The flight back to Anea's cave took just under two hours. As we came in for a landing right back where I'd started, my good spirits faded into a kind of resigned disgust. Four solid days of hard work. Gone. And I doubted we'd been in any real rush to get back. And then Anea's actual landing sent me right back to fearing for my life.
She circled over the long, wide clearing at the base of her cliff a few times before approaching from the south. As she neared the ground, she backpedaled hard with huge sweeps of her wings in an attempt to slow down right before landing. She overdid it. She stalled out and dropped to the ground from over ten feet in the air. She had to roll onto her right side to avoid crushing me, and the impact still knocked me nearly senseless. We laid there for a moment, panting, then Anea let go of my chest and allowed me to slide off of her and onto my feet.
"You were right," I began, unable to project the scathing tone I wanted. I was too shaken from the close shave in which I'd been powerless to help myself. "That had to be way safer than just letting me ride on your back."
"Sorry," she muttered, actually sounding chastened as she got to her feet. She licked the wrist of her right wing several times while she furled her left. "That didn't happen last time I carried you. The headwind I was using to slow down died right when I really needed it. I'll admit you have a point about using all four legs to land. Gentle point landings are always tricky, and I'd trip landing at a run on three legs. I just worry you won't be able to hold on while I take off. I can't do that gently." She shook her right wing and tucked it back against her side, then began to walk further south. I followed, searching for the cave entrance.
The jagged cliff side cast multitudes of pitch black shadows in the stark afternoon light, and I only spotted the opening a few seconds before Anea turned to head into it. With this kind of lighting, she almost seemed to vanish straight into the bare rock face of the cliff. The sight was off-putting, causing me to shudder as I followed into the passage. The inside was pitch black to my daylight soaked eyes. I moved my feet cautiously, alert for any invisible obstacles that could trip me, and ran a hand along the right wall to guide me until light reappeared ahead. Soon after, the passage opened into the all too familiar cavern.
Anea was already sorting through a dwindling pile of branches for fuel to feed to her fire, which had smoldered down to a glowing bed of coals. I paused at the threshold, trying to decide how I felt about being back here. It was a mixed bag. On the one hand, this cave was warm, dry, and defensible. After spending so much miserable time out in the open, it would be a long time before I took shelter for granted again. On the other hand, if I'd had my way from the beginning, I'd never even have known this place existed. Was I looking into a refuge, or a prison cell? That was ultimately up to Anea. My only way out of here was persuading her to release me.
The dragon stacked almost all of the branches she'd saved onto her fire, then she turned to me. "Well, are you just going to stand there all day then?"
"Sorry. It's just..." I sighed and walked over to the corner where I preferred to stack my stuff. "I meant to never see the inside of this cave again. It's weird being back here." It kind of threw my failure back in my own face, if I was honest with myself. Sure, now I knew that if I'd managed to get away, I'd have probably immolated myself and maybe even an innocent bystander or three within the week. That didn't change the fact that I'd never have returned if Anea hadn't run me down.
"You're unhappy," she observed as I dropped my gear into a disorganized pile and sat down beside it.
"Yeah, I guess I am," I sighed, reaching down to untie my boots. That might have been the best way to describe how I felt. Not angry or resentful; just displeased, thoroughly dissatisfied with how things had gone.
"But," Anea pressed, stepping closer to lay down right in front of me. "You agreed that you shouldn't go back to other humans yet. We have time, a few days at least, when we both want you out here. We both know you like being with me, so why not be happy we can spend some time together without a fight looming over us." I carefully removed my right boot, easing it past the stiff ankle.
"Because I can't stop thinking about what you might decide to do with me. I'm out of options. All I can do is try to convince you to drop me off at the edge of this park, or wherever the hell we are." I'd come to the conclusion that Anea's territory must lay in a national forest of some kind. Even while we were flying together, I hadn't seen any roads, railroads, or even powerlines crossing the land beneath us. There was no sign of human presence anywhere. "If you decide to keep me out here, then that's it. We just proved I can't escape from you for long. I'm not used to losing, and I hate that you've got me cornered." Anea shuffled her wings, grunted uncomfortably, and then scooted a few feet to the left.
"Is that better?" she asked, making me chuckle despite my grim mood. She'd moved so she wasn't physically hemming me against the wall.
"Anea," I said, shaking my head. "Come on, you know what I meant. You've got me trapped as long as you like, whether you hunker over me or not." She sighed and laid her head out on the ground, her wings drooping.
"I don't want to trap you. I don't even want you to feel trapped. I can tell you that what I need you for... If I can't get you to help me willingly, it isn't something I can force you to do. You might have learned," Her eyes flicked up to meet mine, "that you can't get away from me unless I allow it. I'm not as certain, but you definitely showed me that I can't make you do anything you don't want. Trying to convince you is my only option as well. And if I'm making you feel miserable and trapped, you probably won't change your mind about wanting to leave more than anything else..." she trailed off, her eyes drifting away from me to stare at nothing for a while.
I let the silence hang in lieu of confirming her statement. My actions over the past few days had said more on that subject than I could ever put into words. Anea scraped her right talons across the ground, once, twice, then clenched them into a fist as she took a deep bracing breath.
"Alright. What I really want from you, what I need," she reasoned, speaking mostly to herself, "is for you to decide to help me. It won't do me any good to keep you here against your will... That could actually be very dangerous." She lifted her head off the ground and looked me over again, seeming to struggle with her next words. Meanwhile I, following her logic and guessing where it might be headed, began to feel a flicker of hope in my heart.
"If keeping me with you as a prisoner won't help you..." I led. We both needed her to be the one to say it out loud. Anea took another deep breath.
"Yes, that's right. I would have no good reason to do so," She finished the thought, sending a rush of relief sweeping through me. She finally understands! "I'm still not sure what allows you to see Veiled creatures, but I also have no idea how to find an answer. But I don't need that answer to know you aren't a threat, despite what you know and what you've seen. You won't reveal us to the rest of humanity."
She said that with certainty I didn't completely share. True, I could think of a lot of harm that could come from sharing the secrets I had learned, especially for me personally. But on a fundamental level, I also hated the thought of never sharing the knowledge I'd gained. So many people spent so much time and effort trying to understand the world we lived in, and they would never succeed because they were literally blind to a huge part of the picture. I could open their eyes, if only I could get them to believe me, and if only human nature wouldn't lead people to view these hidden, unknown beings as a dire threat. Humanity had already driven them to the brink of extinction once, and as uncomfortable as silence would be, I could not be the one to put them in jeopardy again.
"Ten days," Anea suddenly stated, breaking my train of thought. "I think ten days will give us enough time to be sure you shouldn't flame accidentally. Then you will have to decide whether you stay and help me or return to your own people."
"What do you mean 'decide?'" I asked. "If you're going to let me go in ten days, then I've already made my choice: I'm going back." Anea winced and took another steadying breath before responding.
"You do mean you'll ask me to carry you to the outskirts of a human town, do you not?" she asked. "You said I need to take you and your priorities seriously, and I've come to agree with you. It will not be easy for me, even if I think it is the right thing to do. You've shown you can survive walking out of my territory. You can leave on your own; easing your journey back to your people would be a favor. If you want me to extend that favor, you should take me seriously and really listen while I try to persuade you to stay." I felt my face growing warm as Anea spoke, and I realized how flippant my words had been.
"Alright," I conceded. My head was still spinning from shock over the idea that Anea was prepared to surrender her control over me. All of it. "Alright. Yes, that makes sense. The least I can do is let you make your case. But I have to warn you, I don't think you'll be able to convince me to drop everything and stay here with you. Especially without knowing what I'll be helping you with."
"You haven't seen me being persuasive yet," she commented. "As for what you'd be helping me with, as soon as you agree to stay regardless of what I'll ask you to do, I will be able to tell you." I scowled.
"'Regardless of what you ask,'" I repeated, crossing my arms. "Anea that is not a good thing to say to anyone, especially a military member."
"Fair enough," she conceded. "I have to be careful what I tell you because I don't want you guessing. I promise it won't hurt. Or..." she paused, then corrected sheepishly. "You might get a little hurt, but it won't be anything I can't fix." I shook my head.
"That's not what I meant, Anea. I can't agree to help you do anything that would hurt my people or impede their interests. If you're expecting me to-"
"Oh!" she interrupted, catching on to my concern. "Don't worry about anything like that! This has nothing to do with humans or humanity in any way. You will be the only human who will ever be affected by this. I swear it."
"So you say," I countered. Anea stared me down, so I continued. "You seem to know when I'm lying, but I can't be sure of the same when you tell me things. And even if you believe what you say, I might have a different assessment. Until I know what you want me to do, I'll have to consider the potential harm I could do to my people. You could help me ease that fear, but..." I trailed off.
