stop for a second. His maturity shinned in his eyes and yet they were filled with love and respect. He hugged his mom the longest and accepted a kiss from her before following Jake’s example of high-fives and then he noticed me. His face transformed. He smiled and shook hands with me, “ Uncle Liam.” He nodded and I could only ‘smile as I heard his voice, a faint copy of his father’s. I couldn’t help but stare at the boy I left behind as a four year old toddler. How much had he grown, changed.
I should have been there. This thought really kept on yelling itself in my head. How I hated myself.
“Jake, Amy, won’t you guys great your Uncle Liam?” Sam asked as he ruffled his princess’ curls.
Obediently, like the angels they weren’t, they chanted a “Hello Uncle Liam” before getting back to their jobs of demolishing their tea.
“Uncle Liam” Jake suddenly quipped, “ May I warn you?” he asked with the
great trepidation of a twelve year old.
“What about?” I asked mumbled in between mouthfuls of the immensely delicious cupcake.
“You better run and hide.” He whispered in all seriousness. “Lily is in a horrid mood and she will surely kill you.” He added dramatically.
That startled me. “Why would she kill me?” I asked him.
“Yes, yes. Kill you.” Chimed in little Amy as she continued to hog her cupcake with an inherent grace that made hogging look like a queen’s pass time.
“Why?” I asked again, to no one in particular and yet to all of them.
“Well, she is fuming and now you’re here, you are so gonna be dead meat.” Peter replied solemnly with exasperation for my dim-wit I guess, or perhaps Lily’s anger.
Just as I was about to ask him to explain himself, an amazingly familiar fragnance caught my attention and I looked up to see a young lady walking in. Beautiful didn’t even begin to describe her. Fiery red silky hair, green almond shaped eyes, rose petal soft lips and a body to die for, a body I knew so damn intimately, a body created to bring men down to their knees.
A body I had been dreaming of and day dreaming of over the past weeks!
Her mere presence calmed me, filled me with a sense of completion while making me restless and impatient, making me want to want her more. I don’t know how but suddenly all emotions were warring in me, each of them as fiercely as the next. My heart wanted to burst, I don’t know which emotion was causing it though, my brain was too numb to react appropriately, all it chanted was, “ She’s that one.. the one you have been searching for..”
I stood up to greet my wife, a smile finally snuck through and positioned itself on my face, pride shone through my eyes as I watched my beautiful wife gracefully float in. I had to tell her, I just had to that darling I had been searching you for over three weeks now. Oh my darling....
What was her name ?
Oh God! I just realized as I stared at this vision, I didn’t even know my wife’s name and I wanted to greet her!
“Liam meet Lily. Lily, you remember Liam right?” Amy asked softly as she too stood. She was between the two of us. I felt this intense need to shove her aside so that I could gaze at my Venus properly. Her words were slow to penetrate into my brains as my eyes and brain were busy soaking in this beauty. She was magical, totally mesmerising. As the haze of her presence lifted I understood Amara’s words.
“Liam meet Lily, Lily, you remember Liam right?”
Oh Dear God!! She was Lily!
Her eyes fell on me and they went wide. Wide with shock and recognition. Her lips parted slightly as if to say something, but she didn’t utter a word, only looked like a pretty gold fish, her entire body stilled for a second as she whispered, “Uncle Liam”, she whispered horrified at the sound of my name, “ You are Uncle Liam?” She asked again and I could only nod.
It was then that my brains finally registered the connection. Amara’s and Lily’s words now began to mean something to me..
My wife’s name is Lily. I thought. I like that
She called me Uncle Liam.
Wait a second, UNCLE?
Oh God! She was Lily! Amara’s Lily!
My wife called me UNCLE?
The horror of what we had done began seeping in as I too stared into her eyes. My heart literally stopped beating. It simply gave in. I stood staring at the angel I had been dreaming about for what seemed like an eternity. She stared back at me, with disgust and horror. Our eyes as big as saucers and both of us whispered, “Oh God!”
Suddenly, Lily swayed, her eyes lost focus and she crumpled and fainted before she fell.
“Lily!” I yelled and ran towards her as she hit the floor....
..........
Ok I know you are disgusted, but please don't be. Read the last chapter of You're the One I Love and perhaps a lot of this would be clear to you then....
Please please lemme know your thoguhts.....
Love you
thank you
<3<3