There was a knock from outside of the door and I heard Evan's voice;
"Rena are you ready to go" he asked. I looked in the mirror to give myself a once-over; bags under my eyes, distressed version of a puff, chapped lips, with a dead look in my eye. I had on a black dress and flats that Ms. Vanessa bought for me. I had been dreading this day for the longest but I knew I'd have to face it at some point. Today was the day of Tara's funeral, I was going to bury my baby sister who I raised as if she was my child.
"Rena" he said again causing me to jump.
"I'm coming" I replied. I opened the door to see Even propped against the wall with a black suit on and a solemn look in his eyes, he looked nice. I could tell how uncomfortable he was in the suit by the way he kept fidgeting. I gave him a half smile signaling that I was ready, we walked out and Ms. Vanessa and Ethan were waiting for us. Tara's dad had been contacted and he made a deal that he'd pay for the funeral expenses as long as he had nothing to do with planning it. Apparently he was married and had his own little family, he didn't want his wife to know that he had stepped out on her years ago.
As the church slowly came into view my stomach dropped, I was about to see her for the last time in a casket. Saying goodbye to Tara for good was something I never thought I'd have to do. Although, I expected it to just be us but I noticed some kids from her school with their parents and some of the faculty. We got out of the car and made our way inside of the building, I could hear the organ playing some sad song. I couldn't focus on the words because as I neared the casket all I could think about was her. My knees started to get weak and Evan grabbed my waist to steady me. I looked in his eyes for a minute and it was like he gave me the little bit of strength I needed. At the front was a small baby blue casket, fit for a child, inside lay my sister.
Her brown curls were pinned up with a blue bow, with a matching blue dress and shoes. Which is fitting being that it is....well was her favorite color. I made it to her and grabbed her little hand holding it once more. I got choked on my tears at the feel of the coldness. Her usual glowing brown skin was now pale and lifeless. The little girl in the casket was unrecognizable, she is not the Tara I know and remember. I can always recall her smiling and giggling all the time unbeknownst to the fact that we had been dealt the short hand in the card game of life. I always knew that I had to keep going for her, to survive for her, to live for her.
I stood there drowning in my tears with The Parker's by my side crying but keeping me steady. Eventually I was led to my seat which had a front row showing to my dead sister. Everyone else quietly filed in and took their seats as well. The pastor started the sermon but I could barely hear him over my cries. Evan held me the entire time, I could feel his anger and his sadness. I wanted to tell him there was nothing he could have done, nothing any of us could have done. Though the words would not come out. Finally I found the courage to look up at her again. She looked a sleeping doll, a piece of plastic all made up.
"Rena, they're waiting for you" Ms. Vanessa said. I gazed around and everyone was looking at me expectantly. I had already forgotten that I had agreed to speak. Evan gave me a small reassuring smile and I took a deep breath, before I stood. I walked behind the podium and closed my eyes remembering how Tara looked when she smiled, she had the most beautiful smile. Even with her missing baby teeth, I thought that made her look even more adorable. I opened my eyes again and Evan mouthed 'take your time'.
"Tara always had the biggest imagination. She would be a unicorn in a mystical forest, a queen of a faraway kingdom, and sometimes an astronaut in space. But to all of us, she was an amazing friend, a student, and most of all my sister. She was so young but was aware of more than I realized. Though that didn't matter she went to school every single day with a smile on her face and love in her heart. She did not deserve this, no child does.....I loved my little sister and it kills me everyday knowing that I wasn't there to protect her. Now I may not have given birth to her, but I was her mother. I held her when she cried, I stayed up watching her while she had the flu, and maybe I wasn't perfect but I did my best. I sometimes wake up hoping that this is all just a bad dream then I come to the realization that it wasn't. She had to grow up and be a trooper at such an early age because of a monster who hides behind a woman. Tara is now my little free bird who doesn't have to fight anymore, now she is flying in the sky with the angels"