"I can't." She sighed. "And I'm realizing that if you can't believe you wouldn't harm other humans by helping me, you probably don't really believe I'll let you go if you decide to leave, do you?" Anea's observation called forth the doubts that had begun to play at the edges of my mind.
"I want to believe you Anea. I really do. After seeing the lengths you went to so you could take that choice away from me, I can't help but wonder if you're just telling me what I want to hear. Or maybe you'll change your mind again if the time comes and I give you an answer you don't want. I won't really believe you'll let me go until I'm actually with other people, other humans again." Anea growled under her breath, frustrated.
"I do mean what I'm saying," she complained. "This would be so much easier if you could just sense that. How do humans ever trust each other if you can't be sure whether to believe what someone says to you?"
"We watch what people do. A person can say whatever they like; it's their actions that show you what they really want. You've shown that you really want me to stay with you, and you have all the power here. I'm going to be skeptical until you follow through on your promise." Anea snorted, dissatisfied.
"And we both know that is the last thing I want to do," she grumbled. "Well, that doesn't matter for now. It doesn't change my first offers." Despite myself, that piqued my interest. She's going to be offering me things in exchange for my help? So... bribery. Fantastic. "Before you get too excited, this is something I would only offer if you agreed to stay with me for the next fifty summers-"
"FIFTY YEARS?!!" I demanded, outraged. "WHAT IN-"
"At least," she cut me off, leaving me sputtering in incoherent disbelief. She continued over me. "At least fifty summers. I knew you wouldn't like that, but I also believe you'll give it a second thought since that is the price of agelessness." Ageless- as the magnitude of her offer registered, I was stunned into unthinking silence. Anea's brow lifted in her subtle smirk. "Exactly. I also believe that since you have synthesis nodes now, you might find it easier to wield magic. A few decades would be enough time to investigate that possibility together as well." I felt numb, like I barely even had a body. Anea was offering me an effectively immortal life if I helped her. Help her for at least fifty years, that is. That would mean leaving my life, my family, and my friends behind. It could mean living for centuries. It would mean outliving everyone I knew and loved.
"You've got to be joking," I eventually muttered, hoping against hope I was right. It would be so much easier for this to be impossible, for it to not be a choice I had to make. Anea shook her head.
"I am not joking. I know how to do it right now. Dragons do not hatch ageless, that is something we weave into our bodies with Alteration. It won't be so different to do the same to you, but it will take time. There are many subtle, interconnected Alterations to make to every part of your body. It isn't something to rush. And it isn't something I will offer unless you intend to stay with me for a very long time." She didn't need to elaborate any further, as I was already torturing myself imagining what it would be like to stay in a twenty-five year old body while my entire generation aged and withered around me. It wasn't something I could even consider if I'd have to bear it alone. "I can see you need time to think about what I've already said before I tell you much more-"
"More?" I gasped. Jesus H. Christ, like immortality isn't enough to have to say no to.
"Of course," she grinned. "Maybe nothing quite as shocking, but I can think of plenty of things I could give you if you agree to help me. I can make you stronger, or I can help you find wealth. Then there is knowledge and ways to gain knowledge no human knows of. Even knowledge about rival groups of humans. I don't particularly want to help one group of humans defeat another, but if that's the price that convinces you to help me then so be it. I think things like that would help ease whatever cost you face for being away from your people for a shorter time."
I shook my head, overwhelmed by all the potential prizes Anea was dangling in front of me. An hour ago, I'd have never believed I'd regret convincing Anea she had no right to keep me with her by force. That had been hopeless, but at least my task of escaping had been straightforward. I'd gotten what I wanted, but Anea was shifting tactics. Now, she'd make sure I continued to get what I wanted, so long as I paid her price. I could have the life I'd been fighting so hard to get back to, or perform some unknown task for her and gain almost anything I could imagine as a reward.
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
The next week slipped by distressingly fast. Anea's ten day deadline approached faster than either of us wanted. On my part, while I had made considerable progress in controlling my fire lung, I still wasn't a hundred percent sure of what I was doing, and my window to practice freely with the ability was closing. Anea was unhappy because she had yet to convince me to stay with her. Although she'd never been able to top the twin offer of an effectively immortal life and tutelage in magic, she had come up with a number of very tempting offers. For example, she'd claimed to know the final resting place of an old shipment of Canadian silver that had been lost about a century ago, and she continued to drop hints of various other treasures that could make me fantastically wealthy. The problem always came down to the length of time she needed me for. I'd eventually wrung a minimum commitment out of her, and it wasn't good. Mid-spring. Not acceptable. I was already stretching believability with how long I'd been out here. I couldn't think of any story that would ring with an ounce of credulity to explain how I'd survived all winter in these mountains but been unable to find my way out.
Anea was no help there. Despite myself, I had asked if she could help me come up with some believable explanation for delaying my return until after winter. She'd told me that was one thing she couldn't do. Dragons didn't practice complex deceptions as a rule. Their sensitivity to emotional subtext made lying a pointless exercise, so dragons never got any practice at crafting believable lies. I couldn't think of any other reason why she wouldn't jump on the opportunity my question had presented her, so I was forced to believe her. In the meantime, whenever Anea wasn't trying and failing to persuade or incentivize me to stay with her, we spent our time practicing with one thing or another.
Our shared priority was teaching me how to control my fire breath. Anea's training was fast-paced and challenging by necessity. While I was quick to master the basics of releasing my venom at will and controlling the duration of a gout of flame, I had more trouble learning control over the fire lung itself. Tightening it hadn't yet moved past a literal exercise in frustration, and I'd made very little progress in un-priming the organ once it had clenched up. Oh, I managed it a few times, but each success took me over an hour of concentrated breathing exercises and meditation. Relaxing the taut muscles within my chest was kind of like trying to unclench a Charlie horse, except it wasn't possible to physically stretch the tension out. I could always just give in and flame, which was what young dragons did most of the time for the first decade after their fire lungs awoke. That would be impractical in the human world, to say the least. Thus, I needed to learn to relax my fire lung and to keep myself from flaming even when it was primed.
To that end, many of Anea's 'lessons' had been focused on just teaching me to resist the urge to release my venom. She took to that aspect of my training with fiendish enthusiasm because it gave her a legitimate reason to play tricks on me. And of course, my first hint of her methods came when she dive-bombed me out of nowhere in the middle of a jog I'd taken on my freshly healed ankle. It was exactly like the first time she'd 'hunted' me in the clearing when I'd still been using crutches, only with way more fire. After we put out the grassfire I'd set in my surprise, she'd explained her actions and declared that if I could keep a dragon from startling me into flaming, I should never have to worry about accidentally setting fires again. I didn't like having to always be on guard for Anea's next prank, but once I stopped spitting burning venom even when she'd just scared me half to death, I could no longer deny that it was effective training. I also thought she deserved to get a little payback for what I was putting her through with our other main endeavor.
We were also working to figure out how I could safely ride on Anea's back without any kind of harness. She was absolutely right that this was an inherently risky proposition. But I soon discovered she had a baser reason to be so resistant to the whole idea of me riding her. She simply didn't want me on her back. It turned out, dragons had a powerful instinctive urge to protect their backs. This came from the way they fought each other. Dueling dragons always tried to attack from above and scorch wings or sink claws and teeth into the spine. Me climbing, moving, and gripping on top of her poked those primal fears and wreaked havoc on her nerves. If she didn't trust me or feel so bad about almost crushing me during her botched landing, she assured me she'd never have agreed to it. Still, the one place I thought was most suitable for me was also the spot she found completely intolerable.
I wanted to sit at the base of the Anea's neck because it was about as thick as a big horse's body where it met her shoulders, which meant I could use my legs to hold on there. The spikes on her neck were also fairly blunt compared to the ones further down her back, another definite plus. But the dragon couldn't stand me gripping her with my legs at that spot! She had to hold herself rigid, splayed talons sinking deep into the ground to keep from shaking or clawing me off. A second attempt wasn't any easier for Anea, and I gave up before trying a third time.
Instead, the spot we settled on was directly in front of her wing shoulders and right behind her foreleg shoulders. Anea didn't like me there either, but she could put up with it as long as I didn't touch her wings too much. I hated that spot because of the sharp, five-inch spine set between the shoulders in front of me. I'd seen it twitching while we practiced, and although Anea had so far managed to keep it from raising up when I was on her back, I kept having visions of her knocking me around and accidentally goring me in the stomach. Combine that with the fact that the best way for me to hold on from there was to lock my knees under Anea's wings while leaning forward to wrap my arms around her neck, and neither of us felt up to flying together.
