Chapter Seventeen
Pondering
Abby awoke in the predawn hours by the noises made by the returning men. She felt nauseous and sore all over. What had happened last night? She smacked her mouth, disgusted by the acrid taste.
The auburn rubbed her gritty eyes and sighed. She'd better get up to face the day. When she moved, she found her inner thighs cried out in protest. The muscles were really tender... unbelievably so. The young woman had never been so uncomfortable there before in her life!
Abby threw back her covers and nearly screamed! When she looked down, she saw bloody whelps from the branches and bruises from the many falls. However, the biggest shock was that she was... naked!
Then it all came flooding back to her at once. Hell, she thought she'd had the best dream of her life... and the scariest, but now that she knew it was real, very real, and she was truly frightened.
What would Cole do? Would he keep his word or would he tell on her and get her fired? How was she supposed to act around him? More importantly, did he really care about her? How would he act?
Quickly, Abby put her wrap back in place and dressed. Then she got her horse and saddled Thunder up. She looked around but didn't notice Cole anywhere yet.
At breakfast, she grabbed her plate and sat by Jackson.
"How ya feelin' today, Little Buddy?"
"Like shit."
"Ya, me, too. Drank more than I shuda."
"Yep."
"The men from town are worse off than us, though. They just dragged in ta camp."
"Ya, I heard them. I'm not sure they feel worse than I do, though."
Jackson looked at her in sympathy.
"I'm sorry, lil Buddy. Wish I cud do somethin' fer ya."
"Me, too. I got a lil bit of a headache comin' on."
"Drink ya some water. It kin help ward off a bad 'un."
Still at breakfast, Abby didn't see any sign of Cole. She felt saddened that he hadn't sought her out. On the other hand, Ray, the man she really didn't want to see, sat directly across from her.
The big read head did look worse for wear. His skin looked sallow, and he had bags under his eyes. When she caught Ray's glance, she rapidly looked away. Abby didn't think she could take any razzing from him at this point.
It wasn't long before the cowboys mounted and began to take their places along the line of cattle. That's when Abby saw Cole for the first time since the evening before. Her heart jumped at the sight of him, and then she nearly fell off her horse: Cole was talking with the boss man, Joe.
Abby's heart felt like it was going to burst. She felt weak in the knees with fear. And to top it off, the men seemed to be coming her way!
When Joe got closer to Cole's group, he motioned for the men to gather around.
"Hands, in the next three days, we'll be a comin' up on one of the most dangerous legs of our journey: The Red River. I want us to take ourn time and be well-rested. Save yer best an' strongest horse. Many men an cattle don't make it across."
As Joe made his way along the lines of workers, he repeated this over and over. He appeared to truly be concerned. Cole stayed by his side.
One his way by, Cole's green orbs finally made contact with Abby's. He nodded to her and then passed her by. At least her heart-catapult had subsided, but now it felt as if it had been stabbed. He hadn't told on her, but he wouldn't hardly look at her. In fact, he seemed a little angry.
Abby contemplated all the circumstances. She considered that the way he found out had been quite a shock, and he had every right to be angry that she had fooled them all... but that was only IF he hadn't slept with her! Who should really be angry? SHE should!
But she wasn't angry; she was hurt. Cole discovered that she'd never been with a man, but that hadn't stopped him. He knew she was drunk, but still, he took the only thing that had belonged to just her. Didn't she have more of a right to be angry than he? Hell if she didn't!
However, Abby dared not confront the man. She had a family to support, and her father and sisters were counting on her to come through. No, the auburn wouldn't be able to talk to Cole about it, and he obviously wasn't interested in talking to her.
Abby felt the hot sting of tears behind her eyes but knew that she couldn't show that kind of weakness. To date, she hadn't cried yet. It would be a dead giveaway if she started now!
Squaring her shoulders with new resolve, Abby ripped her eyes away from the attractive cowboy and did her best to focus on moving the cattle in a relaxed fashion.
The worst part of being a hand on a drive, aside from the danger of course, with the time spent alone. It gave one too much time to think... And think she did!
Wasn't it just yesterday that Cole told her he didn't have casual sex? What in the hell did he call what had happened between them when he couldn't hardly even look at her today? Abby knew what she called it: Casual sex. She had been used. The young woman was working herself up, and Abby knew she'd better go back to feeling hurt. She could not reveal herself.
What if all of the cowhands found out? Would they kick her out and expect her to travel all the way back home by herself? Would they leave her in a town and expect her to stay until she had a way back safely?
The problem was money. Abby couldn't stay anywhere to wait for them because she had no way to cover the costs which is why she was in this predicament in the first place! No, the auburn was going to have to play it cool and just realize that she was just as responsible for what happened as Cole.
Maybe he had initiated the first contact. Abby's mind flashed back to the whole, wonderful experience. She had never before felt anything so pleasing in her life, but she could've stopped it... several times. The young woman should've let him continue believing she was fourteen... but then she knew there was no way he'd have let her stay. At least with her being a fully grown woman, she was capable of being wholly responsible for the decisions she made.
Next, Abby's mind turned to Joe and he warnings about the Red River. Was it really as dangerous as he stated? It must be. He seemed truly concerned.
It led the teen to thinking about her family. What if something were to happen to her? What would occur to them? Would anyone even tell them what had happened? It would be terrible for them to wonder what happened to her when she never showed up there again!
Abby really had never thought about her death before, even with all the life-threatening things that had happened thus far. The scariest thing that could happen, in Abby's opinion, was drowning. She knew that being stabbed by the longhorns would be much more painful, but drowning was a life-long horror of hers.
She wasn't one to balk from fear. She'd jump in the river after cattle like any other hand would, but now that Joe had told them all about the dangers of that particular water way, Abby was scared. The auburn wished Joe hadn't mentioned it. Now she had a few days to ponder and let her fear grow rather than just facing it when it was stretched before her.
Finally, the day was called to a close. Unfortunately, it was Jackson and her turn to be on night watch. Each evening, a few men were called forth to keep an eye on the cattle while their teammates slept.
"I'm glad Cookie got new supplies," Abby said.
"Ya, this soup is damn good," Jackson agreed.
"So's this cornbread," Jim agreed. Then he added, "What ya think about this river comin' up?"
"Purty scary if'n ya ask me," Abby admitted. "I'm a bit nervous about it."
"I heared ya shud be," Jim stated.
"Why's that?" Jackson asked.
"I heared most men who die on this trial drowned in that river."
"No shit?"
"None."
Abby turned white and then struggled to eat.
"Ya okay, lil Buddy?" Jackson asked.
"Looks like he's a scared," Ray said, taking a seat with his bowl of food.
"Who wudta be?" asked Jim defensively.
"Oh, ya mus' be talkin' bout that river."
"Yep."
"I got ma a healthy scare of water that big, too," Ray admitted.
"How big is it?" Abby asked. "Have ya seen it?"
"No, I ain't a seen it, but I've talked to other'ns who have. It's a big mother."
The group looked at one another. Mother Nature deserved respect, and they all had a strong dose of it.