I spent the rest of my time learning about and getting used to the other effects of Anea's unintended Alterations. I now healed faster than a normal human even without Anea's help, and I needed much less food. So much less in fact, that I could easily subsist off the meager amount of edible plants I found foraging near Anea's cave each day. She now only brought me meat when she went to hunt for herself every three or four days. According to Anea, my body didn't need food for energy anymore. Instead, I just needed to eat for nutrients and to provide the synthesis nodes in my spine with the substances they needed to create venom. Kind of like how a plant takes in nutrients and water from the ground but gets most of its energy from the sun. However it worked, I hadn't noticed any negative impacts to my athletic abilities despite my body essentially switching its fuel source. Quite the contrary; my physical prowess had skyrocketed! I didn't think I was any faster or stronger than I used to be, but I now had a ridiculous level of endurance. It took way more exertion for me to feel tired, whether that meant bodyweight exercises, sprints, or long distance running. And that was after laying around in the dirt for weeks with no exercise. I'd begun to wonder if it would be too conspicuous to start competing in and dominating marathons and other races a few years from now. If only things were that easy.
Privately, I was getting more and more worried as day ten inexorably approached. I had not made enough progress with my fire lung to feel safe around other people. I wasn't worried about burning myself anymore; on my request, Anea had modified my sweat glands to produce the same compound that allowed our saliva to snuff out dragon venom. I was safe, but other people around me might not be if I ever lost my cool and flamed in public. I also felt more and more guilty as I watched Anea grow ever more dejected with each passing day. Most likely, I hoped, she was losing hope that she'd be able to convince me to stay and help her. I longed to believe that, but there were persistent doubts in the back of my mind whispering that she could also be upset she'd soon be forced to break her word and hold me out here against my will. I couldn't just take her at her word about her intentions for me, and the only ways I could see her regaining my trust would be to follow through and let me go or to show some trust in me and come clean. I didn't know if Anea was trustworthy, but I would find out in a few days. Then if all went well, I'd have to answer a new question that was beginning to keep me up at night:
How am I supposed to go back to a normal life after all of this?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Day eight wasn't the day to start resolving that dilemma though. It was supposed to be just another day with Anea. Third to last, but otherwise a normal day of learning how to not breathe fire. I woke up early that morning when I heard something moving sneakily nearby. The suspicious noise brought me right to full alertness! I sat bolt upright, tossed my covers aside, and reached for my knife before my eyes even opened. A quick glance around the cave didn't reveal any obvious threat. I was still where I'd gone to sleep, Anea was quietly staring into her fire, and there was no sign of any intruder. I wondered if I might have been dreaming and probably would have just gone back to sleep if Anea hadn't turned to face me. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry if I made too much noise."
"Uh," I mumbled, waving her concern away. "Maybe. Probably. It's not a big deal though." I considered lying back down, but then I realized my fire lung was tensed up. With a sigh of disgust, I rolled onto the cold stone of the cavern floor to finish rousing myself before standing up to get dressed.
"Are you sure you're sleeping soundly?" Anea asked as I stood. "If your nest isn't-"
"No!" I cut her off. She tilted her head skeptically, and I quickly added. "No. I'm serious. I don't want or need you to steal anything else for me." My flight vest wasn't doubling as a pillow anymore because of some things Anea had 'found' for me.
On top of all of her cajoling, arguing, and bribing to get me to stay with her, Anea had gone far out of her way to raid some poor hikers' campsite and return with several sleeping bags. I'd complained that she shouldn't have stolen them, but she'd completely refused to take them back. In fact, she'd doubled down by bringing me a fully stuffed hiking backpack the next day. She wanted to make living with her more comfortable for me. And as sorry as I felt for Jeremy Anderson (I hadn't found his wallet or ID's thank god; his name was on a tag in the pack), the first night I'd relented and slept on those sleeping bags had earned my best sleep in weeks.
This thought brought a wave of apprehension as I reached for a pair of slightly-too-large cargo pants that didn't really belong to me. On top of saving my life, everything else she'd done for me, and all she was offering, in the meantime she was also proving she could help me tend to all my needs, including clothing. She hadn't managed to convince me that I should stay with her, but she had proved that it was something I could do. It wasn't some wild fantasy that would break down when faced with reality. It was a real choice I could make. I'm coming to a crossroads. I'm gonna have big regrets either way, aren't I...
"What are you doing up so early anyway?" I asked.
"Thinking," she sighed. "We only have two days left, and you still want to leave. I think I finally understand the problem I'm facing. It's your damned sense of honor. No matter what I offer you, if you have to tarnish your honor to get it, you'll say no." I sighed, shaking my head. Anea had never and likely would never understand what honor actually meant to me.
"Sort of," I clarified, reaching for my boots next. "None of your offers have changed the fact that going back is still the right thing for me to do. All you've done is make that a harder choice for me to make." Anea shrugged her wings.
"That was the point. But now I see that you were always going to make it, as long as you still thought it was right. You seem to have control over your greed, which is both admirable and very frustrating. I might have one more idea, but I need more time to think it through first." I sat back down with a sigh and stared at the rough ceiling.
"And what happens when that doesn't work?" I asked, dejected. "I'm not trying to be dismissive, but I still don't see what you could possibly offer me that could top immortality. I've already turned that down several times." Anea snorted with a mix of disgust and bemusement.
"You don't have to remind me. All I can say for now is that it would be less of an offer, more of an appeal to your sympathies. And it is not something I'll resort to today. How are you doing with relaxing your fire lung?" The change of subject caught me off guard, then I scowled as I realized the tension under my sternum had sharpened while Anea and I were talking. This was exactly why I was supposed to use those breathing exercises whenever my fire lung tensed up on its own.
"I wasn't trying. You distracted me, and it's not really bothering me that much." As I spoke, I sat up straight, crossed my legs, and began taking moderately quick yet even breaths while focusing on the tension in my chest. "How did you know?"
"I guessed. I could sense your nervousness when you woke up and thought that had probably been enough to prime you. Remember, it is unwise to ignore your fire lung, especially if it's primed and you don't need it to be. You are much more likely to flame without meaning to when you feel that knot in your chest." My lips tightened a little, the only bit of my amusement I allowed myself to express through my concentration. That particular lesson had been thoroughly beaten into me by then. "I think I'll hunt early today. I need to stretch my wings out." I nodded so I wouldn't break the rhythm of my breathing again, then closed my eyes to focus. Anea didn't say anything else and soon left so she wouldn't distract me.
The trickiest part of this was getting my emotions to calm down and remain tranquil long enough for my fire lung to be able to respond to my will instead. Anea said my fire lung's sensitivity to my feelings was completely in line with what she'd gone through when she was young. She also swore that with time and practice, I'd get much better at controlling the organ. Time is something I'm running out of, though. Dread and frustration filled me at the thought. Gaaahh!! Useless! Ok. Counting time. 1. 2...
Eventually, with enough patience and concentration, I loosened the knot beside my heart until it disappeared completely. I checked my watch. "Hmm..." I grunted, flicking the blank digital face. Broken. When did that happen? Well, that didn't feel any longer than last time. I sighed and shook my head, then stood up to stretch.
The most frustrating part of my abnormality was that it would only take a single decent shock or a moderately negative shift in my mood to prime the organ again. This was one way staying with Anea would be easier than returning; I wouldn't have to worry about trying to conceal my ability and could take the time to master it at a more realistic pace. Instead, I'd have to keep practicing in secret and without any further guidance or help from anyone. The prospect was acutely daunting. It was almost enough to make me want to give in to Anea all on its own. Honestly, at this point the main reason I was so dead-set to leave was my growing certainty that if I didn't get away from Anea soon, I'd stop wanting to. And not because of any sorcerous tricks on her part. Despite all she'd put me through and all the reasons I had not to trust her, I still liked her and being with her. I hated the thought of never seeing her again just a little more with each passing day.
"Stop it," I said out loud. Those kinds of thoughts weren't just unhelpful; they were dangerous. I needed to break out of the funk I was slipping into and running had always helped me to clear my head. I'll go on a jog. Nothing fancy, just north in the shade along the edge of the clearing until I get- A sharp crack echoed through the cave.
My eyes snapped up, and I looked around for the source of the noise. No good. It hadn't originated in this central chamber. After a moment's consideration, I thought it might have been a rock falling onto the floor of the cave in one of the connecting passages. The theory reminded me of where I was and all the many thousands of tons of stone were hanging over my head, but I tried to shake off the apprehension. It had rained not long ago, maybe that loosened something. Come on, what are the odds of a cave-in now, when Anea's been living here for years? I decided to refill my canteen before heading out.
As I crouched by the pool, I felt the first set of tremors through the soles of my boots. Any doubts I might have had were banished by the visible ripples in the water! An icy chill of dread raced up my spine. "Oh shit..." I hissed, leaping to my feet and racing to my gear! Knife! Cloak! Vest! GO!! Since I'd figured out how to tie the sylvan cloak into a bundle on the back of my flight vest, and I always kept my knife in its attached sheath when I wasn't using it, it only took me about two seconds to snatch those items off the floor and turn to dash out the exit.
The delay still almost killed me.
A few feet from the passage leading outside, the ground dropped away from my leading foot, then slammed up to send me careening into the wall! Explosive cracks resonated through the cave as hairline fractures appeared in the wall before my stunned eyes.
"MOVE!!" I shouted, willing myself back into action. "GET OUT!!" I slid along the wall, using it to stay upright despite the rocking floor. Right before I ducked into the passage, the wall and floor bucked again, sending me sprawling onto my back!
As I rolled over to start crawling, another crack, louder than any other so far, blasted through the air! I winced and couldn't help watching in complete terror as a section of the rapidly splitting ceiling dislodged and fell in slow motion straight down into the smoldering fire below! Glowing embers streaked away in all directions, several striking me in the face as I continued to flee. The stink of burning hair mingled with the dry dust filling the air as I finally, finally reached the passage that led outside and hauled myself to my feet.
Leaning on the wall again, blind from the dark and the tears flooding my eyes as the floating grit stung them, I stumbled, bumped, and slid through the shuddering black for an eternity. At any moment, I expected to feel a flash of pain and the cold embrace of death when the crumbling rock overhead gave in and instantly crushed me. Then unbelievably, I saw light ahead!
I flung myself out of the tunnel mere seconds before it collapsed with a crack and roar that left me half-deaf. The ground tossed and shook like a stormy sea! There was no way I could stand or even crawl, so I scrambled on my stomach away from the cliff until I reached the center of the clearing. A glance up at the tossing branches told me going further wouldn't make me any safer. At that realization, I abruptly released the iron grip I'd been holding over my thoughts and allowed my absolute panic and terror to take over and curl me into a quivering ball on the ground.
Eyes squeezed shut, ears covered, all I could do was wait for the quake to either end or shake the world apart. Some time later, though it really couldn't have been more than a minute or two, the tremors ceased all at once. Once I realized that the only things vibrating were my own trembling muscles and that the roaring blaring through the forest was just my ears ringing, I slowly uncurled myself and looked back at the cave entrance.
"Mary, mother of God," I sighed. There was nothing but a pile of rubble where the tunnel I'd escaped from had been mere minutes before. The cave was gone. I felt dizzy with relief and shock at cheating death once again. "That does it, someone up there has it in for me." The cave was gone. This was going to be a problem.
I realized with a muted jolt that I was still clutching the vest I'd grabbed just before fleeing the collapsing cavern. I still had a few tools. I wouldn't have to start from scratch or depend only on Anea to survive. Ok, not nearly as bad as it could have been but... Mother damn... I forced my shaking hands to release their death grip on the gear I'd saved and tried to decide whether to attempt standing up. Just then, over the deafening ringing I heard a piercing shriek from overhead. I glanced up to see Anea hurtling straight towards the cliff!
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" She roared. She landed running flat out and dashed to the buried entrance, not even pausing to fold her wings. Completely panicked, she started digging out the tunnel, easily shoving enormous boulders aside and sending pawfuls of dirt and rocks flying away behind her! What's gotten into her?! I watched in slack-jawed astonishment as she got several feet into the rubble before the loose rocks collapsed in on the divot she'd made. She retreated as the rubble resettled and stood rigid, wings still half raised, and her eyes began to glow.
She reared up on her hind legs for a moment, then crashed back to the ground with a ferocious snarl and a blinding flash of golden light! The ground shook again, and my stomach began doing nauseous flips. I felt like I was falling, even though I was just laying there on the ground! I didn't have a clue what but something was wrong!! Exactly what she'd done became clear when Anea attacked the debris blocking her tunnel again, only this time she was throwing boulders aside as if they weighed less than the rocks from last time. Throwing massive boulders everywhere. Does she even know I'm here?
A rock as big as me sailed right over my head. "HOLY-" I sprang to my feet to dash to the cover of the tree line, only to helplessly float up about seven feet off the ground before drifting back down! I hurled right before landing, not able to deal with queasiness on top of everything else. I gave up on getting upright and crawled away on all fours once more until my weight seemed right again. I darted to the tree line and dove behind the thickest trunk in sight.
I took a few deep breaths and spat out most of the bile clinging inside my mouth, listening to the sounds of Anea's grunting and rocks crashing through the foliage all around me. When I calmed down enough, I peeked around the tree to check on her progress. My jaw dropped again at the sight that greeted me. She had already made it about forty feet into the cave and showed zero signs of slowing! I shook my head.
"Dragons," I muttered as a curse. Boulders continued to sail away from her in lazy arcs. I watched a few until they reached the edge of whatever crazy gravity-weakening spell she'd cast and abruptly plummeted into the dirt. By then, the spell's edge was pretty clearly defined just from where all the debris was landing. Without doubt, the most powerful being on Earth. Then another series of titanic cracks split the air! My gut dropped. Still not powerful enough!
"Anea! Look out! Get out of there!" I shouted as the entire cliff face began collapsing in on the part Anea had just dug out. I uselessly gritted my teeth in fear for the dragon as rocks started falling on her, but she managed to get clear before she was buried.
She stared at the place where the tunnel entrance had been for a moment, then snarled a desperate, "NO!" Her eyes closed, and she raised her head to the sky and let out a long, keening wail of a roar. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" The force of her sorrow hit me like a tidal wave, and I had to blink away a sudden surge of tears. Anea continued to howl as she collapsed to the ground, sobbing in utter despair. I had no idea what comfort I could offer in the face of such devastating grief, but I had to try. She didn't have anyone else. I stepped out from under the trees, weaved through the scattered boulders, and gingerly approached the weeping dragon.
When I got close, I asked as gently as I could, "Anea, what's wrong?" She whipped her head around before I could continue and pounced on me, driving and pinning me to the ground!
I coughed as the air was squeezed from my lungs by the weight of the paw on my chest and looked up to see an absolutely furious dragon staring back! "What's wrong?! WHAT'S WRONG?!!!" She snarled in my face, baring her teeth and snapping her jaws inches from my nose. "What do you think is wrong?!" She glanced back at the cave and her entire aggressive demeanor vanished.
She removed the paw that was pinning me, which allowed me to breathe again, and instead wrapped her talons around me and drew me to her side as she settled back to the ground. She then buried her snout in my chest, closed her eyes again, and began nuzzling me, making pitiful little growls and yips the whole time.
"They're gone," she whimpered between sobs. "They're all dead. No, please... They can't be gone." I returned her embrace as much as I could, wrapping an arm under her muzzle, running the other hand up and down her scales the way she liked, and resting my face against hers. It distantly occurred to me that this was the first time I'd shown her any physical affection since the day I ran away from her. All the complications that had come between us since then were gone. She needed me, and I was there for her, and it was right.
Eventually, her eyes opened again and slowly swiveled to meet mine. "Anea," I began softly, then my breath caught as something else registered. There were no tears in those golden orbs, despite how miserable she was. Maybe dragons couldn't shed tears when they cried. That made it seem even sadder somehow. I had to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat before I could continue. "What is going on? Who do you think is dead? Were there other dragons in there?"
She squeezed her eyes shut again. "In a way," she whispered. She drew in a deep, shaky breath. "My..." Her voice wavered as she tried to say whatever was on her tongue. "My..." She raised her head to the sky once more and wailed, "My eggs are in there!" She resumed sobbing, pressing me to her side more tightly and nuzzling my chest more fiercely than ever. Meanwhile, my mind snapped back into overdrive!
EGGS?! In that cave?! Where could they have been this whole time? Of course... Epiphany struck me like a hammer blow as soon as I posed the silent question. Her fire. Everything Anea had ever said about it or done around it, all of her warnings, all the dodged or deflected questions, they all added up to one simple explanation. Her eggs have been in or under that fire pit from the beginning! She must have kept them secret to protect them from me. I remembered that first boulder that landed in those embers, and a gaping hole opened up in my gut. I'd left helpless kids behind to die while I fled to save my own skin! Oh God... No! I don't know where the eggs were or how deep they might have been buried. If that cavern is intact, they could still be alright! I've got to get back in there, find out for sure, and save whichever ones are still alive!
I started struggling to escape Anea's embrace. "Let me go, you great stupid lizard! Why are you just sitting here, crying?!" The dragon just tightened her grip a little, holding me in place.
"There's nothing I can do," she muttered without opening her eyes. "I can't get to them. If they aren't already crushed, I'll bring the mountain down on them if I keep digging to get to them. I can't save them." She's given up. I sighed and glowered at her in exasperation. Then I raised my hand, sighed again, and slapped it as hard as I could against her sensitive snout. She whined at the strike and retracted her head, looking at me with a hurt expression. Tough.
"Let me go, Heyshaan-Aneaserrah. Stop crying, let me go, and let's get your eggs out of there!" Anea did loosen her grip, but from her expression, that was probably more out of shock than agreement. Go figure. Slack-jawed amazement applies to dragons too. I scrambled up and out of her reach before she could decide she'd rather lay there and cry with me instead. "Come on, snap out of it! We're wasting time!"
"I already told you," she said, some bewildered confusion laced in with her misery, "There's nothing I can do."
"I said WE, not you," I took a breath to calm down a little. The thought of innocent lives in danger nearby had me amped way up, but I couldn't do much on my own. I needed Anea's help if I was going to have a chance of saving them. "I'm much smaller than you. I can get back in with a smaller opening. But I need your help to find or make one. So quit crying, get off your ass, and help me save your kids!"
"You..." she began, sounding more confused by the second. "You want to go back in there? But the mountain is weak and could come crumbling down any second-"
"I know good and damn well how risky this is! Now are you going to help, or am I doing it alone?" Without waiting for an answer, I turned away to grab my gear, then marched right past the stunned dragon back to the collapsed cave entrance. I pulled the vest on over my jacket while I looked through the pile of rubble for any sign of some narrow opening still remaining. Eventually, I heard Anea stand up and walk over. "Finally..." I muttered.
"I heard that," Anea admonished as she reached me.
"You were supposed to." I shot back. I saw nothing helpful in the huge pile of rocks before me and had little desire to get any closer after seeing the stack collapse twice. Maybe it would be possible to dig out a tunnel big enough for me to squeeze through, but it would take equipment and expertise we didn't have. Anea couldn't get through here, and she wouldn't be able to make a deep enough opening for me. There's got to be another way in... Oh shit, there might be.
"See?" Anea asked just before I could voice my idea. I turned to find her staring with despair at the rockslide blocking us. "There's no way we can get through, even working together. The tunnel is gone."
"You're right, we can't get through here," I admitted. Then before Anea could give in to helplessness again, I added. "We need to check your skylight. If it's still there, I might be able to squeeze down through it and see if there's anything left."
"Stars!" she gasped. "That... That might actually work." She stood up a bit straighter and stared at me for a moment with a whole new look in her eyes. I didn't care what she was thinking; I stepped directly to her left foreleg and reached up to start climbing. Anea flinched away just before I got a good grip, sending me stumbling backward. "What are you-"
"Getting on your back. This is no time to be timid. I'm positive you won't be able to land near your skylight if you try to carry me in your claws again." The dragon rumbled uncomfortably, but laid down without further complaint to make it easier for me to climb on.
I double-checked that her spines were lowered, then vaulted up her left elbow and hauled myself into place just in front of her wings. I planted hands on the wide shoulders in front of me to brace as she stood and backed away from the cliff. My stomach was already doing nervous cartwheels at that, then it dropped away altogether when the vast wings on either side of me rushed open. God, she's too wide! Can't get a good grip. Terrible idea! Terrible. I swallowed my fears, then laid down across her shoulders, wrapped my arms around the base of her neck as far as they'd reach, and held my legs up against the underside of the heavily muscled wing arms.
The dragon hesitated again, stating, "Adrian, I don't think this is a good idea." Neither do I.
"Do we have another one?" I countered. "Let's go."
Anea sighed again. "Fine. Please, please don't fall off." Then she crouched, and I had just enough time to send a wordless plea for help to whatever god might be listening before the dragon surged up beneath me and rocketed into the sky.
It was hellish. There was no time to enjoy flying this time! I had to focus entirely on staying latched on. Wind tore at me, inertia yanked me this way and that, and Anea constantly flexed and twisted like she was trying to toss me off. Her beating wings kept knocking my legs around, although having something to brace against above them did allow me to keep from floating off my perch on each up-stroke. The non-stop movement conspired with the wind to gradually drag me backward despite my best efforts to hold myself in place by my grip on her neck. I couldn't pull myself back into place because that damned spine I was laying on had snagged my clothes when I tried. The only good thing about the experience was that it didn't last long. Only a minute or two after taking off, the wind roaring in my ears began to quiet down. Anea was slowing down!
A quick glance below us revealed a small gap in the thick scrub clinging to what was left of the mountain slope. The crack was only about thirty feet beyond the new edge of the collapsed cliff-face, and it looked extremely small from up here. God I hate being right. Seconds later, Anea came to a hovering stop right over the gap. Just before losing lift, she snapped her wings closed in a split second. That pinned my legs to her sides quite effectively as the dragon plummeted to the ground, dragging me down with her. Her touchdown was far less rough than I'd expected as the many bushes she flattened cushioned the impact her legs had to absorb. I had to wait a moment for her to trample down enough of the tough, ten to fifteen foot-tall plants to move around in before there was room for me to dismount.
I slid off her back and flopped to the ground as she relaxed her wings. I patted my stomach a couple of times to make sure I hadn't been skewered, muttering, "Damned if that wasn't the hairiest flying I've ever done."
"Told you," Anea groused half-heartedly, staring at her paws. "You barely held on."
"Better than almost holding on," I retorted, shaking off my jitters and noting with a flash of irritation that my fire lung was clenched up tight again. When the hell did that happen? "Where's our crevice?"
"Over here." She raised a paw to reveal that she was straddling a bare patch of exposed rock with a large crack running down the middle of it. Thankfully, it was much wider than it had appeared from the air.
"Ok. Let's see what we have to work with." I took a step towards the dragon. She glanced down at the crevice again, then crouched low over it and bared her teeth at me!
"No! That's it, no!" she snarled. I flinched away on instinct, even though I knew her well enough by then to recognize she wasn't really angry. She was putting on a show for some reason. "This is crazy. Absolutely insane! Adrian, you can stop already! You don't owe me this! I'll-" Her lips closed and she continued miserably, "I'll take you back to your people, alright?" She reached for me with an open paw, and I was so outraged I hardly noticed the short jet of flame I sent at her as I dodged backward before she could grab me.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I demanded. "You think I'm doing this for me?! Like I give the slightest damn about going home right now?!!" Oh, I was livid! "If you aren't going to help then get the fuck out of my way!!" I sucked in a breath and shot another stream of liquid fire straight at Anea's face!
"ADRIAN!! STOP!!!" My jaw snapped shut and my entire body went rigid. Gold flickered in the edges of my vision as Anea worked to put out her venom soaked muzzle and paw. After a few seconds, I wrenched myself free of the paralyzing order with an agonized snarl and glared at Anea.
"Move. Out. Of my way." I stated, now far beyond rage. I caught her eye, and she did a double take at the look in mine.
"Oh no..." she whispered. "Adrian, I'm so sorr-"
"Move," I said again. "You want to know why I'm doing this Anea? It's not complicated. Going down there is a huge risk, it's stupid, but it's the right goddamned thing to do, and there's no one else here to do it. It's me or no one."
"You'll get yourself killed," she keened, crouching lower than ever. "I can't lose you too."
"Are they already dead?" I asked. Anea looked away from me. "Do you know they're already dead?"
"No. I don't know," she whined.
"You don't know. I'm going to go find out. How many eggs are there?"
"Three! There are three, alright!" she snapped, finding her fire again. "And even if you save all three today, they're still as good as dead!" She glared at me. "You! I was finally ready to do what needed to be done before you dropped into my life! You just had to give me hope!" She growled again, shaking her head back and forth. "No! I'm finally making the hard decision. They've been dead since the moment Serraal left! I won't let you die for my weakness!" I gaped at her, stunned that she could say such a thing after being reduced to a weeping wreck when she thought there was no hope of saving the eggs. I was also beginning to see what she needed me so desperately for. There was no time for that now.
"We don't know they're dead, Anea. They could be down there right now, and they need our help. Are you really going to stop me from trying to save your kids?" She squeezed her eyes shut and released another long keening groan.
"Swear to me you're coming back," she pleaded. "Swear on your people, your family, you are not going to die today."
"I'll be right back, Anea. I'm gonna get your eggs out of that hole."
"Ancestors forgive me." And she finally stepped off the crevice and let me approach. "How do you want to do this?" I got on hands and knees to peer down the crack into the cave.
The soot staining the edges of the drop and the wisps of smoke stinging my eyes left no doubt we were in the right spot. It got dark fast, and I couldn't really be sure how narrow it got. I did spot a few glowing red specks far below that could only be the scattered embers of Anea's fire. So the cave was still at least partly intact. It was also a long way down. Damn it all, this is why I need rope!! Then again, I'd need climbing rope, not just paracord... Fuck! Paracord! Parachute! At last the thought that had been tickling me every time I bemoaned my lack of proper rope manifested. I shook my head furiously, shelving the memory for later. Rope would be great, but I didn't have any so it was out.
"I need to see how far the drop is," I stated. "Can you light it up?" I could just light something on fire and toss it in, but one of Anea's werelights would be better. She nodded and soon, a ball of brilliant white light hovered just under the lip of the crevice. It floated down slowly, illuminating the narrowing gap as it descended. It looked like it would be a tight fit for me at the bottom. Once the light was all the way through the crack, I directed Anea to float in out of direct line of sight so we could see past it to the cavern floor. And we finally got a little good news. From what I could see, the cavern seemed mostly intact, and one section of the ceiling that had collapsed had built up a pile of rubble under the skylight. It wouldn't be a twenty foot drop like I'd been fearing. The light sputtered and died as Anea began to keen again. "Anea, it's alright. The cavern is still there. There's still a chance."
"There are boulders everywhere. They could already be smashed. I should have been there! Damn it, why wasn't I there for them?" I shook my head, impatient. I understood why she'd blame herself, but we did not have time for this right now. I stepped around the crack to rest a hand on her foreleg.
"You weren't there because you didn't know there was about to be an earthquake. That wasn't your fault. There's no way you could have known. But we're here for them now. Listen, I only see one way for me to get down there. I'll need to hang onto your tail while you lower me down."
I explained what I needed her to do, then we had to work out a few signals if the rock started blocking her from hearing me. Until then, Anea had never mentioned her telepathy could be blocked by enough solid mass. She also told me everything I needed to know to find her eggs and move them safely.
After that, she trudged off through the scrub until just the last few feet of her tail reached the crevice. I took off my vest and wrapped it in the sylvan cloak, then set it down near the edge. Wearing it during the descent would risk it snagging on something, so Anea was to kick it down to me if I made it down into the cave. Then I laid down, took hold of Anea's tail just above the folded fins, and carefully slid backward.
"Shit, shit, shit..." I muttered under my breath as first my legs, then waist passed the lip to dangle over open air. My grip on Anea's tail was all that kept me from falling. "Alright. Back up slowly." Anea stared over her shoulder at me, doubt written all over her face. But she did as I instructed after only a moment's hesitation. With a sickening lurch the dragon's tail seemed to give under my weight, and I slipped over the edge to begin my descent.
At the end where I was holding on, Anea's tail was around an inch and a half thick and the scales covering it conferred a texture which allowed me a very firm grip. That fact was all that saved me from my own impatience that day. Hanging off the end of a rope by nothing but your hands is a very stupid idea, something that became apparent as I was lowered down the narrowing crevice and my forearms rapidly grew sore from squeezing to hold up my weight. If Anea's tail had been any more slippery, or if my endurance hadn't already been enhanced to superhuman levels, I wouldn't have made it. I would have been forced to give up or risk losing my grip and falling all the way down into the cave, if I didn't get fatally wedged before then. As it was, I was just able to hold on as Anea slowly lowered me down the smooth, nearly vertical rock face.
There was plenty of light to see by now that I was inside the crack, which made it easy to keep track of my progress. There was also enough smoke that I started coughing before long. Around fifteen feet down, I noticed something that confirmed the barely foot wide crack had been much narrower a short time ago. The soot-stains from Anea's fire only extended a few feet to either side. After that, the bare rock was pristine, proving it hadn't been exposed to the smoke until quite recently.
I gulped as my feet bumped against both sides of the crevice, and I had to turn them sideways to continue down. Then, just before my growing claustrophobia got the better of me, the walls disappeared on either side of my feet. I was in! Sort of. I couldn't see past my own body to check how much further it was to the rubble pile I was aiming for, but I could see Anea's tail quickly thickening above. She wouldn't be able to reach much further down. This would be close.
Just as my head and arms cleared the bottom of the crack, the tail stopped extending. I heard some muted grunting echo down from above, then the tail lowered another few feet before stopping for good. I guessed that was Anea sitting down. I craned my neck to get a look at the cave below me and breathed a sigh of relief. The mountain of rubble extended all the way up to the ceiling nearby, and the slope was just a foot or two under my boots.
"So far, so good," I muttered. "I'm letting go," I called to warn Anea, then released my hold on her tail and dropped. I landed on a loose rock which slipped out from under me and sent me sliding painfully down the pile accompanied by a miniature avalanche of rolling stones. "Ow," I grunted as I came to a stop. I felt battered, but I hadn't broken anything. I squeezed and relaxed my fists a few times to work out some of the throbbing tension in my forearms, and Anea's muted voice drifted down to me.
"Adrian... you alright? Talk to... you let go? Please-"
"I'M ALRIGHT!!" I shouted, even as the cold grip of fear began squeezing my heart again. Anea telling me we might have trouble talking once I was in the cave was one thing. Experiencing the reality was something else entirely. I'd been quietly counting on having Anea use more of her magic to aid me if anything unexpected happened once I was down here. But if she couldn't hear me, she wouldn't know how I wanted her to use her powers! "I'm Ok! If you can hear me, I'm safe for now!" I stood and looked up to find the tip of her tail still dangling through the skylight, twitching nervously. Then, moving with care in the dim light, I clambered the rest of my way down the slope.
"Good... fast, please? I..." Her voice faded out as I reached the cavern floor, leaving me completely alone. I heaved a nervous sigh, and looked around, trying to orient myself with the ruined chamber. The fire pit and drinking pool were before me, and I stood more or less below the crack in the ceiling. Which meant... I turned around to stare at the rubble stretching from one end of the cave to the other.
"Holy shit," I breathed. That entire half of the cave had collapsed in the quake. All the gear I'd left behind when I'd escaped was buried. So were all the passages that had connected to this one. Anea had been right, there was no way she would have been able to dig through without causing another cave in. I wondered how even this much of the cave had survived intact, then turned back to focus on my task as my blood ran cold. This place can't possibly be stable. "What the hell am I doing down here?"
An excellent question.
"What- NO!!" I yelped as I found an all too familiar pitch-black silhouette standing in the center of the bed of embers, just in front of the boulder that had fallen during the quake. I'm dead! I'm fucking dead!! This time, I knew down to my soul that the specter appearing again right now could only mean I'd made a grave mistake, and the cavern was going to collapse any second! It had returned to claim me, just as it promised! Something impacted the pile of rubble behind me, and I looked up to try and see my end coming. But nothing happened.
Peace, defiant one. That fate has relented. New paths await us both.
Once again, its words felt like echoes of my own thoughts, as if the thing had no voice of its own. My heart hammering, fire lung cramped into another burning knot, I dragged my gaze back to the shadow. It's talking to me. Really talking. "Who are you?" I dared to ask. "What are you?"
One like you, once. My time came; I refused to move on. Trapped here. Lost self, almost. Found purpose. Must keep others from making same mistake. Did not cause death, merely eased the journey.
As it spoke, its outline seemed to lose what vague definition it had. It was becoming less distinct and gradually shrinking. Sensing my window to get answers was closing, I opened my mouth to start digging for specifics.
Not now. Time is short. Tell her of me, she knows my like. Answer yourself: why are you here?
The question snapped me out of my amazed trance. I looked behind me for my vest, now realizing it was what had fallen onto the rocks shortly before. "You're right, I have work to do. Are you going to get in my way?" I challenged as I retrieved my gear.
No one stands in your way now. Your efforts are noble but in vain. These young are fated to die.
"Everyone is!" I hissed. I needed to get to the eggs. They were supposed to be loosely clustered in the center of the fire, buried in the cinders beneath the hot coals. How could I dig them out without burning my hands?
They will die soon, unless you hold fate at bay again.
"Well then, that's why I'm here isn't it." My eyes fell on a branch from Anea's pile of firewood. That's it! I stepped over to the branch and quickly cut off any attached twigs that would hinder my grip. "You can clear off or I can go through you. I don't care which," I said, feigning bravado as I worked.
I go. Know your actions today are meaningless if you lack commitment. She will ask you once more. You will be free to choose. Trust your heart to know the right path, as more lives than you can know rest on you four.
"Four?!" I demanded, but the shadow, now little more than a speck of darkness, sank into the glowing red embers beneath and vanished. What the hell did it mean 'you four?' Trust my heart? More lives than I can know? "Shit," I swore, hating the specter all the more for dumping that on me while I needed to focus on my task. I had to get this done and climb out of this death trap as fast as possible. If an aftershock struck while I was still down here, odds were I was finished.
I finished stripping the branch of protruding twigs and leaves, then stood and approached the embers. I began to sweep them aside with the branch, scattering the hot coals to either side without care for where they landed as I cleared a path to the center of the fire pit. The smoke I kicked up stung my eyes and throat, and before long, the sweltering heat forced me to shed my flight vest and coat. On the plus side, the discomfort distracted me from the shadow's cryptic words, bringing me back from recalling and reflecting on all the impossible shit I'd been through in the past month. Once again able to focus, I reached the center of the bed of embers and slowed my excavation considerably.
Layer by layer, I cleared the coals in a two foot circle down to the ashes and cinders beneath, then I rushed back to the pile of twigs I'd left and brought back the bushiest one I could find. I tried to find a balance between going slow enough to avoid damaging the eggs and fast enough to not lose my improvised brush as the green leaves withered in the heat. I swept aside the glowing ashes, exposing the tops of first one, then two smooth ovoid objects. Where's the third?! I kept sweeping away at all the cinders I'd exposed until my twig finally caught fire and had to be tossed aside. Just as I turned to retrieve my stick to clear away more embers, I noticed that the two eggs I'd exposed were about as far from each other as either was from the boulder that had fallen into the fire.
"Oh god, no," I whispered in dread. If Anea had arranged her eggs in an equilateral triangle, then that boulder had fallen straight onto one of them! With shaking hands, I grabbed my stick and cleared away the embers around the rock, until the scent of burning meat gradually intermingled with the smoke and confirmed my fears. Still, I kept digging until I revealed a few fragments of shell, and an unbelievably tiny, blackened, miniature version of one of Anea's paws.
Tears flooded my eyes and a wave of dizzying grief made me lean on my stick for a moment. I allowed myself a further second of self-indulgent despair, then I roughly wiped my eyes with the back of a hand. Knowing there was no way I could afford to take the time to move the boulder and retrieve the body, I covered the paw with the surrounding ashes and bowed my head for a moment of reverent silence. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, but I will save you siblings.
I returned to the two surviving eggs and used my stick to scrape away the compacted ashes surrounding them. I lightly tapped one with a ring finger to confirm that they were indeed as hot as the fire they'd been buried in. I sucked on the singed finger, idly wondering how the tiny dragons inside could survive the blistering heat without being cooked, then focused on my final problem. How the hell was I going to carry these blazing things?
***** ***** ***** ***** *****
"HURRY UP!!" I shouted in desperation as the eggs against my chest and back began to burn me even through all the layers of fabric between them and my skin. Anea definitely heard me that time as the tail jerked in my hands and yanked me up the last dozen feet to the surface in just a few seconds. It was all I could do to hold on and try to keep the eggs from knocking into the rock on either side too much. Then the lip of the crevice scraped my hands off Anea's tail right before it was about to pull me clear!
My breath caught in my throat, and I just managed to wedge myself in place after dropping some short way back down. I screamed again as the egg slung across my back balanced there and continued to scald my flesh! Then a set of giant talons wrapped around my stomach, mercifully not trapping the other egg against my front, and hauled me up out of the crevice.
As soon as Anea released me, I yanked the smoking sylvan cloak I'd bundled around the eggs off my shoulders. I forced myself to set it gently on the ground rather than drop it or fling it into the distance as my pain drunk instincts goaded. Then I stripped off my coat, the vest I'd donned beneath, and my shirt to get a look at the damage.
There were searing blisters all over my arms where the eggs had rolled against them, but my vest had mostly protected me like I'd hoped. While the coat I'd worn looked like it might have melted in a few places, the burns on my torso were limited to large red welts with a few small blisters. I couldn't see the big one between my shoulders where one of the eggs had laid for several seconds, but from the tortuous flashes of scorching heat that flared from it every time I moved, it was the worst injury I'd suffered.
"You... You..." Anea stammered, at a loss for words. I glanced up at her through streaming eyes, then focused on trying to do something about my pain. I hated burns more than any other injury! They hurt intensely for hours, sometimes even days. They often got worse before letting up as if whatever had burned me in the first place was still pressed against my skin. Gritting my teeth against the agony every slight movement caused, I crouched down to dig through my discarded vest for the last of my Motrin pills. Please be enough... Since my canteen was one of the many items I'd lost to the cave-in, I choked down the pills without any water.
"Adrian?" Anea asked quietly, getting my attention. She had unraveled the ruined cloak and revealed the two iridescent white eggs within. "Why did you only bring two up? Where is my third egg?" Her voice was laced with misery and sorrow, but not a hint of accusation. She already knew why.
"I am so sorry Anea," I whispered. She stared at me, unresponsive with eyes as round as dinner plates. I swallowed and forced myself to say the words I'd been dreading. "Your third egg was crushed. I found the pieces. There wasn't anything anyone could do for it." The dragon's only reaction to my quiet statement was her gaze growing distant. She continued to stare straight through me for a long time while I sat still and tried to avoid disturbing my wounds. Then she blinked, and her eyes swiveled down to the two bright eggs resting between her paws. A shimmer rippled across her scales.
"Adrian... Thank you," She met my eyes again. "They all would have died without you. I couldn't have saved them, and I've realized that trying to stop you was a terrible mistake. These two are so close to hatching, they might have survived long enough to hatch down there, even all alone. Then the little ones would have lived just long enough to know darkness, hunger, and fear. That would have been even worse than them simply being crushed like the other. Whatever happens, you saved them from that. If my children hatch, they will know they're cherished and loved." There it is again.
"What do you mean if they hatch?" I asked. "What did you mean earlier when you said you'd do what had to be done? These are your kids, and it's crystal clear how much you care about them. Why do you keep talking like you're expecting them to die? Or even..." I hesitated, not wishing to accuse Anea of something so horrible, but I had to know. "Maybe even hurt them yourself?" Anea closed her eyes with a deep, mournful sigh.
"I wouldn't hurt them, Adrian. I'd never hurt them. But I know what you're asking." Her eyes opened to gaze at her eggs again. "It is a long story, and I need to build another incubation fire for these two before I take the time to tell it. Think on this for now. Nature is exceedingly cruel. It cares nothing for the suffering of individuals, only for keeping all life in balance. Predators that are too good at hunting soon find themselves with nothing left to eat. Plants that grow too thick can choke each other out and are more easily burned. Human aggression gained your people dominion over this world, but now you have no one to hate and fight besides each other. Dragons are more powerful than any other single creature that lives, but we have also existed long enough for nature to find ways of balancing other life against us."
With that, Anea abandoned the topic and asked if it would be alright if she left me where I was while she took the eggs to the clearing with the stream I'd visited a few times. I was in no condition to try and ride on her back again, and she couldn't safely carry me and the eggs at the same time. I assured her I'd be fine, and with a last apologetic glance, she took off, leaving me sitting on the mountain slope.
I stayed bare-chested because I couldn't stand putting any pressure on my injuries, and the breeze that had picked up helped cool the burns a bit. The crisis had passed, and as the panic and stress of everything I'd just been through drained away over the next few minutes, I was left physically and emotionally exhausted. It wasn't long before I started nodding off, even sitting upright. Visions of all my fears played through my foggy mind, even though I never fell completely asleep.
I saw myself, covered in patches of scales and with flames flickering in my nostrils, returning home to my family only for them to not recognize me and call me a monster before drawing red hot brands and pressing them into my back as they chased me off. Then I found myself looking out through the bars of a cage at a full court martial, where Faolin was testifying that he knew I'd lied about my time spent MIA and presenting X-Rays of his broken wrist as evidence. When his eyes met mine, I felt his thoughts again and heard drums and war-cries echoing in his ears. Then the ceiling rolled back, and I was soaring low over a devastated city-scape under a sky on fire. Through it all, the shadow followed, and from deep inside its dark, empty void, I could almost hear tiny voices crying for their parents in pain and fear. The disjointed dreams continued until Anea returned and roused me with her landing.
The flight was brief and exceptionally uncomfortable. Anea had to carry me in her claws again, and as much as she wanted to be gentle around my burns, she rightly prioritized keeping a firm grip. I still felt her wince at every involuntary groan I made on the short flight. When we landed, the first thing I did was drench the long sleeve shirt I'd taken off earlier in the icy stream water and drape it over my shoulders.
"Aaahh..." I sighed. That's better. Having finally found some relief, I turned my attention to the crackling fire I'd seen on our landing approach. Anea was just reaching into it to pull the second egg out of the flames and place it with the other on her open, upturned paw. "I thought you said they needed to be in the fire or they'd get too cold," I commented.
"I don't remember exactly what I said to you, but they need to be under the fire, not in it. They'll get too hot if they stay in open flames, and if I set them on the ground, they'll get too cold before long. I'll be taking them in and out of the fire until there are enough hot cinders to cover them."
"And..." I continued awkwardly, "They'll be alright with that?" Anea sighed and met my eyes.
"They'll have to be. There is nothing else I can do for them. None of this has gone the way it should have. And this certainly is not how I meant for you to find out." I nodded.
"You want me to help raise your hatchlings, don't you?" I asked. "That's why you're so desperate to keep me out here with you." The dragon held my gaze for a few moments, then glanced down at her eggs. She closed her paw around them before standing to approach me. She laid down close to where I sat and opened her paw again, holding the eggs right in front of me. They were white, about the same shape as and a little bigger than rugby balls, and they refracted light the same way the underside of Anea's scales did.
"What I want is for you to decide to stay with me. Dragon hatchlings must have two parents, two caretakers and no less. The moment these eggs hatch, every creature larger than a rabbit that catches the scent of young dragons will want nothing more than to find them and kill them. This is the only way mundane creatures can fight back against us. They have to kill us when we are small and weak, or they become powerless against us. Hatchlings must be protected at all times, but they also have to eat. I can't be in two places at once, Adrian. I had some hope that I might find a way to ensure these three-" Her voice caught and her wings quivered with a soft rustle before she continued.
"That I'd be able to keep them safe in my cave. I thought about blocking the entrance when I left to hunt and other such tricks. But there are so many things that could endanger little dragons! I'd never be able to plan for them all. And think of how terrifying that would be for them! Alone, with no one to help or comfort them for no reason they could understand for a long time every single day. And I don't know how long I would be able to keep finding them food if I had to hunt each and every day without ever getting to rest." She stopped again as she seemed to realize she was rambling. "Anyway, now I don't even have the cave, which puts these two in even more danger. They won't last the winter if I try to raise them alone." The lifeless resignation in her voice nearly broke my heart by itself. I swallowed, already feeling the decision forming as my toes and fingers went cold.
"What about their father?" I asked. "What happened to him?" The dragon's jaw clenched, and her round pupils narrowed back into slits.
"I do not know where he is," she stated frostily. "He didn't know I was with egg because I didn't know until far too late. Still," she added, her voice turning bitter, "One would think a drake so taken with a dragoness as to court her would return for a visit before that year's winter. Apparently not." I didn't know what to say to that, so we both sat in silence for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts. I found it very frustrating that Anea had been so determined to keep this a secret from me despite needing my help so badly she was apparently considering committing some kind of mercy killing on her own eggs if she couldn't get it. I also wondered if this really was the whole truth. If it's been this simple the whole time...
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I demanded. "I get why you didn't trust me in the beginning, but when you decided I was the one to help you, why didn't you explain all of this?" Anea stared at the ground.
"It was another mistake," she muttered, miserable and ashamed. She kept glancing at me but couldn't hold my gaze. "At first I was afraid you'd have the same bloodlust as other animals and humans in the past; that if you knew I had eggs, you would be compelled to dig them up and smash them. It didn't take long for you to convince me you wouldn't be ruled by your base instincts like that. But you were so determined to get back to your own people... I thought if you knew about my eggs, you might threaten them to make me release you. I didn't know if you would see them as children, or as a weakness you could use against me." My guts churned as I wondered if her fears might have been justified. If I knew about her eggs when I realized she was trying to brainwash me... A tight cramp seized under my chest at the thought and my sympathies chilled for the moment.
"I have some questions before I decide anything, Anea," I stated. "And I want the truth. You're asking me for everything I have and all I ever wanted. If you can't look me in the eye and give me straight answers..." I trailed off. Was there any point in that kind of bluster after what I'd just done? Surely the dragon now understood I would never stand by when there were innocents in danger, much less lay a hand on them myself. She could keep me as her prisoner without fear that I'd take revenge on her eggs or hatchlings.
Anea knew me well enough to guess why I'd stopped. "Adrian, I'm not going to keep you here if you decide to leave. This is my burden. Not yours. Not theirs." She nodded at the eggs held in her paw. "I need help to keep them safe, and I want your help. But after all the mistakes I've made in the past year, I have no right to inflict suffering on others to try and make things right. Ask anything you wish."
"Alright," I said, my gaze hardening, "Earlier, you stopped me. I felt your mind control magic again. But that shouldn't be possible because you told me you ended that spell." Before I listened to any more of Anea's story, I needed to figure out what kind of games she was still playing with my mind. The dragon's sides heaved in a sigh, but she didn't look away from my accusing glare.
"I didn't mean to take advantage of that, and I am very ashamed that I did. But I wasn't lying when I said I'd ended my Alteration spells. You have to understand, that compulsion you feel to do what I tell you doesn't come from me or magic. It comes from inside your own mind. I used magic to put it there, but it is a part of you now just like all the other changes I made. I am not sure you've noticed, but I have been very careful to avoid directly telling you to do things since then. What I did to you was terrible, and the last thing I want is to hurt you like that again." My entire body throbbed with anger at her confession, but I didn't fall into rage again. She seemed genuinely ashamed of what she'd done, both then and now. Maybe she hadn't misled me on purpose.
"Let's say I believe you, and I'm stuck with your hooks in my brain for the same reasons I'm stuck with a fire lung. Is it just your orders I'll react like that too, or anyone's?" Anea's wings dropped straight onto the ground at the question.
"Oh my..." she closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't know, Adrian. It should just be me. I want to tell you it's just me. But that spell got so out of wing, I'm still trying to understand everything it did to you. I cannot promise you won't feel the same way when anyone else gives you an order as you have with me. I'm sorry, but I just don't know."
"Well," I muttered bitterly, "At least I can be pretty sure you're telling the truth about that. And if it is everyone, then I'll just have to learn to live with it." I shook my head too. She's not making excuses, at least. She admits she was wrong. That should be enough, shouldn't it?
It wasn't. The injustice of what had been done to my body against my will made my blood boil, and I suspected it always would. Even if Anea had been able to take it all back, I'd still always hate that it had ever happened. But how did my continued anger help anyone? Answer: it didn't. I didn't have to forgive her, and I sure as hell wouldn't forget, but I thought I should at least try to move on.
"Why me?" I asked. If there was one question I wanted answered more than any other, this was it. "What makes you so sure I'm the one to help raise your kids? It can't just be because I'm here and convenient, can it?" Anea opened her eyes again and fixed me with a gaze as warm as a summer sun.
"You are here, and I'd never have considered letting a human anywhere near my hatchlings if we hadn't met. But I didn't choose you because I thought you were an easy solution. I've seen your fighting instincts, and I've seen your disgust with causing pain and taking life. I've seen you fear for your life and then take courageous action in spite of your fear. And no matter what you face, you never give up hope. I believe you would be a ferocious protector for these two, that you will help me think of clever ways to keep them fed and safe, and just as importantly, that you'd be someone my young could look up to and learn from. I couldn't have expected more from their own father." She paused to take a breath. "All of that said, I will not try to make you do this. It has to be your choice. I was going to tell you about all of this while I was carrying you to a human town in two days. That way, you could have been sure I wasn't trying to trick or force you into anything. I know you found it hard to believe me, but I was sincere when I promised you could leave when you were ready, and I will even fly you out of these mountains if that's what you decide."
"And if I leave, what happens to them?" I asked, indicating the eggs. "You seem pretty sure you can't raise them alone, but you're still going to try, aren't you?" Anea groaned and closed her eyes again.
"Adrian, I've already told you," she warned, "this is my burden to bear, unless you choose to share it. If you don't, what you're asking will only bring you pain." I rested my forehead in my palm.
"So you're going to let them die then. You aren't even going to try for them?"
"How would them dying before they ever awaken be worse than bringing two hatchlings into a short, miserable life of hunger and fear?" Anea snarled. "If there was any hope they would survive, I wouldn't be considering what I'm forced to now. With my nest destroyed, any chance I had of keeping them safe on my own is gone. They are so exposed out here, they're even in danger from the cold. I don't think there is another cave like the one I lost near here, and neither the eggs nor new hatchlings could make a long trip if I found one far away. The eggs will probably hatch before I have a proper incubation fire ready anyway, which means I won't even have time to look. I've been agonizing over this since I laid them moons ago. I will not make them suffer for my foolishness. So there. I didn't want to put it like this, but apparently you want your choice to be as difficult as possible. You can either go back to your people and help with their war, or you can stay with me and try to save my children. I'm asking you one last time: please don't leave."
Save your kids... and your soul. My heart ached for Anea as I tried to imagine what she must be going through. But how could I justify what she was asking me to do? I would be abandoning everything I'd ever worked for: my life, my friends, my family back home, and my duty to my country. But then, 'duty to my country' seemed like a hollow, empty idea to cling to compared to a mother begging me to keep her kids safe. And as for my life and career, what out of all I'd experienced in the world of humanity could compare to the fantastical world I'd stumbled into? It was dangerous and often terrifying, but it was also new and exhilarating and unknown to any other human alive today. It had been an incredible adventure already, and it didn't have to end. It was always going to tear my heart in half to leave. Now, it would completely shatter not only mine, but Anea's as well. Going home just isn't worth that.
Feeling weightless and a bit dizzy, like I'd just stepped off a bottomless cliff, I stood up and held my hand out to Anea. She hesitated a moment before gingerly reaching forward to press her muzzle against my palm. "Ok. I'll stay-"
Her eyes lit up and waves of dazzling ripples raced up and down her hide. "Oh! Thank you! Thank you so much! I can't even begin to-"
"Hold on," I laughed wearily, putting my hands up. "You didn't let me finish. I'll stay on one condition."